Flickers
by Ladyhawk1709
Summary: How could she explain, when she didn't even know what was going on herself? What if things didn't happen they way they were supposed to. AU setting
1. Prologue

**Flickers**

_How could she explain, when she didn't even know what was going on herself?_

**A/N: This idea was floating around in my head, I'm not a writer so I was a bit worried about writing it myself to be honest (yes, I have thought of pimping it out to some of the more talented people here, but I was unsure just how I would go about doing that.). It's been bugging me for a while though, so I thought I'd give it a go. Just a fair warning though, I'm Norwegian, so I'm gonna be blaming any mistakes on that, lol. I also have no clue where I'm going with this (I have an idea of what happens the next few chapters though, but not where it ends up), but that seems to be a trend around here, so at least I'm in good company. Also on a timing note, it couldn't be worse. I'm leaving for a holiday in about 3 weeks time, but I'll try and get this going before that. Yes, I know it's annoying when writers disappear for a month, but I'm hoping a few of you might be hooked before that time :P Oh and this might be a slow start, but I'm trying to set a "tone" here, so indulge me.**

***Edit* Now with new, and hopefully, improved formatting :)**

**Prologue:**

"I'll ask you again, shall I?" The man standing across from her leaned heavily over the desk that separated them. His green eyes trying to pry something, anything, out of the person sitting on the other side. She looks around, trying to figure out where it would be logical to begin, sure that the green eyed man wouldn't understand however she chose to put it. The room was quite depressing really, a drab grey colour and no windows. There was of course the huge mirror on the wall, made for looking in to the room, one way mirror she thought it was called. She speculated if that could be counted as a window. She shook her head slightly as thoughts of who was on the other side briefly flew by.

"Hey! I'm still here you know!" Green eyes staring at her as unrelenting as before.

"Of course you're here, you twat, I haven't gone blind", was what her mind was screaming for her to say, instead she settled for a sigh and a "is it ok to smoke? I think I'm gonna need the nicotine before I start this." The man across from her gave a small nod, and pushed an ashtray her way.

She automatically started patting her pockets, looking for her smokes, before remembering they had stripped her down to her underwear when she had arrived, and put her in this uniform. It was itchy and just as drably grey as the room. Not really the best way of making people feel at ease, she thought to herself. She looked up at the man, seated now, and saw a quickly hidden smirk, before hands produced her packet of smokes, and a box of matches, pushing that towards her too. It was the smirk that snapped her out of it a little. Reaching over, taking the cigarettes, she sighed again. How long had it been since she slept last, she couldn't really remember.

"I don't know where to start, really. I wasn't doing what you think I was gonna do." She looked up, saw that half formed smirk again. "And if I was, well, smirking at me wouldn't exactly make me feel better now would it?" Her words were laced with all the sarcasm she could muster at this point, her hands moving of their own accord to light the cigarette now hanging from her lips. The green eyed man shot her a look of thinly veiled contempt.

"I don't care what you think miss…" She looked at him as his eyebrows shot up a bit as he surveyed his notes. She sighed again, blowing out smoke, thinking that when she saw her mum next they were going to have a real talk about naming people. She was sure her mother had meant it to be an ironical statement of some sort, however much she had tried to claim to simply like the name Naomi. Fucking typical. She rolled her eyes.

She jumped as the man thumped his fists loudly on the table in front of them. Right, he was asking those questions again. Not the best time to start rolling her eyes and thinking up ways to torture her mother. Blue eyes snapped up, staring in to angry green ones.

"Keep your fucking balls on, yeah?" she heard herself say. At least her brain seemed to be kicking in. "I need to get my head together and it doesn't help to have a gorilla bashing about like he's got fucking tourettes or something. Not gonna make me talk any faster you know." She saw a vein pop out of his forehead. He stood up so fast that the chair crashed to the floor.

"Now you look, miss. Campbell," his mouth twisted into a snarl at the name, "I've had enough of your behaviour, now you tell me how you got up on that building, why you were there, and you better fucking well tell me now!" She rolled her eyes again, not thinking, before letting her eyes drift shut for a second.

_***Flicker* **__"You ruined it, you don't want anyone to care" A voice drifts towards her. She can hear herself sob, hear someone else sob. "Could be dead in a second." __***Flicker* **_

Her eyes shoot open, it happened again. It's been more frequent lately, almost as bad as last year. This seems different though, darker. She hears the echo of those words ring in her ears, not even noticing that someone else has come in to the room, and that they and the green eyed man are arguing loudly somewhere behind her. The echo isn't as loud here though, it was louder at the top of that building. She didn't even know why she felt drawn to it in the first place, just knew that she had to get up there. Had to be closer to that voice.

"…Needs a psych consult…" Quiet words are drifting around her, not making any sense.

"…don't care who you are…" Angry, these words are angry, she thinks.

"….kill herself." The other words although spoken more softly, manage to break through to her. She turns around quickly.

"I was not gonna kill myself, if I was I would have chosen a much better way than flinging myself of a 5 story building, wouldn't I?" She hears herself say loudly, before continuing in more of a mutter "Like a gun or pills or even fucking paper cuts." She sees the triumph in green eyes briefly, before looking away.

"See, she's just a troublemaker, probably trying to figure out where the best place to graffiti the building across from the one she was found on, or throwing things at cars, or something." He says while grinning like an idiot. Fucking tosser. A bitter laugh bubbles up in her, before her eyes shut again.

_***Flicker* **__"We were special" She hears a broken voice say, in between her own sobs. She wants to reach out and comfort the voice, but it's not her place anymore. It's her fault the voice is broken in the first place. "I was scared" she hears herself trying to reason with the voice, knows it's useless, but has to try. "You're always scared." the voice counters as it's walking away from her. __***Flicker* **_

The rooftop dissolves as her eyes open again. She's back in that grey boring room again and there is a new pair of eyes looking at her from across the table. She looks around trying to find the green eyed man, when did he go? Not that it matters much, the guy was a wanker. How long was she out for this time? Blue eyes meet a different stare, brown eyes now.

"It's alright miss. Campbell, officer Graham isn't here anymore. I'm Dr. Snipes." The new eyes are kinder, warmer somehow, it's easier to look into them then the green ones. She looks at the ashtray in front of her, the cigarette has smouldered in to nothing. At least five minutes then, she thinks. Her eyes find the brown ones again, they're the wrong shade. Where did that come from? Like there are wrong shades of brown all of a sudden, she shakes her head trying to clear it. Her head is spinning. Another cigarette finds its way to her lips, but before she can light it herself, a lighter is flicked on in front of her. Kind eyes looking at her. She takes a deep drag, feeling the nicotine calming her a little.

"Have you ever felt like it was all meant to be different?" she hears herself ask.

**And there you have it, the prologue. Should I continue? Cause I'll be more than happy to pass the story along to someone who actually can write (and doesn't start all their sentences with her or she) **

**Anyways, as they all say down here, read and review please. Show the newbie some love :P (Oh yes, I forgot to warn you, that I ramble and try to be funny... )**


	2. The beginning

**A/N: Thanks to the people who have read my shaky beginning. And since there was no "please stop writing this drivel, now!" reviews, I thought I'd continue the story. So here we go. This is a long chapter, by the way, I should have possibly split it in two, but... And I can in no way shape or form, promise that all the chapters will be this long. Also, the formatting of this is quite horrible, but I blame FF!**

*******Edit* Now with new, and hopefully, improved formatting :) **  


**Chapter 1; The beginning.**

There was a time when she had been like everyone else. A carefree, happy, open and social kid, with a smile on her lips and blue eyes sparkling with life. Even at age 12 it was evident that this was a distant memory.

"It's yellow." She answers the question her mother asks her. This was the 5th house they had looked at, and she didn't think her mother would ever find the one that "spoke to her".

"Let's have look inside, maybe it's a different colour in there." Came the airy answer. What was that even supposed to mean, she thought. Her mother starts up the stairs to the door, while Naomi rolls her eyes for God knows what time today. "Are you coming? Or are you just gonna stand there rolling your eyes all day, dear?" Gina turned to look at her, before continuing with a smirk "You know, your grandma would be very proud of your eye rolling. She perfected it. Called it the Campbell eye roll of death." With a sigh she followed her mother inside.

* * *

The house had been the one to speak to her mother, or so she had said. Naomi sat on her bed, looking at the uniform hanging on the chair in front of her. She had been dreading this day for a while. Getting up from the bed, she walked over to the clothes, hands touching the hem of the skirt. Better get it over with, it would be worse if she was late on her first day. As she got dressed her mind wandered to the conversation that had changed her, pushed her childhood away. Her mother had tried explaining it later, tried telling her it was for the best, saying how he was just a useless prick anyways. No matter how her mother had tried to explain it though, it hadn't changed the fact that she had lied to her, to her daughter none the less, for 11 years. There should be laws against pretending that parents were dead, and then having them reappear out of nowhere.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud yell from the kitchen, "Breakfast!". She looked in the mirror, checking that everything looked right, that her tie was straight. Blue eyes connected briefly with their mirror image, tears visible, but not fallen. She quickly brought a hand up to wipe away the trace of them, no need to make her mother worry more than necessary. She was all she had left now. Breakfast had been uneventful, her mother had prattled on about taking in her friend with a cheating husband, as long as it was the only the one, she had no problem with it. Her mother had a bit of a "taking in strays" complex, and the strays never seemed to leave.

She was walking towards her new school, thankfully she had talked a very enthusiastic, caftan wearing Gina, not to walk with her. She wondered why on earth her mother was hell-bent on making her feel like an idiot all the time. Maybe it had something to do with her father, or maybe all mothers behaved like this. After seeing what her father had put her mother through, one thing was clear though., she would not end up like her mother. Love could go die for all she cared. There was no way she would ever let love rule her, like her mother had once let it do to her. Confident in her newfound revelation, she picked up her pace a little.

Kids started crowding in with her on the sidewalk, all of them in clusters of 2 or more. Keeping her head down, not making eye contact with anyone, she made her way to in to the school and the assembly hall. Thanking her lucky star that at least her mother had timed their moving so that she started the year in a new school and not in the middle of it, she quickly found a seat. Looking around, she saw that the hall was only half full. The rows were filling up quickly. She looked up at the ceiling, counting the light bulbs, 43 still working, 13 not working. By the time she was done counting, the hall was more or less full. Luckily the two seats directly in front of her was occupied by two girls that were a bit smaller than the ones around them, so she would have no problem actually seeing what her new teacher looked like.

"Quiet please!" The sounds of people chatting diminished to a dull buzz, "Welcome to our new students, and to the old ones returning" The headmistress started in front. "We'll get to the class assignments in a while, there are a few more new students joining us then we anticipated, so there will be some changes in the classes this year." The buzz grew a bit at that. "Settle down, please! Right, as I was saying…"

The woman droned on, while Naomi took the opportunity while people was busy to look around at the other students. A unfamiliar smell of strawberries and fresh mowed grass, snuck it's way up her nostrils. It was a very nice smell, and she found herself trying to figure out where it came from. Somewhere in front of her she thought. Her eyes found the small shape directly in front of her again. Brown hair, slightly wavy met her eyes, there was a red hair band in it. Before her brain had time to think about what she was doing, she found herself leaning slightly forward, breathing in deeply. The girl smelled amazing. She snapped back, horrified at what she had been doing. After a quick look around, to make sure no one had seen her act like a lunatic stalker, her gaze returned to the person in front of her. Instead seeing the back of the random girls head though, her blue startled eyes met curious brown ones, the right shade this time. The world stopped turning.

It's funny how time can seem to stand still one moment and race ahead the next, she thought as she was on her way back home. There had been two of that girl, well not two of the same one, but she had had a twin. The twins name was Katie, she had no idea who the other, nice smelling, beautiful twin was. The other one, called Katie, had looked plain and boring to her, just another face in the crowd really. All she knew when her eyes had met the eyes of the other, she think she had heard the name Em, was that something had changed. Her life would never be the same. She didn't know what this feeling was yet, but she had a sinking feeling that it couldn't be anything good. She wondered what Em stood for. Emma maybe, or maybe the first letter of her name was M? She shook her head. This was getting her nowhere, no use in trying to figure out the name of some random girl who smelled nice, and had the most beautiful eyes she had seen. Whoa! Where had that come from? Beautiful? She vaguely remembered thinking the same thing did NOT mean she liked girls, just because she thought a girl was beautiful, smelled exceptional and she could spend her life staring in to those brown eyes, did it?

She had spent the rest of the day trying to talk her brain out of the track it had fallen in to. She had made a friend, or an acquaintance, too. He had offered her a cigarette, and in her confused state she had accepted. It was her first cigarette, and she found that despite the burning in her lungs, the nicotine had eased her mind a little. Maybe it wasn't love, how could it be, it had only been a look. One second of her life.

* * *

Over the next three years, she had spent her time buried in her school work, throwing herself into her mothers rallies and protests. Surprisingly, she liked politics and found her self hating injustice, no matter who or what, the issue was. Her mother had taken in 5 more people, and she was now essentially living in a commune. Her heart still fluttered whenever she saw the brunette with the brown eyes though, it didn't matter how busy she kept her head. She had made a few more friends, mostly out smoking in an attempt to limit the amount of times she would run into the twins. So maybe they weren't friends, just acquaintances. The only time she was forced to be around her was at lunch time, the school had some lame policy about everyone eating inside this giant mess hall. Every day she tried not looking at her, and every day her eyes would betray her and seek her out. It was almost like her eyes knew something her head didn't.

"So, you're coming, yeah? Naomi? Heeeelllo? Earth to Naomi" A hand was being waved in front of her face. She looked up at the guy grinning at her.

"It's not enough that you got me smoking, Steve, now you want me to start drinking too?" She said with a smirk. The guy just grinned at her before saying

"Don't go there Campbell, I've seen you drunk enough time to know it wouldn't be my fault this time. Besides, it'll be good for you to drink with someone else besides me. No one really believes me when I try to tell them you're a fun drunk." She raised her eyebrow a fraction, waiting, before he continued "Come on, it's my last chance to party it up in Bristol." She sighed., and rolled her eyes

"Fine, I'll come. But only to keep your sorry ass out of trouble. Wouldn't want you to look like a twat on your last outing here." He was her first friend here, and he was moving away in a few days, just after school was done. He didn't really know her though, no one did anymore. Her eyes drifted back to the twins in the corner. She needed to find a way to talk to her, she thought for the thousandth time in three years. Sure that if she could just talk to her, this stupid crush would go away.

Her mother was quite happy to see the her go, practically pushing her out the door, handing her a small bottle of cheap vodka. She had been so thrilled that her daughter finally took after her in some way, or so she'd said. The look in her mother eyes had been as proud as at the first protest they had gone to together, where she had kicked a police man in the shins for trying to arrest her mother.

Shaking her head at the memory, she lit up a cigarette while walking to where she would meet Steve. She was going to miss him, she realized. He had never made a pass at her, she had asked him why once and all he had said was that he had no shot at her anyways. She had never asked him why he thought that. Unscrewing the vodka bottle, figuring that she might as well get started, she saw a flash of red disappear around the corner ahead. Her stomach fluttered, but she figured it was the vodka starting to work, and quickly forgot about it. Her face broke into a grin when she saw Steve standing by the oak tree they had agreed on as their meeting place.

"I see you started too." The bottle he had just taken a drink from dangled from his hands.

"There you are! I was almost gonna send out a search party for you, you're late!" He roared. His eyes were already a little glassy. "Oh, and I scored some weed from my fathers desk" He produced a scraggly looking spliff from his jacket pocket with a little flourish. Waiting for the customary "Taadaa!" he always exclaimed whenever he did that, she just grinned at him.

The party was jumping by the time they'd gotten there. They giggled drunkenly while making their way inside, looking for a bar. The crowd separated them, but before they got to far away from each other she heard him yell, "Stay alive, Campbell! I will find you." Waving a hand in the air to show that she'd heard him, she made her way to the table that doubled as a bar.

There was a red head in front of her. It was a rather deep, rich shade of red, and she found herself wondering if it was a soft as it looked. Her stomach erupted with butterflies as her hand shot up of it's own to find out. Before the hand connected with the red though, the person turned around. Wide-eyed and startled she saw those eyes again, the eyes that made the world stop.

* * *

"What has this got to do with you being on that rooftop, miss. Campbell?" She was back in the drab little room. The wrong shade of brown eyes connected with her blue, she knew why they seemed wrong now.

" I thought you'd want me to start at the beginning? I thought it would make more sense if you heard it all." Chewing her lip, she gauged his reaction. His face gave nothing away, except maybe mild interest.

"I don't need your entire life story, you know. I'm glad you trust me enough to tell me though." She noticed a pen and a notebook poised in his hands, it looked like despite his words, he had already written all of it down. She lit another cigarette, her hands toying with the lighter he had left in the middle of the table. She had to make him see, make him understand.

"I know it sounds like I'm going too far back, that I'm giving you my life story , but you need to hear it all. And this, this is where it all started." She heard herself say, her mind already picking out her next words, before she heard him sigh.

"Alright then, continue please."

* * *

"Oh!" She heard herself say. Three years and all she could come up with was oh, stupid brain. "You, erm, had a… erm… lint, on the back of your dress" she managed to stutter, before feeling herself blush. It was quite dark in there, so she hoped the girl standing in front of her didn't notice. She should have known it was her really, strawberries and fresh mowed grass overpowered her senses. She felt herself becoming more sober by the second, and had an overwhelming urge to lean forward and kiss the one in front of her. She just wanted to know if she tasted like strawberries too. Her brain kicked in halfway towards leaning in, and instead of attacking the poor girl, that was now staring at her with a confused expression at her, she diverted the movement in to taking one of the bottles behind her.

"I, erm… Thank you, for the lint thing." she heard a surprisingly husky voice say. Her feet took a step back. Eyes looking anywhere, but at the ones looking at her.

"No problem." she muttered. The red head in front of her smiled briefly, and turned around while moving her hair out of the way.

"Would you mind getting it?" That husky voice sent shivers down her spine. Blushing again, she agreed, hand reaching out to pluck the imaginary lint of the back of the most intriguing person she had ever met. Electric jolts, shot through her body from her fingers, as she lightly brushed at the other girls back.

"I need some air." her own voice sounded weird, like it was strained.

A few minutes later, she found herself in the garden, behind a shed that shielded her from view from the rest of it. Her heart was racing, she leaned heavily on the wall, clutching the bottle she had taken from the house. She looked at it briefly before letting out a laugh, vodka again. Taking a sip, she felt as the liquor burned its way down her insides. She slid down to the ground. Suddenly a husky voice made its way from the garden behind her.

"Give a rest Katie, just because mum and dad are splitting up, and I'm going with mum, doesn't mean I'll forget you. You're my twin for fucks sake." Leaving? She was leaving? She peaked out from behind the shed only to see a angry looking, breathtakingly beautiful red head staring hard at her ordinary looking brunette twin. She realized she the brunette twin had said something, when that husky voice drifted towards her again. "…nothing to do with you why I coloured my hair. I just wanted a change, I wanted to be different, not just your fucking shadow anymore." Naomi took another swig of the bottle, debating with herself weather or not to get up and interrupt the pair.

"…this nonsense about being gay, it's just stupid." Katie was saying. Gay? Who was gay? She hoped it was the red head. The red head looked like she was about to explode. Abruptly she turned and walked away. " Get back here!" She heard Katie say "Emily, don't you dare walk away from me! It's our last night together" her voice was cracking a bit. " EMILY!" She was yelling now. Naomi leaned back behind the shed. Emily. Her name had been Emily. She closed her eyes.

_***Flicker* **__She was sitting outside on a bench alone, smoking. The bass from the music inside made the bench pulsate slightly, her eyes were on the ground before her. Suddenly a dress clad person stood before her. She heard a husky voice say, "Got room for one more on that bench?" as her own eyes trailed up, finally connecting with downcast brown ones. The buzz from the alcohol evaporated, as the buzz of something else started in the pit of her stomach. Lust maybe? _

_She shifted on the bench, making room for the new arrival. "Sure, have a seat." she was slightly surprised that her voice was so steady. "I'm Emily." Emily, her name was Emily, she smiled to herself. _

_"Hi Emily," she liked the way the name rolled of her tongue, "I'm Naomi." Their eyes connected, and the rest of the world melted away. Nothing mattered but them and the bench they sat on. Her lips looked so inviting, so red. "_

_There never was any lint, was there?" she heard Emily whisper, and before she could think of a lie, lips crashed onto hers. Emily was clinging to her, lips moving on hers. She could feel the hairs on the back of her neck trying to stand. She opened her mouth slightly, tasting nothing but Emily, her free hand trailing up the others spine, inching closer to her red hair. _

_"GET OFF HER YOU LEZZA BITCH!" She was suddenly dragged of a confused and scared looking Emily. __***Flicker***_

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* * *

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She drew a shaky breath, not looking at the man sitting across from her. She had told him, she had never told anyone else before. Effy had come close to knowing the truth, but she had never actually explained to her it fully. she suspected she knew anyway.

"That was the first time it happened." She heard herself trying to explain the unexplainable. The man remained silent, but his pen was scratching softly against the paper in front of him. After what felt like an eternity, she heard the pen stop.

* * *

**So that's the beginning. Still want me to continue?**


	3. Alone

**A/N: I think I might be getting the hang of this formatting thing now, hopefully it's a bit better at least. I've never been much good at it anyways... Right, the story is coming along nicely (or at least coming along... lol). There are a few people appearing in this chapter, that I think you might recognize ;) Anyways, I'm off to watch series 3 again. purely for research purposes of course... I will not be replaying episode 306 over and over again... *ahem***

**Oh, and when you're done here... Go read Vanishing! It was completed today, and is an amazing piece of fanfiction. Much better then this little thing. **

**Chapter 2: Alone.**

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* * *

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"So you're saying this happened more than once?" The mild interest has turned into full-blown curiosity now. His head tilts slightly when she looks up at him. He looks like a scientist that is surveying a particularly interesting new type of bug. It looks like the silent stare she's shooting him, is getting to him. He clears his throat before trying to get her talking again, try to ease her with humour. It's nothing she haven't seen before.

"I don't mean the feelings you evidently had for this girl" he clears his throat again, with a reassuring small smile on his face. He's not judging, she gets it. "I mean these…. These…" his voice falters slightly, not sure how to phrase it. She's still staring at him, trying to decide if where the next part should start.

"I call them flickers. And it's have, I still love her" she offers absentmindedly, not noticing the mention of the word love. Her mind is dulled by the lack of sleep, everything is jumbled together. She just wants to get this over with. Wants to get out of here.

* * *

"Excited for your first day at college, love?" Her mothers voice brings her out of the gloomy thoughts for a minute.

"It'll be ok, I guess." She pushes her food around her plate, before setting the fork down and picking up her cup instead. "It'll just be the same old faces, won't it. Different, but the same." She looks at her mothers back.

"Maybe you'll be surprised." Came the reply.

She opens her mouth to say something to her, tell her about what happened in that garden. Finally open up about why she had come home crying. God knows her mother had tried asking her enough times. The beads at the kitchen door rattles, and a man wearing nothing but headphones walks in. Instead of saying what has been bothering her, she sighs and says, "Maybe. I have to go, don't want to be late."

She manages a smile in her mothers direction before, making her way in to the hallway. She passes a few more of their "lodgers" on her way out, what was it now, 10? 11? She had lost count a while back, people were moving in and out at random. It was getting ridiculous, but her mother seemed happy enough with the arrangement. Plus, as long as she still had her room all to herself, it didn't bother her much. She debates if she should walk, but decides on the bike. It'll be faster, and she really didn't want to be late. You just never know, maybe her mother would be right.

The bike stands are almost empty as she pulls up next to them. Briefly checking her watch just to confirm that she is indeed early, before heading off to some sort of a stand, figuring it'll be the perfect spot to have a smoke in. She misses Steve, but everything had fallen apart when she last saw him. He had sent her a few texts over the summer, she hadn't answered. Didn't know how to explain the tears, and drunken ramblings about Emily the last time she saw him. She had to hand it to him though, he had found her. She blows a few smoke rings, delighted that she still knew how. A couple people walks by, chatting excitedly. Her ears picks up on some of one of the conversations

"…mum said she'd make super duper brownies when I get home. Whizzer, innit?" Her eyes follows a rather weird pair as they make their way towards the entrance. The one who spoke was a rather odd looking blonde with pigtails and a skip in her step.

"That's great Panda." The brunette walking next to her says. She sounds bored, like she's talking on autopilot. Naomi follows them with her eyes as they get closer. It's like the blonde is speaking a foreign language, what a weird pair. The brunette is just nodding along, making non-committal noises every now and then. The blonde with the pigtails doesn't notice, just keeps on talking.

Smoky-blue eyes, meet ocean-blue for a second. She more sees the "Oh." that the brunette mutters, than hears it. It feels like those eyes can see right through her, like they know all her secrets.

Following in the wake of all the other people milling towards the gym were they have been told to meet, not really paying much attention, she practically walks in to the last person she wants to see right now.

"Watch it, bitch!" Oh, great! It's Katie, the boring twin. Maybe she should start thinking of her as the bitchy twin instead. Or, by the looks of it, the slutty twin. There must be a law somewhere forbidding the insane amounts of leopard print this girl has on. The fact was though, that despite that confident exterior, Katie looked lost.

Mumbling a quick apology, her eyes darts quickly around the hallway, searching for a flash of red. Nothing. Her eyes finds Katie's profile. It's amazing how two people can be so similar, and yet so incredibly different. Katie's hair is red too now, but a darker red then her twins. And her face is, her mind hesitates a second before the word comes to her. Rounder.

She must have been staring too hard, too long, cause all of a sudden Katie turns with a scowl on her face. Oh fuck.

"Wrong twin, muff-muncher. I'm not the gay one." Confusion, realisation and loss hits Naomi like a freight train. Too stunned to answer, she never notices Katie leave.

Still slightly dazed, not quite knowing how she got there, Naomi finds her self sitting in the middle of a crowd of people. She sees the brunette from earlier looking at her again. The persistent stare is what snaps her out of it. Finding a strength in her she never knew she had, she straightens her back slightly. The brunette has a half smile on her lips, like she knows what's going through the blondes head. Naomi meets her stare full on, not looking away this time. Walls coming up around her mind, as she forces her face into a scowl. The brunette smirks openly now, her smoky blue eyes are looking amused, before finally turning to face the front.

Looking around with her new found inner strength, she quickly finds Katie. Glaring daggers at the lesser twin, she watches as a finger points briefly at her. Giggling erupts from the crowd seated around the leopard print wearing bitch. Making a point of rolling her eyes at them, throwing in an indignant huff, she focuses on a spot in front of her instead. It hits out of nowhere.

_***Flicker***__ She feels those eyes on her before she sees her. Emily. Her heart gives an almighty lurch in her chest, as her blue eyes find warm brown ones. Forget butterflies, it feels more like a herd of horses are running rampant somewhere in her midsection. The ghost of a smile, so tiny it's nearly not there, is playing on the red heads lips. The make-shift walls that have been build over a summer without those eyes on her, crumble in an instant. She almost forgets she's supposed to be angry with her. Almost. __***Flicker***_

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* * *

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"This time your eyes weren't closed?" Puzzled brown eyes are looking at her, as the scene dissolves slowly in her head. She shakes her head at him, not trusting her voice. Clearing her throat, she looks up at him.

" I need something to drink. Water or something." Her voice sounds hoarse.

"Of course, I'll go get someone to get it for you." He smiles at her, concern in his eyes. He disappears out the door before she can thank him.

She uses the time he is out of the room to really look at herself in the one way mirror. Her hair is still damp from standing on that rooftop for three hours, in the pouring rain. She thinks the uniform they replaced her sodden clothes with, might be made of wool. She doesn't mind that it itches anymore, at least it's warm. Her eyes are bloodshot, dark circles evident bellow them. No wonder they wanted a psych consult. She looks awful.

He's only gone a minute. They sit in silence, waiting. She study him through the corner of her eye. He's in his 50ies, she guesses. His eyes are on his notes. An officer comes into to the room, placing a bottle of water and a paper cup in front of her. Taking a big gulp of the cold water, it feels better then any alcohol has ever done.

"Thanks." her voice sounds better. He just looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue.

* * *

The person bringing her out of her flicker, had been a guy called Cook. She supposed there was something behind that foul mouth and smirking stare of his, but she wasn't willing to bet on it. The guy was a walking cliché. She was currently sitting outside, her back pressed up against a tree. Her eyes were closed as she let the sun, hit her face. The flickers, that's what she had decided to call them, had found here a few more times in the last few hours. She had been on her way out of the gym, when the second of the day hit.

_***Flicker***__…."Watch it, Katie. Might get confused and fuck you with my great big strap on by mistake" The pained look in Emily's eyes had been what spurred her on…. __***Flicker***_

That one had been a bit confusing. The brunette with the smoky knowing eyes, had looked from Katie to Emily, while listening to Katie going on about how Naomi had forced herself on her twin. Even in her flicker, the brunette had seemed all knowing.

The next one had been during the introductions. She had learned that the brunette was called Effy. That Katie had never NOT had a boyfriend, and that she missed her twin. The last part had been whispered, but Naomi, who had sat herself right behind her, had heard it. She didn't think anyone else had though.

_***Flicker***__ "Umm. I'm Emily, I've never had a boyfriend." She sounded pitiful, but it was not going to break down the walls Naomi had hurriedly build back up. Plucking up the courage, she stood up clearing her throat. "I'm Naomi. I hate injustice." She paused for a second, biting her lip. Determined to push the unwanted feeling away from her, she added "People tell lies about me." Quite pleased with her resolve, she sat back down while fixing Emily with a glare. Emily looked away from her harsh look, and she could feel her heart sinking. __***Flicker***_

She sighed, while running her fingers through her hair, making it a mess. They had been so real. So vivid. She didn't want to go home just yet. Just wanted a minute to herself.

She had been under the tree for at least half an hour. Her hands automatically patted her pockets for her cigarettes. While she was swearing under her breath as she realized that she had smoked her last one right after school, a shadow fell on her. Opening her eyes, she saw a hand with a cigarette pack thrust out towards her. "You look like you need one." She heard a vaguely familiar voice say. Blinking a few times, trying to regain her focus in the sunlight, Effy swam into view. "Rough day?"

**Are you all still with me? Noone has fallen off the train somewhere? Good. **

**I'm not Effy, so leave me a review on the way out please :) **

**Have a great day/night :D**

**P.S: I like Cook, I love Katie, but this is Naomi's first time talking to them (even though Cook hasn't actually said a word in this story yet) and her first impressions. Wait a few more chapters before you chew my head off about how I portray them, alright?**


	4. Acceptance

**A/N: I'm sorry, this was supposed to come earlier, but I got caught up in real life and writers blocks... But here it is, chapter 3. I just wanna thank all the people who have reviewed, favourited and subscribed :D It makes me smile, and that is never a bad thing :D This chapter is mostly filler btw. I was supposed to get further in the story then this, but somehow I managed not to. Ah well. Oh, and the flickers are longer. And i'm tired, and not thinking clearly, I blame any mistakes on that (and being norwegian :P)**

**Chapter 3: Acceptance**

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* * *

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"Is this…" he looked down at his notes to make sure he got it right, "Effy, was it? Ah, yes. Is she important to all of this?" He looked back up at her expectantly.

She took a moment to contemplate his question, fiddling absentmindedly with the lighter in front of her. "She was the first real friend I made at Roundview. Unless you count Katie, of course." Her lips quirked slightly at that last statement. The less than amused stare she got back, made her clear her throat and continue.

"Effy is…" She faltered, trying to find the words to describe her friend without making both Effy and herself sound insane. "Well, let's just say she's unusually perceptive. Sometimes I think she might know more about what is going on in someones head then they do themselves. So when you ask if she's important, I think you'd be better off asking her yourself." She grinned at the thought of Effy and Dr. Snipes in the same room, going head to head. Now that was something she would've gladly paid money to see.

"I'm glad you find this amusing miss Campbell." His tone was neutral. She composed her face into a more serious one, just in case he was mad at her. She was determined to get through this, to have someone else know everything. This was her chance to get it all off her chest. That it was to a complete stranger, was just a bonus.

"Right." She said determinedly. "I'll just continue then, shall I?"

* * *

The rest of the week passed in an agonizingly slow pace. She had trouble sleeping, cause all she saw when she closed her eyes were warm brown eyes looking back at her. School did nothing to take her mind off it. It didn't help that half the students seemed to think she was gay. The hallways were filled with flashes of red, and she had near enough given herself a whiplash whipping her head around at all of them. Sometimes she could swear that she smelled the distinct scent of strawberries and fresh mowed grass. She had lost count of how many flickers came her way too. Most had been small, a smile here, a feeling there. By the time friday came around, she was a wreck. Leaning her head against her locker, relishing in the coolness of it, she felt, the now familiar, beginning of one.

_***Flicker* **Something made her look up, as she was getting a book out of her locker. She realized it had been a flash of red hair. Walking towards her, at the end of the hallway, was Emily. She just stood there with one hand on the locker door, while her heart raced, and her mouth went dry. Her head was screaming for her to look away and run as fast as she could in the opposite direction. It didn't seem her feet had gotten that memo though, cause she was rooted to the spot. Time seemed to be slowing down, as she watched Emily coming closer._

_"Fuck, you're too beautiful." The words came out in a strangled whisper, barely audible even to her own ears. As if Emily had heard her though, brown eyes caught blue and lit up. The look on her face was what made Naomi finally tear her eyes away. Nobody had ever looked at her like that. It scared the shit out of her._

_She slammed her locker shut, making people jump around her. She scowled at them, and rolled her eyes. Turning her back to Emily, she walked away from it all. Her head roared in triumph, while her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. ***Flicker***_

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up into a pair of smoky blue eyes. "Come on. You need some air" Effy simply stated and turned and walked towards the exit. Naomi followed with a sigh. There was no point in arguing, she did need some air, and she needed nicotine. She would have preferred it to be alone, to get her head around things, but Effy had an uncanny ability to show up when she wanted to be alone.

They walked in silence out the doors, and over to the stands Naomi had sat on her first day here. A question buzzed through Naomi's head, and before she could stop it, it came tumbling out. "Not scared to be seen with the big bad muff muncher, Ef?" She almost groaned, she didn't really want to know the answer. She raised a eyebrow as Effy looked up at her, grinning in what she hoped would look like a "I don't give a fuck about anything" way, and waited.

Effy dryly replied "So Katie was right? That must be a first." while lighting the cigarette already hanging from her lips, and sat down. Following her lead, Naomi fished out her own smokes, lit one and sat down too.

She shrugged at the brunette, relief flooding her. "You're the all-knowing one Ef, you tell me." Smirking as the brunettes mouth twitched. She had been an idiot in believing that Effy would care either way. There was no judgement in her eyes.

"I'm not much into labels." And with those words Effy closed her eyes and leant back, leaving Naomi to her own thoughts.

To be honest she didn't really believe much in labels herself. She had gone through the whole fucking a guy to prove she was straight thing. That hadn't really worked, as the fatal meeting with Emily at that party had proven to her. She only remembered bits and pieces of the walk home with Steve that night, but the constant string of "She's going away, she's not supposed to go away." while she cried her eyes out where unfortunately stuck in there though. He hadn't said goodbye when he left her in front of her house, and the look in his eyes had been awful.

Casting her mind on the more pressing matter of the flickers, she wondered for the thousandth time what they were. The feelings in them had been overwhelmingly real. Her head was practically buzzing with questions and theories. "Fuck me," she mumbled, "I need to get drunk."

" Sounds like a plan." Effy opened her eyes and smirked at her.

* * *

The door banged open and made them both jump. The green eyed bastard walked in with a tray. Naomi looked at him questioningly. "The rules say we have to feed you after a certain amount of time" He snarled at her, while banging the tray on the table so hard that the half-empty bottle of water fell over. Without another word he turned and walked back out, making sure to slam the door as loudly as he could.

"What the hell is his problem?" She scowled at where he had disappeared. The smell of food made her stomach rumble. Looking over at the food made it rumble again, this time a bit louder. Even the greasy looking chips, and some sort of a brown goo, did nothing to abolish the sudden pangs of hunger. "What is this stuff anyways?" she asked, indicating to the brown mass in front of her.

"To be honest, no one knows what that stuff is. As for the gentleman bringing it in, well, he's just a bit on edge." He looked up at her with something like amusement in his eyes. "It doesn't taste that bad actually." he said indicating to the food, while getting up from his chair. "I'm gonna let you eat in peace, I'll be back in 20 minutes." He stepped out from behind the table and headed towards the door.

"You're leaving? But I'm not finished yet. There is more." Her stomach chose that moment to vocally object to the fact that despite the proximity, there was no food making it's way in to it. She blushed slightly.

"I'll be back in a little while, don't worry." He smiled at her as he opened the door. "And do try and eat something miss Campbell, you sound hungry." The door closed softly. Picking up the fork, she looked back down at the tray, before poking at the brown mass gingerly. It made a squishing sound. She grimaced. The taste wasn't all that bad, she thought to herself after the first mouthful.

It took her no time at all to finish the food off. Dr. Snipes hadn't come back yet, so she lit another cigarette while she waited. Her mind drifted to where she wanted to start next. She could continue where she had been before the rude interruption, or she could go straight to the next flicker. Stifling a yawn, she made her decision just as the door opened again.

* * *

_***Flicker* **She didn't know why she had come here. She stood outside what could arguably be the worst pub in Bristol. When Cook had invited her she hadn't planned on going, but she had overheard Katie say that her and Emily was going. And here she was, chewing her lip while looking at the door handle like it was poisonous. Shaking her head slightly, pushing back her fears, she reached for it and went in. Cook was ecstatic that she'd shown, but she heard none of the words flying around the table. All she could see was Emily. She walked over to a seat opposite the red head, offering a quick glance around and a greeting of some sort, before her eyes settled on Emily again._

_"…it's my cock." Cook was waggling his eyebrows at her suggestively, licking his lips and looking her up and down. What the hell had she missed now? Judging by the laughter coming from Katie, something about being gay. She looked confusedly at Emily who all of a sudden reached down and pulled out a cake. Naomi knew she should leave, just get up and walk out of there, but Emily held her there with nothing more then a shy smile. Taking a large gulp of her beer, she thought to herself that it was going to be a long night. ***Flicker***_

Jesus fucking Christ, was there nowhere in Bristol with out some sort of connection to Emily? She reached for her fifth tequila shot, howling along with Cook. The rest of the table was looking a bit bored.

"Way to go Blondie, showing these pussies how it's done!" Cook was grinning at her like an idiot, before slamming back the last shot. Naomi just grinned back, feeling the effects of the alcohol cursing through her body. He was like a little kid, bouncing up and down in his seat, and she couldn't help thinking that he wasn't all that bad.

"Yeah well, she'd know her way around pussies at least." Katie smirked at the glower Naomi directed at her words. "Seeing as she's a lezzer and all." The silence descended around the table, all eyes now darting between Naomi's shocked face, and Katie's smug one. Cook was the first to recover.

"Fucking ace, Naomikins. You know, I have the cure for that." She knew it was coming, but this time there was no Emily ready with a distraction cake. "…it's my cock" He smirked and pointed down to his crotch. Katie was laughing like an idiot, but the rest of the table just looked uncomfortable, that made her stop rather quickly. Everyone was looking at her now, holding their breath.

She just grinned before countering "Oh honey. You couldn't make me feel alright if you stapled your tongue to my clit and stood on a cement mixer. What makes you think you could cure me?" Winking at him. The table exploded in laughter, Cook was banging his fists on the table and laughing harder than everyone else. Even Katie let out a snort.

"I like you, you're funny." Cook stood up and pulled her into a one armed bear hug. A murmur of agreement ran through the group, and Naomi finally felt like she belonged somewhere.

**Sorry for the bit abrupt ending, I just thought it was fitting... Hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Have a great night/day or whatever it is where you are. Leave me a review on the way out :D**


	5. Surprises

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews and all that :D ****I think the title says it all.**** So without any further delay, here is chapter 4. I hope you all like it :D**

**Chapter 4: Surprises**

Fuck, her head hurt. She tried to open her eyes, but the bright lights hitting them forced them shut rapidly. Someone was moving somewhere to the right of her, closing the drapes she guessed. The room was now slightly dimmer. Her hands came up rubbing at her face. Not bothering to muffle the groan that came out of her, she tried opening her eyes again. An unfamiliar room slowly came into view. Before she could fully focus on anything other then a wall filled with posters, she heard the door click shut.

Sitting bolt upright, groaning as the movement jarred her head more than she would like, she looked at the strange room more intently. She was alone, so the door closing had been someone leaving. There was another bed on the other side of the room. It was almost like someone slightly schizophrenic lived here. The other side of the room was filled with posters of David Beckham in his underwear, and other half naked men, while on her side, there was women. There were also gaps on her side, as if someone had taken down several posters, leaving holes where they once had been. A slight feeling of familiarity shot through her, it took her a second to recognize the faint trace of strawberries and freshly moved grass. She couldn't be, could she?

Her eyes widened as she saw a photo of two people, who were startlingly similar, but so vastly different, on the nightstand between the two beds. Her mind started racing, trying desperately to figure out how she got here. There had been more tequila after she had made everyone laugh like idiots, there had also been a spliff shared with Freddie, and some sort of a MDMA concoction from Cook. They had been trying to get in to a party on a boat at one point, but the bouncer had taken one look at her and Cook, who had at that point had been singing some sort of a filthy song at the top of their voices, while the rest had looked at them amused, and refused to let them in. Parts of a flicker drifted through her head as she remember leaving the marina, or more like stumbling arm in arm with Cook and Effy and the rest in tow.

_***Flicker* **She had to get out of there. She had caught herself staring at Emily more times then what she could count. Her head was buzzing with the proximity of the little red head with the warm brown eyes. All she wanted to do when she was near her was to reach out and touch her. She couldn't stand it anymore. Walking out in to the fresh air cleared her head a little._

_"Naomi. Wait." Off course Emily had followed her, she looked up at the sky. It irritated her that she had been followed, but parts of her was pleased._

_Pushing the parts that secretly rejoiced at the fact that Emily had followed her out, firmly down, she sighed and said harshly "What!" She had to drive Emily away, if being rude did the trick, she would be rude. Her heart squirmed at the thought. ***Flicker***_

She slumped back down, her head hitting the pillow. Why was she so scared of Emily in the flickers? She couldn't quite understand it. She had always been scared of love, of letting people in, but this was different. Emily was different, she knew that now. She knew there had been more to the last flicker, but she couldn't remember what.

Suddenly remembering where she was, she practically flew off the bed. Emily's bed. She wasn't aware that she was backing away from it before the back of her knees hit the other bed and she fell down on it. Her brain was whirring, if that was Emily's bed, that meant that the bed she was sitting on was Katie's. Standing back up rather quickly, she spotted her clothes and her bag on the floor, halfway beneath the bed she had slept in.

Her head was still pounding furiously. She reached out to snatch her clothes up, but something made her stop, a piece of paper was sticking out from underneath the mattress in front of her. Her fingers drifted towards it on their own. Lifting the mattress a little with her free hand, she took the paper out. Just as she was about to unfold it, the sound of footsteps outside the door reached her. Hurriedly she stuffed the little piece of paper into her bag and starting to gather up her clothes. The door opened as she was looking for her missing sock.

"Oh, good you're up." Katie came in wearing nothing but a dressing gown and a towel around her head. "Bathroom's free. You look like shit by the way" The last part came out with a smirk. Naomi looked at her slightly puzzled, not knowing what to say.

"So…" Naomi's voice came out in a croak, she cleared her throat and tried again. "So, how did I end up here? It all get's a bit fuzzy after the part with the boat." She raised an eyebrow, fixing Katie with a glare that said that she had heard the insult, but chosen not to respond.

"Don't get any ideas, lezzer." The last part was said with an amused twitch of Katie's lips. "Dad, and my annoying shit of a little brother has gone visiting…" Her voice faltered slightly, before finishing lamely. "Someone." She took a deep breath, snapping out of it, and continued more strongly "The rest of the gang are all here, Effy, Panda and Thomas in the living room, Freddie and JJ in my brothers bedroom, and Cook… Well, God knows where the wanker is. He said something about getting his dick damp." Katie looked disgusted for a moment. "Everyone came back here, cause you got us thrown out of every place we went too and I lived closest. Thomas and Freddie practically carried you here." Katie was grinning at her.

"Fuck off, Katiekins." She almost succeeded in keeping her own grin of her face. "You know you just wanted to get me back to your room so you could perv at me." She was grinning at the twin openly now.

Katie just scowled at her and pointed out the door and down the hall. "Bathroom is that way. And don't ever call me that again."

Laughing to herself Naomi, followed the pointed finger and made her way to the bathroom. Katie wasn't all that bad really. Her smile turned into a frown when she saw the state of the bathroom. A fucking slob though.

A quick shower, some jumping around looking for a towel and an attempt at making herself looking halfway human later, Naomi felt like a new person. She made her way back down the hallway, and noticed a few pictures lining the wall. In one was a man with a goofy grin, lifting a boy up over his head. That must have been the father and brother Katie had mentioned. She smiled at the joy in the little boys face, he looked like he was about 5 years old. The next picture showed the same boy, older now, sporting a grin that reminded her of Cook. It looked like it was taken recently.

The picture after that made her stop in her tracks. What looked like Katie at age 12, was in the foreground looking straight at the camera with an open grin, and slightly behind her stood Emily. There was a shy smile on her lips and secretive eyes half hidden behind her bangs. She was wearing what she had worn the first time Naomi had ever seen her. This must have been taken the same day. She wondered briefly what the secret was.

Remembering the folded piece of paper she had stuffed in to her bag earlier, she took another few steps towards the twins room. Tearing her eyes from the picture of Emily. She heard a muffled voice drift out from behind the door. It wasn't closed all the way. Katie was obviously talking to someone, maybe one of the others had gone in while Naomi was in the shower? She leaned closer to the door, trying to decide if she should just go in, or wait outside until whoever was in there came back out.

"…You knew I wouldn't come, I already told you I had plans this weekend. Hang on a sec, I'm just gonna put you on speaker while I do my make-up." She heard Katie say. There was a strange tone in her voice. This was obviously personal. Naomi leaned back from the door, turning to leave when the reply came.

"It's still all about you, isn't it Katie." The voice on the other end, froze Naomi. Her breath caught, and she edged back closer to the door, suddenly desperate to hear more.

"Come on Emsy. It's not like you've been back here since you went away. And you're the one that made it all about you the last time I saw you. What was it you said, something about me not dealing with you being gay? It's bullshit and you know it, Emily. I have gay friends, you know." The last part was added with a note of defiance that Naomi would have smirked at, hadn't she been so focused on the voice on the other end of the line.

"Bullshit!" Emily sounded furious. "You call it bullshit that you told me I wasn't gay, I was just stupid? Have you got any idea how hard it was for me to tell you? I knew you would react that way. Ever since I tried telling you about the time when I first saw…" Katie cut her off abruptly.

"I know, alright? I know! I was a twat. I was just scared of losing you, but you moved anyways, and I've had time to think it through. You're my sister for fuck's sake, and… And…" Naomi could hear the pleading in Katie's voice. It shocked her, she had never heard that in her voice before. "…I miss you." Katie finished. There was a few moments of silence. Naomi was beginning to regret her eavesdropping, but forgot her regrets when she heard Emily speak again.

"I miss you too, Katie." It was spoken so softly, that Naomi almost missed it. The voice got stronger again. "I only wish mum would come around too. She keeps setting me up with random guys, it's fucking annoying. And she ignores me, or tells me I'm being an idiot, when I try to tell her I'm gay. It's just so fucking frustrating! To top off the entire mess of a situation, I have a strange feeling it was all meant to be different. That I was supposed to stay there. I keep seeing…" Emily's voice trailed off.

"You keep seeing what?" Katie voiced the question running through Naomi's head.

"It doesn't matter, it's all a bit crazy anyways. I have to go, I'll tell mum you said hi." and with that Emily hung up. Naomi felt lost.

* * *

"What do you think she was going to say?" Dr. Snipes asked, bringing her back to reality. His eyes were boring in to hers, letting her know everything was ok. She felt strangely comforted by that gaze.

"I don't know. I know what I wanted her to say, but I just don't know." She sighed, before deciding she should probably explain it a bit better. "I wanted her to say she saw them too. The flickers." She stared at her hands. She wasn't sure if she wanted more questions about this.

Sensing her discomfort, he changed the subject. "What was on the note you found?" He asked her gently.

She looked at him, feeling grateful, before reaching for her cigarette pack. "I was just getting to that part." She lit the cigarette. "There's just a thing or two I need to mention before that."

* * *

Katie hadn't mentioned the conversation when Naomi finally felt it was safe to go retrieve her bag. Naomi didn't mention it either. She had spent the next few hours with her mind circling between the note in her bag, the picture in the hall and the conversation she had overheard. The gang was all sitting in the kitchen, chatting amongst themselves. When the time finally seemed right, she made a lame excuse, said goodbye to them all, and made her way to the door. She was looking for her shoes when she noticed the cat-flap in the door. For some reason it made her smile. She couldn't for the life of her understand why.

"Looking for these?" She hadn't heard Effy walking up behind her. Turning around she saw Effy staring at her more unreadable then usual with a pair of shoes hanging from an outstretched hand.

"Thanks Ef, I was beginning to wonder if they had walked out on their own." It was a lame joke, but she felt the need to say something under that enigmatic stare. Her smile faltered slightly when there was no reaction. "Anyways…" She reached out and took the shoes. "I better get going…" She put the shoes on, and turned to face the door again, her eyes falling on the cat-flap with a little frown.

She could have sworn she heard Effy saying something about the time not being right, when she closed the door. It would have bothered her if her mind wasn't already firmly on the note in her bag.

Naomi barely cleared the corner before reaching into her bag, taking the little piece of paper out. Turning it slowly over in her hands, she took a deep breath before she slowly started to unfold it. Not sure what exactly she was expecting. Her eyes scanning the page before her, she let out the breath she hadn't been aware she had held. It was a page of a diary.

The date printed in the corner was "Thursday, September 1. 2005." Her heart was racing. That was the day she had first locked eyes with Emily, the day the world had stopped. She couldn't stop looking at that date. Realizing that there were more on the page than just a date, she let her eyes trail down to the first sentence. The handwriting was sort of unformed, almost childish, but not quite.

"Me and Katie started school again today.  
She decided I should wear a red hair band.  
I like the colour, I think I want to dye my hair red.  
Katie would never let me, but I will some day.  
I saw her when I first got to school. I have never seen her before.  
She didn't see me. I think she was avoiding looking at anyone.  
I wanted to go say hi, but Katie said only losers says hi to complete strangers.  
It seems silly to me, how else are you supposed to make friends?  
But Katie is probably right, she wouldn't have said hi back.

I saw her again when we got to assembly, she was sitting alone.  
There were no two seats available next to her, and Katie said I had to sit with her.  
But there was a couple in front of the girl. She is very pretty.  
Katie grumbled a bit when I dragged her over to them and sat down.  
I lied and said they were the only two seats together I'd seen.  
I could feel the other girl behind me, it felt funny.  
She leaned closer to me, and I swear I could smell lilies and lavender.  
My stomach felt like it had a million butterflies in it.  
I turned around and her eyes met mine.  
They are bluer then the sky. Bluer then anything I've seen.  
It felt like I was floating through the clouds."

**There you go :D More Emily for the ones who asked for that. Leave a review, let me know what you think. Have a great day/night :D**


	6. Questions

**A/N: This turned out a bit... Well, let's just say the flickers all of a sudden became a bit longer. I want to thank all the people who have reviewed, both here and in messages. Special thanks goes to Es for a particularly long and lovely message, and to Hypes, just because it's not every day one of the FF royalty leaves you a review :D **

**Also, this might answer a few questions you have about the story, it might just bring more of them. Whatever it turns out to be for you, I hope you enjoy it :D**

**Chapter 5: Questions.**

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* * *

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"When I read that page, something changed. It felt like… I felt like…" She didn't know what to say next. Dr. Snipes just looked at her, waiting. His gaze bored its way into her, trying to read her.

Should she start with how she had walked home in a daze? Or maybe how, once she had gotten home, her mother had asked if she was ill? How she had reread the little piece of paper so many times, that the words had burned their way into her skull. How every time she closed her eyes, they were imprinted on the back of her eyelids. Flying behind visions of red, screaming in her head until she believed them. She sighed.

"You felt like it all started to make sense, that maybe there was a reason behind it all." Dr. Snipes finished for her, prodding her to continue.

"Yes." She nodded., took a deep breath and complied with his silent demand. "I started looking forward to the next flicker. Started following them around. It was easy once I learned how to recognize the feeling of déjà vu that preceded them. There was one that lead me to a club where I heard Emily say she wanted to kiss me again, several in school and all of them were wonderful. Even if I did feel like I was about to burst with fear and love in each one of them. I just couldn't stop chasing them. I just wanted to… needed to…" Her voice trailed off again, fearful for the first time that she might have said too much.

"You wanted to be closer to her." He stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She looked at him gratefully, feeling a bit sheepish.

"Erm…Right… So I followed the flickers where ever they took me. Somehow I ended up at a pyjamas party that Effy's friend Panda threw."

* * *

She stood outside the address Effy had texted her. She knew it was coming, the air was humming with anticipation. Taking a few calming breaths, she walked up the driveway. The day had flown by, only to slow to an agonizing crawl before it was time. She couldn't shake the feeling that something big was coming, After debating with herself if she should take cider or wine with her, she had never been to a pyjama party before, she had decided on both. She got to the door, and stood there wondering if she should ring the doorbell. Despite being used to it, it still felt like being hit by a freight train.

_***Flicker*** Naomi stood outside a door listening to what sounded like people singing some sort of a nursery rhyme inside. She wondered what the hell she was doing here, it wasn't like she knew Panda that well or anything. She refused to acknowledge the obvious reason why she was standing outside the door. Deep down she knew though._

_Muttering "Fucking hell" to herself she turned slightly, contemplating leaving before anyone knew she was here, something caught her eye. A man was looking at her from over the hedge next door, clippers in hand, obviously in the process of trimming his hedge. He was staring at her like she had grown an extra head_

_"Yes?" She put all her contempt at being put in this situation into that one little word._

_"Nothing, young lady. I have nothing to say to you at all." He went back to clipping the hedge with a vengeance._

_Right in the middle of muttering "What the hell is that about?" she heard the thing she really didn't want to hear. Emily. She sounded happy to see her, Naomi felt her heart do a flip. Stealing herself with a quick "Jesus." not sure if it was a prayer, or a curse, she turned to face her fears._

_"I've never been to a pyjama party before, so I brought vodka." Emily was looking at her expectantly, hope was shining out of her. "Was that right?"_

_Shrugging while offering a casual "Dunno." Naomi let her eyes trail over Emily's body down to the vodka bottle in her hand. She felt herself tense. This was not what she should be doing. She fixed her face with a slight smile. Not too big though, just in case Emily would get the wrong idea. "Or the right one." Her brain interjected._

_"I don't wear pyjamas." Emily's husky words made her suddenly have flashes of what she would be wearing instead, her eyes involuntarily trailed back down Emily's body again. She had to say something._

_"Right." Naomi took a deep breath, looking away briefly. It was all that was needed to get her brain back on track. Fixing her eyes firmly on Emily's face, she continued. "I dunno why she invited me anyway. I hardly know her." Emily suddenly looked a bit guilty._

_"I asked her to invite you." Naomi heard the words, but her brain refused to think of the possibilities of that simple statement. So she had asked Panda to invite her, had she? She could have sworn they already had went over all this at the club. It still made her stomach erupt in butterflies though. Emily wanted her. Fear flooded her mind._

_"I thought we sorted this out." Naomi heard her self say. She was trying desperately to regain control of the butterflies fluttering inside her. She was trying to push Emily as far away from her as possible._

_Emily's eyes widened. "No! I didn't mean like.." Naomi could see the fear go from Emily's eyes as her words came out, see the resolve settle as Emily continued. "Well, it doesn't hurt to get know each other, does it?" Naomi tried interrupting her, desperate for her to stop, but she was relentless. Naomi looked away "We're in the same class. We'll be hanging out for the next two years…"_

_Grabbing the only lifeline she could see in all of this, Naomi handed out a very low blow, cutting Emily off mid-sentence. "You going to tell people you're gay anytime soon?" She forced her eyes back on Emily's face to gauge the reaction she had caused. In her desperation it had come out harsher then she had intended. The silence stretched for what seemed like hours, but Naomi knew it had only been a second. Her insides squirmed at the hurt and confused look in Emily's eyes. Her own face was still mercifully impassive though._

_"What?" Emily looked scared now. "I'm not." There was a slight pause again, fear being replaced with confusion. "I'm not gay." It sounded like Emily was trying to convince herself. Naomi almost believed her. Almost._

_With a slight grin, not knowing if it was because Emily had failed to convince her, or if it was because she had, Naomi answered. "Telling you Em." Her head gave her a mental kick at the nickname, before urging her on quickly. "You haven't thought this through, have you?" She really hoped Emily hadn't noticed the nickname part. "Have _YOU_ thought this through?" Her head countered, sparking a new wave of fear. ***Flicker***_

Before her head was fully out of the flicker, the door in front of her flew open. Panda seized the bottle and cans she had been clutching, throwing the unceremoniously in to a flowerbed, before screaming at the top of her lungs, "MUUUUUM! MORE FRIENDS!" and then proceeded to drag a still shell shocked Naomi in to the house.

"Panda? Why did you…?" Panda cut her off, with a shushing motion. A woman came striding in, staring at Naomi's feet of all things. Obviously it made sense to Panda who all of a sudden was tugging at Naomi's shoes. Still slightly bewildered she lifted her feet one at the time, allowing Panda to remove her shoes.

"So who are you then?" Asked the woman, she assumed it was Panda's mother. She seemed a bit on edge and embarrassed about her now bouncing daughter.

"This is Naomi! Another friend! I told you I had more mum!" The delight in Panda's voice made Naomi smile. The decibels had gone down, but she was still more shrieking then talking.

Panda's mum greeted Naomi, and set about trying to calm Panda who was now going on about twister and monsters in the dark. Katie and Effy appeared from the kitchen, Katie sporting a mischievous grin. Something was going on there, she just hoped it wouldn't be too bad.

"..and we have Jell-O and cookies and mum made her super duper brownies, isn't it brill?" Panda was oblivious to the smirk that passed from Katie to Effy when she mentioned the "super duper brownies." Panda's mum was just oblivious, period. Naomi didn't miss it though, she didn't miss the sudden flash of red at the corner of her eye either. So, there was more to come she thought to herself. Suddenly a sober night, binging and playing twister didn't sound so bad, even if it did include having to wear pink pyjamas.

"I spiked the brownies with MDMA." Katie was grinning at Naomi, they were alone. Panda came bursting into the room, clutching the pink pyjamas, as Naomi grinned back.

"Look!" Panda exclaimed excitedly, holding up a pyjamas top. "Mum made them, and I helped sow on these. Whizzer! Aren't they!" She indicated at the letters on the front. "So you can have Brainy-Poo." She threw one in the direction of Katie. "Or Sexy-Poo!" Naomi caught the one aimed at her face. She really had no particular desire of wearing the thing, but Panda's excited face made her change her mind.

Panda's mum burst through the door just like her daughter had done only minutes later, holding a tray of brownies and looking high. "I usually make good brownies, but these…" She giggled. "These are brilliant!" Effy smirked at Katie, while Naomi was grinning openly to a confused looking Panda.

_***Flicker*** Naomi couldn't keep her eyes of Emily. She was so gorgeous it was ridiculous, even in that hideous pink pyjamas she looked divine. The way she moved as she was dancing, the flirty looks. Her entire body was humming. She tried blaming the brownies, but she had only had a tiny bite, she quickly took another. Just Emily's looks alone, was enough to flood her body with enough warmth to melt the polar icecaps. She had to get a grip somehow. This was dangerous. ***Flicker***_

"Panda, would you come out of there please?" Naomi was staring at the bathroom door, urging a crying Panda to come out and talk to them. "We put your mum to bed. She's gonna be fine, if that's what you're worried about." Naomi didn't know what else to say, she had never been good with other peoples feelings. She looked at Effy, telling her silently to step up. That it was her turn, Panda was her friend after all.

"I'm sorry Panda, I just thought I'd make things a bit more fun." Katie tried. There was a howl, and some incoherent words coming from the door they were all standing around. "Effy! For fucks sake! Say something to her." Katie was tugging at Effy's sleeve, trying desperately to get her to say something. "You're the one that said it would be fucking fun to spike the sodding brownies" She was scowling at her now.

"My parents are splitting up." Effy was looking at her feet. It was not what anyone would had expected, she had seemed fine all day, hadn't she? There was a deafening silence all around them all of a sudden. Panda had obviously heard it too.

Katie recovered first. "Right! Naomi, go get the booze. Effy come with me, we'll talk in here." She pointed at a door. "Panda, either get your ass out of there and stop moaning, or stay there until we can deal with your issues. One crisis at the time please, and I think parents splitting up takes fucking precedence over a passed out mum, it's not like we can do anything about that." She was dragging a for once startled Effy towards Panda's bedroom.

"Aye aye, Captain." Naomi said, grinning at the eye roll she got back. "Or should that be head bitch in charge?" She asked with a quirked eyebrow. Effy offered a weak smirk at that.

"Fuck you Campbell, just go get the damn booze. Panda threw ours in a flowerbed on the way in." Katie just shot at her, as Naomi was already heading down the stairs.

She took a detour to the kitchen, looking for more brownies, thinking they might come in handy too. For some reason there was a bouncy castle in the backyard. Shaking her head slightly at the delightful madness that was Pandora Moon, she scooped up the brownies on to a plate, and headed for the front doors. Realizing that she probably needed both her hands for the bottles and cans, she placed the brownies on the stairs, before heading out in search of the alcohol.

She stumbled slightly as she got outside, her head was spinning. Finding the bottles was easy, she grinned at them. "There you are!" She gathered them all, and headed back in. She didn't even consider the possibilities of another flicker, she was too busy trying to balance all the bottles and cans in her grip. It hit before she was halfway through the living room.

_***Flicker*** Her head was swimming with the MDMA. She couldn't get the stupid grin of her face. Emily was waiting for her when she got back in with the booze. It only made her smile wider. She actually giggled, she never giggled! Emily was beaming back at her, she looked so beautiful._

_"So… What do you want Ems?" She waved the wine bottle at her, giggling again. "Pinot Grigio, or…" She faltered slightly, Emily was so close, the air was suddenly full of electricity. She was floating on a strawberries and fresh mowed grass scented cloud . She swallowed. "Or cider oblivion?" She finished more seriously. Her eyes met Emily's, she saw something in them, something that should have scared her._

_"Anything…" Emily's voice was suddenly huskier. She was staring at Naomi's lips, and Naomi couldn't help staring at Emily's in turn. God, they looked inviting. Images of their first kiss flew through Naomi's mind. She forced her eyes back up to Emily's. Drowning in the chocolate brown._

_"Just give me a fucking…" The voice dropped a bit more, becoming more hoarse. "Just…just give me a…" Naomi had never felt more sober in her life. Emily's eyes flicked between her eyes and her lips, asking silently for permission._

_Sparks where flying all around them, the music in the background faded to nothing. All Naomi could hear was her heart beating wildly in her chest. She should stop this, shouldn't she? Her eyes drifted back to Emily's lips of their own. She saw a ghost of a smile on them before they were suddenly on hers. It was light, simple. She could feel her neck hairs struggling to stand up. It was over before she could do anything._

_Her eyes stayed closed for what felt like forever. She wanted more, it confused her. She wanted to catalogue every sensation Emily made her feel. It felt so right!_

_"Oh…" She cursed at her brain, "Again, all you can come up with is OH? What the fuck brain, say something! Anything will do. Don't let her see how much you come undone around her. COME ON!"_

_Her eyes met Emily's again, she saw the raw lust and want in them, she saw love. Saw the faint triumphant smile on her lips. "It was only the drugs, right?" She wanted Emily to tell her it was ok, that it didn't mean anything, even though she knew it meant everything._

_As Emily nodded her head vigorously, she couldn't help feeling relief. It was only the drugs, it was all going to be ok. She bit her bottom lip slightly before leaning back in. Emily met her half way. Soft lips met hers, the taste of them, of Emily, drove her over the edge. She had to keep clutching the alcohol between them to stay grounded. To shield herself._

_Emily's tongue connected briefly with hers, sending shivers down her spine. She had to fight back the slight moan she wanted to let out, fight to keep the bottle between them, fight not to throw caution to the wind and give in to the now raging inferno in her body. Nothing had ever felt like this. It was terrifyingly wonderful._

_When they finally broke apart, she couldn't tell if it had been seconds, minutes or hours, she felt dazed. She still wanted more, much, much more. She chewed on her lip, still able to taste Emily on it. Their eyes connected. She was begging Emily silently to say something, to break the spell. Emily got the message._

_"You liked that." Emily said with a smirk. Her eyes were twinkling and she looked breathtaking._

_"You have no idea!" she thought. It broke through though, shattering the images of pushing Emily up against a table and continuing kissing her. Suddenly afraid of her own feelings, suddenly needing to push Emily away again, she quirked her eyebrow at her and said "You're gay."_

_Nodding to herself, and plastering on a semblance of that intoxicated smile she had worn before, she walked away from her. She was still intoxicated, but this time it had nothing to do with drugs. She was high on Emily._

_She heard the sigh and a faint "Yes." behind her, and her smile grew into a real one. ***Flicker***_

_**

* * *

**_

"That was the moment I realized that I loved Emily more then I could ever imagine. She made it alright, she made it all about kissing, and not about the feelings behind it. I already loved her you see, but this made me fall deeper." Naomi looked up at Dr. Snipes, tears shining in her eyes. "Even if it was only in a flicker."

He looked at her with eyes filled with sympathy, it made her want to squirm. No, it made her want to scream at him. Howl at him to look away. He sighed, picking his words carefully. "And did that change anything?"

She nodded, her eyes firmly back on the table between them. "All of a sudden the flickers didn't seem enough. I didn't look forward to them anymore, they hurt too much. It hurt that I couldn't really reach out and touch her. She was destroying me, and she wasn't even there. I understood the fear and the overwhelming want to run away in them better. If this was the effect she had on me when she was only in my head, facing her in real life would be terrifying." It was her turn to sigh now.

"So what did you decide to do?" He asked her softly.

"I tried going on with my life, tried ignoring the flickers as much as I could. I walked away when I saw flashes of red, or felt I'd seen something before." She still wasn't looking at him.

"I take it didn't work the way you wanted it to? I mean since you're here and you are telling me all of this." He was urging her to get to the point, she could tell he wanted to know.

She wasn't ready yet. "No, it didn't work at all. Well, it did work for a while, but you can't outrun something that was meant to be." She had started this, she would finish it on her terms, in her own time. She looked up at him, determination filling every inch of her.

* * *

**Still with me? No? Ah well... Leave me a review and let me have it. Let the speculations begin *grins widely***


	7. Run

**A/N: "This line is mostly filler." **

**Apparently I wasn't finished with Panda's party... And then it sort of got a bit away from me... See, I was only gonna tidy it up, and then it grew a bit (It was meant to be a rather small part of a much larger chapter). Also, this is posted a bit late here (around 3.30!) So any mistakes are mine and mine alone (and my extremely tired brain's.). I just wanted to get it up, so I don't spend all of tomorrow (err, later today) polishing it... I want to start the next chapter as soon as possible, cause it's really starting to bug me.**

**Thanks to all who have reviewed, and story alerted and for some reason put my story as one of their favorites. **

**And Hypes? Just so you know, this flicker only grew this long because of you. You sort of got me excited over bouncy castles...**

**Chapter 6: Run.**

She found her self breathless, standing in the middle of Panda's living room. She was fighting back tears, this was insane. She couldn't do this anymore. The taste of Emily was a ghost in her mouth, she brought a shaky hand up to her lips, they were tingling, and a bottle collided with them instead. She looked down at her hands, confused. There was something she was meant to be doing, something to do with what was in her hands. Red floated behind her eyelids, every blink bringing another jolt cursing through her stomach. She took a few steps forwards, the world seemed to lurch. A door was open somewhere behind her, she could hear the birds singing. She set the bottles down on the table that was now in front of her, and started backing away towards the door.

"NAOMI!" She heard Katie scream from somewhere upstairs. "Did you get fucking lost? How hard can it be to find some damn bottles!"

She was two steps from the door, she looked out at the driveway. It would be so easy to just walk away from it all. Shaking her head, she took the two steps. With one last look at the blue sky, and neat hedges, she sighed and closed the door. Blocking it all from view.

"FOR FUCKS SAKE, LEZZER!" Katie was really getting impatient now. Naomi felt the world tilt back into place. She could run later.

"All right, all right, keep your vagina on!" She heard her self shout back up. "I'm coming, just hang on!" She grabbed a few of the bottles from the table and the plate of brownies she had left on the stairs, and went up.

Panda hadn't come out of the bathroom yet, she could still hear muted sobs from in there. She couldn't hear anything from the other door. Standing outside it, she suddenly wondered if she should knock, or just walk in. Shifting the bottles so that her hand was free, she took one last deep breath, willing her feelings back down. It felt like she was stuffing them in an undersized box. A box that could explode at any minute. When she was done, she opened the door.

Katie and Effy sat facing each other, legs crossed, on the bed. Neither had noticed the door opening. Naomi couldn't see Effy's look, but Katie looked confused. Something was going on. She wondered briefly if she should go back out and knock. She never had the chance, because suddenly Effy turned and faced her. There were something familiar in her eyes, fear maybe? It was only there for a millisecond.

"Took you long enough." Katie broke her train of thought. She had gotten up from the bed, and was now smoothing her pyjamas. Was there a hint of a blush in her cheeks, or was she just flushed because of the drugs? Effy was unreadable again.

"I was just getting these." She waved the brownies around. "And got a bit caught up in why there would be a bouncy castle in the backyard." Her brain added a silent comment. "And I was busy snogging your sister in my head, I think I love her by the way. Want to welcome me into the family now? Or should we do that later?" She shook her head at the sudden thought, she could feel the box of emotions shiver under the strain. She added a mental strap around it, making sure it wouldn't explode open just yet.

"Yeah, well, it was about bloody time." Katie grumbled, shooting a quick glance at Effy. "You talk to this basket case, and I'll try doing something with the one hiding in the bathroom." She strutted out the passed Naomi, grabbing one of the bottles, and closed the door behind her.

"Are you just going to stand there? Or are you gonna go on about your parents tragic divorce in details too?" Effy was quirking an eyebrow at her, indicating to the bed when their eyes connected.

"Nope, my parents were never married." Naomi countered. "My dad did come back from the dead when I was 11 though, only to piss off again 2 weeks later. Tragic enough for you?" She opened the bottle she still held, and took a long swig before handing it to Effy. "It's why we moved here actually. My mother had a bit of a… erm… let's just say she had a hard time with it all."

For the second time that day Effy looked startled. She took a drink of the bottle. "I…erm… Do you want to talk about it?" She asked lamely, handing the booze back to Naomi.

"Nope, not particularly. Do YOU want to talk about it?" She fixed Effy with a stare of her own. "Or do you maybe want to explain what just happened between you and Katie?" She smirked at her knowing what the answer would be.

A raised eyebrow and another swig of the bottle later Naomi was awarded with a shrug. She knew it would be the only answer she'd get out of Effy at this point. "I need a smoke." She stated before turning and walking out the door.

She bypassed a rather furious Katie, who was now screaming something about losers and locking themselves in bathrooms at fucking parties, and headed downstairs. For some reason she felt like going out the kitchen door and out in to the backyard. Firm in her belief that she wouldn't let another flicker find her, and sure that the bouncy castle held none, she sat down on the edge of it and lit up a cigarette. She was wrong.

_***Flicker*** She walked out in the backyard with a song in her heart. She knew Emily was following her, she could feel her three steps behind her. It was a strange feeling, but she was sure she could have pointed straight to Emily in a crowded room, blindfolded. Her skin hummed. ***Flicker***_

Her head was screaming. She had to get away from this, but she couldn't move. It wasn't fair, she wasn't going to do this anymore. She didn't want to do this anymore. She tried desperately to block it out, to make it go away. Relentlessly it slammed into her again.

_***Flicker*** "Come on, Ems!" She said with childish glee, taking Emily's hand and dragging her into the bouncy castle with a laugh. "Come bounce with me!" Emily's ringing laughter sounded like heaven, it made Naomi smile even wider._

_"Come bounce with me?" Emily laughed again. "Did you seriously just say that?" There was no spite in her words, only amusement. Naomi just started jumping, trying to time her jumps with the beats of her heart. Her heart was beating too fast, she couldn't keep up._

_Emily was looking at her, love was shining out of her, she was just standing there. Naomi's smile faltered a bit, it was unnerving how openly Emily was looking at her. She swallowed. "You know, this usually works better if you bend your knees and use your feet to push yourself of the ground." She teased, hoping to make Emily laugh again. She was rewarded with a huge grin._

_"Really? Like this you mean?" Sarcasm was dripping off every word, as Emily started jumping. Easily falling in to a rhythm with Naomi. Each jump they did, made the other fly higher. Neither of them could stop laughing._

_All of a sudden they were both on their backs, still laughing. "Oi, you made me fall!" Naomi exclaimed between giggles, she tried sounding like she was mad, but she could feel her own happiness practically coming off her in waves._

_"Did not!" Emily countered. "You're the one that made me fall!" She tried pouting, but her lips were twitching so violently in amusement it only made Naomi roar with laughter. "Bitch!" Emily said affectionately, before quickly rolling towards her. All of a sudden she was above Naomi, hands placed on each side of her face, holding herself up. "Admit you're the one that fell, and took me with you!"_

_Every thought of a reply flew out of Naomi's head. She was surrounded by red, brown eyes suddenly staring seriously into her own. One part of her brain was screaming "Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!" While the other was trying to drown out the first voice by howling " NO! NO! No! no." it finished of feebly while the other voice was howling in triumph. "KISS ME!"_

_"Did not." She managed to croak out, it was barely a whisper. Her eyes flicked to Emily's lips, she could feel goose bumps forming where their bodies where touching. She licked her lips. Emily started lowering herself, and time seemed to slow down. Fire raged through her, and she had to fight not to reach up and bring Emily crashing down on top of her. Her heart was thumping so hard she was sure it would burst out of her chest any second now. A soft breath caressed her lips and her eyes fluttered shut of their own. She couldn't stand it anymore, her head lifted the last few centimetres and her lips finally met Emily's._

_It was slow, tender and not at all like their previous kisses. A quiet intensity poured from Emily in to her. She felt her own arms wrap themselves around Emily's body, and the shudder that went through it. Her own body shuddered in reply, perfectly in harmony. Her lips parted slightly, her tongue ran over Emily's bottom lip, making them both shudder again. One of her hands found the hem of the pyjama top and pulled it up an inch, she let a finger run across the exposed skin. A tongue met her own with a sigh. The other hand slowly, lazily, followed Emily's spine. She could feel Emily's heart beating as wildly as her own. ***Flicker***_

Effy found her sitting there, tears pouring silently down her face. She had no idea how long she had been out there. Silently Effy got her to stand, and led her out of the backyard in to the street. Naomi didn't know where they were going, she didn't care. It turned out Effy took her home, and delivered her to a shocked Gina.

* * *

"My mother didn't know what had happened, she only knew I was completely broken. It took me three days to snap out of it." Naomi met the soft eyes of Dr. Snipes. "It only strengthen my resolve not to let it happen again. And for a time I made it work, I made it go away." Exhaling a breath she never knew she had held, she slumped back on the chair.

"How did your mother react? Did you tell her what happened?" He asked, he had caught on as to who set the pace here, but still tried urging her along.

"She fussed over me for the three days, as I was building back my walls. She gave up trying to ask me what had happened after the first two. I wish I had told her though, but the house was filled with strangers, and I didn't want her discussing her screwed up daughter with them. Stupid, I know, but it was what I felt at the time." Naomi rubbed her eyes, and shoved a hand unceremoniously through her hair. "Effy never mentioned it when I got back to school."

* * *

She stood outside Roundview, a flash of red had stopped her in her tracks. She turned and walked in a side door instead. People were milling all around her, not knowing the extreme care she took in checking if it was safe to walk down to her classroom. Her eyes were darting everywhere, trying to look in all directions at once.

"Feeling better?" A voice behind her made her jump. She turned quickly, and almost chocked when she looked into a pair of painfully familiar brown eyes. They were slightly wrong though. "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to make you jump." Katie was looking at her curiously, it made her wonder how much Effy had told her. "Effy said you were sick." She was scrutinizing her before continuing. "You look like shit by the way. Have you heard of this thing called sleep?" Katie had obviously deemed her well enough to insult, so she knew she didn't look too bad. And more importantly, Effy hadn't said anything.

Nearly a month passed, she had managed to avoid more flickers. She went to pubs and clubs on the other side of town, made sure to change directions whenever she saw a flash of red, and ran whenever a feeling of déjà vu hit her. She was starting to feel more secure, more like herself again. She drank with Cook, smoked spliffs with Freddie, went clubbing with Effy, she went with JJ to help him pick out clothes and to keep him out of leopard print as Katie was the one originally taking him, giggled with Panda and Thomas which were inseparable and very much in love. It was almost like the flickers never had happened. If it wasn't for the dull ache in her chest, she would have believed they had only been in her head.

"What's going on with you, Cook and Freddie" She asked Effy. They were sitting outside the college in what had become their spot. It was a beautiful day. She offered the brunette a cigarette, after taking one out herself. Effy just looked at her with her trademark mysterious stare, before taking the smoke. "And don't look at my with that stare Stonem, something is clearly going on there."

"I slept with Cook a while back." Was all she offered, with a slight shrug. It did explain a lot, everyone knew Freddie had a thing for Effy. Naomi bored her eyes into the other girls eyes, and waited. She knew how to crack her now, one of the many tricks she had learned in the last month or so. Effy sighed. "Freddie never got over it."

"Do you want him to get over it?" Naomi asked her.

"No, I don't think I do anymore. There's…" For the first time since Naomi had known her, she hesitated.

"There's someone else?" Naomi guessed. Effy nodded briefly and looked away. Suddenly having a dreadful feeling Naomi quickly asked. "It's not Cook is it? I mean, I love the guy, but he's… Well, he's Cook." She finished lamely

Effy's eyes shot back to hers so quickly they seemed to blur. "Oh God, no! It's definitely not Cook. One go on his crayola dick is enough." She shuddered slightly. Naomi grinned at her. Sensing that Effy wasn't ready to tell, they smoked the rest of their cigarettes in silence.

As they stood up and gathered their things, Effy nudged her and pointed out a girl that was seemingly reading under a nearby tree. "There's your fan again, what do you think she's reading this time?" Effy air quoted the "reading" part. Effy kept pointing her out to Naomi, although Naomi had no idea why. Yes, the girl was around a lot, but it was a small college, no surprise that you'd see the same faces day after day.

"Give it a rest Effy, she's not following me around." She walked by the girl, with a laughing Effy in tow. Her mind already on other things. A flash of red made her stop. Effy noticing the hesitation, changed directions seamlessly and walked towards another entrance without a word. Shooting her a grateful look as she passed, Naomi followed silently.

* * *

"The days were all like that, I ate, went to school, did my homework, and ran in different directions whenever a flicker threatened to overcome me again. It seemed I spent the better parts of my days running actually. I filled them all with as much stuff as I could, as many people as I could. Hoping that if I never thought about it, there would come a day without a flash of red." Her eyes were closed, she heard the pen on the other side of the table stop. She was sure she could feel the look of sympathy again.

He cleared his throat, and her eyes opened. He smiled softly at her. "What happened next ms. Campbell?"

"Well." She heard herself say, knowing the next parts of the story would be hard to get through. "There comes a day when there is nowhere left to hide. When, no matter how hard you try to find a way, there just isn't anywhere left to run."

* * *

**And there you have my rather longwinded filler, that was supposed to be 500 to 1000 words max and come at the start of what will now be next chapter... Whoops... **

**You know the drill, leave me a review on the way out, and I'll be a happy camper :D**

**P.S: Dear Freffy/Ceffy fans, please don't kill me... You can point at me with bread all you want, but if I see one baseball bat, I'm out of here! **


	8. Believer

**A/N: Right, it was going to be one huge chapter sending me off on holiday... It's not going to be like that. I had to break it up, seriously. And since I decided that, there will be a new chapter (and the last before I'm off for 4 weeks.) tomorrow. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 7: Believer**

"Oh, for fucks sake!" Naomi grumbled, while quickly changing directions because of another flash of red. She was having a particularly bad day, and it hadn't even really started yet. She sighed as she headed to one of the side entrances. Waking up, choking on some random guy's foot had not been exactly fun. The fact that he was in her bed and she slept naked didn't help the situation much either. She had been halfway across the room, before remembering that last detail. Her mother had been more hung up in trying to decide whether or not a banana was offensive, then a random stranger bunking in with her 17 year old, naked, daughter. Fat lot of help she had been. And now she had a full day of college to look forward to, fucking perfect. She felt ready to murder someone.

She headed for her locker, needing to pick up some books, still grumbling under her breath. People practically leapt away from her glare, wincing as she looked at them. She picked up her pace a little, wanting to get back outside and have a smoke. She reached her locker and threw her bag down on the floor, before slamming open the door. Her eyes brushed passed the girl standing at her own locker a little way further down. Their eyes met for a millisecond. There was something in them that she recognised, could it be want? She dismissed the thought as soon as it hit her. Better not tell Effy, she'd have a field day finding out that the girl she had dubbed "Naomi's biggest fan" actually did seem to want her. Throwing her locker shut, she stalked out the way she came. Effy probably knew already, and that only fuelled her anger more.

A cigarette, and some breathing exercises later, her anger had become more manageable. She made it through the hallways without having people jump about as if they were scared she'd take it out on them. They were having some sort of an assembly in one of the common rooms. She spotted Effy, Panda and Katie immediately and went over, felling her mood lift. Effy wordlessly shifted on the sofa, and made room for her to sit down. Before she got that far, a feeling of déjà vu hit her. Not knowing what the hell to do, she froze. Panic started rising up in her, she saw Effy say something to Katie, who frowned and looked at Naomi. She could feel it rushing towards her, going a million miles a minute, her mind blanked.

All of a sudden she was dragged out of the room. Firm grips on each of her arms, told her there were more then one doing the dragging.

"Come on Naomi, sit." She felt herself being shoved down on something, her mind was still struggling to form coherent thoughts. Slowly a worried looking Effy materialized in front of her, she was motioning to someone behind her. "Get her some water."

Effy stepped aside and Katie was all of a sudden pushing a paper cup in to her hands. "Is she ok?" Katie was looking at Effy. "I mean, she's not gonna puke or something, right? Cause I just bought these shoes." She was looking at Naomi now, with a mixture of fear, worry and disgust. "She looks a bit green."

She was in a bathroom stall, the lights were buzzing above her, Effy and Katie was scrutinizing her. She took a sip of the water, feeling it run down the back of her throat. She felt a bit better. "I'm fine Katiekins, I won't puke on your precious shoes." She said wryly as she looked pointedly at a pair of leopard print pumps on the twins feet, she felt the urge to laugh.

"Fuck off Campbell! At least you could say thanks. I mean we did keep you from making a complete twat out of yourself, passing out in front of everyone." Katie was glaring at her, but a slight hint of worry was still in her eyes. "What was that by the way? You looked like you saw a ghost all of a sudden. Effy practically pushed me towards you, saying you needed help, even before you seemed to go all green around the gills." Katie shot a puzzled look between Naomi and Effy. Effy just shrugged.

Naomi avoided her look. "I just felt dizzy all of a sudden, probably low blood sugar or something." She glanced up and saw the "like hell you did" look in Katie's eyes, saw her open her mouth to say something else and hurriedly interjected. "Look, I just didn't feel good alright? Just drop it."

"Alright then lezza, like I care." Katie shrugged, but a puzzled frown ruined the illusion that she didn't wonder what the hell was going on. She saw her shake her head slightly. "So what do we do now?" She looked at Effy, who had remained silent throughout their little interaction.

"We're gonna go get Naomi some food, and then we're gonna go smoke this somewhere quiet cause it's a beautiful day. Way too nice to spend in this dump." Effy held up a spliff, grinning at them, while starting out the door. They had no choice, but to follow the brunette.

They had spent the day giggling in a park, talking trash and getting high. It had taken her mind off it all, and she had actually enjoyed herself. The rest of the gang had joined them after a while, bringing more spliffs and some beers. They filled them in on what they had missed back at college, apparently there was to be an election. School president or something. JJ had brought a form for Naomi, saying something about thinking she might be into it, she had hugged him. Of course that had led to ten minutes of him spluttering and getting locked on. All in all, it had been fun.

"Time for me to get going." Naomi announced, brushing grass off her clothes, as she was standing up.

Cook bounded to his feet, throwing an arm around her. "What do you say Naomikins? You, me, out on the town? You could be my wingman." He waggled his eyebrows at her, while simultaneously managing to look hopeful.

She just grinned at him, he really was like an overgrown kid sometimes. "No thanks Cook, I have no intentions of watching you attempt to, how was it you put it?" She screwed her face up in mock concentration "Ah yes, get your dick damp." She raised an eyebrow at him. He threw his head back and howled with laughter.

Wiping tears from his eyes, he squeezed her with his free arm, before continuing to try and convince her of his latest lame idea. "Come on, it'll be fun. Come out with the Cookie monster, let him show you a good time. Who knows, maybe we'll both find ourselves some mint tits to squeeze in the night."

"Cook!" She said a bit exasperated. "Look, you have as much chance of me coming out with you as you have of becoming the elected school president. So just give it up, will you?" She extracted her self from his arm, and looked at him pointedly.

Unfortunately , he was looking at her with his trademark glimmering eyes. She could practically read his answer in them before he said it. "Done!" He rubbed his hands together, before starting to walk away, shouting over his shoulder. "You've got a deal, Blondie! JJ, come on, we have work to do!" Crap.

"Cook! Wait! I didn't…" She tried shouting after him, he just turned and waved at her, thrusting with his hips. She could see his grin all the way from where she stood, it made her groan. Amused stares met her, when she tried looking at the gang for help. She sighed. "Right, see you all tomorrow." A wave of goodbyes and laughter followed her as she walked out of the park. She smiled all the way home.

Her smile faltered when she reached her house, one of the "lodgers" had parked a dinged up, rust bucket of a car in front of it. It looked vaguely familiar. Before she could puzzle out where she'd seen it before, Kieran her politics teacher, came out the front door of her house. He was laughing at something someone said, she couldn't see who. He stepped out on the stairs, and all of a sudden, she saw her mother lean out and give him a kiss on the cheek. They didn't see her. Shocked she stood rooted to the spot, and watched as Kieran laughed again, and waved goodbye to a beaming Gina who waved back. His eyes met Naomi's as he turned around, they widened with something she could only describe as fear.

"Ah, Naomi." He said as he walked towards her. "I was just… ehh… well, I was looking for you actually." He was standing in front of her now, shuffling his feet. She said nothing, just waited for the rest. "And… Ehhm, well, umm… Gina invited me in. Your mum, she's a nice woman." There were something in his voice at that last statement that made her roll her eyes. Typical. He cleared his throat. "I was just coming to give you this." He ruffled through his bag for a second, before producing another of those president forms.

"Why?" was all she asked him. The tone in her voice was icy, and made him shuffle his feet a bit more. He looked nervous.

"Ah… I just thought, you might like it. Thought it would be right up your alley." He tried a small smile, it faltered as she frowned at him. "Look, Naomi. I think this is something you'd be good at." He held out the form to her again. "We all know you're the best candidate for it. I have to get going, but think about it."

Saying a quick thanks, she took the form, and went in to the house. Not sparing him another glance. It wasn't really his fault, but she took her temper at her mother out on him. It was fucking typical of her mother to throw herself at one of her teachers. Not that Kieran had looked like he objected much.

Ignoring the screaming baby, her mother asking if it was her and a rather nasty argument about the washing up between a feminist and a messiah looking dude, she went straight to her room. She managed to close the door, and lean against it, before a familiar feeling crashed into her. Her knees buckled as it began, the force seemed to have magnified tenfold since the last one.

_***Flicker***_ "_Jesus, is there never any peace?" Fuming, she threw her door open, scowling at a guy down the hall. She had to talk to her mother about this, it was getting too much. Her eyes fell on the small figure sitting on her bed. Of course, as if the day wasn't crap enough already. "How did you get in here?"_

_"This weird guy let me in." Emily was looking at her expectantly. "Looks a bit like Jesus?" The question was plain in her voice._

_"Yeah." Naomi sighed, closing the door. "It's like a game of Christ-themed Guess Who in this house." She was still fuming, but it was harder to hold on to her anger with Emily so close. She sat down on her dresser with a huff, crossing her arms. "What do you want?" She glared at the girl sitting on her bed. She was holding on to her anger by a fingernail now._

_"I wanted to give you this." Emily laid a form down on the bed, sliding it slightly towards Naomi. Her eyes never left Emily's face. She could feel her brain filing away the details, the way her hair fell over one eye, the shape of her mouth, nose, how her eyes seemed to glow when they connected with her own._

_"You're very annoying." She could feel her lips quirking upwards in a smile, all thoughts of lodgers and her mother firmly being pushed out by the presence of Emily._

_"Yeah well, you seem to inspire it in me." sarcasm was rolling of Emily in waves. Her lips were twitching too._

_Naomi leaned forward, placing an identical form on the bed next to the one Emily had brought. "Jinx." She heard herself say. It sounded a bit stupid, but a wave of air bringing that overpowering scent of Emily rushing through her brain, made her forgot all about it._

_"You're gonna run? Great." Emily stood up, Naomi couldn't look away from her. Suddenly the proximity of the little red head felt stifling. "I'll help with the form." She heard her continue._

_"No Emily, I don't need any help." She said it with a finality to it, meaning every word. Hoping it would make her leave. She met Emily's stare head on, willing herself to clear the small smile still threatening to break through her resolve. She saw the defeated look in her eyes, and regretted her harshness immediately. Too late now._

_"Right. Ok. Well, see you." Emily gathered up her bag and left the room without more than a glance in her direction. But her look said it all. "Right, we're back to this again, are we? Well, I'm not gonna stay here and make an idiot of myself."_

_Naomi could hear her heart slowing down to a more normal rate as the door closed, when did it speed up? She felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. It made her squirm. She cast her eyes around, looking for something, anything, to take her mind off the fact that Emily had been here. The slight hint of strawberries and fresh mowed grass still hung in the air. She let her bag drop to the floor, lowering her defences._

_"Just so you know," The door flew open and a very angry looking Emily all of a sudden stood before her. "My first thought when I see you, is not "I want to fuck that girl"" Naomi tried getting a word in, tried to apologize, Emily just continued as if she hadn't heard her. "We've kissed. Twice. It was nice. But it's also nice just being with you, when you're not being a prick, that is." Silence rang through the room._

_Technically they had kissed three times, not that Naomi was counting or anything. She was still kind of in shock at the whole speech, she said the first thing that popped into her head. "Eh, thanks." She frowned slightly. Apparently it was the right thing to say, it seemed to calm Emily down a bit._

_"You should run for president, because I think you'd be good at it." It was said with such conviction that Naomi felt her heart swell. "It's that simple, ok?" The silence stretched out again. Emily's eyes were burning into her own, she felt like she should run and hide from that stare._

_Naomi cast her mind around, trying to find something to say. "Eh, ok." She paused slightly again, but all that came out was: "Then you should…stay." Had she just asked Emily to stay? No, no, no, no._

_Horrified she watched as Emily said "Thanks. I will." and closed the door behind her. The smile on Emily's face wiped some of the fear away, and she felt herself smile back. ***Flicker***_

She knew she should run, but her breaths came in ragged puffs, and the back of her head throbbed. She had banged it when the flicker hit, and her knees had gone out from under her. It had never hit like this before, the force had been overwhelming. Maybe running from them had been a mistake, maybe this was something she had to do. Her brain was buzzing, she just wanted it to stop. Pushing herself of the floor, she walked over to her desk and fished out a vodka bottle hidden behind some books. Probably not the best idea right now, but it was all she had.

She lay down on her rug, taking a deep swig of the bottle. The liquor burned on the way down, and it made her wince. She let her mind drift over the last flicker. She had been an idiot. Not thinking about them had only made it worse, she had almost managed to convince herself that they wouldn't happen anymore. There was no doubt in her mind now, that she needed to see them through. Needed to get to the bottom of what they were, and what they meant. She never noticed the room growing dimmer, as the sun went down, her eyes were fixed at a point on her ceiling. Time didn't matter much to her, and her mind was whirring so loudly, she could swear she heard it.

This time it didn't hit her at all, it just drifted in taking over all her senses. It was as if when she stopped fighting them, they stopped fighting her. As if, in her act of letting go of the last of her doubts, they decided it was ok to treat her more gently. She knew she could stop it now if she wanted, but she closed her eyes and let it wash over her.

_***Flicker*** "…I can just see it now…in lights: Naomi - Get to know me!" Emily made up a silly voice at the last part, making Naomi grin._

_It had taken her two minutes to find the bottle of vodka she had stashed, desperately wanting something to take the edge of her fears. She still couldn't quite believe that Emily was here, in here room, and lying so close to her that their arms touched every time one of them moved. They had drunk nearly half the bottle already, but she knew that the warmth spreading through her, had nothing to do with the vodka._

_"I thought it was quite catchy." She said, a little sullen, at a beaming Emily, tilting her head to look at her. She was a little tipsy, and had actually been a bit proud that she'd thought up something at all. Emily being this close was wonderful and extremely confusing. She was lucky she had any thoughts at all._

_"Yeah, well, so is AIDS." Emily countered, making Naomi giggle all over again. A throaty laugh from Emily made her feel something deep in her stomach._

_She prodded the little bundle of feelings trying to determine what they were. Confusion, of course, a little bit of dread, curiosity was there, surprisingly, and a good dose of…lust. Add that to the already luminous feeling of love, and that was it. She sighed, it was a contented sigh._

_"Do you think I could do it?" She asked, tilting her head looking at Emily briefly. She was afraid that if she looked too long, she would drown in those pools of brown, and do something really stupid. "No drugs to blame today," she thought ruefully._

_"I think you can do anything." Emily answered, giving her an opening she never knew she was looking for._

_"Really?" She said, thinking over the next question she wanted to ask. Emily had said she could do anything, this was probably not what she had meant though. She sat up on her elbows, fixing Emily with a stare. "I've been wondering…"_

_She let it hang, and watched as an intrigued Emily rolled over and lifted herself up on her elbows too. "Yeah?" Emily giggled slightly, and started unscrewing the bottle cap. Her eyes now firmly on Naomi. Naomi looked down._

_"What does lesbians do…" She fiddled with her necklace, only meeting Emily's eyes at the final word. Emily suddenly looked a bit embarrassed, looking away, and took a quick swig of the vodka bottle. "You said I could do anything, Emily. Well, this is what I want to do, ask you awkward questions about lesbian sex." Her brain was saying. It didn't look like Emily was going to answer though, so she felt the need to push it a bit further. "…I mean… ehh…In bed." She giggled slightly at her nerve, and at the incredulous look on Emily's face._

_"I know what you mean!" The red head countered. Naomi held her breath, staring at Emily who all of a sudden had red spots appearing on her cheeks. She looked adorable, and Naomi had never wanted to jump someone so badly in all her life. To help her concentrate, she looked at Emily's hands instead. That was a mistake. They were fiddling with the neck of the bottle. Biting her lip trying, and failing, desperately not to think of where she really wanted those hands. It was Emily's next words that snapped her out of it. "How would I know?"_

_Her eyes flew up to Emily's face again, searching for the lie. "You've never…?" She heard herself ask, she couldn't keep the curiosity out of her voice. There was only truth in Emily's eyes, and trust. She swallowed, for some reason her head was roaring in triumph._

_"No" I've never!" It came out fast, and with a shocked laugh. Naomi joined her with a giggle more in relief, then amusement though._

_Spurred on how cute she found a blushing, embarrassed Emily, she took the bottle from her and asked. "I mean… is it all brouges and strap-ons, or..? She never got further._

_"Nooo!" Emily answered, rather high pitched. Naomi took a swig, smirking. "I don't know, they just…" She took a breath, and suddenly she became more serious. "Do what we do to ourselves. Only to each other." Naomi felt Emily's gaze burn on her face. Knew that if she turned now, she would be lost. Thankfully she felt the gaze leave her, and heard Emily continue with a grin in her voice "Probably slightly more aggressively. And with, you know, oilsss and stuff."_

_Naomi broke down laughing along side Emily at the stupid way she had said oils. Not thinking, blue eyes connected with brown, and the laughter died. Raw, unveiled lust and adoration stared back at her. The loud thumping of her own heat reached her ears, she had to say something. Drown out that treacherous sound. "No drugs, remember? There is no excuse this time… You can't!" Her brain was reasoning, it sounded stupid. All she wanted to do was to close the space between then, and make Emily squirm beneath her. The moment stretched._

_Finally, after what had felt like an eternity, her brain broke through the spell and she heard herself ask. "Oils, eh?" It wasn't the cleverest of questions, but at least it was better then her standard "Oh!" ***Flicker***_

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**__****Stayed tuned, there will be more... And it will probably be longer then this one. Hence why I broke it off here... Plus, you get an update sooner than expected. I'd say that's a win win situation.**

**__****Free drinks for all! (Or a fizzy drink off your choice, if you think you're not old enough to drink alcohol...)**


	9. Cling to me

**A/N: Jesus Fucking Christ, this was hard to write... Welcome, by the way, to all my lovely new reviewers. Some of you have some really fun ideas about what's happening :D**

**Oh, and this is the last one before I leave, I'll be back in four weeks to see if you've all recovered.**

**Chapter 8: Cling to me**

Her mind drifted back out from the flicker. She could still hear giggling in the back of her head. A residue of love floated in her too. She smiled. Humming under her breath, she got up and turned the lights on. She looked at herself in the mirror, she looked more relaxed then she had in ages, like an unseen burden had been lifted off her shoulders. The flickers still confused her, she had no idea why, or how, they worked. Or what they were for that matter. All she really knew, was that they were hers, and only hers. She had never heard of anything like it before, but maybe that was because the people who got them never talked about them.

The one thing that puzzled her more then the flickers themselves, were how she was behaving in them. She had always tried, and mostly succeeded, pushing people away, but pushing away Emily was like pushing away a mountain. Or maybe forcing the earth to turn in the other direction. She had no idea how the version of her in the flickers, thought she could do it. Pushing her mind off the subject it was now hovering around, no use trying to figure this out without all the pieces, she went to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She had barely set foot back in the room when another flicker found her.

_***Flicker*** Emily was dozing off in the middle of the floor, Naomi had no idea how long she had been watching her. There was just something about this perfect little form on the floor, that refused to let her eyes look away. "Come on Naomi, snap out of it." She mumbled to herself, shaking her head. The fog seemed to clear a little, until she noticed how Emily's dress had ridden up, and was exposing a surprisingly long leg, in all it's glory. Naomi swallowed. This had to stop._

_It took her several minutes to actually get up from the floor herself, and go over to Emily. First there was the leg, she had managed to get over that particular feature only to focus on how Emily's chest rose and fell as she breathed. After that her eyes had fallen on a spot on her neck, where she could see her pulse beating. The only reason why she wasn't looking at that now had been a sigh from Emily's mouth, which had made her jump up rather abruptly._

_"You're as bad as Cook" she mumbled under her breath, before leaning down to shake Emily awake. She swallowed again as her fingers connected with Emily's shoulders. What was it she was doing? Ah yes, waking her up. She shook her gently, and waited. Nothing. She tried again, this time shaking slightly harder. Her hands flew off those perfectly rounded shoulders as Emily stirred._

_"Katie, stop it." She moaned. "It's still bloody dark out." Her voice was huskier then usual. Naomi had to fight back a groan. She quickly got back on her feet, suddenly needing to put as much room between them as she could._

_She was just turning to get out of what seemed like the smallest room in the world, when Emily sat bolt upright, with a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Shit, I fell asleep didn't I?" A pair of sleepy brown eyes met her own._

_"Erm, yes… I have to go and… and… ehm.. I have to brush my teeth." She was looking anywhere but at Emily at this point. "But, erm, if you want to, eh, you know, sleep some more, I recommend using the bed. It's not as hard as the floor." She had no idea what she was babbling about, had she just told her to sleep in her bed? Jesus, this was not what she had woken her up for, she had been planning on telling her to go home._

_"Oh. I… right, bed is for sleeping." She heard Emily say, she sounded a bit confused. And maybe hopeful? Naomi swatted those last thoughts down._

_"I sleep on the left side, you just… just… Jesus, just stay on your side!" The last part came out more as a strangled croak. "I, erm, I'm going to the bathroom now. Remember, stay on your side."_

_"Christ Naomes, it's not like I'll rape you in your sleep or something. I am capable of sleeping in the same bed as you without jumping you." Emily sounded hurt._

_"I know" she thought to herself, bitterly, "but I'm not sure I'm capable of the same when it comes to you." ***Flicker***_

The overwhelming feeling of want and fear was still thick around her, when she came back from the flicker. It was enough to make her heart break over her own clueless behaviour. She understood it though, cause from the first time she had ever seen Emily, that had been the things that were constant. Want and fear. Fear had always been stronger, she was tired of it. Sighing, she crossed over to her bed, and flopped down on it.

Her dreams were filled with red and brown. She remembered little, but the feeling of being safe and loved, had her waking up smiling. It was early, but she felt wide awake. She turned around looking at the empty spot on the bed next to her.

_***Flicker*** She woke up groggily. There was a bottle in front of her, she reached over and took it. Had she really drunk all of it? A hazy memory of downing the last of it, before going to sleep came to her. Her muscles felt cramped, as if they had been forced to remain in the same position too long. She turned around, stretching them out a bit. Her eyes fell on the form besides her in the bed. A spray of red hair was on the pillow right in front of her. She followed her first instinct and reached out and touched it. It was so soft, she always imagined it would be, but it was better then anything her mind had come up with._

_Suddenly aware of what she was doing, she snatched her hand back. She shook her head, trying to get the thought of reaching out again, out of her mind. She cleared her throat. "Fucks sake." She heard her self say. One last look, and she got out of bed. She had to get some clothes, and get out of here. She wrenched her t-shirt off angrily. Her getting out of bed, made Emily stir. She froze, her t-shirt still in her hands._

_Transfixed she stared at her for a second, taking in the way the light hit her. Her bare leg. Every fibre of her screamed for her to get back into bed, take her in her arms and watch her wake up._

_"What are you doing?" she sighed dejectedly. She wasn't sure if the question was meant for herself, or if it was meant for Emily. She had to get out, the need to stay was nearly overpowering. With a last look, she gathered up some random clothes from the floor, and walked out. She could have sworn she heard her heart breaking with every step. ***Flicker***_

A wave of sadness hit her, but it was laced with a touch of wonder. Shaking her head slightly, she got up and mimicked what she had done in the flicker, by just grabbing some random clothes from the floor. She looked at the bed before she closed the door, part of her hoping that a half naked Emily would appear if she stared long enough. Of course that never happened.

She spent the morning filling out the school president form, not really sure if she was going to run or not. Better safe than sorry. Grinning to herself she thought up a slogan, she obviously couldn't use Naomi - get to know me, but she was confident that her new one wasn't half bad. She should probably make some flyers or something. Luckily the one good thing about living in a house full of protesters, was the copier that they all used for just that. She even had one of the messiahs help her. Some of their lodgers were nice, but she wished there weren't so many of them. Telling herself she really needed to talk to her mum about this for the 100th time, she walked out the door and headed for her bike.

When she got to school she got to witness first hand what a throw away comment to Cook, could actually result in. He had a crowd of people watching him, and was yelling something about voting for him meant that there would be non-stop partying. Groaning, she made her way towards where she saw Freddie standing. He was watching Cook with what could only be described as sadness.

"He really takes everything as a promise, doesn't he?" She asked once she was close enough. Freddy just continued staring up at Cook. "Who's that with him? Is that JJ?" She tried, he just nodded. She loved the guy, but he was being a twat. So she left him standing there wallowing in God knew what. Self doubt, or misery, would be her guess, and looked around for someone else to talk to.

She couldn't see anyone she knew, apart from Cook who was glaringly obvious on the top of the building in front of her. It looked like he had the crowd in his hand, and her resolve to run for president dwindled. A spot between her shoulder blades prickled as if she was being watched though. She frowned as she looked around again, trying to catch whoever it was in the act. Her eyes met the eyes of her supposed biggest fan, and it only made her frown more. What was her deal? She turned and walked away towards the bike stands so she could park her bike. Her frown turned to a small smile when she felt the beginnings of another flicker.

_***Flicker*** She tried picking up her pace to get away from the small figure following her, but it didn't work. She knew she had to stop ignoring her, when she heard the greeting behind her. She tried making her voice as disinterested as possible as she said hi back, that didn't work either. A quick glance behind her told her that Emily was still following. Crap, this meant she had to deal with this now._

_"You left pretty early." It wasn't a question, but there was an accusation in it. Naomi refused to look back at her. She fought the urge to hunch her shoulders as she felt Emily stare at her back._

_"I had… ehm… things to do, you know." The lie was so obvious that she wanted to cringe. She kept her eyes forward, fighting against the part of her that told her to turn around. The same part that would gladly go blind if she could just look into Emily's eyes before it happened._

_"Well." She heard behind her "I met your mum"_

_"Did you?" She answered shortly, hoping that if she didn't engage the person behind her, she would just go away._

_"She's nice." Emily sounded like she meant it. She sped up a little, trying to put more distance between them, and heard Emily picking up her pace a little too._

_"She's a cliché." She heard herself say._

_Emily countered almost immediately "She's a nice cliché." It was stated as if it was fact._

_"Is she?" Wondering why the hell she was following up the conversation, she stopped. She had to make Emily see. She chewed her lip briefly, trying to find the words. Realizing that she had to look at Emily to get her message across, she turned. "Emily, look…" The rest of her words caught as her eyes met brown ones._

_Emily just reached into her bag, and took out some flyers, oblivious to what she was doing to her. "I forgot to tell you, I made these in anticipation." she held up one. "Cool, huh?" Naomi didn't hear a word of it, her brain was still too busy trying to take in every little detail of the person standing in front of her. Jesus, she was beautiful._

_"I got the message Naomi." The words snapped her out of it, she stared at Emily fearfully. "I'll manage." Emily looked so determined and disappointed that Naomi all of a sudden had to fight the urge to go over and kiss the disappointment out of her. Her knuckles turned white with strain from holding on to the handlebars of her bike, holding herself back. Parts of her was disappointed too. Disappointed that Emily seemed to be letting her go so easily._

_"There's just one thing though." Emily's eyes drifted towards Cook, and Naomi's drifted down Emily's body. They flew back to her face when she heard her speak again. "You can't let him win, now, can you?" Emily smiled at her. She had to take a deep breath at the way her heart seemed to soar at the sight, and found herself smiling back. Everything wasn't lost. ***Flicker***_

The rest of the day she spent trying to make people vote for her. Her resolve to run had come back with her last flicker. She hung up her flyers, made her speeches. She was mostly by herself, but she was never alone. She could feel Emily all around her. Shimmers of red was floating just at the corner of her eyes. It made her smile like an idiot, but she didn't mind it much.

Effy was looking at her differently, she realised after spending most of lunch wrapped up in her own head. She had taken to reliving all her flickers at quiet moments, but the intensity of Effy's eyes on her had made her look up and meet smoky blue eyes with her own. "Did you say something Ef?" She asked.

Effy smirked at her. "I said: Finally!" She simply stated, and went back to eating her apple. Naomi frowned at her, it was clear that she wouldn't get any other answer though. When Effy ignored you like this, you never did. She looked at Katie who just shrugged.

Sighing, she got up and wondered if she had enough time for a quick speech on what she stood for. She rejected the idea, just wanted to get out and have a smoke before going to class. She paused at the door, letting another flicker settle in to her.

_***Flicker*** "Naomi!" Emily was pleading with her. "Naomi, wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She didn't let her get any further, she wanted to get as far away from her as possible._

_"Just leave me alone!" She screamed at her. Emily who had tried to follow her, stopped. Shock, hurt and confusion was plain on her face, and Naomi felt like someone had slapped her. Instead of apologizing, she turned and practically ran out of the common room. Ran from the laughter she thought she heard from all the others, and ran from the judgement in Emily's eyes. Tears blurred her vision. ***Flicker***_

Numbness spread through Naomi. Questions flying through her head. The memory of the hurt in Emily's eyes, made her want to throw up. Her legs moved of their own, slowly at first, and then sped up into a flat out run. Tears were streaming freely down her cheeks by the time she was on her bike, peddling like a maniac. She had to get as far away from that flicker as she could. She felt hollow, like someone had taken something from her. Somehow she managed to get back to her house without crashing into someone or something. She abandoned her bike, and ran to her room.

She sank down on her bed, still sobbing. Suddenly there was a little voice in the back of her head nudging her to calm down. It kept telling her that there was no logic in the flickers stopping now. That the story wasn't done yet. She clung to that voice, hoping with every fibre in her that it was right. Her tears seemed to slow, and finally they stopped.

Her eyes were drawn towards her bookshelf, she followed with the rest of her body, and drew out a book. She shook it over the bed, and watched as a single page fell out. Sighing at the sight, she put the book back where it belonged. Carefully she unfolded the paper, and reread the last part. A twelve year old Emily met her eyes in her head. It did feel like floating, Emily had been right. She sat looking at the page of the diary, Emily's diary. She fell asleep hours later, still clutching it.

She woke the next day with a need to get away from it all, a need to get things into perspective. A need to just simply get away for the day. The weather looked nice, so she decided on a bike ride. Maybe she could take some food and blankets and make a day of it. She got up and got dressed. She did a double take when she looked in the mirror, she could have sworn she had seen "Emily" written on one of her cheeks. It had almost felt like a flicker, but the feeling was gone in seconds. She dismissed it as wishful thinking. Her mind couldn't stop her hand wandering over the spot though, it all seemed familiar somehow.

She had no idea where she was going, she had just followed a road at random. Her mood was lifting the further she got from the city. The road she was on was beautiful, and it felt right for some reason. The air seemed cleaner, birds were singing and the sun shone from a nearly cloudless sky. Her bag was packed with food and blankets, she had even taken a bottle of vodka. She wondered briefly if she should stop at one of the fields she was cycling past, but she kept on peddling, not slowing, as they started disappearing and was being replaced by trees. The tarmac beneath her turned to gravel.

There was nothing special about the spot where she actually chose to stop. Surprisingly though she found a tiny trail leading further into the forest when she parked her bike. Curiously she followed it. It lead to one of the most breathtaking little lakes she had ever seen. "Wow" she murmured to herself.

_***Flicker*** The spot Emily had taken her to was truly beautiful, but what made it even more gorgeous was the presence of Emily her self. Emily was standing there, looking out over the lake. She had a slightly awed look on her face, and a patient one. It was obvious she was waiting for Naomi to say something, Naomi on the other hand had trouble looking at anything except Emily._

_"It's lovely." She heard herself say, she didn't mean the lake at all. Emily turns to look at her, and she feels the need to divert the happiness and love shining out of the beaming eyes looking at her. She turns her head and looks out over the lake. "It's a lovely place." Her eyes comes back to Emily's._

_"It's one of my favourites." Emily looks back over the water, smiling._

_They stand there a moment, perfectly at peace, before Emily suddenly walks a bit further up the bank and drops her bag. Shocked, Naomi watches as Emily takes of her t-shirt. It takes her a moment to process it all. "I didn't bring a swimming costume." She hears herself say after a while, figuring that Emily probably didn't take her top off to simply show off. Although she didn't think she really would have minded if that was the case._

_"Neither did I" Emily answers a bit amused. Naomi can't help it as her eyes are drawn down Emily's body. She feels the constant butterflies she has in her stomach around Emily, turn in to a raging herd of hippos. A knot of fear is growing in her as she watches as the skirt goes on the ground next to the t-shirt. Her eyes reconnects with a pair warm brown ones, and she hears her say: "Sun won't shine forever." The husky tone in the words, makes her spine tingle._

_"Someone might be looking!" She's almost pleading now, trying desperately to make Emily cover back up. Doesn't she know what she's doing to her? Emily bends to take off one of her shoes, and Naomi feel her eyes being drawn to the way the muscles in her arm moves. She swallows, this is getting dangerous._

_Emily just looks over at her, smirking and says: "Honey, your body ain't that special."_

_"Right." Naomi thinks. "Let's give her a taste of her own medicine then." She dropped her bag, before saying "Don't look, ok." Emily looks at her, amusement still in her eyes before agreeing._

_This was not what she had in mind when she called Emily, she had not planned on stripping down to her underwear in front of her. Or have Emily strip down to hers for that matter, hoped maybe. What? No, no… Not hoped. Bad brain._

_She felt Emily's eyes on her as she drew off her own t-shirt. Stealing herself, she gazed out over the water, giving herself a moment to compose herself. Her eyes met Emily's and the surrealism of it all hit her, she felt herself starting to giggle. Emily soon joined her. Feeling the tension lift a bit, Naomi went over and gave the now smirking Emily, a shove. "I said don't look." She tried keeping her tone serious, but a giggle burst through._

_"I wasn't looking, you just…" Emily shoved her back._

_Naomi doesn't give her a chance to get further before breaking in, shoving her again. "You were looking." Another couple of shoves, and loud giggling. "You were perving!" Naomi gives one last shove and pushes a startled Emily into the lake. ***Flicker***_

She can almost hear Emily's startled cries, and feels her face pull into a huge smile. It was no accident that she ended up here, she knows that now. Pulling off her clothes, not worrying about anything anymore, she jumps in the lake. It's freezing! Hurriedly, she gets back out.

An hour later she's sitting on her blanket, wrapped in the sweater she luckily had packed, with a fire roaring in front of her. The rain is falling softly all around her, but she can't bring herself to leave. She feels there's more to come. The smell of fresh mowed grass and strawberries mixes with the smell of wet dirt. She sighed, as she felt it brush against her like a feather. Her eyes drifted shut on their own.

_***Flicker*** "It's peaceful." Emily's voice drifted into her ears. Naomi agreed. It really was peaceful, the rain softly hitting the canopy of the trees, the flames of the little camp fire they had built crackling merrily. She felt the heat from the fire. Emily leaned in and poked the flames a bit. Her hand finding Naomi's when it came back, gripping slightly. She felt her own hand gripping back, it felt right, like their hands belonged together. She looked down at them, and smiled. None of them said a word, they just shifted so that their backs were pressing against each other, their hands never letting go of the others. It felt like the most natural thing in the world._

_It was Emily that felt the need to speak first. "Do you wanna do blowbacks?" Naomi felt the vibrations run through her body, and how Emily turned slightly, probably to look at her. Her hand was no longer on Naomi's, and it felt cold._

_"I never got blowbacks." She tried desperately to ignore the growing feeling of want in her. "Why can't people smoke the damn thing straight." She leaned forward, and started to rip some leaves of a nearby sapling. She needed to stop the tingling feeling she had had in it ever since Emily's hand left hers._

_"It's fun, have you even tried it?" Emily's quiet insistence, made her smile a little._

_"No." Her lips quirked again as she continued. "But being all-seeing, I already know it's shit." She knew the effect those words would have, or at least hoped she knew._

_"Come on." She felt Emily shift, turning to face her. Her smile grew again. "Everything once."_

_"Oh fuck it." She added a sigh for dramatic effect. "Go ahead and disappoint me." She turned to face Emily. Even relighting the spliff, she looked divine. Her hair was still somewhat wet. It was curling framing her face in a way she had never seen before. The way the sparkling firelight hit it, was breathtaking. She could feel her heartbeat starting to pick up speed._

_Emily took Naomi's hands and brought them up to her face, so that they were cupping the spliff she held between a pair of perfect lips. Naomi's breath became unsteady as Emily's hands suddenly was around her neck, drawing her closer. It shouldn't have been possible, but she could feel her own pupils dilate as her eyes met brown ones. She inhaled as Emily puffed out, and the world seemed to stop turning. All too soon they broke apart._

_Naomi looked down at the spliff in Emily's hands, before looking back up. Her brain stopped protesting the obvious for a second, and she met Emily's chocolate brown eyes with a look that was so full of love, lust and want that the small smile Emily had on her lips faltered. She suddenly looked a bit scared, almost in awe of what she was seeing. Naomi couldn't stand it, she was powerless to resist it anymore, she was tired of fighting._

_She leant in a bit unsteadily, her lips connecting with Emily's. It felt like being hit with lightning. A surge rippled through her, making her lean down to steady herself with her hands. Emily leant back into her, and the kiss that had started out slowly and innocently grew in intensity. Desire and love was filling every pore when she felt Emily gripping her gently, but firmly around her neck. She tried moving back, so she could look at her, see if she was feeling as strongly as what she herself felt. But Emily followed, refusing to let her go. She gasped as lips trailed down her neck, her hands flew up and clung to the arms holding her. It felt like falling, and she had to hold on to make sure she wasn't falling alone._

_"Say something ."she heard herself say, sky blue connecting with deep pools of brown. They looked almost black in the firelight, she bit her lip._

_"I'm all about experiments me." Emily tried to make it light hearted, but her hands drifted down to the hem of Naomi's sweater pulling it off her. And the look in her eyes, screamed the unspoken words between them- Naomi let out a sigh, and licked her lips before doing the same to Emily. It all seemed like a dream to her, she wanted her so much it hurt. She saw Emily reach up to fix her hair, and it all became to much for her. She barely had time to register that Emily licked her lips, making the inferno inside her impossibly hotter, before she crashed their mouths desperately together._

_Hands grazed skin, and the need to feel more overwhelmed her, as she pushed Emily to the ground. They were tugging at each others remaining clothes, needing the feel of skin against skin. Naomi felt her breath come in bursts as Emily straddled her, kissing every inch she could reach. She burned hotter then the sun as Emily made every hair on her body try to stand up. There was nothing left to do, but savour the unreal feeling of Emily sliding down her body. The stars seemed to spin around her, seemed to become a part of her, as she felt a shiver rake her body and her hips buck._

_Fingers were suddenly thrust into her, and her breath caught. Time and space stopped existing, nothing mattered, but the feel of those fingers moving inside her. She felt herself clench around them, wanting to keep them there, her hands looking franticly for something to grip. Her heart was ready to burst out of her chest. The thought of Emily being inside her, made her crash over the edge. It made her spin into a never-ending abyss, and the world exploded in red. ***Flicker***_

**Pay no attention to my attempts at smut if you didn't like it. As I said in the beginning, this was REALLY hard to write. And not only because of the smut, but because of all the love I have for this episode. I chose to leave it here because it's 4 in the bloody morning here, and I need some sleep! I'm not done with the episode, and I haven't forgotten about the cat-flap. :D**

**I hope you all have a great summer, I'll be back!**

**Oh, and leave me some reviews to read will you?**


	10. Aftermath

**A/N: I'm back! Right, just a short little chapter to ease me back into things. The next one should be coming fairly soon. Just a quick note on timelines, we're now gonna start moving away from the religious way I've been following the series. You'll have one small hint of it in here, but it will become more and more clear as we're moving along through the next chapters.**

**Oh, and I should warn you that I have a notepad that I "stole" (Es keeps saying I didn't, I keep saying I did) from a hotel I was in, and it's a mess. Some of it is good, though other things are complete and utter bull. Just goes to show that not all great ideas comes from being drunk :P**

**And one last thing, I've missed this place! I've missed this story! And I sure as hell have missed all of you guys (writers and reviewers) You all are wonderful people, this one is for all the other brilliant writers on here, you should know who you are as I review your stories at length. **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 9: Aftermath**

Spasms still shook Naomi's body as she came back to reality. Her breath still came in bursts. Hands still clenching the blanket beneath her, trying to grab hold of something real. Eyes squeezed shut, the images of Emily still burning they're way into her brain.

She could still feel her above her, holding her down, keeping her from floating away to join the millions of stars in the sky above her. She slowly opened her eyes, and felt her hands release the death grip she had on the blanket. With one last shaky breath, she forced her mind back to where she was, and sat up.

That had been intense. The feelings of want had been so strong, that they had drowned out the fear and let her be taken over by something far more powerful. She could still feel the disbelief of the situation in her head. She had been too stunned to stop it, been taken by surprise at the strength of her own need. It had almost felt like when she stopped fighting the flickers.

She understood better the idiocy it had been fighting them in the first place. No, not idiocy, the same crippling fear she felt in herself every time she was around Emily in the flickers. Somehow they had to be connected. Somehow, in the flickers, she had still managed to hold herself back. To let the last remains of her fear hold her in their grip and not allowing her to let herself go completely.

She stared into the flames of her little campfire, trying to figure out more why the flickers were important. She watched absentmindedly as the flames turned to embers, glowing faintly in the still dark forest. She sighed softly and laid back down. She closed her eyes and intended to find a few minutes of sleep, so she could look at it with fresh eyes in the morning.

_***Flicker*** Emily snuggled herself closer to Naomi, a content little sigh escaping her even as she slept. Naomi hadn't closed an eyelid, she just laid there listening to the forest. She turned her eyes away from the stars above her, and looked at the sleeping redhead beside her. She could just make her out from the glowing light of the dying fire. Hesitantly she reached out and pushed a strand of red hair off her face, Emily's nose twitched and she gripped Naomi a bit tighter._

_Naomi felt the her insides constrict with fear. This little wonderful person besides her, had no idea how utterly she had destroyed what had taken years to build. She knew she should go now, leave this place. Leave Emily. Her heart clenched at the idea._

_It would be easier to leave her now, to just go and not look back, but instead of extracting herself from the grip Emily had on her, she found herself gripping her back. A few more minutes couldn't hurt. She drifted into a pleasant sleep, promising herself that she was going to run, she just needed a few minutes to get her head together. ***Flicker***_

She was awoken by the sounds of birds chirping merrily in the trees around her. She yawned and stretched, feeling oddly refreshed from her short slumber. A quick glance at her watch told her that she still had time to get back home and grab a quick shower before she went to school.

Gathering up all her things, making sure her campfire was properly put out, she walked slowly up to where she had left her bike. Her mood was still on a high after the flickers she'd had the last night. Smiling, she gazed out over the lake again. Echoes of laughter still ringing in her ears. She turned and started walking her bike along the little gravel road. Again a flash of red caught her attention, and she half turned, meeting her new flicker head on.

_***Flicker*** Carefully extracting herself from a still sleeping Emily, Naomi was cursing softly to herself. She had slept longer then she had intended. She quietly got dressed and grabbed her bag. It was time to run. She shot the sleeping form a last longing look, and went to get her bike. The fear in her was almost as overwhelming as the need and want had been the night before. She had let her guard down, it should have never happened._

_She quickly got up to where she had left her bike, letting her eyes drift over the silent waters of the little lake. A profound sadness pierced her. She fought back tears as she tried to move Emily's bike without making any noise. As she grabbed her own bike, it was apparent that she had failed._

_"Twice?" Emily's voice shattered the calm silence. "You're gonna do this to me, twice?"_

_Naomi just continued moving away from her, her legs finally finding the strength to run., even if it was only at a walk She didn't even look back, hoping that if she ignored her, Emily would just go away. Of course it didn't work._

_"Naomi, no! You fucking stop right now!" The anger in Emily's voice made her hackles rise. Who the hell did she think she was, couldn't she see she needed to get away now?_

_"What?" She shot back at her with almost as much exasperation as Emily had in her voice, stopping._

_"Don't you dare leave me in your bed again." Emily was looking at her with pleading in her eyes, but Naomi couldn't stop now. Fear was pulsing through her._

_"I've got to go." She told Emily with a defeated voice. She had hoped Emily would understand, hoped that she would just let her run. She should have known that it was never going to be that easy. She turned and started walking again._

_"I know you Naomi." She heard Emily follow her as she spoke, and picked up her pace a little. "I know you're lonely. I think you need someone to want you." Each word was piercing Naomi down to her core. Making her insides squirm, but she didn't stop._

_"Well, I do want you." Emily's voice was cracking, Naomi's heart breaking with it. "So be brave! And want me back!" Naomi never slowed, never looked back. Her tears finally started spilling out. ***Flicker***_

Surprised, she found fresh tears in her eyes when the flicker lifted. The last words Emily spoke seemed to bounce off the trees around her. Wiping her eyes, she got on her bike and started peddling back towards the city, cursing at her own stupidity. If Emily ever told her she wanted her, in real life, she would make damn sure that she knew she was wanted back.

Still boiling with rage, she flew through the doors at home and stomped up the stairs. Luckily for anyone else, the bathroom wasn't taken. She stripped down and jumped in the shower, letting the water flow over her. It felt like it was washing away some of her anger and let her fears have more room to move.

She sank down to floor, still letting the water just run over her. What if this was it, the last flicker? Her tears started spilling of their own. She had given up so much of herself to let them in. They had changed her, made her stronger. Made her see it wouldn't make any sense to run from love. If she would ever find love that was.

She got dressed in a trance, trying to find peace in the simple act of buttoning up her shirt. Maybe she should go talk to her mother, she was slightly crazy, but usually had good advice. This was going to be hard to explain though, but she could try. With a newfound resolve, she made her way to her mothers bedroom door and knocked.

"Mum?" She pushed her head through the door, peaking in. "Mum, I need to talk to you." She followed her head the rest of the way in when she saw her mother sitting upright in bed. Suddenly a movement caught her eye, and her mouth flew open as a flustered Kieran stuck his head out from under the covers.

"Really mum? Really? This is my fucking house too, you know! Even when it's being overrun by a bunch of weirdoes and freaks I never said a word, but now you're fucking my teacher? MY TEACHER?" All her rage at herself, at her house being overtaken by complete strangers, at the flickers maybe being over, at not being able to see Emily in real life came spilling out of her. She turned and ran, she was vaguely aware of Kieran running after her. She ignored him.

She pulled up to college a few minutes later, still feeling like she could erupt at a moments notice. Deciding that it wasn't going to help much if she went through the roof in front of everyone she knew, she headed for her favourite smoking spot dragging out her cigarettes as she went along.

She cursed loudly when she figured out that her lighter wasn't in her pocket. A tiny flame suddenly appeared in front of her, she followed the arm up to a face and found Effy looking back at her. One of these days she would have to ask her how on earth she always seemed to find her when she needed something. She muttered a quick thanks, and took a grateful drag of her smoke. She felt some of the tension leave her.

"You're looking cheerful." Effy smirked as she lighted her own cigarette. Naomi just glared up at her, not answering the obvious taunt. Effy just sat down and closed her eyes, waiting for an explanation. She had to wait for almost as long as it took Naomi to finish her smoke before it came.

"I walked in on my mum and Kieran." Naomi finally said, not looking at Effy. Deciding that she could at least share some of what was bothering her. When all the answer she got was silence, she continued. "It's not that I don't want her to be happy, but…" She trailed off.

"You just wish it would be with someone else." Effy finished for her, once again proving herself to be all-knowing. Naomi grinned despite herself at the thought. She looked up and met the trademark "I can see right through you" Stonem stare.

"You really can read minds, can't you." She said, still staring in to the others eyes. Effy just grinned at her, flicking her smoke over the side of the railing. With a sigh, Naomi got up and started for the building.

"After all that shit with my dad, him coming back after mum told me he was dead, she has just sort of drifted. I tried helping her, but I gave up." Naomi sighed again, she had never really told anyone this. Effy remained silent as she continued.

"I never blamed her for lying to me, he was a scumbag. She was just trying to protect me. I was ecstatic when I found out he wasn't dead, picturing a happy "normal" family life." She sniffed at that last part.

"You don't have to tell me this. You know that, right?" Effy's soft voice held a note of sympathy, it only made Naomi shake her head.

"I know Ef, just let me finish." She drew a breath. "He was only there to get money out of my mum, he never really looked at me twice. She gave him all we had, and then some. I never understood why, but I figured that was what love did to you, make you weak and vulnerable. I was 11, I didn't know better." Naomi kept walking, Effy remained silent behind her.

"It was the last time I saw her truly happy. We moved here right after he left. I think the memories became too much for her, like even the city itself was tainted. I think I get how she feels. So maybe Kieran will be good for her. He's not such a bad guy really, a bit daft maybe, but I can see it going places."

They rounded the corner in the hallway, and came face to face with Katie. Naomi's eyes widened at the sight of her freshly coloured hair, it was darker and more purplish then the red she had sported. A part of her wondered if Emily still had red hair, and her face fell. She left them standing there as she excused herself and ran into an empty classroom. Desperate to get her head together. She ignored the questions that followed her from Katie, thankful that Effy seemed to divert the attention back to Katie's hair.

* * *

"If you can't tell your friends, and you can't tell your mother, why are you telling me?" Dr. Snipes broke through for the first time in ages. It made Naomi blink in confusion for a few seconds. She had been so far into her own story, that she had forgotten all about the man sitting across from her.

"I don't know." She said to him honestly. "Maybe it's because I feel you won't judge me, because you have no idea who or what I'm really talking about." She offered him a weak smile. "Besides." she said, shrugging. "I thought you wanted to know why I was on that roof, it's coming. I just need you to understand how I felt in the days, weeks and months leading up to it."

"Right, well then Ms. Campbell." He started, but Naomi cut him off.

"Call me Naomi. I think listening to me telling you about my flickers, specially these few last ones." She blushed faintly as she remembered that she had actually told him about the lake. "I think that entitles you to use my first name." He smiled slightly to her, letting her know, once again, that he was not there to judge.

"I think you might be right in that. Tell you what, I'll call you Naomi, if you would please call me Wes." He said with a twinkle in his eyes.

It took Naomi a few seconds to connect the two names. "Wes wouldn't stand for Wesley, would it?" She said, grinning at the irony that her new found confidant shared something more with her, then her story. He was smiling openly to her now.

"Yes, it would Naomi. But enough of that. Do you want to continue? I'm guessing we're still not quite at the rooftop yet?" He leaned back in his chair, his pen once again poised over his notebook. She wondered briefly if he had enough room for all his notes, and what they contained.

"No, we're not quite there yet. We're getting a lot closer though." She reached for her cigarette pack, opened it and checked the content. Only two more cigarettes left, she'd have to speed things up a bit. "I think we can make a slight jump, although those two days were very eventful. I ended up catching our headmistress trying to cheat Cook out of his win, I put her in her place and he was suddenly our newly elected student president." she chuckled at the memory of his face, and of everyone elses.

"Of course, he started a riot, and I helped. I was still a bit down and out, thinking that I might not have another flicker, but I should have known that it wasn't over. Should have felt it." She lit one of the last remaining cigarettes, and watched the smoke unfurl, filling the little room. Looking for the logical place to start again. Finding her place, she began retelling the last parts of her story.

* * *

**And there you have it, the return of Dr. Wesley Snipes :D (I did name him after the actor btw, although he looks nothing like him in my head. I was just looking for a name for him, and one of the Blade movies happened to be on tv...) And just because Naomi is retelling the last parts of her story til now, does not mean we're anywhere near done... **

**You guys should know the drill by now, leave me a comment on the way out. :D**


	11. Moments of weakness

**A/N: Right, sorry about the slight delay (it was supposed to be up about 12 hours, or so, ago.) But here we are now :D This one actually covers a lot of ground, go figure. I'm totally excited cause this mean I'm getting closer to the rooftop and closer to the chapter I've _really_ been itching to write (and already have about 1000 words on). Not giving anything away, other then it's gonna explain a few things ;)**

******This one is for n0rmal, who is living up to their name :P I want a nice long review out of you, you hear? :P**

**Anyways, hang on tight people, and bring your party-hats :D**

**Chapter 10: Moments of weakness**.

She was so relieved when she finally had another flicker that she hardly cared that she had run away in it again. It was still on her mind as she pushed her bike towards home. It had only lasted a few seconds, but it was still the best thing that had happened to her all day. She leant the bike against the fence, and went in to the house. The first thing that hit her was the silence. It was un-nerving, in all her years living in the house it had never been this quiet.

"Mum?" Her voice actually echoed through the house. It had never done that before. "Mum? Are you here?"

"Naomi, love? Is that you?" She rolled her eyes at the question, but followed her mothers voice into the kitchen. "Ah, there you are, love. Do you want some tea? I'll pop the kettle on." Her mother just started busying herself with the kettle without waiting for a response.

Naomi shuffled fully into the kitchen, and sat down on one of the chairs. She knew she should tell her mother what was going on, but she wasn't sure she could find the words "Mum?" she started hesitantly.

"Yes, love? Is this about Kieran? Cause he just rang me and said he spoke to you earlier. How nice of you to give him your permission to date me." And people wondered where she had learned to be sarcastic. She rolled her eyes. It was said with an amused twinkle in her eyes though, so Naomi figured that she wasn't really that mad at her.

"No mum, but I am happy for you. I was just wondering…" She wondered how she should phrase the next few sentences. Making a snap decision, she took a deep breath and continued. "Erm… Have you ever been in love with someone who's not… Erm… Not available?" She could have kicked herself at the clumsy way she had asked. She closed her eyes for a second, before looking up and meeting her mothers kind, but confused eyes.

"Not available? As in involved with someone else, or? I think I'm gonna need a bit more information then that Naomi." Her mother frowned at her slightly, trying to make sense of her question.

"No, not involved with someone else." Jesus, she hoped Emily wasn't involved with anyone. Her insides boiled with jealousy at the thought, and it took her a second to get them under control. "Just not… Not living here." She trailed off again, and sighed, before muttering. "It should have all been different." She slumped down and put her head in her hands.

"You know, darling." Her mother said thoughtfully. "I had the same exact feeling the other day. I was sitting in the kitchen and all of the sudden I was sure that it was all meant to be different. I totally forgot the point I was trying to make about Styrofoam cups. I felt like I was supposed to talk about something entirely different. You, in fact."

Naomi's head snapped up at her mothers words. Her mother just smiled and placed a steaming cup in front of her. "Me?" She said incredulously. "Why would you be talking about…" Her mind started racing back to one of her flickers the other day.

_***Flicker*** "Well." She heard behind her "I met your mum" ***Flicker***_

Her eyes widened slightly, her mother couldn't have possibly. Could she? She cleared her throat. "Well, anyways." She brushed the ridiculous thought aside. "Have you ever felt something like that? Like you loved someone unavailable?"

Her mother regarded her a moment before speaking. "I actually never wanted you. I was really angry when I found out I was pregnant." She held up a hand when Naomi showed signs of protesting. "But, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You made my life complete. And rather fucking wonderful too" A fond smile graced her mothers features all of a sudden.

"Did I?" Naomi asked with a touch of awe.

"You sure did, love." Her mother was still smiling at her. "The point I'm trying to make is that when you find someone. The one you don't expect to make you happy, they never are the ones you expect, you have got to cherish it."

"And what if they're not there to cherish." Naomi added quietly, dropping her eyes to the mug in front of her.

"Then you look for something, or someone, to occupy you while you wait." It was stated as a matter of fact and made Naomi blink. "Now, are you going out tonight? Cause Kieran is coming over and I thought we'd take advantage of me kicking out all our lodgers." Her mothers rapid change of topic threw her a bit, but she just nodded.

"I'll leave you to it then. Enjoy your tea, love." Her mother kissed her on the head as she made her way out the door and up the stairs. She left Naomi feeling a bit dazed. Her phone went off in her pocket, making her spill some of the tea from the cup she was clutching.

"Oh, for fucks sake." She grumbled, setting her cup carefully back down on the now soaking table. Her frown turned into a grin when she saw who the text was from. Just what she needed right now. She glanced at her watch and calculated she had three hours to get ready. Perfect.

Two and a half hours later, she found herself freshly showered and dressed up, standing outside Katie's house. She was supposed to pick her up before meeting the rest of the gang at Keith's to start things off. She looked up at the looming building, and started down the pathway to the door. Her hand was raised, ready to hit the doorbell, when it found her.

***Flicker*** _"I do want someone." She was sitting outside, talking to Emily through the door. "Need someone. You're right." She tried to keep her voice from breaking, but it was hard._

_"And?" Came the choked answer through the door._

_"And… When I'm with you, I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier." Her voice was really cracking now, but she didn't care. Somehow it was easier talking to Emily through the door. She didn't have to face the accusation she was sure was going to be in her eyes. This was something she needed to say. "Less… Alone. Less lonely."_

_She heard a muffled sob, before a hand came through the cat-flap. It sought hers, and Naomi gripped it gratefully. Feeling a surge of strength flow through her from Emily. She wondered briefly how she did it, before pulling herself together and continuing._

_"But it's not as simple as that, is it? Being with someone." She gripped the hand a bit harder, willing the other to understand._

_"Isn't it?" Apparently Emily didn't understand where she was coming from, but Naomi would make her see. She had to make her understand that she couldn't do this. That Emily was the one that was brave, and strong. Not her._

_"No." She sobbed, sniffling pathetically before adding a sheepish "I don't know." She shook her head slightly. "I mean, I don't think so." She felt so weak, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I mean… Can't we just sit like this? For a bit?" She bit her lips, and held her breath, waiting for the answer. She gripped the hand with both her own, hoping. Waiting._

_"Yeah. We can…" Naomi let out a silent breath of thanks and leaned her head to the door in relief. "For a bit." ***Flicker***_

She stared numbly at the cat-flap, hand still raised, finger pointing to the doorbell. She almost jumped out of her own skin as a voice suddenly rang in her ears.

"Good! Now the next step is actually pushing it." Naomi spun around and came face to face with Effy. She blushed slightly. Shaking her head, she composed a reply, but before she could utter a word, Effy smirked, leaned passed her and rang the doorbell. "Like that. See?"

"Piss off Stonem." Naomi just said, grinning back at her. No other words were needed.

They stood waiting for a reply for a good two minutes, ringing the bell multiple times, before Katie finally stuck her head through a window above them. "Keep your fucking knickers on, I was in the fucking shower. Just let yourselves in, the door should be open." And then she popped back in.

Naomi raised an eyebrow at Effy and stared at the cat-flap for a second. Effy brushed passed her and opened the door. Weirdly enough, none of them took the first step to actually enter the house. Naomi looked at Effy again, and saw a fleeting emotion. She couldn't quite place it, trepidation maybe? She knew why she was a bit hesitant to enter, but why would Effy be? Before she could ask however, the moment seemed to pass from the other girl, and she entered the house, motioning to Naomi to follow.

"Fine, I won't ask." She muttered to herself, and amazingly enough Effy looked back at her with something like a grateful look in her eyes. The girl really was a mystery sometimes. She threw the cat-flap one last look, and followed her in.

Katie took ages to get ready, of course. So they were quite late by the time they reached Keith's. Cook threw his hands in the air and howled when he saw them. "Finally!" He shot an approving look over them all, before turning towards the bar and screamed "We need 10 shots of TEEEEEEQUILA!" The barmaid just grinned and waved for him to sit down. He gave her one of his trademark grins back, making Naomi laugh. Katie made a face, but went to sit down at the table. The whole gang was there, except for Thomas.

"Panda? Where's Thomas?" She asked, squeezing herself down between JJ and Freddie.

Panda practically started bouncing in her seat. "He's got a new job!" She squealed. "Such a blinkin' dream job too. He's getting us into the club later, some hot shot promoter saw him and his mad skills when we went to that underground rave a few weeks back?" The last part sounded more like a question. Naomi had to grin at the blonde, she really did love her. Even if she was a bit bonkers.

The night progressed with more then a fair share of tequila shots, beer and drinks going around. Cook was dancing on a table, trying to drag a disgusted, but amused, Katie up to him. Naomi was locked in an animated conversation with JJ about fighter planes of all things, with the occasional comment thrown in by Freddie. He was too busy staring at Effy to really pay any attention anyways.

Effy in turn was laughing at Katie's wild protests, and looked utterly relaxed, it was a good look on her. Naomi excused herself, leaving JJ to turn to Panda and continue ranting about some figurine he was building, Panda took it all in a stride and jumped right in. Naomi shook her head at it all, grinning to herself as she made her way to the bathroom.

Her face fell as she entered the bathroom, the truth was that it was all a front. She couldn't get the last flicker out of her head, or her mothers words. She felt lonely. She looked at herself in the mirror, wiping some of the excess make-up away from under her eyes. She desperately wished that Emily was there with them.

"And what would you have done if she was?" She asked her reflection. "Stare at her, not speaking to her? Make an utter fool of yourself to try and impress her? You don't even know if she likes you. Or if she even knows who you are." Her own blue eyes was looking back at her with accusations in them. She sighed.

The door burst open. "Come on lezzer, Cook says it's time to go." A grinning Katie stuck her head in, and motioned her to follow. Naomi quickly put on a mask of happiness and followed her out the door. Feeling more lonely then before, as she watched the wrong twin make her way through the tables.

Cook grabbed her as soon as he saw her. "Ready for our little deal? You, me and some hot ladies?" He was grinning his trademark Cook-grin and squeezing her in a one armed hug. She found herself grinning back, thinking it was exactly what she needed. A bit of fun.

She found herself in a really cool club minutes later, being pointed in the direction of a blonde who looked like she had forgotten to put on actual clothes, and just opted for underwear instead. She groaned to herself, but a deal was a deal she supposed. "Go see what you can do, Blondie." Cook had shot at her, before disappearing towards the bar, yelling "I'll go get us some drinks." back at her.

She started towards the blonde, thinking up several ways to start the conversation. She had no idea how to do this, but was just drunk enough to give the whole mess a go. She stopped right behind the woman, and drew a deep breath. "Right, here goes nothing." She muttered to herself before leaning in to tap the woman on her shoulder.

"Yes? Can I help you with something?" The reply came in one of those superior tones that Naomi couldn't really stand. She quickly hid her distaste and shot her a smile. A plan formed instantly in her head, her smile deepened .

"My mate over there." She pointed at Cook, and watched as the woman stared at him with interest. Maybe this wasn't going to be as hard as she had feared. "He said he wanted to fuck you senseless out back later." She almost laughed out loud as the blonde's eyes widened to the size of teacups. "I said he was being daft, and that he was far out of your league. He seemed to agree after a second look." The woman stood up a bit straighter, and shot daggers at Naomi.

"And what makes you think I'm out of his league?" Her tone was icy, and if looks could kill, Naomi would've been dead on the spot. Naomi fought down the urge to laugh again, and settled her face into a smirk instead.

"Because he used to go out with her." Naomi simply replied, and pointed at Effy. Guys were practically salivating all around her, but she was busy trying to get Katie to join her at the dance floor and was ignoring all of them. The blonde's eyes narrowed, and watched as Effy turned a guy down with a flick of her head and not much else. Naomi left her staring at Effy, and went to find Cook at the bar.

"How'd it go?" Cook wasted no time in asking, when she finally found him. He pushed a drink into her hands, beaming at her. She took the drink from him and downed half of it in one go, before shouting back her reply over the thumping of the bass.

He left her with a grin and made his way onto the rapidly filling dance floor, pointedly ignoring the blonde he'd had his eyes on when he arrived. She had to hand it to him, he caught on quick. Before he was halfway there he turned, and caught her eye, before indicating at a tall girl with her back turned to Naomi. She ignored him with a headshake, and drank the rest of her drink. She turned and went back to the bar, intending to get another one.

"I haven't seen you around here before." Someone was leaning in, invading her space. She contemplated telling them to piss off, but against her better judgement she turned and looked straight into the eyes of the tall girl Cook had indicated at. She felt an instant dislike towards the girl.

"That the best you could come up with?" She tried sneering at the girl. She ended up having to repeat herself over the loud music three times, before the other heard her. The other girl replied something with a cheeky grin, but Naomi was ignoring her. She was so tall it was ridiculous, how anyone could be attracted to this giant was beyond her.

Her mind drifted to Emily, and how perfect and small she was. Her insides clenched at a sudden image of the girl standing next to her and Emily together. The other girl was oblivious to the battle in Naomi's head to banish the image, it just wouldn't go away. She made a noncommittal sound at something she was asked, apparently it was the wrong thing to do, cause the girl persisted.

"I'm Mandy, what's your name?" She heard her scream over the music.

"I'm not interested!" She screamed back, before desperately looking around for someone, anyone, she knew. She drew a blank. Mandy didn't seem to want to take no for an answer. Stupid oaf. Naomi turned and tried leaving the bar. Mandy followed her. Groaning, Naomi made a mental note to kill Cook when she saw him next.

She managed to lose Mandy somewhere on the dance floor, and went outside for a smoke. She breathed in the cold night air, feeling some of the tension leave her. She rounded the corner into the alleyway and found her cigarettes in her purse. Placing one between her lips, she started looking through her purse for a lighter. She cursed the stupidity of the damn bag, she had never been a fan of purses, when she came up empty.

She was just about to give up when she felt a hesitant tap on her shoulder. "I… erm… think you lost this when you took out your smokes?" Naomi looked up and straight into the eyes of the girl Effy had dubbed her biggest fan. She was shuffling her feet, holding out a lighter, she looked a bit lost and out of place. The contrast to Mandy's presumptuous attitude was striking.

"Thanks." Naomi said, flashing a quick smile at the girl, taking the lighter from her. She was rewarded with a smile in return. "I've seen you around college, haven't I?" She asked casually, already knowing the answer. The girl intrigued her slightly, maybe she'd finally figure out why she was always around. Why Effy was sure there was something there.

"Yeah." The girl nervously tucked an escaping curl behind her ear. "I'm Sophia." A sense of familiarity washed over Naomi, but was gone before she could figure out what it was.

She lit her cigarette and took a drag, before answering. "I'm Naomi. Thanks for this, again." She waved her lighter at the girl, who were now beaming at her.

"I know. I mean… I know who you are." Sophia blushed slightly. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while now." Naomi raised an eyebrow at the statement. Sophia blushed even harder at that.

Naomi looked at the girl, really looked at her. A pang of loneliness shot through her, she made a split second decision not to interfere if this girl showed any interest in her. "Why?" She heard herself ask, frowning slightly at her.

"I don't know." The other girl answered truthfully. "Because you look as if you have lost something. Because you seem like a real person, compared to all the others around here." At that point, the doors opened and Mandy came striding out of the club.

"Fucking great!" Naomi exclaimed when Mandy spotted her and walked towards her. She looked in desperation at Sophia, who was now looking decidedly confused.

"Just play along." Naomi said to her with a frantic note in her voice. To her relief Sophia nodded. Without waiting for Mandy to reach them, Naomi grabbed Sophia and kissed her.

She felt Sophia stiffen, before melting into the kiss, deepening it. Naomi felt numb, it was all wrong. No sparks, just lips and tongue moving against the others. Her eyes was still open and she caught herself staring at the bricks behind Sophia. Counting them, noting the phone number written on a spot right next to Sophia's ear. This wasn't what she wanted, she felt Sophia's hands move across her back. It was all so wrong.

The offending hands were moving somewhere along the hem of Naomi's top, searching for skin, she realized. Naomi started panicking, pushing her hands against Sophia to make her stop. They finally broke apart, and Naomi couldn't stop the sigh of relief escaping her. The other girl was looking at her with unveiled lust and adoration in her eyes, her arms still snaked around Naomi. Naomi looked away from her and saw that Mandy was no longer in sight.

"I've been wanting to do that too for a while now." Sophia's voice was low, raspy. Naomi didn't like it, she had to get away from it. Shaking her head, she didn't look at the other girl. She tried prying the arms away from her, to get out from what felt like a suffocating grip on her. She felt physically ill, like she was about to throw up. The hands still held her firmly.

"I can't do this. I just can't…" She whispered, doubling her efforts to get the other to let go. "Oh Christ, what have I done? Emily, I'm sorry!" She shouted, finally making the other girl loose her grip. She felt like someone had taken her heart and was strangling it. Squeezing all the life out of it. She turned away from a shocked and hurt looking Sophia, and without another glance, ran.

Naomi ran until she couldn't run anymore, and emptied her stomach all over the pavement in front of her. She sank down against the lamppost next to her, feeling cold and empty. Numbness spread through her. "So this is what cheating would feel like." She mumbled to herself. If it was, it was nothing she would ever want to feel again. It was awful.

The absurdity of it all hit her suddenly and she started laughing. She was actually feeling like she was cheating on a person she had hardly met, a person she'd had one whole conversation with. The laugh held no mirth, no warmth, she was only laughing because it seemed like the right thing to do.

Somehow she found her way back home. She didn't bother taking off her clothes as she fell down on her bed. She just laid there, staring at the ceiling until the sun came up. When she heard her mother starting to move around in the kitchen below, she got up and went to the bathroom. Mechanically, she started brushing her teeth. When she was done, she stripped down and went through the motions of cleaning herself up, throwing on some jeans and a hoodie when she was done.

In a trance, she walked out the door, and started aimlessly roaming the streets. Her mind was blank, refusing to touch on the stuff she knew she had to at some point. Her legs carried her all around Bristol, flashes of red surrounded her wherever she went. She found no comfort in it.

The sun was setting when she finally stopped, sitting down on a bench in a random park. She finally lifted her eyes from the ground and looked up to try to judge where she was. Another flash of red, caught her attention.

_***Flicker*** Emily was laughing at her, looking radiant in the setting sun. Her hair danced around her as she ran, it looked like it was on fire. Naomi ran after her trying to catch her, laughing just as much as the other girl. A feeling of warmth was spreading through her, and she felt like she could do anything, be anything._

_She finally caught up to Emily, dragging her squealing down on the ground._

_"You're mine now." Naomi said in triumph, pinning the girl down, trying to keep her still. Emily stopped squirming when she heard the words, and stared up with love shining out of her. Naomi stared at her in wonder. Her heart beating frantically in her chest._

_"I've always been yours." Came the husky reply. It was barely above a whisper, but Naomi had no trouble hearing her. ***Flicker***_

Naomi felt a bit better after that, and leaned back on the bench, closing her eyes for a second. She still felt confused. Sighing, she got up and started walking back towards her house. She was halfway there, when she felt another flicker sneaking up on her. She stopped, waiting for whatever it would be this time.

_***Flicker*** "You keep saying you want to talk about it! So let's fucking talk about it!" Emily was shaking with rage, glaring at Naomi. "How was she? Did she make you come? Did you FUCK her in OUR bed?" Naomi shrank away from the onslaught, from the naked anger in her girlfriend's eyes. From what looked like hate in those beautiful eyes._

_"I'll answer all the questions you want, Ems, when we get home." She said pleadingly, trying to make her calm down. It wasn't because she didn't want to answer, but she didn't think the middle of the street was the place for this. Emily just sniffed, and stalked away from her. ***Flicker***_

She couldn't make any sense of it. One minute everything was fine, the next Emily had been screaming at her. She barely noticed her surroundings as she kept walking blindly back home. Night fell around her as she walked. It felt like she had disrupted some sort of balance somehow, that things had suddenly become complicated, and the only reason she could think of was Sophia.

***Cue dramatic music***

**Am I the only one who actually felt a bit sorry for the actress who played Giant-Not-Naomi? I mean I'm treating Mandy as a freaking parody in this, but...**

**Anyways, here we are, things beginning to unravel slightly for poor Naoms... I feel I might have to make this a bit less insane, but I'm having waaaay too much fun at the moment... Lol :D**

**Leave me a thought, a whisper, a comment or a review after the beep... Please?**


	12. Silence

**A/N: Just lining up all my duckies... Look at them, almost all in a row now :D *grins* **

**For Noblsheep for daring to publish, and for Es for trying something new. I'm proud of you two :D**

**Oh, and I just realized I haven't put a disclaimer in... So just in case there ever was any doubt, I do NOT own Skins. I'm just making them all go crazy... :D**

**Chapter 11: Silent questions.**

The feeling of imbalance follow her through the next weeks. Everywhere she goes, something sets off the flickers. Some of them are horrible, making her feel like she should never go out in public again. Others again are so sweet she wants to stay in them forever. Her mood is all over the place as a result. Dreams of running after Emily, never catching up, doesn't help much. They wake her up every time, making it impossible to go back to sleep.

Holding back a yawn, she lights her cigarette. It had been one of those nights again. She had spent most of it dreaming she was following Emily up stairs, that never seemed to end, only to wake up at 4 am. covered in sweat. Not being able to get back to sleep, she had gotten up and gone out for a walk before college.

"You're here early." She heard a familiar voice behind her say. She froze for a second, cigarette halfway to her mouth. It was a voice she had foolishly hoped to never hear again.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep." She said, not looking at the other person. She knew she had to at some point, but it was just easier not to at the moment. She took a deep drag, feeling the nicotine soothingly flow through her. It calmed her a bit, made her ready to finally face what was about to come.

"I'm starting a new school tomorrow." Her eyes snap up and finds Sophia not looking at her. She still looks lost, before Naomi can say something, the other girl continues. "It has nothing to do with you." The lie is obvious, but Naomi doesn't comment on it.

"Why are you telling me this?" Sophia turns to face her, a weak smile on her lips.

"Because I thought you should know. So you can stop running around, afraid to bump into me." Naomi breaks their eye contact at this, not knowing how to reply. Sophia just kept on talking. "Whoever Emily is, you should tell her." She left Naomi sitting there, feeling numb again.

Tell Emily. That's the problem, how was she supposed to do that? Sighing, she got up and walked into the school, not really paying attention as it settles on her for the third time that morning. It's getting so common now that she hardly bothers to pause.

_***Flicker*** "Can't we just leave it?" She was standing at the bottom of a staircase, looking up at Emily. Brown eyes filled with confusion and hurt is staring back at her._

_"I don't think we can Naoms." The finality of her words was ringing through the empty club, and Naomi can feel her heart sinking. ***Flicker***_

She stumbled as she came out of it. It wasn't the first time these last few weeks that the flicker didn't match the surroundings, but the stairs they had been on was the same as the ones she had spent all night running up. She needed to find them, she could sense it was important that she did. Her mind was still whirring by the time she went to class.

Effy was leaning against the lockers next to her. "Come on Naomi, come out with Panda, Katie and me. Girls night out?" Naomi shot her a contemptuous look.

"Since when do Effy Stonem do girls night out? Did something heavy fall on your head this morning?" It really wasn't like Effy at all. It sounded more like something…

"Seriously, lezzer." Katie rudely interrupted her train of thought. "You've been moping around for weeks, being a right cow." Naomi looked from a amused looking Effy to Katie. She was standing with her hands on her hips, and had no-nonsense look on her face.

"I wouldn't normally have noticed, but Effy keeps whining about it. It's starting to piss me off." Naomi hid a grin as she watched Katie's words make Effy's face fall into a grimace. "Not that I care much what she thinks." An oblivious Katie continued. "So, are you coming or what?"

"Fine." Naomi said, throwing her hands up. "I'll come, but can we make it a girls night in?"

"Urgh, you're so annoying." Naomi raised an eyebrow at Katie's outburst. "Oh, whatever. Just as long as it's not a repeat of that horrible pyjama party Panda threw. We're getting drunk, you hear me?" Naomi just rolled her eyes. "Tomorrow, my house. I'll throw my dad and pervy little brother out." Katie strutted away from them, not bothering to wait for the answer.

"Jesus! What was that all about?" Naomi asked the remaining girl, not really expecting an answer.

Effy shrugged and surprised her by saying. "Her way of helping I suppose. You've been looking more and more like a train wreck these last few weeks. Even Cook's commented on it."

"Well, isn't that just peachy. Just what a girl wants to be compared to." Naomi shot back at her, sarcasm dripping from every word. Effy just grinned one of those infuriating grins of hers and left her there. Ah well, she supposed getting drunk wouldn't be so bad really. A smile crept up her face as she turned to walk to her next class.

_***Flicker*** She could feel the individual hairs on her neck trying to stand as Emily leaned in closer to her. Time seemed to slow down, to not matter. She tried making herself snap out of it, but she couldn't quite see the point. Every sense was invaded by red, and she had trouble forming any thoughts other then a single word._

_Emily._

_The word held all she had ever wanted, all her greatest fears. It made her heart burst, made it feel like it was exploding with an unknown feeling. She had trouble containing it, and wasn't sure she wanted to anymore._

_Transfixed, she watched as Emily's lips moved. A tongue darting out to moisten a pair of lips. She was vaguely aware of a husky voice saying something, explaining something. Brown eyes met her own with an amused stare. She watched as the amusement died, being replaced by something that should have scared her to death. She swallowed. ***Flicker***_

Stupefied, she stood frozen in the middle of the deserted corridor. Eyes fixed blindly on a poster in front of her. Parts of her wanted to scream in frustration, other parts wanted to break down. Wanted to cry until there was no tears left. She was oblivious to the silent tears already making their way down her cheeks. A warm hand engulfed her own, and led her gently down the hall and out into the brilliant sunshine.

She was vaguely aware of being pushed gently down, and leaned heavily on the tree trunk that suddenly appeared behind her back. A lit cigarette being pushed into her hands. Her eyes closed of their own, as her hands moved on their own, bringing it up to her lips. An arm found it's way around her shoulders, and pulled her towards a warm body. It felt nice. They sat like that for what seemed like hours.

She finally shifted, and looked up at Cook who seemed to be in a world of his own. He looked as lonely as she felt, and her heart went out to him. "How did we end up here?" She found herself asking, her voice hoarse. He blinked at her a couple of times, considering how to answer her question. She wasn't sure how she had meant it.

"You looked like you needed some air." He squeezed her to himself in a comforting manner, his face serious for once. "So I thought I'd, you know, help." He kissed the top of her head. They fell into silence again. She closed her eyes and leaned against him.

"Feeling better, Blondie?" Cook said after a while, rubbing her shoulder gently. No questions about why, no question about what had caused it all. Just a silent reassurance that he was there.

"Yeah, thanks." She smiled up at him. And caught him smiling back. "You're a lot nicer then most people think, aren't you Cook?" She kissed his cheek, watching as it turned a slight tinged red.

"Fuck you, Naomikins. I only did it so I could grope ya." His face was beaming though, betraying the front he was so good at putting up. "Anyways, times are wasting. Fancy a pint?" He stood up, looking expectantly down at her.

"Sure, why the hell not?" She said with a grin, she missed his warmth. "And fuck you right back." He tilted his head back and laughed before extending a hand, pulling her to her feet.

Naomi was pleasantly buzzed by the time she got home. They had spent the last few hours talking about nothing, sharing a pitcher of beer. It was just what she needed to get her mind off things. She grins to herself as she fumbles with the door, the smile turns to a frown as it turns out to be locked. Since when did her mother lock the bloody door?

Finally managing to get the fucking door open, she stands in the hallway, listening for sounds. Nothing. "Mum? You here?" She tries, but no one answers. She makes her way into the kitchen, and spots a note on the kitchen table.

Gone out for an hour or so. Will be back around 5.  
Have gone house hunting, this house is too bloody big.  
Will take you with me and show you what I find.  
Dinner's in the oven.

Love mum.

House hunting? She stared at the note again. It definitely said that. She didn't quite know how to feel about that. This house had become home, and even more so after her mother had kicked out all their "lodgers". She shuffled up to her room and laid down on the bed. Looking around the room, she felt a wave of sadness sweep over her, she didn't really want to move.

Suddenly remembering that she had forgotten her phone when she left that morning. Or more like in the middle of the bloody night. She huffed at the thought. She rose and started looking for it. Finding it under a pile of discarded clothes on the floor, she turned it over and checked it. 7 missed calls, one voicemail and a text. Her eyes widened at who had called her, and quickly rang her voicemail to check if it was all some sort of mistake.

"Oh, for fucks sake. Have you ever heard of picking up the sodding phone, lezzer? God, I hate bloody voicemail." Katie's voice was booming out of her phone, making her jump. "Anyways, Effy says I have to call you or she won't drive me, bloody blackmail is what it is." She could hear Effy chuckle in the background, and a muttered curse from Katie. "Yeah, so something has come up and I have to go to London for a few nights. So tomorrow night is off. Sorry." The phone clicked, and Naomi stared at it a bit dumbfounded.

Remembering there was a text too, she opened it. It was Effy apologizing for Katie's rude message, and saying she was going with her for the few days, something about moral support. Naomi frowned at her phone. What the hell was going on between those two? She didn't have a chance to speculate as the shrill voice of her mother suddenly rang up the stairs.

"Naomi, love? Are you home? Come down here please, I want to show you something." Naomi sighed, and got out of her room. A happy looking Gina met her at the bottom of the stairs. "Come on then." She indicated at the door. "Put your shoes on, dear, and close your mouth. You'll swallow a fly if you keep gaping like that."

Her mother dragged her through the streets of Bristol, happily chatting about a house she had found. "Of course, there's a bit of an overlap, so you can stay at the house out the school year, while I set up everything here. I think you'll love it, dear." Naomi almost walked into Gina when she suddenly stopped. "Isn't it lovely?"

A blue door was all she had time to register, before she was being dragged inside.

_***Flicker***_ "_What's all this?" Naomi looked at her girlfriend, struggling to keep a grin off her face at the way the little red head seemed to be fuming. She would never admit it, but a pissed off Emily never failed to make her grin. Just as long as it wasn't aimed at her, that was. Besides seeing her loaded down with rucksacks and bags was just adorable._

_"I'm moving in." Emily pushed passed her._

_"Where?" Naomi asked in confusion, she really should learn to pay better attention._

_"Here." Emily stated. Some of Naomi's old fears seemed to be rearing their head somewhere deep in her stomach._

_"Umm… " She followed Emily in, closing the door behind her. "Isn't this the sort of thing people usually discuss?" She tries battling the tiny spec of fear back down, but has next to no luck._

_"I need to, ok?" She watched as Emily's face fell a little, and felt a twinge of guilt rise in her._

_"Ok." She heard herself say before she had a chance to think it through._

_"Ok?" Emily asks, giving her a way out. Her face is so hopeful, mixed with a little fear. Her heart does a flip, looking into those eyes. They always had this power over her. She suddenly feels an overwhelming need to make Emily feel better._

_"Ok. Although in many ways, it's sort of a violation…" She feels a smile tug at the corner of her lips, and gives into it. "But fuck it. It's ok."_

_"Really?" It's what Naomi loves the most about Emily, she always gives her a way out, but right now it's just really annoying. Emily's eyes are searching hers, looking for confirmation._

_"Really! It'll be great. You can be my pyjamas." She's rewarded with a dazzling smile and a kiss. All her fears seems to die down on their own. She's not fooled though, she knows it's because of this gorgeous creature standing in front of her, looking at her with eyes so full of love that she can actually feel it in her bones. ***Flicker***_

"You alright, love? You look like you've seen a ghost. Do you not like it?" Her mother's worried face swam into view. Concern etched onto her face. Naomi shook her head, trying to clear it.

Finally finding her voice, she manages to get the words out. "No mum, it's fucking perfect." She grins weakly back at her now beaming mother. They spend the rest of the evening planning how to decorate their new house, Naomi's head isn't really in it and she's pretty sure she's just agreed to some sort of insane colour scheme. Ah well, plenty of time to change that later, right now she feels exhausted. Relieved that she doesn't have to go anywhere the next day, she falls asleep.

The pattern of only sleeping a few hours before her nightmares makes her wake up, this time screaming Emily's name so loud she's sure she's woken up the neighbours too, repeats itself. Glad her mother chose to spend the night at Kieran's so she hasn't got to answer any awkward questions, she makes her way down to the kitchen. It's still dark out.

She doesn't know how long she's been sitting there, just trying to sort through all she knows and don't know, but the phone ringing brings her out of it. She stares at it for a few seconds, before answering with a dull greeting. The sun shines softly through the kitchen window, she doesn't know how long it's been up, finds that she doesn't care. She listens as Panda rambles on about Thomas for several minutes, not really hearing a word.

"…so Effy said I should take you with me when I meet Thommo laters, it'll be whizzer, he's working at this bonkers new club downtown, and we're gonna have a right laugh getting in, cause he's working the door early." It snaps her out of her gloom, Panda hasn't slowed down and continue rambling on about the club. At least Naomi thinks she is, all she hears is a bunch of stuff she's nearly sure is words.

"Hang on Panda. Effy told you what?" Naomi intervened, trying to make sense of the string of words.

"She said not to take no for an answer and just make you come." There's suddenly a high-pitched squeal on the other end. "Got to go Naoms, Thommo and me are gonna make monkey, you know surf and turf? I'll text you the address of the club. See you later, yeah?" Naomi feels like a whirlwind has hit her as the other blonde hangs up.

Against her better judgement, she finds herself outside another ridiculously popular club that evening. She's tried telling herself it wouldn't matter if she came or not, but the thought of being alone isn't very pleasant at the moment. Besides, she feels the need to get really, really drunk.

**There you have it, chapter 11 (12 if you count the prologue). Not too happy with the ending, but we're getting there. **

**Oh, and the flickers are a bit random at this point... Just in case you all were wondering. All part of the plan. Lol...**

**Leave me a review please, they really do make my day :D**


	13. Crumbling pieces

**A/N: You know what's really nice? Writing a chapter you're not sure of, publishing it, and then get the best feedback ever on it. So thank you to all those who have reviewed, you really do blow me away sometimes *blushes***

***Ahem* Still lining up some duckies that seem to have escaped me, but I think this one puts them all in line *grins while cracking a whip over the duckies heads* And they better well stay there if they know what's good for them!**

**Erm... right... on with the story then, enjoy! :D**

**Chapter 12: Crumbling pieces**.

The bass was pumping, vibrating somewhere deep within her. Her hands was in the air and her body moving on its own. Somewhere to her right, Panda was making a hole in the otherwise packed dance floor, her movements wild. Naomi grinned at her, receiving a smile back, before the other blonde resumed her flailing about, knocking a few people who were dumb enough to get too close, out cold. It didn't seem to even slow Panda down, but Naomi threw her head back and laughed.

That gnawing feeling of recognition fell over her again, but she ignored it by taking another swig of the bottle in her hand. The alcohol burned its way down her throat, wiping away the feeling completely. Clearly there were some perks with having friends working in a club, the bottle in her hand was just one of them, the fact that it had taken her two minutes to get in, another.

She started dancing again, and was quickly joined by someone. She didn't know who the guy was and she found that she really didn't care. He was trying to get her attention, shouting something at her, smiling in what he clearly thought was a sexy way. She just rolled her eyes at him and turned away, opening up some space. It was taken over in seconds by the next hopeful fool, a girl this time. She ignored her, she was only here to get drunk.

Sweat covered her when someone started tugging at her arm, she had been dancing for what seemed like hours. She whipped her head around, prepared to shoot the next one down, and was stunned when she looked into a pair of smoky blue eyes. She stumbled after as the other turned and made their way to the edge of the dance floor, giggling slightly at her own inability to walk straight. She was more or less dragged outside at this point, having latched on to an arm to try and stop herself from falling.

"Effy!" She shouted in a delighted voice, as the door behind them closed, trapping some of the deafening noise of the music inside. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She enveloped the other in a hug, not noticing that she wasn't being hugged back.

"Do you mind letting go?" Came a strangled voice. "Slight trouble breathing here."

"Oh shit, sorry Eff." She giggled again as she stumbled away from the other girl. "Jesus, I feel like Bambi on the fucking ice." She waved the bottle around, slurring her words. "Where's Katie? She not here? You two are always together these days, and to be honest I have no clue what the fuck is going on between you." She punctuated the last statement with a loud hiccup and looked expectantly at Effy, while fishing in her pockets for her cigarettes.

"Jesus, how much have you had to drink? You can hardly stand." Effy was looking at her, watching as she tried to get the damn lighter to work. Clearly there was something wrong with it. "Oi! Pay attention!"

Effy's words made her eyes snap up from the obviously faulty lighter and she stared at her. There was something she was supposed to be answering. Ah yes, she grinned weakly, waving the bottle in the others direction. "About this much." The remaining liquor sloshed in the bottle, there was hardly anything left.

"Right that's it." Effy took the lighter from her and the tiny flame that suddenly sprang up made her brow furrow. She jabbed the cigarette in the general direction of the little flame, and was pleased to find that she hit it on the first try. "I'm taking you home."

"I don't wanna." She tried a pout, but ruined it all by her lips twitching into a smile. "Besides, I'm not going anywhere til you tell me what the hell you're doing here." She stubbornly crossed her arms, and tried to lean against the wall, nearly falling over in the process.

"Fine!" Effy threw her hands up. "I came back because I was supposed to stay with my brother, I told you about him right? Tony?" Naomi nodded, vaguely remembering talking about him once. She wished the wall wouldn't move so much. "Well, he was busy shagging some random chick, and he only has one room. One night of that was enough." Effy shrugged.

Something about that bothered Naomi, it took her a few seconds to find out what. "Couldn't you stay with Katie?"

"Didn't want to crash the reunion." She had a faraway look in her eyes, she shook her head and seemed to snap out of it. "But enough of that. I'm taking your drunk ass home." Before Naomi had a chance to object or ask any more questions, Effy had grabbed her wrist and dragged her into a cab. She had no idea where it came from. She watched from the backseat as the club disappeared from view, still feeling a sense of recognition in the back of her head.

How Effy got her into her house, up her stairs, out of her clothes and into bed, was beyond her. It didn't change the fact that she was now safely tucked up, feeling it sway as if it was on a boat, in her bed. Effy was still there, sitting quietly in a chair in the dark.

"You know." Naomi slurred "You're not as other people think you are either. Just like Cook." She laughed. "Cook's a funny word. Cook. Cook. Cook." She laughed again.

"Go to sleep Naomi." Came the soft reply from the shape she knew was Effy. "You're drunk." It sounded amused.

"Why do people always say that? You're drunk? I mean, I know I am." Naomi sighed, feeling sleep creep up on her. "It's not gonna change anything, is it?" There was no reply from Effy.

The silence stretched, before she mumbled sleepily. "I hope I don't dream about her again, Eff. I really do. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I could just have one night without her, but she seems to be everywhere." She snuggled deeper into her covers. "Emily is the prettiest name I know, you know. Maybe it's not so bad to dream about her after all."

"Maybe not" She vaguely heard from the other side of the room before drifting off to sleep.

She's running through the city, following the flowing red hair in front of her. No matter how hard she runs, she never gets closer to it. She screams at it to stop, to slow down, it keeps going as if it hasn't heard her. She watches in horror as it disappears in to a building, darts in after it. The stairs seem to go on forever. "Naomi?" A voice rings out, and the world seems to shake. "Naomi, wake up!" The voice makes no sense. "NAOMI!" The stairway dissolves into darkness, a shape bent over her, shaking her shoulders.

"Effy?" She blinks a few times, feeling the tears rise in her eyes. "I lost her again. I tried so hard to catch up, but she keeps getting away." Sobs made their way out. "I don't want to… I can't… I lost her." The rest of the words gets buried as she breaks down.

"It's ok, Naomi. It's just a dream, a nightmare." She knows it's true, but she can't stop the hysteric sobs escaping her. Effy's just holding her, obviously not knowing what to do. She's so distraught, she don't even feel it coming. She hears Effy sigh with something that sounds suspiciously like relief, it puzzles her for a moment before she drifts in to it, her sobs stilling.

_***Flicker*** She feels a hand on the small of her back, lazily drawing circles, making goose bumps rise it's wake. She can't help the smile that comes with the sensation, her eyes are still closed. The hand moves up her spine, making it tingle. Her eyes open, and she turns her head._

_"Hey you." She whispers with a smile, feeling her stomach do back-flips as she looks in to the warm chocolate brown eyes next to her. They're so full of awe, of love, it almost makes her lose her breath._

_"Hey yourself." A deliciously husky voice answers. "Did I wake you?" The hand traces over her shoulder, down her arm, before lacing their fingers together. It feels right._

_"I don't mind being woken up like this." She moves to face the other, subconsciously mirroring her, using her free hand to prop her self up on an elbow. The slow spreading smile on Emily's face feels like her own private sunrise._

_Her heart picks up speed, and she brings the hand up and kisses it. Her eyes never leave those pools of swirling brown, they hold her without even trying. Glowing slightly as a ray of sun hits them._

_"You're beautiful." She hears herself say. ***Flicker***_

By the time she drifts out of it, her breath has calmed, and her mind seemed a bit clearer. Confusion still rages in her, but it seems trivial now. She draws a shaky breath, and shifts herself out of Effy's awkward embrace, not looking at her. They sit there, side by side, in total silence for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry." Naomi says after a while, still not meeting Effy's eyes. She feels like an idiot, crying like that in front of her friend.

"It's ok, don't worry about it. We all have nightmares from time to time." Naomi sneaks a look at her, noting that the faraway look is back in her friend's eyes. "I should probably get going." She wants to ask her to stay, to explain it all, but can't find the words.

As if Effy really can read her mind, she stops and looks at her from the doorway. "I'll call you later. And stop worrying, it'll all be ok, I just need to go home and get some sleep." The trademark smirk is back, making Naomi feel like they are ok. She finds herself smiling back.

Her head was pounding when she dragged herself out of bed after Effy left. Groaning, she made her way to the bathroom. Bloodshot eyes stares back at her when she stares in the mirror, she looks like shit. Turning on the shower, she watches the water for a minute, before getting in.

The previous night comes back to her in bits and pieces throughout the day. It makes her flinch a little, as she remembers a particular guy, sweaty and smelly, with his hands all over her. Cringe at the sudden remembrance of the major amounts of alcohol she had drunk. Laugh at a flashing image of Panda knocking down several people on the dance floor. Mostly though, it makes her frown. She can't place that feeling that she's missing something, something huge.

Her mother stomped into the kitchen, dragging a battered old suitcase, bringing her out of her speculations of what it was she had missed. "Do you have all you need, darling? I left some money on your desk, there's food in the fridge and I'm taking my cell."

"What?" Naomi asked her bewildered., not knowing what her mother was on about.

"Now, I'll only be gone a few weeks, but if you need something be sure to give me a call." Her mother prattled on, not seeing the utterly confused look on her daughters face.

"Mum. I have no idea what the hell you're talking about." Gina looked up and finally noted the way her daughter was looking at her.

"Honestly Naomi, do you ever pay attention? I told you weeks ago that I was going to that protest at Sellafield and then we were gonna stage a protest at the parliament. It's like you're in a world of your own these days." She told her daughter, a bit exasperated.

"Oh right." Naomi said, not remembering anything of the sort. "Well, have fun then. And don't get arrested, we don't want a repeat of last time." She flashed her mother what she hoped was an amused grin.

"Don't be silly dear, I'm not gonna get arrested again. It was all a misunderstanding last time. Besides, it'll be good for you to have some time alone, with exams coming up and all." A car horn sounded outside, "Oh! Got to dash. You be good, you hear me. And clean up if you're planning any big parties." Her mother leaned over her and kissed her on the cheek, hugging her tightly.

Naomi followed her to the door, waving goodbye as the old van with peace sings painted on it, drove away. She turned and walked back into a very quiet house. She couldn't stand the feeling of emptiness that washed over her, to abolish it she turned on the stereo and all the lights in the house. It was still there though, along with that gnawing feeling she'd had earlier. What on earth was it she wasn't remembering? She rubbed her eyes, and went to try and get some reading done.

Concentrating on her course work, proved to be impossible. She had been staring at the same page for 20 minutes before giving up on it. The sky outside had a boiling grey colour, rain threatening to fall from the heavy clouds. She turned on the TV, trying to get her mind out of the rut it was in. It didn't work. She sighed and switched the thing off, gathering her things and went to her room. The rain started pounding down as she laid on her bed.

The room grew dark around her, the only sound was the rain against her window, and a ticking clock on her bedside table. She kept nodding off, but forced herself back awake, not wanting the nightmares. The cycle continued through the night, and by the time the first cracks of daylight came through her window, she was exhausted. She got back up, still wearing the clothes she'd had on the night before, and went down the stairs and ended up in the kitchen again.

When she was a kid she had used to love the kitchens in their string of houses. There was usually always someone there. Someone who would make her a cup of tea or hot chocolate, someone who'd listen to her complain about her stupid class-mates, who would let her sit there as they talked about topics she didn't really understand, someone who cared. It felt empty and cold now, like the rest of the house, and she couldn't stand it anymore. She had to get out of there.

The rain had let up, and it was now just a faint drizzle, barely there at all. Naomi ignored it, ignored the still swirling grey sky promising more rain to come. She walked through the streets, hands in her pockets, not knowing where she was headed. She just went where her feet led her.

_***Flicker*** "Why didn't you tell me you knew her?" Emily was looking at her, suspicion tingeing her voice, a hurt look in her eyes. Naomi's gut clenched._

_"I met her once at an open day." She tried sounding calm, but Emily was in a fighting mode._

_"What open day?" The red head spat at her._

_"It was an open day, what does it matter?" She didn't want to fight, but she felt the irritation rise in her, making her more on edge then she already was._

_"We're going travelling next year. We decided." Her words sounded so final, and the feeling that someone had taken hold of her insides and was squeezing them, intensified. She could see Emily trying to make sense of it all, but didn't want to give her an opening._

_"You decided." Naomi answered. The look of confusion deepened in the others face, and she felt the need to try and make it alright, to explain. "Look, went to an open day. Met a girl, we talked. That's it." She found herself hoping that was going to be it for this conversation too._

_"You should have told me." Emily countered, almost before the words were out of her mouth. Naomi sighed internally._

_"Well, how could I without telling you where I met her?" She could hear the desperation in her own voice, and knew it wasn't good. She tried reining it in. "I didn't want a referendum on our relationship over a stupid open day."_

_Emily changed her tactic faster then a viper could strike. "Did you know she was gay?"_

_"I met her once!" She heard herself spit back, feeling her hackles rise again._

_"Did you fuck her?" The spite in Emily's voice made her want to take a step back._

_"NO!" Guilt flooded her, and she hoped it didn't show. It made her next words sound harsh, like an attack. "Do you think I'd shag some random girl behind your back?" ***Flicker***_

A crackle of lightning made her look up, her mind still mulling over the last flicker. Guilt was still moving around in her, making her feel sick. She had no idea where she was, no idea how she had gotten there. The road forked in front of her and she chose her direction at random. She dragged her grey hoodie so it covered her hands, it suddenly felt freezing.

When she looked up again, she was surprised to find that she was in front of the club she had been at only a few nights earlier. That feeling of missing something struck again, and she frowned at the building. It looked so different in daylight, she let her eyes trail up to the top of it.

_***Flicker*** "EMILY!" She ran up the stairs, following the red hair in front of her. Her voice echoed slightly in the empty space. The other made no attempt to stop, and burst through the doors and onto the roof. Naomi was seconds behind her._

_"PLEASE" Her own voice was so pleading, she hardly recognized it. "Can't we just go home?" She sounded pathetic and she knew it. It was all like a nightmare, she should have told her sooner. No, she should have never done it in the first place. A tiny part of her kept telling her she deserved what came next._

_"I don't think so." The red hair that she loved with all her heart, kept walking away from her. Kept walking towards their collective doom. All she could do was to follow, hoping to somehow make her see. ***Flicker**_*****

The thunder boomed somewhere over her, but she didn't really pay attention. Fat raindrops started hitting her exposed skin, her clothes getting more and more wet by the second. Not thinking clearly, she took the final few steps towards the door and tugged it open. Somewhere in the back of her mind she felt surprise that it wasn't locked. Her eyes adjusted to the gloom inside, and fell on a staircase.

Naomi's breath caught, her heart thumping furiously. "I found it." She whispered to herself.

* * *

***Takes cover behind an overturned table while waving a white flag* I had to end it there, I had to!**

**If you want to yell at me, fine... just hit the review button down there and let me have it! If you don't want to yell at me, but have something a bit nicer to add, feel free to do the same :D**


	14. Nothing left to lose

**A/N: ****I thought the hardest chapter I ever would have to write, was the one with the lake. I was clearly wrong. And I think I can safely say that I hate that rooftop.**

**This is for all the people who reviewed on my last chapter. Thank you.**

**Anyways, here's what you all came here to read.**

**Chapter 13: Nothing left to lose.**

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* * *

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"The feelings I had while I was standing there staring at that staircase, can only be described as a complete and utter mess." Naomi looked up at the other person in the room. His pen had stilled, she realized, quite some time ago. He looked thoughtful, lost in another world, her world. She watched him blink at her, taking in the last words she had spoken to him. Watched him collect himself and clear his throat.

"A mess?" His voice was as steady as it had always been, she thanked him internally for it. "What do you mean with that Ms. Cam… Ehh… Naomi?" He looked a bit sheepish over his slip up.

"Well, _Wes_." She but emphasis on his name, smiled a small smile when she saw him raise an eyebrow at her. "I mean they were all over the place. I didn't know if I wanted to go up them or not, all I knew was that if I didn't…" She let it trail off.

He just sat there, his eyes fixated on hers, letting her find the words on her own. She closed her eyes, leaning back in her chair. This was what she had built up to all along, this was why she had started telling him. She rubbed her temples, letting her mind drift back to a dark and empty club.

* * *

The air smelled slightly damp. A remnant of stale drinks, sweat and emptiness. She stood frozen in the middle of the dance floor, her eyes fixed at the stairs. All she needed to do was take the first step, but she couldn't find the strength. Her mind was oddly blank, or maybe it was all a jumble in there, she couldn't tell anymore.

_***Flicker*** "Oh for fucks sake! She didn't kiss me, ok?" She heard Emily say, making her stop where she was. Hopeful, she turned back to the gang, listening intently as Katie practically spat back._

_"Yes, she did, she practically jumped…" Katie didn't get any further._

_"I kissed her!" And there it was, finally. "I was drunk and someone gave me MDMA and…" Naomi had to bite the inside of her cheek to not smile at the cute way Emily was rambling. "I felt like fucking kissing someone! Satisfied?" ***Flicker***_

The last word echoed around her, and she looked down at her feet. There was a puddle around her, she shifted her gaze again, looking back at the staircase. Hesitantly, she took another step towards it. Lightning lit up the insides of the building for a second, and she could have sworn she saw a body hurtling towards the ground. It made her jump out of the way, laughing softly to herself when she saw it was all in her head.

She shook her head at her own stupidity, and walked the final few steps to the stairs. She hesitated again at the bottom of them. Taking a deep breath, she placed her hand on the railing. Nothing happened. She closed her eyes for a second, sighing with relief, and began climbing them. Her steps made a hollow sound, that echoed through the empty space.

_***Flicker*** Be brave… ***Flicker***_

She closed her eyes again, feeling the numbness spread through her. Her legs kept on walking though, carrying her closer to the spot where she knew what was coming. A flash of red told her she was right. Her own heartbeat sounded like thunder in her ears, or it could just be that it was the thunder outside she was hearing. It was impossible to tell. Her eyes opened again as her feet hit the platform.

_***Flicker*** She wanted to forget everything, forget what she'd done. Her hands tightened around Emily's waist, bringing her closer. She breathed in the familiar scent of strawberries and freshly mowed grass, and sighed._

_"I've missed you." Came a murmured voice from somewhere inside her embrace._

_Guilt raked through her body as Emily stepped back and looked up at her. She couldn't stand the love she saw in those mesmerising eyes and quickly bent down, kissing away the questions she saw growing in them. She just wanted to forget.***Flicker***_

Not knowing what to do next, she just stood there for a minute, looking out over the space beneath her. Trying to get her feelings back under control was getting harder and harder with each flicker. The scent of strawberries and freshly mowed grass, of Emily, hung in the air around her. The need to see this through, to make sense of it all, grew. She turned and looked up, almost expecting to see red hair streaming out behind Emily as she ran up the remaining stairs. She followed the ghostly image, needing to be closer.

_***Flicker*** Her eyes shot open as she heard the soft click of the bedroom door. She rolled over, spreading her fingers over the still warm spot that had held Emily just moments before. She listened as a voice outside spoke softly, the horrible mixture of guilt and dread rising in her again._

_Closing her eyes, she pressed the hand harder into the empty space beside her. The warmth was gone now. Footsteps moving away from her, down the creaking steps of the stairs, told her she was leaving._

_"Please." She pleaded with the empty room, her voice barely above a whisper. "Stay with me."_

_Somewhere below her, the front door opened and shut. ***Flicker***_

_**

* * *

**_

Tears rolled down her face, blurring her vision. She quickly brought her sleeve up to wipe them away. Sneaking a glance at Dr. Snipes, she saw him stare at a point above her head. There were tears in his eyes too, but they hadn't fallen, she looked back down. They sat in silence for a while, not looking at one another. Finally the silence became too much.

"I'm sorry." Naomi said, reaching for the cigarette pack. "I didn't mean to… you know." She gestured with her hands. She fumbled with the pack, taking out the final cigarette in there, lighting it with a sigh. Almost done now, almost there. What happened after she was through was something she didn't want to think about.

"It's quite alright, Naomi." He had regained his composure, but looked embarrassed. "Do you feel like you can continue, or do you need a break?" She studied him for a moment, noting that he looked tired too. She took a deep drag of her cigarette.

"I want to get through this, I need to." He just nodded.

* * *

She clung to the open door, staring at the parking lot in front of her. The wind howled in her ears, the rain beating down making every inch of bared skin sting. Hesitantly she took a step forward, letting go of the door. She vaguely heard it close behind her, and a shudder ran through her. Her eyes were fixed on the wall at the edge of the building. She took another step towards it.

_***Flicker*** She felt the desperate beating of her own heart as she watched Emily walk away from her and join Sophia's brother on the ledge. She couldn't take her eyes off her, never even glancing at the other person there._

_Emily's eyes met hers, the pain in them made her wish she had never come. It was awful, it was her fault. She felt a weight settle on her chest, making it increasingly hard to breathe. There was no hiding from that stare, all her own guilt and desperation shone through her own eyes._

_Emily turned, sliding her legs over the edge. She turned her back on Naomi, on them. ***Flicker***_

She was frozen to the bone, but she couldn't really feel it. She only knew she was freezing because she couldn't stop shivering. Emily was the drug that fuelled her onwards, she held on to that feeling with every ounce she had. The flickers was so loud here, so real. The rain seemed to be letting up, the storm passing. Her storm, however, had only just begun. She took another few steps towards where Emily had been sitting only moments before.

_***Flicker*** He opens the box and Naomi wants to scream for him to stop. She wants to run up to Emily, to drag her away. The scream wouldn't come, the weight pressing down further on her chest. Her feet feels like they've been glued to the ground. She can only watch as Emily pulls out a book and starts turning the pages._

_She sees the change in the set of Emily's shoulders, the shaking intake of breath, and she knows. It's over, it's all over. The sobs that have built themselves up over the last few days, finally escapes her._

_"I'm sorry!" The words feels like they rip their way out of her throat. "I'm so sorry!" She knows they can never be enough, the look in Emily's eyes when she finally turns to face her, tells her that._

_She's vaguely aware that Sophia's brother is standing up, sees Emily turn to look at him. He does something, she doesn't see what. The breaking noise that follows send shivers up her spine, it's like an echo of her own heart shattering._

_He brushes past her as he goes. She watches as he disappears through the doors, wishing it was her, wants to be anywhere but here. Her eyes finds Emily's again, and she knows there is no way she can leave her here. No way she can walk away from this. ***Flicker***_

There are tears in her eyes as she reaches the ledge. She leans over it, looking down at the road. The height makes her dizzy and she takes a step back. She lets go of the breath she wasn't aware that she'd held in. She sinks down against the ledge, leaning her head backwards. The rain is coming in drizzles, but she's already soaked to the bone. She draws her knees up to her chest, trying to find some warmth.

_***Flicker*** "You ruined it." Emily sounds so broken, so lost. She wants to answer her, but doesn't know how to find the words. "You don't want anyone to care!"_

_The sight of her standing up, makes her insides ache. She's afraid to even breathe as she watches Emily take a step towards the ledge._

_"I could be dead in a second. Everything is so…fragile." The tiny body shakes and Naomi can't help the sobs from breaking through. "Didn't you realize that?" She wants to yell at her, tell her to stop, that she gets it. The words still won't come._

_"We were special!" Emily is crying openly now, voice broken. Her own sobs are coming rapidly, tears flowing freely down her face. Her insides feels like they have turned to ice, like all the warmth in the world is gone._

_Emily finally turns back towards her and jumps down on the rooftop. The look in her eyes is so awful, it's so full of hurt. With one final look Emily moves away from her. Panic rises in her, and she finally finds her voice._

_"I was scared!" She doesn't recognize her own voice. It's so shrill, so desperate._

_"You're always scared!" The venom in Emily's voice, slices through her like a knife. She doesn't stop walking away from her._

_"Emily!" It's an involuntary reaction, a need to make her stop. With every step the other takes, Naomi feels her heart break a little more._

_"EMILY!"_

_Without another word, she's gone. And all the colour seem to drain from the world. ***Flicker***_

Amazingly nothing has changed. The clouds are moving over her, no longer producing any rain. Birds are singing in a nearby tree. She puts a hand over her heart and feels the steady beat, a bit fast, but slowing down. A car horn beeps loudly somewhere down below her. Nothing has changed, nothing but her.

She sits there for a while. She has no idea for how long. The rain comes back, it's softer this time, but still freezing. Finally she gets up, feeling tired and sore. Her mind is blank, not reacting to what has happened. She feels a tiny pinprick of anger, and holds on to it, makes it grow. The pinprick becomes a ball. The ball grows, turning into molten lava flowing through her body. She lets it course for a while, relishing in the heat of it, feeding off it's warmth. It feels good, it feels human.

A wild scream breaks out of her when she can't hold on to it anymore. Rage as she has never known before, manifests itself in that scream. She screams until she has no breath left, until her lungs are aching. The scream dies, leaving a deafening silence, and all she is left with is a question.

"Why?" She whispers to the empty parking lot. There is no answer, of course. No flicker to explain it. There is only emptiness.

She steps over to the ledge and asks again in a more normal voice. "Why?"

Still nothing, not even a breath of wind. Not thinking clearly, she steps up on it and screams. "WHY?"

The people below her looks like ants. The cars like something a three year old would play with. She sits down, feet dangling over the edge and just watch it all flow by. Watches as a crowd of onlookers gather beneath her, as flashing red and blue lights draw closer.

_***Flicker*** "I mean… Can't we just sit like this? For a bit?"_

_"Yeah. We can… For a bit." ***Flicker***_

_**

* * *

**_

They sit in total silence, eyes locked, waiting for the other to speak first. Her cigarette is long gone, and she fiddles with the lighter to keep her hands busy. Finally, not able to stand the silence anymore, she opens her mouth to speak.

"To be honest, the details of how exactly they got me off that roof is a bit… Erm… Fuzzy." She grimaced at him. "Not my most brilliant thought, sitting on that ledge." He grins at her as she continues "Or should I say lack of?" She manages a grin back.

He's easy to talk to. The conversation flows between them, discussing the various flickers. She bares it all, there is nothing left for her to lose. They avoid the real issue for a long time, but in the end there is nothing left to talk about. She knows he has been waiting for her to bring it up.

"So, what's the verdict, doc? Am I crazy? Are you locking me up somewhere?" She tries to shot him a cheeky grin, but eyes him nervously. He looks back at her, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"I think what I'm about to do is not going to be popular." He sees the faltering look in her eyes and quickly adds. "No, not for you, I think you'll be pleased. It's the police officer that was in here earlier, well, the police in general I suspect, that won't be too happy with me." He smiles at her in a reassuring way.

"And what exactly are you going to do to me?" She asks, not daring to look at him.

"I'm going to let you go." He states. Her eyes snap up, sees that he means what he's saying.

"What? You're not going to arrest me?" She stares at him completely flabbergasted.

"From what you told me, no." He holds up a hand as she tries to get a word in. "But I would recommend that you talk to someone about what you're going through. From what you've told me, you're getting very confused. As for what the flickers are, well, I think you have to find that out for yourself."

"I have to find it out for myself? But I have no idea what the hell they are!" She shouts at him, not bothering to reign in her temper.

"Yes you do, Naomi, you have probably known since the first one hit you." He says to her calmly, not responding to her sudden outburst of anger. "There are just some things I can't tell you, some things that you have to work out for yourself. This is one of them. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go take care of your paperwork." He gets up from behind the table.

"But… Wait!" She grabs his hand as he's about to pass her. "How will I know if what I think they are, is what you think they are?" He looks down at her, compassion in his eyes, before removing her hand from his cuff.

"Because what I think they are doesn't really matter. You need to figure it out for yourself." And with one last smile in her direction, he's gone. She stares blindly at the door, while her mind is working.

"Figure it out for myself." She says softly to herself after a while, scoffing at the idea. "Cause I've been doing such a fan-fucking-tastic job of it, haven't I? He's supposed to be the fucking shrink, he's supposed to tell me, isn't he?" She falls silent, thinking. Maybe he wasn't supposed to tell her, maybe she really was meant to figure it out for herself. The only problem was that she had no idea where to start. She groaned and put her head on the table, too tired to think clearly.

"Campbell, on your feet!" Her head whipped around meeting the green eyes of officer Graham. He looked like he was about to murder someone. His hand closed around her upper arm painfully, dragging her to her feet, ignoring her protests.

He dragged her down the hallway, still ignoring her. She had tried to tell him that she was perfectly capable of walking herself, that he didn't need to drag her along like she was a sack. He had just grunted and continued, his hand still firmly clasped around her arm. She was going to have a bruise when he was done.

"Your clothes are in there." He said in a stony voice and shoved her through a door. "You have two minutes before I'm coming in after you."

She rubbed her arm when he finally let go, glaring at the door that got slammed shut behind her back. She was in a changing room, probably meant for the staff. She found her clothes on a nearby bench and started pulling off the ones she had on. She yawned as she put on her still damp hoodie.

Another officer, a female one this time, led her back out to the front area. "Here, I need you to sign this." She pushed a form towards her. Naomi signed it without questioning what it was. She wondered briefly where officer Prick had pissed off to, found that she didn't really care.

"And I need to know if you have someone who can pick you up. We can provide a ride for you, but at this time of night it gets a bit hectic, so it probably won't be for a while." The officer looked at her apologetically.

"I can find my own way home." Naomi said, her voice tired. "Where did Dr. Snipes go?" She wanted to say goodbye, answers or not.

"I'm sorry, we can't let you go without knowing that you have a ride home. As for Dr. Snipes… You just missed him, he left ten minutes ago. He left you this though." She handed her a card, Naomi looked down and saw that there was something written on the back of it. Not looking at it closer, she put the business card in her pocket.

"Right." She said. "Can I use your phone?" The officer shows her to a table, pointing to the phone on top of it.

At first she considers calling her mother, but she's in London. Besides, she doesn't want her mother to worry. She frowns, looking at the phone for a minute, before she starts to dial a number. The phone rings three times before she hears the familiar voice answering. She sighs a sigh of relief.

"It's me. Can you come pick me up? I'm at the police station." She listens as the other speaks for a while, and quietly replies. "It's a long story, just come get me." And hangs up. She explains who is coming to pick her up to the female officer, there isn't any problem with it. It only takes a ten minute wait, before she is escorted out to a car.

The drive is made in silence. She watches as the lights blurs past her window and suddenly remembers the card. Her hand finds it in her pocket and she takes it out. It only has a few words on it.

Call me when you find out.  
-Wes

"Yes." She thinks to herself. "I would gladly pay to see him in the same room as Effy."

* * *

**You didn't really think I would tell you, did you? Where's the fun in telling you now? :P Seriously... **

**Oh, and for those of you thinking this was it... Sorry to disappoint, but you're stuck with me for a while. At least til I ramble my way through the mess I've made here.**

**You should know what to do by now. Don't make me lock you in a room with my duckies! :P :D **


	15. Through other eyes

**A/N: Pay attention people! This one is a little different, someone kept nagging me about their own chapter. I finally caved and this is the result. Dedications and such will be at the bottom of the page. **

**I repeat: This is not Naomi speaking, you'll find out who it is when you read the chapter. (And no, it's not Emily neither, sorry.)**

**Chapter 14: Through other eyes.**

I've never been much for religion of any kind, at least not organized. What I believe in, is for me to know and no one else. These are the words I've told myself for ages, the rules I have lived with. There is only one problem though, for me to explain this, I have to break those rules.

I don't believe in any other demons then the ones in the heads of everyone of us. Wrapped around the brains of all humans, making them who they are. Watching through their eyes, seeing everything you see from behind a veil. They move when you move, speak with your tongue and they whisper in your head when you are alone and everything is silent.

We all feel them, know they are there, some people are just better at ignoring them then others. Others again, just keep them in check. And then you have the ones like me, who let them out. Let them take over completely. They roam the halls of our minds and has full access to what makes us weaker then the rest.

My demons, my lovely, horrible demons, shield me from the rest of the world. They made my walls stronger and higher, making them virtually impossible to get around. As an added bonus, they have me ready to run, just in case someone gets too close to breaking through. There is no explanations, only the way it has always been.

In all my encounters with people that have had a chance to get to know me, the real me, it has urged me to shut down. To not let them in. Sever the ties that hold me to them and made me run, fast, in a different direction. And in the silence that follows, they have whispered why it was the right thing to do. Why I can't get too close.

As I have been forced to live behind these walls made of glass, the parts of me that the demons don't control have learned to see the ones who are like me. To spot them even in large crowds. Some of them, the ones I resemble the most, have demons shielding them. Others have the type of demons that makes them connect to easily. They give parts of themselves to everyone they come across and soon are nothing but empty shells, looking for someone to fill them up. There are times I wish my demons were like that.

My demons have me firmly in their grasp. They put up my masks, my defences. Makes sure I can never have the things I long for the most. You see, they have never been able to fully squash my heart. My heart is flawed in more ways then I can count, but at least it has never been taken over by these infectious "things" in my head.

My heart still breaks, aches, beats with mixed consistency and it yearns. Yearns for the one thing that will make it complete. The one thing my demons refuses me to know what is. My heart lets me feel, even if it is through my glass walls, lets me see what I will never truly have. It feels a lot like being lost, and everything just goes on as usual. Like no one is looking for you.

This is how I thought it all went, cynical as they have made me, but I was wrong.

I still remember the day my beliefs started to crumble. It was the day I was starting at Roundview, already thinking it was going to be just as boring as everywhere else I had ever been. I don't think our eyes met for more then a second the first time, but it was all it took to fascinate me. It shocked me, I'm not supposed to be fascinated by a single look.

She was like me, her walls higher and stronger then the ones around her. There was one difference though, her walls were corroding as I watched. Bubbling out, bulging, as if someone had thrown acid on them. Her demons are huddled in a corner, watching fearfully as a single tiny pinprick of light flickers in her mind.

I watch her as she comes into the room, she looks like she is about to break. Her demons scurrying around in her head, trying to get back some remnant of control. She sees me staring and gives me a frown, I only smile back at her. I watch in amusement as her walls grow back a little. She's fighting a losing battle, I know it.

The demons seem to be succeeding, but just as it looks like they are back in control, the world ripples around her. Her head flies back as if something hits her. The light seem to pulsate with red, it looks like it's growing. It's the most breathtakingly beautiful thing I have ever seen, my demons scream at the sight of it, fleeing to the back of my mind. For one blessed moment, there is peace.

I tried pushing it away, or maybe it was the demons that tried. Tried distracting myself with the games I had once loved to play, but nothing helped. Nothing made a difference, the truth was still there, making my demons tremble. One look had managed to break through something that had taken me years to build. Shattered through my walls before I even knew what was happening. One thing was sure though, I had to know who this person was.

The process of making a friend is alien to me. I've never really tried before, but I do now. The people I can trust, that calls themselves my friends, have all drifted to me of their own. Lost in their own little ways. The truth is this though, I'm Effy Stonem, I don't do friends. So I watch for an opening, some meaningless way to make a connection to her.

I learn a lot about her as I watch. Her name is Naomi, and she is a lot stronger then she thinks she is. She doesn't seem to see the looks that follow her, the ones that should tell her how stunning she really is. I find it refreshing. There's a connection with a girl named Katie, I don't quite know what it is yet. Katie is one of those that covers their pain with a rough exterior. In reality it only makes her seem more lost and alone to me. Like a part of her is missing. I find my opening later that day, makes sure she has my number and I get hers.

I use the week to follow her, ignoring the countless people trying to get my attention away from her. The ripples continue to follow her too, each time with the same result. The tiny light grows slowly within her, making her glow. With each ripple, another wall melts a little more, and I can see that it's upsetting her, whatever it is that she sees. I use my skills to get closer to her, making sure to take it slow.

I know I'm getting there as she ask me if I'm not scared to hang around with the resident muff muncher. The question comes after I've taken it upon myself to "rescue" her from the fallout of another ripple. I've learned to recognize the signs that one is coming. It surprises me that Katie seems to have gotten it right, maybe there is more to her then what I've been seeing. In my defence, I have been a bit occupied with the task of getting Naomi to trust me.

I invite her along to Cook's birthday party, I might be pushing my luck, but she comes regardless. She seems to be trying to drink away the ripples, but the flashes of red are following her. I wish she would stop fighting them, and try to accept that they are there to stay. I watch as she finally finds acceptance in the little crowd of misfits that we are, even Katie is warming to her. It makes me smile.

That night I finally find the connection between them, Katie has a twin. Her name is Emily. I listen as Katie tells me about how her sister coloured her hair red because it was her favourite colour. How Katie did the same because they had always done the same things in the past, and she wanted to hold on to her sister. I also learn that they used to go to the same school as Naomi and that Katie had tried convincing Emily that she wasn't gay.

I know I've made the right assumptions when I see the look on Naomi's face, as she listens to them speak on the phone together the next day. I make sure she never saw me see it, but the image stays with me. The look of complete torture, is heartbreaking, even if there is flashes of love in it. The light grows a little brighter.

I want to tell her that I know, but the time isn't right.

After that day there is a determination in her, she's still resisting the ripples, but she seems to be following them. She drags me along, not that I'm protesting much. I usually ring the rest of the gang, trying to make it seem normal. Naomi is usually running around, lost in her own little bubble, and for some reason I want them here. It brings me closer to them all and despite the fact that I've never really had a friend before, I'm not sure what Panda was before this, I now have a whole group of them. The thought is scary.

Katie is becoming one of my best friends fast. I'm not sure what it is that draws me to her, maybe that she seems as lonely as I am. My demons are rearing their heads again, whispering again in the silences. I think that's why I start flirting with her, to see if I can break her like she once broke Emily. To make her see that labels really doesn't matter.

The plan starts to backfire at Panda's party. First, I manage to tell them all that my parents are getting a divorce. I blame the way Katie is shouting at me, the way Naomi is looking at me and the sobs from a devastated Panda from the other side of the door. It just comes tumbling out, unplanned. I'm Effy, I always have a plan. I don't do heartfelt confessions. Secondly, I get trapped in a room with Katie. Alone.

She tells me about her parents divorce, her eyes tearing up and I want to lean over and wipe them away. I want to take her in my arms and tell her it's all going to be ok. The feeling is terrifying and she seems to sense that something is wrong. In that moment, I know she has the same thoughts I do. Thankfully, Naomi interrupts us. My demons hides the fear in a heartbeat, but I think she sees it.

I'm so caught up in my own head that I don't see that something is wrong with her. It hits me a few minutes after she has gone out for a cigarette. I swear under my breath as I go to find her. At first I think she has left, I even try looking for her out on the street, not caring that I'm dressed in a pink pyjama. The neighbour is a prick.

I finally find her crying in the bouncy castle. She keeps mumbling about it not being enough, I don't think she knows she is doing it. I make her a silent promise of helping her through it. She needs to see these, whatever they are, through. I more convinced of that then ever, but if they are breaking her like this, I need to make sure she gets a few moments of peace first. I owe her that much.

I help her run, noticing the little hints of another ripple coming closer. The month or so she has been without them, has been the most fun I have ever had. Our little gang has become more tight knit then I ever thought was possible. Freddie is in love with me, but I've made it clear that we can never be more then friends and things are slowly getting better. I think Cook has some twisted fascination with me too.

I tried avoiding Katie, I really did. It's just that she is everywhere and parts of me wants to get closer to her. In the end we come to an unspoken agreement, we don't talk about it.

It's not until Naomi uses one of my own tricks against me, I realize how far she has managed to chip away my walls. How many of my demons she has managed to slay without me noticing. She's making me more human and I open up to her. I don't think she knows she's doing it, what ever it is she is doing to me.

I use my newfound freedom to get closer to Katie, I start flirting with her again. This time it has nothing to do with Emily. To my surprise, she starts flirting back. I see her give herself to men, trying to fuck me out of her head, but she always comes back to me. I can see her confusion growing, see the subtle flash of anger when Cook manages to announce that we had sex once to everyone. I'm getting to her.

I can't really define what it is I'm feeling for her, she just makes me happier when she's around. I'm hoping it's the same for her. She does seem to seek me out more often these days, always sitting next to me. Helping me as I save Naomi from another one of those ripples. I know I should have let Naomi experience it, but the look on her face makes me feel sick. I have no choice but to hope she figures it out for herself.

The change is sudden, as if something happened in the last 24 hours. I smile as I see the light has grown again, almost banishing all her demons. It's pulsating in her, shooting out rays of red and a deep golden brown. I have never seen anything like it. I can't understand how no one else sees it, it's so bright.

She seems to be floating on clouds over the next few days. Even Katie has noticed it, she keeps asking me if she has met someone. I try to be vague about it, but she jumps to conclusions as usual. I just tell her she's wrong. She drops it after I lean in and kiss her cheek, telling her she's cute.

Something is wrong with Naomi. I think the strain of not seeing Emily is getting to her. She has given in to these ripples, letting them take her over, but if she sees what I think she sees, there is no wonder she's getting a bit down. All I can do for her at this point, is try to be there when she crashes.

Things have been a bit weird between Katie and me again, I decide to go talk to her before we're going out. I find Naomi staring at the cat-flap when I get to her house. The look on her face is so pained and ecstatic at the same time, it makes me ache. I see her come out of it, the ripples dying down around her. I try joking it away for her, she smiles one of her sadder smiles and tells me to piss off. I smirk back at her.

I don't get a chance to talk to Katie, but she gave me a hug when she saw me, so I'm guessing we're alright. I watch her laughing with Cook, feeling more relaxed then I ever have. Even drugs have never made me feel like this. I should know, I've tried my way through most of them. As we dance in the club later, I notice that my demons aren't whispering when I'm around her. I walk her home that night, her hand securely in mine. It feels nice, like it's meant to be like this.

We grew closer over the next few weeks, spending almost all our free time together. The only problem is that Naomi looks like she's stopped sleeping all together. I can only watch as she's falling apart. Katie notices too, talking about a girls night out to try and snap her out of it. I know it won't work, but I can't find the words to tell her. She's so excited over it and I think I love that about her. I think I might love her full stop. I should be scared, but I'm not as long as she's near me.

I'm there when she gets the call, I watch as her face falls. My heart is clenching painfully at the look on her face. I know it kills her that she can't be there for her sister. Before I know what I'm saying, I've offered to drive her to London. The look in her face would've been reward enough for me, but she takes it a step further and hugs me. I can't help it as I kiss the top of her head and murmur softly to her that it's all going to be alright.

I make her call Naomi to tell her our night is off and listen at the insults she's hurling at the voicemail. I know they are more pet-names at this point, she really thinks of Naomi as a friend. I once found them hurling insults at each other, only to fall over themselves laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. They really are quite cute together, even if they won't admit it.

We stop somewhere along the way so I can stretch my feet and she can get something to eat. I'm clutching my coffee, watching her pick at her food, when a burly guy decides we need company. I can't help the grin on my face as I watch her shot him down. She smiles back at me, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.

She grabs my hand on the way out, still high on the rush of telling that guy to fuck off back to the stone ages. I open the door for her when we reach the car and before I know what hits me, she hugs me again. She looks so sheepish when she draws back that I lean down and kiss her. I don't really know why I do it. She freezes for a second and my demons are laughing at my stupidity in my head.

Her face is unreadable when we break apart for the second time in moments. We just look at each other for what seems like minutes, I've never noticed how her eyes seem to glow. I finally can't take it any more and close my eyes, not wanting to see her reach her conclusion. I feel her take a step closer to me and the demons finally shut up.

Her lips are soft, her tongue gently darting out to taste mine. My heart is beating so hard that it feels like it's about burst out of my chest. I feel her hands tighten around me for a second, before she steps back. I miss her warmth already.

The rest of the trip goes by in silence, but she takes my hand after a while. I have trouble concentrating on the road, as she draws lazy circles with her thumb. Wordlessly, she lets go of my hand as we reach the outskirts of London. It doesn't take long before we're parked in front of an anonymous apartment building. I follow her up the stairs, hoping things won't be too weird between us.

It isn't until the door opens that I remember where we are. The realization hits me as I look into a pair of golden brown eyes, that are almost identical to Katie's. They are just as similar as they are different. I don't have much time to register anything else as they step towards each other and cling to one another. They remember me after a while, I don't blame them for forgetting.

I try to ignore it, but something keeps drawing me back to Emily. It takes me a while to see it, when I do however, I wonder how I could have missed it in the first place. Maybe it's because it's not coming from inside her head, like Naomi, but her heart. With every beat, flashes of gold and blue leaves a faint trace around her.

As soon as I see it, I know. There's no denying it. Phrases like meant to be, or made for each other, starts running through my head. They never held much meaning to me before now. She's as radiant as Naomi and I can't help wondering what will happen if they meet. No, when they meet.

They are like two comets who were meant to crash into each other, but never did. It's inevitable that they come back to that path at one point or another. I just hope I'm there to watch it. So that I either can pick up the pieces of the wreck they might make, or watch as they light up the night sky. It was going to be a spectacular sight either way, but I hope for their sake that it would be the last. I'm not sure how they will survive the first.

Katie tries to get me to stay. I promise her that we'll talk about what happened earlier when she gets back, and she lets me go. Parts of me wants her to kiss me again, but I get that she doesn't want to do that in front of her sister. After all, Emily is supposed to be the gay one and all. She hugs me though, perhaps a bit longer then what you would normally hug a friend, when I'm about to leave.

I still don't know what we are, only know what I want us to be. In the grand scheme of things, we would only be like fireflies next to the blazing trails of the comets that are Naomi and Emily. I find that I like the idea, we could find a way to grow brighter together. The thought makes me smile all the way back to Bristol.

The first thing I do when I get back, is find Naomi. She's been drinking herself into oblivion, amazingly enough she's a fun drunk. I've never noticed that before. I want to tell her that I've seen Emily, that I know it's going to be ok, but she would be to drunk to remember. Besides, it's not my place to tell her. She will know soon enough.

I get her home, feeling a bit guilty that I've been neglecting her. I can see she's struggling with something. I watch her sleep, just wanting to be closer to the brilliant shades of red and golden brown. Something is wrong though, they seem to be a tempest around her.

I can't stand watching her toss and turn, or her strangled cries for Emily, so I shake her awake. She's so lost and there is nothing I can do for her, I wish I could feel a fraction of the obvious pain for her. As the flash of brilliant red ripples the world around her, I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that it will calm her down. Show her what I already know.

She seems to panic when I say I'm leaving. I reassure her that I will be in touch, it looks to be what she needs to hear. I just need some time to figure out what to do about it all. About Katie, about Emily and most of all about Naomi. She still has no idea what she has done for me, who she has made me into. I'm not sure I know either, all I know is that the change is for the better.

* * *

**I did say to some of you that Emily would make a real life appearance soon... :P **

**This was the chapter I was telling you guys about a few chapters ago, the one that has been writing itself since I started the story. I just thought it was time I let it out, let Effy have her moment. Maybe she'll leave it at this, but I'm sure there will be other surprises along the way. It was just something I had to do, don't worry though we'll get back to that blonde I left in a car somewhere, really soon. **

**This will (most likely) be the only chapter without flickers.**

**For Es and Hypes: Ask and you shall receive... :P**

**I think you all know what to do down here? *points to review button***

**Oh, and thank you so much for the reviews of the last chapter, they meant a lot.**


	16. Unexpected

**A/N: I'm sorry for the wait (if you have been waiting) I just hit a bit of a writers block making it all stop up there. That is the only reason why this chapter is the way it is too... I have to say though, "researching" this chapter? Most fun I've had in ages :D Btw: this was supposed to be a flicker chapter (about 99% flicker) but that didn't happen. Oh well...**

**Thanks to all the people with the lovely long reviews. I loved that you loved my little Effy chapter :D **

**Now let's get on with it, shall we?**

**Chapter 15: Unexpected.**

The car stopped in front of her house and she turned to face Cook. He was the only one she could think of calling, apart from Effy, but she felt Effy had seen enough of her bullshit. A part of her felt a stab of guilt at that thought. Cook had been her second choice, he wouldn't ask questions. He was also someone she felt she could trust.

"Thanks Cook." She smiled weakly at him, she felt exhausted.

"You sure you don't want me to come in, Blondie?" He asked her with real concern in his voice.

"It's alright, I just need some sleep." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and stepped out of the car.

"If you ever wanna talk…" He let it trail off, looking a bit sheepish. "I mean, I'm no good at this stuff, but remember I'm always here for you, yeah?" He looked up at her as she leaned in the window to him and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back before she let go.

"I'm sorry I ruined your night Cook. I just didn't know who else to call, I'll make it up to you." She saw his grin grow and fake punched him in the arm. "Not like that, you git." She grinned back at him.

"No worries, Naomikins. I love ya, you know that right?" The usual mischievous grin had disappeared, replaced by gentle eyes and a small smile. She reached in and squeezed his arm again. He smiled up at her. "Now get to fuck, before you fall over where you stand and I have carry you in."

"Alright, alright!" She put her hands up. "I'm going. Love you too Cook." She leaned back in a kissed him on the cheek again, making him blush slightly. She blew him another kiss before closing her front door. She leant her head against the it and closed her eyes, she didn't hear the car drive away for another few minutes.

The house was quiet and dark, but at this point she didn't mind. Her mind felt fuzzy, drained. She sighed and finally turned from the door. Her body was shivering, the hoodie she was wearing still damp. She felt no cold though, only a bone deep tiredness. She shuffled up the stairs, tugging at her clothes as she went. By the time she finally flopped down on her bed, throwing what she had removed on the floor, she was in her underwear. She slid over the bed, folding herself under her covers. The shivers stopped as the first waves of sleep washed over her.

The room was filled with a strange muted light when she woke up. She didn't open her eyes, but rather just laid there and felt it. She didn't remember closing the drapes before she went to bed, but must have had. She snuggled deeper into her covers, relishing in the fact that she hadn't had a single nightmare. In feeling like she'd finally gotten enough sleep. The smell of coffee drifted towards her, she smiled. It smelled wonderful. She sat bolt upright.

"What the fuck?" She muttered. There was fresh clothes laid out for her beside the bed, a mug of still steaming coffee on the nightstand next to her. She looked around the room a bit confused, no one. The light was more muted now, so that would make it sunset and not sunrise. A noise from downstairs startled her again and she grabbed the clothes laid out, pulling them on quickly. The door swung open as she was putting on a t-shirt. She turned, one arm still stuck in the air, eyes wide.

"Fucks sake, Effy! What the hell are you trying to do? Scare me to death?" She put her arm down sheepishly. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She glared as she saw the slow smirk spread over Effy's face.

"Back from the dead then?" Came the lazy reply. "Thought you might wake up around now." She walked past a stunned Naomi, picked up the coffee cup and thrust it out towards the blonde. "I haven't poisoned it, you know."

"Thanks" She muttered as she snatched the coffee cup from the other girl, taking a grateful sip. "What _are _you doing here, anyways?" Blue eyes connected over the steam still coming from the coffee. "And how'd you get in? Smashed one of the windows, did you?" She raised an eyebrow at Effy and felt her lips twitch into a smile.

"Don't worry, all your windows are unbroken." Effy grinned at her. "I used the spare key. I put it back under the gnome when I was done." Effy suddenly looked down, not meeting her eyes. "I needed a place to stay, I can't live with my mother anymore." She said, looking a bit unsure of herself. It made Naomi frown. "I just thought I could, you know, maybe stay here for a few days?"

"Erm, right." Naomi said, a bit uncomfortable. "You could probably take the spare room. I'm sure my mum wouldn't mind." She put the cup on her desk and moved towards Effy, putting her arms around her uncertainly. To her surprise, Effy hugged her back.

"Thanks Naomi, I just didn't know where else to go." She mumbled, stepping out of the hug. "Are you sure your mum won't mind?"

"Are you kidding? She'll be thrilled I've gone in to the family business of picking up strays. Eh, not that you're a stray… Oh crap, you know what I mean." Effy just grinned at her. "But just so you know, we're moving in a few days. We start packing up our things right after our exams are done."

"Alright." Effy said, suddenly looking a bit sad. "I can probably find somewhere else to stay. I mean, that gives me a week, right?"

"Don't be daft" Naomi said, slapping her on her arm and grinning. "It's a three bedroom house. You're coming with us. Now, come on roomie, I'm starving!" She left a shell-shocked Effy standing in her room and headed for the kitchen.

Her mother hadn't minded a bit, just like she had predicted. Effy had moved into the spare room, Pato and all. Naomi had grinned when she found the stuffed toy giraffe, amazed that she would own something like that. They'd read for the exams together, sat in the living room at night just talking about trivial stuff. Naomi never mentioned the day Effy came to stay, and Effy never asked. In return Naomi never asked about Effy's troubles with her mother. The flickers had returned to what she would classify as normal, whatever that meant. They were lighter, revolving more around the conflicting feelings of need, want and overwhelming fear. She felt like a burden had been lifted since her talk with Dr. Snipes, felt less conflicted.

The exams had been going well, even though she hadn't read as much as she would've liked. She frowned down on the exam sheet she had taken with her from the last one, trying to figure out if she had gotten all the questions right. Someone grumbling nearby, made her look up.

"Alright Katie? How'd it go?" She said to the approaching twin, smiling slightly at the incessant swearing.

"I'm rubbish at history! Never got why the fuck we need to learn about this crap." She slammed her locker open, shoving all her stuff into her oversized bag. Naomi just chuckled. "It's alright for you, you probably aced the bleeding thing." Katie shot her a glare.

"I'm sure you did fine Katie. Anyways, it's all over now. And we have that to look forward too." She pointed to the poster with Love Ball splashed all over it with an innocent grin.

"Hell no! I'm not going to that loser ball. We're going out! Celebrate with style and all that. I have it all figured out, Thommo is promoting this posh new club downtown, it's supposed to be dead trendy, and we're going." Katie glared at her, daring her to disagree.

"I have no problem with that." Naomi simply said, putting her hands up in mock innocence.

"Good, you better not. Anyways, I have to go, big family dinner and all that." She grimaced slightly and walked away from a still smiling Naomi.

Naomi followed her a minute or two later, after grabbing what she had left in her own locker. She hummed to herself as she walked towards the exit, not really thinking about anything in particular. There was no warning, no flash of red. One minute she was walking down the hallway, the next she was transported in to a flicker.

_***Flicker*** "I'll miss you" The words rang down the hallway and made her stop, they hung in the air between them. _

_She had been so sure that she would get away, so sure she had finally found the strength. She exhaled the breath she hadn't been aware that she had held in. She had told her she was going away, told her they should just be friends, it had taken all she had to do it. It was getting too much, she couldn't find an argument to stop herself anymore._

_One simple statement. It had been all it took. She felt her walls lowering, felt the need rush through her. All of a sudden she couldn't stand it anymore. Couldn't stand not looking at her, not being able to touch her. Couldn't stand the eyes she felt burning on the her back. She just couldn't stand it anymore, all of it. She turned and walked back to her, to Emily, barely registering the shock in the others eyes._

_The need grew in her as she slammed Emily against the lockers, lips heatedly seeking lips. Jolts of electricity flew around them, making every fibre of her body fire up at once. It still wasn't enough. She felt Emily's hands fly up around her neck and she answered by drawing her closer._

_"I can't stand it." She heard herself say, in-between breathless kisses. "I can't!" She wasn't sure what she meant by telling Emily that, all her thoughts had become too clouded to make out. Emotions was pouring through her out her lips and into Emily. She only hoped she understood._

_"It's ok." Came the equally breathless answer. She nearly missed it, her heart was pounding so hard in her ears. The huskiness in her voice was unmistakable, she felt a shiver run through her. The taste of Emily made her head spin even more, she needed more. Need suddenly felt like it wasn't enough, the word was so small and inconsequential compared to what she felt._

_"Jesus!" It was driving her crazy, she was driving her crazy. The sound of people made them break apart and she could have killed them all on the spot._

_There was a sense of urgency in her that she just couldn't shake. "Oh Christ! Let's get out of here." She said with a note in her voice that she couldn't quite place. She grabbed Emily's hand and dragged her out with her. ***Flicker***_

Her knees were shaking, her breaths came in ragged gulps. Her hand flew wonderingly up to her lips as she stood there staring blindly into space. She could have sworn on anything in the world that they were still tingling. Her heartbeats slowly returned to normal, no longer beating in bursts that threatened to make her heart beat out of her chest. There was what can only be described as a primal force, still running amok somewhere in her stomach, rolling over her in waves. She closed her eyes for a second, allowing herself to relive the last flicker again.

Her feet started moving of their own. Before she became aware of what she was doing, she had begun sprinting down the road. She knew where she was going, could almost see herself running in front of her, clutching the hand of a giggling Emily. The red hair streamed out before her, she could almost hear the clicking of her heels. Hear her own words of encouragement. It all made her run faster.

Out of breath, she threw open the door to her house after fiddling with the keys. "Effy?" She yelled at the top of her lungs, breathing heavily. There was nothing but silence answering. She sighed with relief and took of her jacket, throwing it over the banister. It was only a matter of time now, she hurriedly made her way to her room. Parts of her knew this was madness, the other parts couldn't care less. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out which parts were winning. She closed her door with a bang.

_***Flicker*** They were both slightly out of breath from running, Naomi closed the door behind them with a soft thud. She stood there for a second, not daring to turn to look at Emily. Her hand felt cold and lonely on the doorknob. The tension in the room was dripping of the walls, making it hard to breathe properly._

_"This is insane." She whispered and leaned her head to the door. The soft rustle of clothes right behind her announced that Emily had taken a step closer to her. _

_"I know." A husky voice purred behind her back as a hand snaked it's way around her waist. Goose bumps erupted up her arms and the need came back stronger then ever. She closed her eyes when she felt Emily take another step towards her, her body pressing up against her. It wasn't close enough, it could never be close enough. _

_She thought she had mastered it, thought she could outrun it, but the primal need rose in her. Her hand came up, covered Emily's linking their fingers together. She had thought she could forget about the intoxication of her touch. Forget about the way her heart skipped a beat every time they were near each other. She traced the hand with her thumb. Forget how her breath hitched. Forget the urge to return the touches, the looks, the moans. She might as well have convinced herself she had forgotten how to breathe, sooner or later she would always have to take another gulp of air._

_She suddenly spun around in Emily's embrace, needing more, always needing more. Their lips crashed together, making the ache in her chest feel less. The taste of her almost knocked her over and she was suddenly grateful for the door, even if the doorknob was digging its way into her back. Her hands landed on Emily's hips, drawing her closer of their own. The need was burning through her like wildfire. _

_She couldn't help the groan coming out when their tongues connected, the tiny step breaking her contact with the door. Her hands pushed at the shirt Emily was wearing, seeking skin. They dragged their way up Emily's back, clutching her even closer. Their mouths broke apart and she felt lips tracing the outline of her jaw, following it down to her neck. It was driving her mad, the amount of skin under her fingertips wasn't enough anymore. She dragged the shirt upwards and felt Emily willingly put her hands over her head._

_Her eyes traced the outline of the body that was being uncovered, watching it without being seen, as she drew the shirt off. A sense of awe washed over her and she struggled to keep it under control. To not let it show. She threw the shirt across the room, not caring where it landed and kissed the newly exposed skin hungrily. She felt Emily tug at her own clothes, her jacket suddenly disappearing, and raised her own hands allowing the shirt underneath to follow. _

_Their eyes connected sending a shiver down her spine. The look of raw lust in Emily's eyes was almost overwhelming and she knew that her own eyes was probably a mirror of the ones before her. She hurriedly bent down and kissed her, letting her tongue dart into the others mouth, exploring it. The taste stilled her head, made her heart pound against her chest. The scent of strawberries and freshly mowed grass hanging between them, making her groan at the shear power of it all. She heard Emily moan as her hand cupped her breast and almost groaned again. The bed came out of nowhere, she wasn't even aware that she had been moving towards it. Somehow it was Naomi who hit the back of her knees on it and made them fall on it with a oomph sound. _

_Emily laughed and the sound of it made her smile. "Why, Naomi Campbell, are you falling for me?" She asked with a mock innocence and a gleam in her eyes, wiping the smile off. She was straddling Naomi, pushing her further down into bed. She tried struggling against it, but Emily was deceptively strong. Naomi closed her eyes briefly, fear entering her mind for a second. The sudden kiss Emily laid on her collarbone made it disappear as quickly as it had come._

_The look she gave Emily must have answered her question, because the red head suddenly gulped. She used the momentary shift in power to flip her over. To reclaim those gasping lips. "No." A tiny voice in her head said as she felt Emily's hand unbuttoning her pants. "I've already fallen for you a long time ago." She unhooked Emily's bra in return, sliding it off her shoulder, laying down a trail of kisses in the straps wake. The fires consumed her, stopped all her thoughts except for one. Emily._

_"Emily." She gasped as she shimmied out of her pants, feeling her hands draw another trail of fire down her legs. Her own hands tangling themselves in the red hair, drawing her up so she could kiss her again. She let out a whimper as she felt their skin melting into each other. She couldn't even remember removing the rest of Emily's clothes. _

_"Emily." She breathed on to the hardened nipple under her mouth, before letting her tongue flick over it, making Emily seize her neck and draw her closer with a moan. She licked the skin, wanting to taste all of her. Her teeth clamped down on a piece of flesh just above the others heart. She felt it beat violently beneath her mouth. Felt Emily buck underneath her. It made her groan to think she had this effect on her. She watched as the mark faded when she brought her head up to look at the image of pure beauty under her, placing her hand over it after a while. She felt the heart pump frantically under it, and looked up so she could see the look in those chocolate brown eyes. Her free hand found one of Emily's and placed that over her own heart, the look of wonder that flashed over those earth shattering eyes made it beat harder._

_"Emily" She whispered as she nibbled on an earlobe, her arm burning from the effort of bringing her closer to her climax. She watched in awe as it happened. The body underneath her trembling from head to toe, the gasps parting her swollen lips. She felt shivers running through her own body as the fire seemed to spread up her arm. It made her feel invincible. _

_Brown eyes fluttered open and looked straight at her. An ocean of stars sped towards her as her own blue eyes connected to them. She shuddered as the magnitude of it all hit her. ***Flicker***_

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**Erm... Yes, well... *Shuffles feet* Told you it was fun to research :P And... umm... feel free to review and tell me how I managed to, should I say, fuck it up? *grins sheepishly***


	17. Not the only one

**A/N: I'm just gonna go ahead and blame the beers last night for this chapter. *Grins* It's not the chapter I intended to write so my chapter plans are pretty much thrown out the window. (At least as far as numbers go.). It also means a slight delay in Katie's "posh new club" plans. Ah well...**

**For Assassin; I hope everything turns out ok in the end. **

**Chapter 16: Not the only one.**

She stared at the ceiling for a moment, before getting out of bed. There was no memory of her ever getting into the bed in the first place. Her clothes was rumpled, her hair sticking out in all angles. She frowned at the image staring back at her from the mirror, expecting it to have changed, it hadn't though. A slightly thinner version of herself, compared to what she looked like in the flickers, was turning in front of it. Her clothes were different too, but that was for the better. She had no idea how she ever imagined that floral jacket would look good. Thanks to Effy that jacket was long since gone though, thrown out while they were going over her closet when she was trying to forget.

And there was the problem, forgetting. The images of Emily had been burned into her brain, tattooed on the back of her eyelids. She was all that was on her mind at times, always buzzing around her in every thing she did. It scared the crap out of her to be honest, terrified her to the core, but it was a small price to pay. She had her in her life like this, maybe not in the way that she would have wanted. Maybe not even in a way that would ever be considered sane, but she was there. Always there. She smiled vaguely to her mirror image at the thought, fear being banished to somewhere else, no longer an issue.

She pulled her hair into a ponytail, that was different too, longer and a paler shade of blonde. She hadn't been to the hairdresser for a while, so it was looking a bit worse for wear. There was a sense of anticipation about her movements, about the way her mind filed away the things she should get fixed, that didn't make sense to her. It was like time was running out. She frowned at the thought and dismissed it.

"Naomi?" The door opened behind her, she caught Effy's eyes in the mirror as she leaned against the doorframe. "Are you gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna help me with the shitload of boxes someone has dumped on the doorstep?"

"Oh crap, Eff. I forgot they came today." She turned and walked down the stairs, Effy following behind her. "My mum fixed it, she'll be home in a day or so. We're supposed to start packing up." She explained, shooting a apologetic look at the girl behind her.

"I figured since they were all empty." Came the sarcastic reply. Naomi just grinned and grabbed a couple of the boxes.

"Come on, little miss Know-it-all. We'll start in here." Effy smirked at the name, grabbing another pair of the boxes and followed Naomi in to the living room.

By the time they had finished packing down most of the living room, the room was getting dim. There was only a few things left on the shelves, some photo albums, a few pictures on the walls and some books still stacked against the corner. They both flopped down on the couch, basically at the same time.

"This is taking forever." Naomi sighed, rubbing her temples. "No wonder mum wanted us to start by ourselves. Sneaky old…" She let it drop and turned to look at Effy who was turning a book over in her hands, opening it to look inside. "What's with the book?"

"It's a photo album actually. And I was just wondering what the fuck this picture was all about." Effy held up the book, showing Naomi a picture. The picture was of Naomi when she was about 9, slung over the shoulder of a police man with a sign over her head that said 'Save the pigs'. It was evident that she was screaming her lungs out. She was wearing a shirt with a pig on it, so big she was drowning in it. The picture made her laugh.

"Oh Jesus, I'd forgotten about that." She said when she had caught her breath again, taking the book from Effy. "I think it was the third or fourth protest my mum took me to. Some big cosmetic company was trying out their make up on pigs, you know test animals and stuff? Anyways, the police came and tried to arrest everyone and I tried to run, this guy scooped me up and slung me over his shoulder." She pointed to the police man. "This picture actually saved my mum from going to jail, she was screaming about police brutality and mistreatment of minors. It was really funny actually, cause the guy put me down in seconds and gave me a lollipop, hardly police brutality. But the picture sort of tells another story." She grinned. "I still have that t-shirt somewhere." Her mind went to the flicker she'd had at the lake and swallowed.

"Always the rebel, eh Naoms?" Effy said, grinning at her. She didn't show any sign of noticing the way Naomi's grin had faltered at the memory of her flicker. "Come on, let's get this over with." Effy stood up and made her loose her train of thought. "I found a bottle of vodka behind some books, we can have a drink when we're done. You look like you need one." Apparently she had noticed after all.

"I like the way you think, Stonem." Naomi grinned back up at her, getting back off the couch and stuffing the photo album into one of the boxes they had labelled pictures. "Any chance we can have a beer now?" Effy just grinned in reply and Naomi went to get a couple bottles from the fridge. She needed it to get some of those damn thoughts of a half naked Emily out of her head.

_***Flicker*** "You don't have to do this." Emily's voice was quiet in her ears, the husky tone to it sending shivers down her spine. She looked back with a reassuring smile. Emily looked insecure and she took her hand, loving the way it sent electric jolts up her arm._

_"I thought it was what you wanted." She said, dragging her closer, kissing the top of her head. Emily snuggled into her arms, it felt like she belonged there._

_"I do want this, but…" She murmured into her shirt._

_"No buts, we're telling her when she gets home." Emily looked up at her and Naomi felt herself get lost in those eyes for a second, she still looked worried. She leant down to kiss all her worries away, too bad it didn't work on herself for more then the duration of the kiss. ***Flickers***_

She stood there for a second, staring at the insane looking ceramic cat she had been about to place in a box. Shaking her head a little, she put it on top of the box and turned to see Effy looking at her. That look in her eyes were back, like she was far away herself. She had a weird smile on her face, almost dreamy. It was gone in a moment, almost like she had imagined it, a loopy smirk replacing it.

"I think that was the last of it in here. All the big stuff are being handled by some firm, can't remember the name of it now." She said, ignoring the questions she had about that look. She flopped down on the sofa again, the place looked empty without all the clutter and without the pictures and posters on the walls. "How bout that drink?"

"Way ahead of you." Effy said with a smirk, producing two glasses from a shelf already filled with vodka. "You want some sort of mixer? I think I saw some orange juice in the fridge." She handed one of the glasses to Naomi.

"Nah, I'll just drink it like this." Naomi said, taking a gulp of the liquid. "But you can get an ashtray though." She added with a grin, setting the glass down on the table already filled with quite a few empty beer bottles.

"Anything else, my queen?" Effy asked with a raised eyebrow and was rewarded with a flying sofa cushion aimed at her head. It missed, much to Naomi's disappointment. "Someone needs to work on their aim." Effy joked, throwing the cushion back. It hit Naomi in the face. Laughing at the swearing behind her, she went to get the ashtray.

The night progressed as the vodka bottle started to empty. Naomi wasn't sure how many she'd had at this point, but she was pleasantly buzzed and listening to Effy tell her about how Panda and Thomas first met. Her own laughter was ringing through the living room, Effy trying to finish her story between fits of laughter herself.

They were both slightly out of breath when she felt another flicker creep up on her, Effy's laughter stilled in a moment, her eyes focused on a point above her head. Naomi sighed, feeling the familiar flashes of red take over.

"Tell me what you see." Effy suddenly said, face serious, grabbing a hold of her hand. Naomi stared at her a moment, feeling the flicker hover between them, wondering if she should lie or tell her. "Tell me the truth." Effy interjected as she opened her own mouth.

"Fine." Naomi said with another sigh. "For more then a year now, I've been seeing things." She looked nervously at Effy who just nodded. "Or no, that's not quite right. I've been having these…" She drew a deep breath. "Flickers." She told her everything as she held the flicker back. Effy never asked a question, just let her talk. She even told her what her flicker was as she finally let it settle.

_***Flicker*** The music suddenly changing, made them break apart all too sudden. The bouncy castle wobbled under them as they both stood up abruptly. Neither looked at the other, but their hands were still touching, sending waves of electricity between them._

_"I think Katie's footballer may have crashed the party." She heard Emily say, she sounded nervous. Naomi dared a quick glance at her, almost jumping when their eyes met. She cleared her throat, trying to find something to say._

_"Well." She said after what felt like en eternity, finally managing to drag her eyes away from Emily's. "I think that means the party is over. I'm gonna go." She started walking towards the opening in the bouncy castle, but felt Emily's hand close over her arm._

_"Wait." The hand dropped, leaving Naomi's arm tingling. "I mean… Ehh… Do you have to go? We could go to a pub, or swipe a bottle of something and…" The sentence trailed off when Naomi didn't turn back._

_"Emily…" She said, with a pained note in her voice. Something inside her was growling, telling her to get away. To run, now. "I think I'll just go home." She glanced over her shoulder and saw the determined set of her face. "Alone." She added, making Emily seem to sag down a bit, lose her resolve. She looked away again, her insides squirming._

_She climbed out of the bouncy castle without looking back, couldn't face the disappointed look she was sure was burning a hole in her ridiculous pyjama top. "Bye." She heard her softly say behind her. She closed her eyes for a moment, every fibre of her wanting to run back and continue kissing her. She pushed it down and kept walking. It got easier the further away she got.***Flicker***_

"Are they all so…" Effy started, faltering in the middle, obviously looking for something to say.

"Conflicted? Messed up? Completely insane?" Naomi offered with a small smile.

Effy slapped her arm. "No, you idiot. I was gonna say real. I mean you're describing everything down to the sounds you hear and thoughts you have." She was looking at Naomi with real interest, making her squirm a bit.

"I suppose." She shrugged. "Some used to hit me harder then others, but these days they all seem to be the same intensity. I just figured it was because I let go and let them come." She knocked back the rest of her vodka, wanting to forget it all again. Maybe she'd even forget telling Effy, highly unlikely though it was. "I'm going to bed."

"You're pretty good at that." Effy said, making her stop as she made her way up the stairs. She turned and looked at her and saw the small smile on her friends face. "Running away that is." Naomi flipped her off with a grin and continued up the stairs, while Effy was laughing softly behind her.

She woke the next day with what felt like en entire construction crew at work in her head. Groaning, she tried opening her eyes. It felt like something had crawled in to her mouth and died. She grabbed the glass from her nightstand, grateful that she'd remembered to fill it before she went to bed the night before. She took a big gulp and felt the coolness of the water run down the back of her throat. She groaned again as parts of her conversation with Effy drifted back through the haze of her hangover.

"Jesus." She mumbled, grabbing some clothes from the floor. She had to go talk to her, had to explain it all.

She swayed slightly, feeling her stomach grumble, but first she needed the bathroom. Deciding on a bath, she let the taps run. Remembering that they had low pressure, her mum had never had it fixed, she turned on the shower instead and let that run. She felt herself sway again and figured she probably had time to get some food. Assuming Effy was still sleeping, like she usually did after a night of drinking, she put on the t-shirt and headed to the kitchen. She would have to talk to Effy though, maybe she could make her coffee or…

"What the hell?" Her train of thought was interrupted as she walked in on Effy in what looked like a very passionate embrace with someone on the kitchen counter. The pair froze when they heard her voice from the door. There was something familiar about the high heeled shoes and pair of tights that was wrapped around Effy's waist, she couldn't see the rest of the person.

"I thought you were in the shower." Effy said sheepishly, not turning to look at Naomi.

"Obviously." She snorted in reply. Suddenly her hung-over brain snapped the pieces into place. "KATIE?" She half way screamed, wincing as the pounding in her head was made worse by her own voice. Katie ducked out from behind Effy, looking terrified. Naomi suddenly found the entire situation completely hilarious and started laughing.

"It's not FUNNY." Katie yelled, looking absolutely shell shocked. The sight only made Naomi laugh harder, she noticed that Effy's shoulders were shaking silently too. She obviously found it just as funny too.

"Oh, come on Katie." She said in-between fits of laughter. "You have to admit this is fucking hysterical! I mean the number of times you've called me a lezzer?" She snorted again as she remember the first time she had talked to Katie. "And I distinctly remember you saying something about being the straight twin." She tried to force her face in to something that looked like indignation, but couldn't seem to stop herself from grinning like an idiot.

"For fucks sake." Katie said, her lips starting to twitch a bit too. "Just don't tell anyone, alright?" She extracted herself from Effy who turned around, desperately avoiding Naomi's eyes and still shaking with suppressed laughter.

"I don't know, just imagine Cook's face if he ever found out." Katie laughed at the thought, which in turn make Effy finally burst with laughter too. "Of course I'm not gonna tell anyone." She adds as the laughter dies down. "That's your choice, not mine." To her surprise, Katie hugs her. "Oi! Just because you've figured out you like fannies too, doesn't mean you get to grope me whenever you feel like it."

"Don't get any ideas, lezzer." Katie shot back defiantly, obviously regaining her composure. She said it with a twinkle in her eyes though. "And don't think I'm gonna stop calling you that." They grinned at each other. "I have to go, or they'd be wondering where I am." She turned and looked at Effy. "Follow me to the door?" Effy nodded. They left a still chuckling Naomi standing in the kitchen.

Later, as she was taking her bath, she remembered the way Effy was looking at Katie. It had looked an awful lot like love, the thought made her smile. Apparently she wasn't the only one who was in love with a Fitch twin.

_***Flicker*** It took her a week to realize. One week of constant smoking at breaks. One week of seeing her around school. One week of trying to figure out why the world stopped turning whenever their eyes met. One week before it hit her._

_She was in love with someone she had never even talked to. Someone she'd never expected to be in love with. She had never expected to be in love period._

_"This isn't fair!" She whispered to her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "It just isn't fair. I don't even know her name." Her reflection just stared back at her with tears running down her face. ***Flicker***_

_**

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**_**I still blame the beer for this one. And maybe the persons supplying the beer... Ah well. *Grins***

**Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter (and story alerts, etc.) they were all really lovely :D**


	18. Beating hearts

**A/N: Joint chapter with Effy :D It's a bit different again, and I'm not sure about the formatting. Just so we're all clear, first person = Effy. Third person = Naomi. **

**Got it? Good, here we go then :D**

**Oh, just one more thing: the flickers are ALWAYS Naomi's, unless I tell you otherwise.**

**Chapter 17: Beating hearts.**

_Thump thump._

The feeling hadn't stopped all day. She cocked her head to the side and just listened to the heartbeats ticking away inside her. Like a countdown. Like something inside her was waiting, counting down the seconds. It had been three days since she had told Effy about her flickers. Two, since she had walked in on Katie and her on the kitchen counter. One, since her mother had come back and they had moved into the new house. Less then 12 hours since she had been woken up by the incessant thumping in her chest. It was starting to drive her insane.

She had tried ignoring it at first, tried willing it away. It hadn't worked. So when that master plan had failed, she had tried keeping herself as busy as she could. One hair cut, two pairs of shoes and a dress later, she still hadn't managed to shake the rather unpleasant feeling. Something was coming, something huge, and somehow she didn't think it had anything to do with the night Katie had planned.

The club was already packed, people waiting in line outside was grumbling as she and Effy was ushered passed them all and in the VIP entrance. Thomas was beaming to them at the door, giving them both a hug as they got closer. She looked around, the place was huge and every last bit of it was filled with people.

"I'm gonna go get some drinks!" She shouted over the music at Effy, not sure if the other heard her or not. She touched her arm and pointed to the bar instead, receiving a nod and a vague waving of a direction. She nodded back and made her way to the bar, squeezing her way through the throng of people. The music almost drowned out the sound of her heart beating in her ears, but she could still feel it. A flash of red caught her eyes, but as soon as she turned it was lost somewhere in the crowd. She shook her head slightly, and turned back to the bar.

_***Flicker*** The music was pumping through her, humming along her skin. She felt a pair of arms circle her waist and smiled as she felt lips connect with her naked back. They sent a familiar shiver down her spine, she leaned back into the embrace._

_"Did you miss me?" A husky voice managed to murmur in her ears. She wasn't sure how she even heard it over the music, it was so quiet. Maybe she just knew what the other would say, maybe she had just imagined it, she didn't really care either way._

_She turned her head so that her mouth was right next to her ears. "I always miss you." She murmured back. "But my girlfriend will be here any second so you better go." She bit the earlobe gently, punctuating her words, grinning against her. She felt the other girl shiver, before she received a playful slap on her arm._

_"Well, in that case I should go." She felt the other step back, letting go of her. Before the hand left her hip though, she had grabbed it and turned around, pulling Emily into a kiss. She could feel the other smiling into it, before their tongues connected and the world melted away around them._

_"You're not going anywhere." She said when they broke apart, foreheads connected, brown and blue eyes gazing into the other. "At least not without me." She added with a grin as she felt Emily's hands slide up the naked skin on her back. ***Flicker***_

_**

* * *

**_

I've been watching her since she's told me about what she sees. It was a shock to hear how far it had gone, but she seems calmer now. The lights around her, within her, are more stable these days. Shimmering just below the surface of her. They make me calmer, make my demons shut up. The way she talks about the ripples, no, her flickers, is amazing. There is so much love in her voice when she talks about her, the way she almost caresses the name, it leaves me in awe.

I wanted to tell her about me and Katie. I really did, but as soon as she was done telling me her story, she ran. There just wasn't a chance to talk about it before she walked in on us in the kitchen. To be honest, I'm not really sure how it all happened in the first place. I mean, one minute I was talking with Katie, the next I was somehow kissing her, lifting her up on the kitchen counter. I don't know where it would have gone if Naomi hadn't interrupted it, a part of me is glad she did. I don't want to scare Katie away, and I think she would have run. I want it, I really do want it, but I want her to want it too. Before Katie left, she told me something, something that made me smile.

The sense of something coming is rolling off Naomi in waves. I'm not sure what it is that makes me think it, maybe the colours surrounding her. They have never looked like this before, I should know, I've been watching them for an entire school year. It's like their pulsating, throbbing in time with her heartbeats. It makes her look more radiant, lights shooting out of her like that. Always red, always golden brown. They're breathtaking.

She makes her way to the bar, and I watch in amusement as she ignores the lustful stares in her wake. She really has no idea, doesn't even think about it. I walk towards the sofas I spotted earlier, the crowd seem to part before me for a split second and I see her. I cast a quick glance back towards Naomi and see her stare in the same direction, before she dismisses it. Colours suddenly leap from her, seeking out something to connect with. I stare in amazement as they fly across the room.

* * *

_Thump thump._

Drinks in hand, she went to find Effy. The only problem is that it's so damned packed in here that finding anyone is damn near impossible. Her heartbeats still bugs her, still make her feel like there is something coming. She follows the waved out direction and grins as she spots Effy already in a sofa. There are probably ten guys around her, but she's busy texting someone on her phone.

"Here!" She shouts as she puts the drink down in front of her. "You can go next time, it's a bloody nightmare trying to get back and forth in here!" Effy looks up at her with a grin, waving her phone at her.

"Katie's here somewhere, and I think I saw Cook a minute ago. Want to go find them, or just stay here and hope they find us?" She hears Effy shout back at her. She doesn't answer her though, just plops down in the sofa next to her, taking a sip of her drink. There is no way she's giving up these seats, maybe when she's had a bit more to drink, but for now it's perfect. Effy just smirked at her, sipping her own drink.

She has no idea where all the drinks have come from, but the one she's drinking is probably her fifth, she's not sure though. They started appearing soon after she was halfway through her first, and kept on coming as the night progressed. An over-enthusiastic Panda had joined them somewhere around their second or third free drink. She had unceremoniously squeezed herself down between Effy and a guy trying to hit on her, grabbed his drink from the table and chugged it in one go. He had been a bit pissed off at her, but he had already gotten the message that Effy wasn't interested and left soon after, grumbling something about crazy people. It had made Effy and Naomi collapse in a fit of giggles, especially when Panda had looked at him like he was the crazy one.

The crowd on the dance floor seemed to spit out a grinning Cook, who already looked like he had drunk his way through most of the contents of the bar. His grin grew impossibly wider as he saw the three of them. He quickly made his way towards them, practically pushing people out of the way.

"Come on, Blondie." There was no problem hearing his booming voice over the noise in the place. "Come dance with the Cookiemonster!" He grabbed her hand before she had a chance to say anything, and started to drag her towards the dance floor. She shot an apologetic stare over her shoulder at Effy and Panda. They just laughed at her and pointed to the DJ booth where Thomas had just taken over, indicating that they were going up there. She nodded to say that she had gotten the message, before the crowd swallowed her and Cook.

The so-called dancing turned out to be a lot of jumping around, before they started doing the cheesiest dance moves they could think about. Howling with laughter at Cook who was doing some sort of a boy-band impression, she felt a tug on her arm and looked over. Katie was shouting something at her, but she wasn't sure what. She shook her head, trying to indicate that she hadn't heard her. Finally figuring out that she was looking for someone, she pointed to the DJ booth, assuming it was Effy she was after. She laughed again as the gratefulness in Katie's face was turned into disgust as Cook suddenly decided to rub up against her.

She turned her attention back to Cook who was now doing something that looked like a cross between some sort of a fit, and lewd gesture, somehow rolled into one. She threw her head back and laughed again, making him jump closer to her, grinning back. He grabbed her firmly around the waist and twirled her around, a flash of red somewhere made her laugh stop. She looked around confused for a minute, but there was nothing, only Cook holding up a pill in front of her. She didn't think twice as she took it and swallowed it. Her heart still thudded heavily in her chest.

_***Flicker*** She felt like she was drowning, not getting air. It was getting worse by the minute. She knew what she had to do, but she just couldn't face it. There was no denying that there was an attraction any more, no denying that what she felt was love. God knew she had tried hard enough to suppress it._

_She leaned against the cool surface of the mirror in front of her. Why was it that whenever she came to these realisations, she found herself in front of a mirror? It was like she was looking for the answers to the questions she hadn't even dared ask, in her own eyes. They stayed silent though, unreadable._

_"Oh, sorry." She heard a low husky voice behind her say. She closed her eyes for a second, trying to will away the person behind her. Instead she heard the door close and someone move fully into the room._

_"Please, just go away." She heard herself whisper, barely audible even to her self. It sounded pathetic, pleading, she didn't like it. She was meant to be pushing her away, to make herself forget it had ever happen. Meant to be living with the heartache of it all, alone. It might not be the best of plans, but it was hers. The only problem was that the person behind her refused to let her, held her in her place with barely any effort._

_"Are you ok, Naomi?" The voice was closer, if she reached out now, she could have touched her. Slowly, she raised her head from the mirror and opened her eyes. Blue eyes found warm brown ones, without even searching, like they knew where they would be. They always seemed to know._

_She felt herself take a shaky breath, felt the air finally rush into her lungs. "Emily…" The rest wouldn't come. ***Flickers***_

_**

* * *

**_

The DJ booth is elevated, and I can easily find her and Cook on the dance floor. They have a circle all to themselves, thanks to Cook's earlier jumping around. I think she took a pill and it has kicked in, because she keeps trailing her fingers in the air, creating patterns in her swirl of colours. I don't really care what she does, I know it's only to numb the pain I can see in her eyes. The pain she thinks she's hidden from the rest of the world. It always disappears right before she sees the flickers, but returns with a vengeance when they are over. I know that's the worst part of it for her, coming back out, realizing that Emily isn't there.

At first I think it's the strobe lights causing it, but as I frown and look closer I can see that it's not. The red is streaking out of her, rushing towards its counterpart. Like gravity, or maybe like magnets, they seek each other out. They dance together, shooting towards the sky, blue and red. I follow the new light with my eyes, finally finding her.

She looks so small, a bit uncertain of herself. Freddie is next to her, making her look even tinier. She must be on something too, because she can't seem to take her eyes of the spot where the lights break through the ceiling. I don't know if they only see their own lights, or if they can see them both. They both cast glances in the general direction of where the other is. It fascinates me. It's like they know the other is there, but doesn't know at the same time.

I watch them start to inch closer to each other, both dancing without any inhibitions anymore. They are definitely both on something, and judging by their company, probably the same something. There is still a sea of people separating them, still enough time to stop them. I want them to meet, but not like this. Never like this. They would be too drunk to even remember more then bits and pieces.

I keep my eyes on them for another few minutes, the people between them are growing fewer. The outlines of blue and gold around Emily seem to pulse in and out in time with Naomi's bursts of red and golden brown. If people weren't moving in front of them the way they are, they would have seen each other a long time ago. I let out a sigh as I move to intercept them, I know Naomi will kill me if she ever finds out.

* * *

_Thump thump_

She follows the red lights with her eyes, watches as they collide with a blue one. The blue looks familiar, and she frowns at it for a second, watching as they dance towards the ceiling. They pulsate with the same urgency she feels her heart beat with. The pill Cook gave her must have been laced with some sort of hallucinogenic, she decides as the lights break through the barrier keeping them from reaching the sky.

Suddenly Effy is in front of her. Grinning, she gives her a hug. Effy wordlessly leads her out of the crowd of sweating people. Leading her towards a side door, with one last look at the brilliant lights trailing her, she steps out in to the cool night air. A lit cigarette is placed gently between her lips, and she looks up seeing Effy smile at her.

"We're going home now." Effy says after a while, her own cigarette is almost finished. Naomi looks down at her own and sees that there is nothing left of it. She tosses the bud on the ground. Effy is looking at her phone, cursing slightly, when she looks back up.

"What's wrong?" She asks as Effy suddenly grabs her hand and drags her from the alleyway.

"Nothing. I just want to get home." Effy tells her, she can tell she's lying, she keeps casting nervous glances behind her. Naomi follows her, doesn't really have a choice. She looks back to see what she is looking at and for a split second before they round the corner, her eyes meet a pair of golden brown ones. Her heart seems to stumble.

_Thu-thump._

_***Flicker*** "Will you stay with me?" Her voice sounds weird in her own ears. She stares in to the eyes of the one next to her, feeling her heart do an extra flip. She nervously plays with the ring on her middle finger as she waits for the answer._

_"No, I intend to walk home in the middle of the bloody night." Emily answers with a grin. "Of course I'm staying." She feels herself smile back, relief flooding her body. ***Flicker***_

The realization of what she has seen doesn't hit her before she is in her bed. She knows it was her, knows Effy knew it too. It was why she had dragged her home, she just wasn't sure why.

Sleeps takes her over, images of Emily floating peacefully behind her eyes. By the time morning comes, she has forgotten ever having seen Emily the night before. She's forgotten most of the night, period. Erased by sleep, too many drinks and a pill. The feeling of something ticking away within her, counting down, returns.

_Thump thump._

_

* * *

_

I sit and watch her the next day, see the pain is back in her eyes. I feel guilty, but they shouldn't meet like that. They deserve better. I almost tell her I've seen her though, just to give her some hope, but at the end I keep my mouth shut. She needs to find her, Emily, in her own time. I hope for her sake it's soon. Actually, I hope for _both_ their sake it's soon.

As the world ripples around her again, I take her hand.

_

* * *

_

***Ducks for cover* Umm... Sorry people... *grins nervously* **

**I hope the jumping back and forward between viewpoints didn't confuse you too much, that I managed to make it clear when they were switching. Let me know if not.**

**If you want to read something light and fluffy now, you know, less confusing. I suggest you give SummerSkins' Sunsets and Broken Dreams a go. :D **


	19. Sucker punch

**A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry... Got a bit caught up in real life, other things (otherwise known as writers block, just a small one...) and reading the brilliant ending to Avalanche. If anyone still haven't read it, shame on you. Now go read that first, and get back to me. Go on, I can wait.**

**If you've already done what I asked, feel free to carry on here. :D**

**Chapter 18: Sucker punch.**

This wasn't happening. It so wasn't happening! She closed her eyes for a second, letting her brain run over the details that had led up to this moment.

The day had started like any other, Effy had woken her up with a mug of coffee, her mother had prattled on about her latest cause as she had made toast. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing indicating this was going to happen. Her stomach felt like it was on a rollercoaster, spiralling down as fast as it could go. Time had crawled to a standstill, letting her think over the rest of it. Decide if this was real or just some cruel trick.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, birds were chirping. She smiled as she watched Effy running around like a headless chicken, looking for her cell phone, swearing every now and then. The little park they were sitting in was full of people. Kids running around, screaming their heads off, mothers and fathers yelling for them to be quiet, couples lounging around while gazing lovingly into each others eyes. A triumphant exclamation made her look up from her daydreams.

"So you found it then?" She asked, watching as Effy read something and started typing out a text. "What does Katie have to say for herself?" She grinned, not doubting that the mindless smile was because of who she was texting.

"Who said it was Katie?" Effy replied, looking up from her phone. Naomi just raised an eyebrow at her. "Alright, alright. She wants me to come meet her. Something about a dinner tonight? You're invited too, by the way." She looked back down on her phone, continuing to type.

"And watch the two of you go at it again? I don't think so. Got a good enough visual the first time, I don't really need another one." She grinned at Effy as she saw the head snap up and met those eyes that seemed like they could see right through her. Her face was priceless, a mixture of shock, worry and a tiny little bit of something she couldn't quite define. She couldn't blame her though, they hadn't really talked about it, Katie and her.

"Look, Naomi…" Effy looked away for a second, probably trying to gather her thoughts. Naomi stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. "I never really said thank you for not telling anyone. Not that I thought you would, but Katie has been worried." Effy drew what looked like a shaky breath. "She doesn't want anyone to know yet. Probably ashamed of me or something." A sad smile played on her lips, she looked a bit fragile.

"That's just bullshit Eff, she's not ashamed of you! Have you seen the way she looks at you? The way she lights up when you come into the room? Jesus, even if I hadn't walked in on the two of you, I would still think she liked you." She thought about her statement for a moment, cutting Effy off as she opened her mouth. "No, I would think she loved you."

Effy looked at her as she had gone insane, her mouth opening and closing a few times before finally finding her words again. "Yeah, doesn't change the fact that she won't tell anyone about us. That she doesn't even look at me twice when anyone else is around." She sounded like she was close to giving up. Naomi frowned.

"Listen to me." Effy was still looking away from her. Touching her arm, forcing her to look back, she continued. "She's scared. Think about it, Eff. She's been drifting around from guy to guy for as long as I can remember. I might not have known her, but I did watch her. She has never, ever, looked at anyone the way she looks at you. She just doesn't know what to do about it, give her time and talk to her."

"When did you become all smart and shit?" Effy asked after a while and received a light punch on her arm in return. "You're coming to dinner." Naomi tried to protest. "No, before you tell me you have no intentions on ruining my date or whatever you want to call it, you should know that it's already ruined. Everyone is coming already. Truth is I forgot to tell you about it the other day. Please don't tell Katie?" The last part was almost pleading and made Naomi laugh.

"Fine!" She threw up her hands in mock surrender. "I'll come. When, where and what do I wear?"

She left the park shortly after Effy had said goodbye, the blanket they had sat on was under her arm. Not really thinking about anything in particular, she just watched the people around her as she walked. Something made her turn, a tingling erupted down her spine as she could have sworn she saw red hair turning around a corner behind her.

_***Flicker*** The light hit Emily's hair, making it seem like it was on fire. She couldn't look away as she was moving through the crowd, eyes fixed on the small girl weaving her way towards her. She could turn away, run in another direction, her feet stayed rooted to the spot. She hoped the look on her face was cloaked by the dark club and flashing lights, she was pretty sure it was one of pure adoration._

_"Hey." Emily purred as she got closer, her husky voice sent shivers down her spine. The alcohol in her veins felt like ice compared to the warmth she felt when hearing that one little word. She swallowed._

_"Hey." She managed to croak back after a while. Her mind feeling like it was wading through slush. Now that she was closer, she saw the way the other girl was swaying slightly on the spot, the way her pupils were dilated almost to a point that the warm brown colour was gone. She drew a relieved breath. Drunk, she was drunk. This would make it easier._

_"Do you want to dance?" Emily asked, slurring slightly, but still with that maddening husky voice. She never answered her though, just took the outstretched arm and followed as she was dragged to the dance floor. Relishing in the way electricity seemed to crackle between them._

_She realized as the red head pushed their bodies, pushing herself closer together, that she would have followed her anywhere. ***Flicker***_

She blinked as sunlight broke through the dimness of the club. There was no sign of anyone with red hair around her, she felt her stomach drop. Shaking her head, she turned back and continued walking towards home. Of course it had been a flicker, what else could it have been?

The walk home was mostly uneventful after that. No more flickers, no more flashes of red hair disappearing around corners. She let out a breath when she got through the front doors, feeling like a weight had been lifted. She hadn't realized how tense she had gotten on the walk home. She didn't have long to relax though, a phone call from Effy saw to that. Sighing she dropped the blanket in her room, and headed back out for the bottle of wine she had been told to get.

There was something about the way the wind rushed through the trees that made her mind wander as she walked towards town again. She should probably get Katie something else too, like flowers or maybe she could pick up some snacks. Her eyes fall on the rows of rosebushes she passes, each one more filled with flowers then the other. Flowers it is then. Again something tugs at her, making her turn her head. The red she sees ducking in to a shop is more brilliant then the colours of the roses she just saw. Her breath gets caught in her chest, but before she can shake it off she drifts into a flicker.

_***Flicker*** She stubbed out her fifth or sixth cigarette in half an hour. Before the smoke has stopped whirling up from the last one, she lights another. The nicotine does nothing to ease the feeling of complete desolation. This was exactly why she couldn't let herself go completely when she was around her. She was powerless against it._

_Images of her kissing someone else, some random slut in their backyard still burns in her mind. The feeling of being suffocated returned without mercy, the hand that brings her cigarette every now and then to her lips, shakes. She watches as the smoke unfurls and drifts slowly up towards the sky, feels her still wet clothes cling to her body._

_The look Emily shot her after telling everyone what she did, whips across her mind. She should let go, let her go. Her back is already turned on the house they live in, it would be so easy to walk away. So easy, and still she can't move._

_She tosses the cigarette angrily to the ground, grinds it out with her heel. She wants to scream, howl and throw herself to the ground. Nothing comes out though. She turns back to the house that's looming behind her. Takes a deep breath as she reaches the door._

_She meets Emily's accusing stare, she's standing at the top of their staircase. For one fleeting moment she can see the relief in them, the love they once shared. Her eyes drop to the ground as the stare becomes hard again, but it was there. One tiny glimmer of it, she grabs hold of it. Clinging to the only thing she has left._

_Hope. ***Flicker***_

Before the last feeling fades from her, she's moving towards the shop. Crossing the road with out even looking to see if the coast is clear. A car screeching to a halt in front of her makes her flinch, but she just flips off the driver and continues. As she reaches the door, she can't help the fluttering feeling that still hangs in the air around her. Hope.

The bell above the door jingles softly. It's a flower shop she realizes with amazement, the place is empty except for a bored looking woman behind the counter. The feeling she had held on to, disappears without a trace. She picks up a bouquet of some random flowers, pays and leaves through the side door. Only a flicker, a flash of red, of course it had been. Nothing else it could have been, right?

She picked up a few bottles of wine on her way home. The warmth seemed to have been drained from the day, the colours fading seeming bleak. The house was empty when she got back, her mother was probably off somewhere with Kieran. They were getting on really well, and there was even talk of them going away. The thought lifted some of the bleakness from the air. Her mother deserved some happiness.

The doorbell rang and the banging door announced that someone had just walked in. She frowned and peered out from her bedroom, still only half dressed. She was meant to be at Katie's in less then an hour. Not that she really wanted to go, but she felt she had no choice.

"Blondie!" A familiar voice boomed through the house. "Where the fuck are you?" She heard the shuffling of feet up the stairs and struggled to get the shirt over her head before he got to her room. "No need to get dressed for my sake." She could hear the leer in his voice, and smiled as she turned to greet him.

"Fuck you, Cook." She said in the sweetest voice she could muster up, making him laugh. "What are you doing here? I'm almost on my way out." She took in the way he looked. "Are going dressed like that?" Her eyes scanned the dirty jeans and stained polo shirt.

"You know you love me." He answered with a grin. "And who gives a fuck how I'm dressed? I just came to see if you and Eff fancied a pint." He looked at her expectantly as she reached out and picked up her vest.

"Umm, I think Katie would have a problem with how you dress, not exactly dinner party wear. You know?" She put the vest on, looking at him like he had lost his marbles. "We have to be there in about an hour, you should go home and get changed. I'd help you, but somehow I don't think she'd find the image of you dressed in a dress as funny as I do." She grinned at him.

The look on his face gave nothing away. "Right, Katie's dinner party. Forgot that was today. At her house, yeah?" He asked frowning slightly.

"That's what Effy told me, so I guess." She shrugged, looking over to the table were the flowers she had bought stood. "I got those, you think that was right? I've never really been to a dinner party. I also got some wine." She frowned at the colourful bunch of flowers. "Tell you what, I'll wait for you here and we can go together. How's that?" She smiled over her shoulder at Cook, he smiled back.

Cook showed up on her door almost exactly an hour later, still in a polo shirt, but a clean one this time. He was carrying a box that he refused to tell her what was in, only mumbling something about it being polite. They walked arm in arm, not really minding that they were already late, a few more minutes wouldn't calm Katie. She and Effy had already texted her several times about her lateness. She shook her head slightly, they were an odd pair, but they worked.

"Finally!" The door flew open before they could knock. To her surprise Katie actually gave her a hug. "What's he doing here." Was the first thing out of her mouth when she let go of a startled Naomi.

"Aww, feeling the love here Katiekins." He grinned at her as she huffed. "And here I even went and got you a present." He waved the box at her still grinning like a loon. Naomi shook her head when Katie whipped her head around and glared at her.

"Don't look at me Katie, he never told me you didn't invite him. I just assumed that when Effy said the gang, she meant him too." She pointed a thumb in Cook's general direction. "Besides he got you a cake." She grinned at the incredulous stare Katie shot at Cook.

"Nah babe, this ain't no stinking cake. It's a fucking gateau!" He whipped the lid off the box, showing them the content. "Black forest!" He looked so much like an overgrown kid, bouncing up and down, that even Katie had a hard time not smiling at him.

She seemed to consider them both, glancing at the cake once, at the flowers in Naomi's hand. "Alright." They grinned at each other, before Katie's voice made them look at her a bit guiltily. "But any funny business from you." She pointed at Cook. "And you're both out of here. Deal?" She glared at them, they nodded. Cook winked at her as Katie turned her back.

Her heart started thudding as she stepped over the threshold, she could feel a tugging in her chest. Trying to shake it off she grinned at the rest of the people in the living room as they all greeted her. Effy stood up and walked towards her, her face looked pained and pale, almost ghostly.

The thudding got louder as Katie stepped back into the room. "Right, I asked you all here because I wanted you to meet someone." Naomi's chest clenched. "I was going to do this at the club a couple of nights ago, but…" Time slowed, the rest of her words became white noise as the blood started to pound in her ears.

Effy was suddenly besides her, gripping her arm, she gripped back. She watched as Katie waved her arm out pointing to the stairs somewhere behind Naomi. This wasn't happening. She could feel the air rush out of her as she turned.

_***Flicker*** She watched as Emily dropped the last shoe on the floor. She looked stunning, her hair in disarray from the fight, a bruise forming under her eye. It didn't matter, she always looked breathtaking._

_"You have to understand Katie." She heard her say, pleading with her twin. "I love you and I'll never really leave you, but I can't fix this." She looked so lost that Naomi wanted to run to her, take her away from all of this. Wanted to run away with her, wanted her to stop talking. She could see where this was headed. Fear began creeping in._

_"I like girls… No, I like _a_ girl… No…" Emily looked for the words to explain how she felt. Naomi wanted to tell her to stop, but parts of her wanted to hear the words. Hear what she already knew in her heart to be true. She heard the buzzing of the crowd grow._

_"I _love_ her. Ok?" She was searching for something in her twins face, Naomi wished she would look at her, as if she had heard her Emily looked up and meet her stare. "I love _her._" Her hand lifted and pointed straight at her. Someone gasped as she felt her hand rise on its own, wanting to grab hold of the hand that was extended at her._

_Her heart was soaring in her chest, fear clawing at her insides. She loved her. ***Flicker***_

"…my sister Emily." She hadn't notice Katie coming up besides her, steering her towards the place her heart was already tugging her to. She heard Effy whisper something about lights, and something about being sorry. She shot her a confused look, before looking back towards where Katie was leading her.

Blue eyes met brown and as she heard the husky hello she was offered, the same voice echoed in her head. "I love _her_." She felt the air rush out of her again, as if someone had punched her.

* * *

**I think I'll just be over here... *whistles* **

******The next chapter will actually have them talking to each other, aren't you excited? I know I am... :P**


	20. Burning ice

**A/N: First of all, thank you for all the reviews. I appreciate it. :D Even if some of you over think things, you know who you are... :P**

**Secondly: It's bloody late/early so if there is any pesky mistakes, I blame it on that. Oh and of course the standard default about me being Norwegian. *Waves to the norwegian readers* **

**Everyone ready? Alright then, here we go.**

**Chapter 19: Burning ice.**

"You knew, didn't you?" She spat the words out, a quiet menace behind them. She felt like screaming it at the top of her lungs, wanted to smash something. The sink felt cool under her hands, she was holding on to it with all her strength, knuckles strained and white. She hadn't even looked up when the door had opened, knew she would follow, try to explain. She felt a bitter smile tug at her lips and let it come out. This was a fucking nightmare.

"Naomi…" She heard the word, heard the faltering voice and knew there would be more. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the rage she felt rampaging through her.

"Don't." She heard herself say, still in that quiet tone. "You don't get to explain yourself." Her eyes opened again, focused on the drain in front of her. "Not yet. Just fuck off. Now." Her voice was shaking slightly, strained from not shouting the words and from trying to keep the thing that tried to claw its way out, down. From trying to remember that it really wasn't the others fault, it was no ones fault.

"Are we going to be ok?" The question was as soft as a feather, barely louder then a whisper. It sounded weak. She finally looked up and met the others stare. Pleading eyes looked back at her and she felt some of the anger drain from her, being replaced with a bone deep sadness. The sadness wasn't only for this, it was for everything.

"Why haven't you left? I told you I needed a minute alone." She heard the slight shift in her own voice, the resignation in it. It made her skin crawl as she remembered why she needed the time alone. Nothing anyone would have said to her could have prepared her for this. In some ways it had felt like she had come home, only to have that home burned down in front of her.

"I'm not going anywhere until I know you're fine. You can hate me all you want, punch me, hit me over the head with a rock, I don't really care. You have to talk to me, please Naomi. Talk to me." She saw the resolve settle in her, the determination to try and rectify the situation. The pleading was still there, but it was more insistent now. Naomi shook her head at the stubbornness she never knew the other possessed. With a final sigh, she complied with the request.

"I never expected to see her." She started, chewing her lips slightly. "So when I did it felt like all the air was knocked right out of me, so all I managed to do was stutter something about it being nice to see her finally. I don't think it was the best of first impressions." She grinned weakly to the other girl, it quickly turned into a grimace. "I don't even think she knows who I am." She closed her eyes again, not wanting to meet the sympathy in the others face. "So you see Effy, I could have really used the warning. It might have spared me the rambling recollection of the first time we met, she probably thinks I'm really into lint now." A small chuckle made its way over her lips unexpectedly, the absurdity of it all hitting her out of nowhere.

Katie found them clutching each other, howling with laughter a minute later. "And what the hell is so bloody funny?" The question only made them laugh harder "Erm right! When you two are done laughing your asses off, dinner is ready." She gave them a weird stare, almost laced with jealousy, before strutting away in that way only Katie Fitch could pull off.

Effy turns to follow, but Naomi hung back. "Just give me a second." Effy looks back at her, staring at something around her, before meeting her eyes. As if she knows it's coming, she just nodded at her, before leaving the room. Shaking her head slightly at her friends' perceptiveness, she slides down against the wall. They're going to be fine, she knows it, but a part of her is still furious with her.

_***Flicker*** "I used to imagine this." A pair of arms snake their way around her waist, a light kiss placed on the nape of her neck. She can't help the shudder that travels down her spine and feel the lips smile against her briefly. She turns around in her arms, meeting those mesmerizing brown eyes. They glow softly in the morning light._

_"You used to imagine me making toast?" She asks, grinning. "I have to say I'm a bit disappointed." She raised an eyebrow, smirking at the indignant huff directed at her._

_"No, you idiot." The slap on her arm punctuating the last word is light, playful. "I imagined us doing this." An arm was waved, indicating the kitchen. "You know, ordinary things. Like you making me breakfast, doing the dishes. Those kind of things." A smile grew on her lips as she spoke and Naomi couldn't help the smile she felt creeping up her own face at the sight._

_"And here I thought you loved me." She pouted. "But all you wanted was a maid. Someone to make you breakfast, do your dishes, your laundry. Want me to clean the place to?" She couldn't keep her lips from twitching as she saw the glint in Emily's eyes._

_"Hmm. The place could do with some cleaning." She looked around with mock concentration before her eyes returned to Naomi's, laughter twinkling in them._

_"Right. I better get right on that then, Miss Fitch." Naomi answered, pushing the now slightly startled looking Emily off her. She felt the hand close over her arm before she had even taken two steps. The feeling of electricity shooting up her arm was almost overwhelming. It still surprised her that the lightest touch could have this effect on her._

_"Did I mention that I used to imagine us doing those things naked?" She asked in that maddening husky voice of hers, making Naomi swallow. Their eyes connected again and she saw the raw need in them, the love. It was enough to make her head spin._

_"I don't think that would be very sanitary." She surprised herself by saying, eyebrow lifting again. She could feel her skin humming where Emily's hand still held her back._

_"Shut up." A husky voice said as she got dragged into the waiting arms and felt a pair of lips starting to kiss their way along her neck, slowly trailing a raging fire in their wake._

_"Ok" She whispered just before their lips met, feeling the familiar scent of Emily wrapping itself around her like a blanket. ***Flicker***_

They were squished around the table, no one really had any room to move much. Katie had claimed it was a six-seater table and that there were no other tables they could add to it. "Get cosy with the neighbours" she'd said. Naomi scoffed softly, making sure not to move too much to her right, easy for her to say seeing as she had made sure her and Effy had an end to them selves. Naomi herself had been planted between Cook to her left, who she was currently pressed up against, and to her horror Emily on her right.

Cook just kept glancing disinterested in her direction every time she accidentally brushed up against Emily, making her squeeze herself closer against him. Emily never noticed, never glanced in her direction. They hadn't really said anything to each other since the moment their eyes had met and Naomi had started rambling about lint and God knows what else. She shook her head at the memory, gulping down the rest of her wine as Emily shifted besides her.

A hand touched her arm lightly, she looked up startled and was instantly caught in those damn eyes of hers. "Yes?" She managed to croak out, her throat suddenly feeling parched, she tried clearing it. Warmth was shooting up her arm where she had been touched. She couldn't decide if the images of a half-naked Emily that suddenly popped in to her head, were a blessing or a curse.

"Fuck me now, please." The husky voice sent a barely concealed shiver down her spine. The words made no sense. The thought had definitely been a curse.

"Err… Excuse me?" She tried, sure that there was no way she had actually said that. It was absurd. Another image of herself lifting Emily on to the table, kissing her until she couldn't breathe anymore, flew across her mind. She felt herself licking her own lips uncertainly.

"I said, can you pass me the peas?" The bubble burst in her head at the words. As if she wanted to be fucked on a six-seater table in front of her twin sister and the rest of the people here. It really was an absurd thought. A chuckle forced itself out of her mouth, it sounded half strangled. She wordlessly passed the damn peas her way, swallowing as their fingers brushed, this was getting ridiculous.

The rest of the meal was eaten mostly in silence, on her part at least. The rest of the gang was chatting amicably amongst them selves, even Cook seemed like he was on his best behaviour. Towards the end her and Effy locked eyes across the table, the small nod towards the door going unnoticed by the rest of the group. Not long after the desert was finished, she excused herself and went outside for a smoke.

"For fucks sake, get a freaking grip!" She growled to herself when the door closed behind her. She felt her shoulders relax a little as she drew a shaky breath. It felt like it was the first one she had drawn in ages. The door opened behind her as she lit the cigarette that was hanging between her teeth. Assuming it was Effy, she didn't even bothered looking back before walking to the bench and sitting down. She blew the smoke out and watched it disappear in the darkness, half wishing she could follow it.

"Can I have a word with you?" The voice made her look up, meeting the stare of a slightly uncomfortable Katie. Her eyebrows shot up, before she had a chance to stop them. Had she seen the way she had looked at Emily the few times she couldn't tear her eyes away? The way she had nearly been in Cook's lap before the end of the dinner, clearly avoiding her twin? She swallowed.

"Sure Katie." Her voice sounded high, unnatural, she forced it back down. "What do you want to talk about?" She hoped with all that was in her that the next words out of Katie's mouth had nothing to do with Emily. She gestured to the bench and Katie stepped forward and sank down on it. She looked like she was choosing her words, looking for a way to start what was shaping up to be a very uncomfortable conversation.

"I was just wondering…" She cast a brief look at Naomi and plucked the lit cigarette from her hand and took a drag. "What's going on with you and Effy." The words were rushed, a note of uncertainty in her voice. She sounded nothing like the Katie she had met the first day at college. She shifted on the bench, looking at the twin with surprise.

"Going on?" She frowned. "What do you mean, 'going on'?" She air quoted the going on part, looking at the twin with an incredulous face. The question made no sense to her, she had expected a rant about sisters and lusting blonde lezzers, not this. It was almost as if she was…

"I mean you're always around each other, have these private jokes and… And you live together." Katie was chewing her lip, refusing to meet Naomi's eyes. If she had looked she would have seen the eyes widen as the realization hit them, the small grin that was gone as quickly as it came.

"And I'm gay?" She asked softly, watching with amusement as the others head jerked up and the searching, almost pleading look in her eyes met her own. "Oh Katie." She sighed. "Trust me, she is nothing more then a friend." She saw the suspicion still in the others eyes and took her hand. "Besides, I think she's very much taken at this point, don't you?" She allowed the grin to shine through as she saw the other smile.

"Ok, cause if I ever find out that something is going on between you, I will have to kill you." The smirk in her voice was obvious, the playful teasing back. She plucked the cigarette back from Katie's hand bringing it to her own lips taking a drag from it herself.

"Don't worry, she isn't my type." Katie raised an eyebrow at her, as if questioning her statement. "You know I only have eyes for you, Katiekins." She said as sweetly as she could, even kissing her hand briefly for dramatic effect. They stared into each others eyes for a second, before they both burst out laughing.

Katie left shortly after, but only after making Naomi promise she wouldn't mention the conversation to Effy. She sat there looking out into the small garden, the peace and quiet was exactly what she needed right now. She lit another smoke, absentmindedly turning the lighter over in her hand.

She closed her eyes briefly as a flash of red brushed over her. Opening her eyes, she glanced around just to make sure it was what she thought it was. Laughter drifted out from the house, she could hear her inside, the huskiness of that laugh was unmistakeable. She closed her eyes again, letting it in. A part of her brain was telling her it was stupid, that she was trying to escape the situation waiting for her inside. She dismissed the thought as soon as it came and surrendered to the red flashing behind her eyelids.

_***Flicker*** The look on Emily's face was priceless, but it was the eyes that made her own grin falter. There was a raging fire in them and it would be so easy to give in to them, but she had other plans. Forcing herself to take a step back as the red head reached for her, she managed to form her face back in to what she hoped was a mischievous grin._

_"So I take it that look in your eyes means you like my outfit?" Her grin deepening when she saw the way the other nodded furiously, reaching for her again. "Now now, Ems." She said, holding up her arms. "We're already late." Emily shot her a look that almost made her knees buckle, she knew exactly what that look usually lead to. She swallowed. "The others are probably already there and Katie said we'd better show our asses this time, or she'd come get us herself." She rambled, trying to push the images of what that look meant firmly down._

_"Fuck Katie." Emily growled, reaching for her again. The sound of her voice almost made her step towards her. She shook it off and darted away from Emily again, making the other grasp the air where she had just stood._

_"Oh, are you giving me permission?" She raised an eyebrow, smirking at the frustration on Emily's face. "Cause I always just assumed she was off limits." Quite pleased with herself for finding the words, for forcing some of her usual sarcasm in them, she turned her back to the red head and walked out the door she had found herself at. She heard the swearing behind her and couldn't help the small chuckle escaping her._

_"Finding something funny, are we?" She heard a second before she was pushed into a hedge and up against a fence. Those eyes were right in front of her again, burning in the dim light from the streetlights, she felt she could see right into the very soul of Emily. It was driving her crazy, it always did. Without another thought she crashed their lips together, Katie be damned. ***Flicker***_

Dejectedly, she got up from the bench and went back inside. Her eyes sought out Emily, making sure she was really there, that it wasn't some sort of cruel new trick her mind was playing on her. She saw the way she was smiling at something one of the others said, the way she scrounged up her face at one of Cooks lewd comments before jokingly slapping the back of his head. She was really there. This was real. She sat down next to Effy, who squeezed her knee and shot her a look of sympathy, before continuing to stare at nothing in particular.

She found herself staring at Emily again later. She had actually managed to hold a conversation with the rest of them, even answering a question from Emily herself, hadn't dared meet her eyes though. Not until now.

She felt her heart start to pick up speed again, the loud thumping in her ears almost drowning out the rest of the people around her. She could feel herself slipping into those pools of brown, but instead of a burning fire, it felt cold. They were unreadable, nothing in them but a small flash of recognition. She sighed, masking it with a small smile, before looking away.

"We should get going." Effy's words made her look up from her intense scrutiny of the tabletop in front of her. She met her friends stare and nodded slightly, indicating it was ok to leave now. That she wanted to leave, Effy smiled back briefly. She cast a quick glance around the room, noticing for the first time that it was only her and Effy left. Apart from the twins of course. Her eyes lingered a fraction of a second on the back of Emily's head, on the way the red hair seemed to shine, before she forced herself to look away.

"I'll walk you to the door." Katie answered, a grin spreading across her face as she looked at Effy. They really were ridiculously bad at hiding their emotions. She wondered if Emily knew, cause if she didn't, the way they were looking at each other was a dead give away. She felt the need to deflect attention away from the two.

"It's been really fun, Katie." She smiled as she watched Katie tear her eyes away from Effy, a flush spreading across her cheeks. So she hadn't told Emily then. "And it was nice to meet you Emily." Her voice was steady, calm. She felt a sense of pride in that, her insides were rolling violently as she almost lost herself in those eyes again. The smile she received back never reached them though, she wished it would.

"I don't know what to do." She whispered as they rounded the corner, moving further away from that tugging feeling inside her. Each step easing the feeling of being slowly pulled apart from the inside. Making it a little easier to pretend it had never happened.

"It's my fault, I should have told you. Maybe it would have been different if I did." Effy's words washed over her, the meaning behind them a mystery. She didn't care though, just let her take her hand.

"I don't think it would've been." She sighed. "She doesn't know who I am, doesn't seem to want to know. I don't know what I expected, but this wasn't it." The lie stung on her tongue, she knew exactly what she had thought would happen. Effy just looked at her, she could feel her eyes drilling holes in her head. She knew she wasn't telling her everything too.

Another few minutes passed in silence. "Fine." She finally admitted, caving under the quiet scrutiny. "I imagined she would look at me and instantly know me. That she would tell me she had been looking for me for the passed year. Tell me about how she saw my face every time she closed her eyes. That she saw the same things I did. We would talk about it until one of us suddenly couldn't keep it in anymore and it would come stumbling out. Those three little words, 8 small letters…" She let the ranting trail off, knowing that she had gotten her point across.

"Oh no, you haven't thought about it all." Came the reply. She felt her lips twitch, the words were just what she needed, something to snap her out of the gloom that had settled somewhere in her. She shoved the Effy away, before linking their arms together again. They grinned at each other. No, she hadn't thought about it at all.

Sleep wouldn't come, Effy had offered to stay with her until she fell asleep, but she had shut her down. She needed time to sort it all out, to make sense of the coldness in those brown eyes. She could see them every time her eyes drifted shut, more real then any flicker had ever been. It stabbed at her, sliced her open. Her heart was hammering dully in her chest, keeping up pretences. She welcomed the familiar brushing of red against her mind, relishing in the warmth. She needed it, needed to thaw out the gashes that had been left on her.

_***Flicker*** She smiled as she watched her sleep. The red hair splashed across the pillow, across her face. She tucked it gently behind her ear, watched in awe as Emily sighed contentedly._

_"You are so breathtakingly beautiful and I'm so hopelessly in love with you." She murmured to the sleeping form. "You really have no idea what you do to me." She kissed the top of her head softly. ***Flicker***_

She stared up at the ceiling. The question was; what do you do when the person you love doesn't even know you.

* * *

**Not what you guys expected? *Grins* Imagine that... Oh well. **

**Special thanks to Wristducky for that last line, told you I was going to use it. It was too perfect not to. **


	21. A delicate balance

**A/N: Hi! *Waves* I just kinda, sort of, had a writers block. And when that cleared I had trouble finding an ending to the chapter... So it kinda grew a bit. Couple that with my roomie being home and it took me this long to actually publish. Sorry about that.**

**Anyways: Happy belated birthday to AssassinLover and SummerSkins :D WOOOO!**

**Let the rambling begin!**

**Chapter 20: A delicate balance.**

_***Flicker*** "How can you drink that?" The husky voice makes her jump a little, the content of her coffee cup nearly spilling on to the table. She looks up quickly, almost surprised to see her there. She closes her eyes for a second, Emily is still there when she opens them._

_"Drink what?" She manages to squeeze out from a throat that suddenly fells like she's been swallowing sandpaper. Her eyes are firmly on the coffee in front of her, not daring to look up into those eyes. The surface is swirling slightly under her intense gaze, reflecting the light right above her head._

_"That!" Emily is pointing to the cup, she's so close to her now that she can clearly smell the distinct scent that is Emily. It makes the hairs on the back of her neck try to stand up. Puzzled, she looks back down from the outstretched hand and in to the cup again._

_"It's coffee?" Her resolve breaks and her eyes finally snap up to Emily's face. The grin is evident on it, her eyes glimmering. It both calms and terrifies her, being so close. The more she looks into her eyes, the more she feels the need to slam her walls back down._

_"Coffee in a coffee shop, I would have never guessed. I meant, how can you drink it black? It tastes like crap." The playfulness of the statement isn't lost on Naomi. She arches an eyebrow at the smaller girl, taking an almost defiant sip. The liquid feels good as it slides down her throat, she lets out a contented sigh._

_"I guess some of us are just more grown up then others." She grins insolently at Emily who lights up at the banter, obviously getting what she wanted. It makes Naomi want to laugh, she looks like a little kid who just got told that their best-friend can come out to play after all. Without asking, the other sits herself down on the seat across from her. "By all means, sit." She tells her in her most sarcastic voice, she's rewarded with a smile that could have lighted up a black hole. It makes her breath catch and her heart skip a beat._

_"Thanks." She says, breaking the trance Naomi is in. "So you seriously drink your coffee black?" Naomi nods, not trusting her voice. "I don't really like coffee." Emily whisper conspiratorially, making Naomi's lips twitch._

_"You obviously came to wrong place then." She quips back. "Nothing but coffee here." She lets the smile come out at the huff she gets in return._

_"Not true, Naoms." Naomi almost flinches at the nickname, but manages to keep a straight face. "They also have a killer hot chocolate." Emily beams at her, raising her own cup, oblivious to the fact that Naomi is struggling not to lean over and kiss the smirk right off her face. That she's wondering if Emily would like coffee if she tastes it on someone else's lips.** *Flicker***_

"NEXT!" The voice makes her jump. She looks up and sees that the girl behind the counter means her. "What are you having?" The irritated voice ask her, the answer comes out before she knows what she's about to say.

"I want Emi… I mean…" She stammers, trying to get her head together. "I'll have a hot chocolate." The girl behind the disk gives her a puzzled look.

"Hot chocolate? In this weather? Your funeral I guess." The girl shrugs, not noticing the glare on her back. "Funnily enough, you're not the first one in the hot chocolate brigade today. Mike! Another hot chocolate!" She screams to the guy by the coffee maker. "To go?" Naomi nods, not quite knowing why she ordered the damn thing in the first place.

She groans when she gets back out on to the street, the sun is beating down even more relentless then what it did before she went in to the coffee shop. She takes a sip of the hot chocolate and grimaces. She really just wanted some coffee, not this crap at this time of the day. Not to mention in this heat. It's not even 9.00 yet and it feels like a bloody oven.

Growling, she tosses the hot chocolate in the nearest bin, before continuing down the street towards the grocery store. "Get breakfast, she says. Go now before the heat melts you into a puddle." She snorts in the middle of her rant. "I swear I'll kill the demented cow one day." She's still grumbling when she gets to the shops, feeling like she could murder for something to eat. Something was making her stomach feel a bit funny.

It's been two days since the disastrous dinner, she hasn't seen Emily since then. Not in real life at least. It's been driving her up the walls, combined with the heat she's been snapping at everyone stupid enough to cross paths with her. Effy had almost given up on her too, or at least finally snapped back and told her to get her act together. She didn't blame her, she knew that she had been especially moody, throwing insults around like they were candy at a kid's birthday party.

The weather had been gruelling the last few days too. She'd tried staying inside as much as possible, but the lack of food and the fact that her mother had insisted that she get out of the house had forced her hand. So here she was, dripping with sweat, t-shirt sticking uncomfortably to her back, trying to remember all the stuff she was supposed to get. Tossing food unceremoniously into her shopping cart, looking at the crows feet her mother had scribbled onto what she claimed to be a shopping list.

"What the hell is this supposed to be? Does it say kilt? That can't be right." Still talking to her self and trying to read her mothers handwriting, she rounded the corner not really paying attention to anything in front of her. Of course she thumped into a person right on the other side of the stacked beans, of course it was who she was trying to ignore. Who was the reason for why she had been going out in the middle of the last two nights, only to stare at the windows of her house trying to catch a glimpse of her. She still didn't know why she was doing it, still reeling from the one time she had met her in the last year. She knew that gnawing feeling in her stomach hadn't been hunger when she thought about it.

"Are you blind? Watch where you're fucking going!" If it wasn't for the furious look on Emily's face, she would have laughed at the hilarity of running into someone she'd spent the last few days both ignoring and trying to catch a glimpse of. Food was everywhere, she had obviously managed to tip Emily's shopping cart over as she barrelled around the corner. Emily was on the floor too, scrambling to get back up.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." Emily's face came up in a blur, eyes trained on her, going wide as she recognized her. At least Naomi hoped she recognized her. "I was trying to read what my mother had written on here." She waved the list a bit half heartedly, trying to smile in an apologetic way, she was sure it came out more as a grimace. "Are you ok, are you hurt? I was trying to figure out if she really wanted me to pick up a kilt from the grocery store, which doesn't make any sense, and I didn't see where I was going and…" She took a deep breath and stopped her rambling. "The point is, I'm sorry. And are you alright?"

Emily was still looking at her, her face unreadable. Naomi nervously looked around at all the food, not daring to meet those eyes anymore. They always had a way of drowning out whatever was around and of telling her exactly how the other felt. Or at least they had in her flickers, not now though. Brushing herself off, Emily finally got to her feet.

"I'm fine." The statement was clipped, annoyed. "It's Naomi, right?" Naomi almost flinched at the question, but managed to keep her face still. She nodded instead of trusting herself not to start rambling like an idiot again. "Could you give me a hand?" Emily indicated to the mess on the floor.

"Sure." It came out like more of a squeak, she had just seen what the other was wearing. She quickly leaned down picking up the nearest object she could find, trying desperately not to look at the bare legs in front of her. The way the muscles were moving in her thigh, the tank top riding up a bit, exposing a small strip of skin on her back. She thanked her lucky star that Emily was now facing away from her and never saw the look she was sure was on her face. They picked up the rest of it in silence, Naomi not daring to let her eyes linger anywhere near the red head for long.

"Thanks." Emily was staring at her again. "I mean for helping me clear this up. Obviously not for bumping into me." She laughed, making Naomi smile back at her. If she ever had the chance she would spend the rest of her life trying to make her laugh again.

"Sure, no problem." She was still smiling. "I should probably go get the rest of what's on here." She plucked the list out from her back pocket, waving it at her again. "You know, get back to knocking people over while looking for kilts." The grin on Emily's face was breathtaking, she could feel her chest ache at the sight of it.

"Here, let me have a look at it, maybe I can make sense of it." Emily stretched her hand out towards the list, Naomi handed it over without question. The tips of their fingers brushed and she could have sworn she heard the breath catch in Emily's throat, she wasn't sure though because her own breath had caught at the same time.

She watched as Emily frowned at the piece of paper, biting her lip, hair falling in front of her eyes. She moved closer to her, standing next to her to look at the paper too. "See?" She reached over and pointed to the word. "It says kilt, I'm sure of it." She was so close now that goose bumps started to form on the arm closest to the red head. She clasped her hands behind her back to try and prevent them from rising up to tuck the strand of hair, still falling in front of Emily's face, behind her ear.

"Hmm, it actually does look like it says kilt" Emily absentmindedly brushed the strand of hair away from her eyes, Naomi swallowed. "I'm afraid I can't make it out either." With a shrug she passed the paper back, smiling up at Naomi.

"Ah well, I'll just get yelled at then. Maybe if I bring back a lime and say I thought that was what it said?" She said jokingly as she took the paper back, smiling back at Emily. "Thanks for trying to help, even if I did have to knock you over to get your attention." She winked at her, feeling pleased with herself as she saw a faint blush creep up the red heads face. It only lasted a second though, both the blush and the pleased feeling.

"Right. I have to go." Emily started to push the cart towards the check out. "It was nice running into you… Erm… have you run into me?" She gave another of those heart stopping smiles and was gone before Naomi could think of an answer. The eyes had been the same though, cold, uncaring. She stood staring at the spot she had disappeared for a while, willing her to come back. Sighing softly, she turned to finish her shopping.

Effy gave her a look that promised that they would talk later when she got home. "Yeah yeah, don't start." Naomi replied before she could even open her mouth, dropping the shopping bags on the table. "Mum! I'm not sure what you wanted with a kilt, but I picked one up on the way home!" She bellowed up the stairs at her mother.

"No need to yell, dear." Her mother ducked in from the backyard, scaring the living daylights out her. "And I never wrote kilt on the list?" Naomi just waved the list in her face, pointing out the line. "Oh, maybe I did." Her mother grinned, when Naomi rummaged in another bag pulling out a kilt.

"Figured it was a reason you put it on there?" She smirked at her mother. "Present for Kieran maybe? Some kinky new crap you're in to?" She raised an eyebrow at her "Besides, it was your credit card that paid for it." She shrugged and moved to put away the groceries. She was holding a pack of Garibaldi's when her mother threw her arms around her in an awkward hug.

"I'm gonna miss you, even if you are too grumpy and sarcastic for your own good." Her mother steeped back and wiped away some stray tears running down her cheeks.

"Fucks sake, mum." She replied softly, surprising her by giving her a hug back. "It's only for a year, right? And besides, I have Effy here. We'll be alright." She looked over at her friend who was sitting on one of the chairs, looking slightly uncomfortable by all the obvious affection shown by the other two. "Come on you lump, come hug it out." She grinned at the look of horror briefly displayed in Effy's eyes.

After what she was sure was the most awkward group hug in the history of all group hugs, Effy finally spoke up. "So Mrs. Campbell, what time is Kieran coming to pick you up?" Naomi's mother looked up from the drawer she was rooting around in, withdrawing her hand with a little triumphant wave as she finally found her passport.

"What have I told you to call me, _Elizabeth_?" Her mother put emphasis on Effy's given name, almost making the girl blush. Naomi just chuckled, sipping her ice tea as she watched the conversation.

"Yeah, what did she tell you to call her, Elizabeth?" Naomi smirked at her, grinning when she received a pointed stare back. She stuck her tongue out at her friend and promptly felt her mother smack the back of her head. "Oi! What was that for?"

"Be nice Naomi." Her mother just said, winking conspiratorially to Effy who was suddenly sporting a half shocked smile of her own. "Sometimes you just have to smack her over the head to make her see the error of her ways." Her mother continued as Effy's smile got wider.

"Oh, I will smack her as many times as it takes." Effy said, her trademark mysterious smirk back in place. Naomi groaned. "So Gina…" Effy flashed another smile towards the older woman. "When is that enthusiastic Irishman of yours coming?"

Gina laughed at the comment. "Oh, he'll be here any minute now. I thought we could order in some lunch, have a farewell meal of sorts. What do you girls think?" She was beaming at the both of them, a sudden wave of sadness spread through Naomi.

"Sounds perfect, mum." She said, looking over at Effy who nodded before leaning over and putting her hand on top of Naomi's. She drew a shuddering breath, trying to keep the pangs of sadness at bay. A familiar flutter in the back of her mind made her look up, her mind letting go of the thoughts of being without her mother for a year. The conversation started up again between her mother and Effy, they're not paying any attention to her. Perfect.

_***Flicker*** "That's disgusting!" Naomi frowned at Emily who was still munching happily on her sandwich, only shooting her an amused grin when she heard the blonde speak. Naomi saw the eyebrow rise up slightly, breadcrumbs was falling on the bed as she ate. She tried hiding her smile at the sight, but failed miserably._

_"I thought you said you'd love to eat breakfast in bed with me? And you didn't seem to mind me eating naked in bed last night." There was an unmistakeable glint in the redhead's eyes, a swirling torrent of emotions, mostly amusement, but there was a dark undercurrent in them too. The mischievous smile didn't go unnoticed either. Naomi's eyes glazed over for a moment, reliving parts of the night before._

_"Hmm. No, didn't particularly mind that." Naomi grinned back at Emily who now had forgotten all about the food. "I do mind this though." She lifted the hand still holding her own sandwich. "What the hell is this abomination you call food?"_

_"It's honey and marmite." Emily shrugged. "I think it's the best thing ever." Another playful grin spread across the redhead's face "Well, I used to think it was the best thing ever."_

_"Oh?" Naomi asked, eyebrow cocked. "And what do you think the best thing ever is now?" She loved this, the playfulness in Emily's eyes, the way she licked her lips. Her own heart was starting to beat painfully in her chest. She licked her own lips and shifted a bit in the bed._

_The answer was simple, just one word. "You." It was husky, predatory. It made Naomi's spine tingle and a smile spread on her face. ***Flicker***_

A few hours later, she stood in the driveway and watched the dinged up car drive out of sight. The sun was still beating down, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Effy laid a hand of her shoulder, making Naomi turn around to face her.

"Do you want to call the gang over? We could make a night of it." She heard her say, but her own mind was still on the car driving away.

"No, I think I need some time for myself. Maybe take a bike ride or something." Effy's face fell a little. "Tomorrow though, for sure." She added as she caught the disappointment in the others face. She added a little smile, she could feel it not reaching her eyes.

"Take your phone." Effy said as Naomi passed her on her way back inside. "Your mother made me promise to take care of you. She can be quite scary when she wants to." Effy was smirking when she looked back at her. Naomi grinned too.

"I know. Everyone always dismisses her as a hippie cliché, but when it comes to the people she loves…" She trailed off as she saw Effy look away, trying to hide the emotions fluttering over her face. Naomi cleared her throat. "She probably said the same thing to you about me, that she did to me about you."

"She told you to take care of me?" Effy asked, surprised. Naomi smiled softly at her.

"Of course she did. She thinks of you as family, we both do." The genuine smile on Effy's face suited her, it made Naomi walk over to her and give her a hug. "I'll be back late, I just need to get my head around a few things. I'll call you if I'm not back by midnight." She said.

"Emily?" Was the only question.

"Emily." Naomi agreed. "And mum." She added after a moment.

"Don't spend another night outside her house, it's getting creepy." Effy said. Naomi just laughed at the statement, shaking her head a bit. She knew it wasn't her mum Effy was talking about.

About a half hour, one packed bag and a change of clothes later, she was on her way. The heat had been the reason why she had thought of the place she was headed to, she needed somewhere to cool down and that wasn't packed because of the heat. The lake she'd stumbled once before, would be perfect. The fact that it was really Emily's place, had very little to do with it. Nope, nothing at all to do with why she was currently racing along the roads, enjoying the breeze on her face. Or why she felt relaxed and a bit jittery at the same time.

The sun was a glowing ball low in the sky when she finally reached the lake. She parked her bike in some underbrush, pulled out a towel from her backpack and placed it besides it. Not really wasting any time, she pulled off her clothes and stood for a moment in the bikini she had put on underneath. She looked out over the lake, watched how the sun glinted of the surface making it seem like it was glowing too. It really was lovely, the words she had spoken to Emily in her flicker echoed through her head as she dove in.

_***Flicker*** "It's lovely, it's a lovely place." ***Flicker***_

The water felt amazing, warm and just heaven sent. She could feel herself relax, the tension draining away. "Best idea, ever." She mumbled as she closed her eyes and floated peacefully on her back. The world was shut out for a few glorious moments, her thoughts only circling on how good the water felt washing over her. She floated out to the middle, lazily flicking her arms back and forth to propel her backwards. Dipping down, she swam back to the shore under water. The water closed over her head, she felt a fluttering in her chest. A sense of anticipation that didn't make any sense. As soon as her head broke the water, she knew though.

A pair of brown eyes was looking straight into her own, the surprise in them made her smile a bit. It was the first emotion she'd seen in them other then anger or coldness. Slowly, she got out of the water. She saw the way those eyes followed her dripping wet body for a second, before hastily looking away. So Emily wasn't as immune to her as she thought, her smile grew a bit.

"Twice in one day." She stated as she brushed past Emily and headed for her towel. "Had any more people bump in to you since I last saw you?" She shot over her shoulder, grinning when she caught the other girl's eyes glued to her back. She didn't quite know where her sudden courage had come from, or the lack of incessant rambling she usually spouted when Emily was around.

"I didn't know anyone was here." She heard a quiet voice behind her say. "Didn't see your bike." It muttered. Naomi turned around, drying her hair now, still smiling. The smile faltered slightly when she saw the sun illuminate Emily's red hair from behind, making it shine in a million shades of red. Swallowing, she forced herself to look away for a moment. She wanted to run her fingers through it, to hear Emily say her name as she embraced her. She pushed the thoughts out of her head and looked back at the red head, smile back in place.

"I just thought I'd cool down a bit, with the weather and all." She gestured with an arm, the other one still clutching her towel. "This was the first place I thought of that might not be all that crowded. Did you come for the same reason?" She took a step towards Emily, trying desperately to keep her features open and friendly, to not let the tension get the better of her. It must have been working, she decided, when she saw the other's shoulders relax just a fraction.

"I didn't bring a swimming costume." She looked up and finally met Naomi's eyes. The walls were back, it made Naomi's heart drop a little. The statement did give her an opening though.

"So? That's never stopped y… anyone before." She hoped her slight slip up went unnoticed. She would have bashed her head against the nearest tree, but she thought Emily might have noticed that, maybe have some questions about why she was doing it.

"Sun's almost down." Emily just answered, obviously not noticing the internal struggle Naomi was having. Naomi sighed in relief and wrapped the towel around her. She needed to put on her underwear, but she wasn't sure what the etiquette was in these situations. Should she just change as if it was nothing out of the ordinary? As if the person she was madly in love with wasn't standing right in front of her? She'd never really worried about these kinds of things before, always just changed under her towel no matter who was looking.

"Right." She said, reaching a decision. She started tugging off her bikini bottoms. Emily's eyes went wide and she quickly turned around. Well, that solved that problem, she thought as the bottom got tangled around her legs somehow. Hopping madly on one foot to try and get her balance back under control she suddenly crashed into Emily's back, sending the other girl flying into the water while she flopped down painfully on the ground herself.

"What the hell, Naomi?" A very angry shout came from the water. Naomi lifted her head off the ground and took a quick look at her self, the towel was miraculously still wrapped firmly around her. She sat up a bit gingerly, ignoring the swearing from the water as she flexed her limbs. Apart from a nasty gash on her left leg, she was unharmed. It was bleeding pretty badly though. She got up on her feet and looked down at the water, wincing as she saw Emily struggling to get back up.

"Here, let me help you." She grasped one Emily's arms, trying to bend so the towel wouldn't gape open. She was painfully aware of not wearing anything other then a bikini top underneath it. A pair of furious eyes met her own, she gulped at the sight of them.

"I don't need help, thank you very much." The red head spat at her, but still used the arm Naomi had offered to heave herself out of the water. Reluctantly, Naomi dropped the grip when it was clear Emily was on dry land. Her whole arm was still buzzing from the contact.

"I'm sorry, I lost my balance. If you hadn't been there it would have been me in the water, towel and all." She said quickly as Emily turned her back on her, following as the other stepped away from her, trying to make fun of the situation at the same time.

"Great, that's just great." Emily threw up her arms, obviously not amused. She turned around so fast that Naomi took a step backwards, loosing her balance again. With a yelp, she let go of the death grip she'd had on her towel and grabbed on to Emily's arm. A look of shock flew over the red heads face, before she gripped back and yanked her forward instead. The change of direction took Naomi by surprise and she stumbled into Emily again, this time falling on top of her.

She could feel the small form under her shaking. Scared that she had actually hurt Emily, she quickly tried to get her weight off the other girl. Leaning on her arms, she looked down, fearing the worst. Expecting a look of pure agony, she was surprised to find that the other girl was shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Jesus, I shouldn't be allowed to leave my house." She muttered to herself, trying to get up. At her words, Emily completely lost it and started laughing out loud. "I'm glad you're finding it funny." She said, feeling a bit annoyed at the obvious delight the red head was taking in this.

"The look… on… your face… when you… grabbed me." Emily managed to squeeze out in-between fits of laughter. "Priceless!" She continued laughing until Naomi accidentally kneed her in the stomach, still trying to get up. Emily opened her eyes, tears still shining in them from laughing so hard. She finally realized how close they were. Something Naomi had become increasingly aware of over the last few seconds.

"Erm… I should… ehh… get up now." Naomi managed to croak out, her heart was beating like crazy. The look in Emily's eyes flashed from warm amusement to stone cold in the blink of an eye. It made Naomi just decide to roll over and off the now very serious looking Emily.

"You're bleeding." Emily stated as they both finally had managed to get to their feet. Naomi looked down at the wound she had gotten the first time she went down.

"It's just a scratch." She answered, shrugging. She looked at her leg and realized she was still just wearing a towel. "Erm, I think I'll just go put some clothes on." She looked up at Emily who was still frowning at the wound on her leg. "I think I should probably sit down while putting on my underwear, probably safer for the both of us." She tried grinning at Emily, but the red head seemed to be lost in thought. "Right, I'll be over here then." She pointed at a rock a little into the forest.

"What?" Emily's head snapped up. "Oh, yes. Probably better to sit down." She nodded to emphasize her words and turned her attention to the lake. Naomi stared at the way her still soaking wet t-shirt was sticking to her back. Shaking her head to get rid of the thoughts that suddenly popped up in her head, she turned, walked to the rock and sat down.

She can't see Emily from where she's sitting. "Just as well, or you'd just be perving at her the whole time instead of getting dressed." She mumbles softly to herself as she puts her shorts. The gash in her leg has started throbbing, but the bleeding had stopped. Carefully, she dabs the towel over the wound, mopping up some of the blood. It isn't as deep as she first thought. She runs her fingers through her hair a few times, trying to get it to flatten down a bit, make her look a little more presentable. When she's satisfied it's not sticking out in all sorts of weird angles, she takes a deep breath and walks back to the lake.

"Hey Emily!" She said as cheerily as she could. "I have a spare shirt and a pair of pants in my backpack, if you want to you can borrow it." The grin on her face faltered as she saw the place where she left Emily is empty. "Emily?" She tries, a little louder this time. Still no answer, no sign of her. "Perfect." She exclaims softly, feeling disappointment wash over her. "Just bloody perfect."

The sun had set, she noticed with a start. It was still light out, but the air was suddenly not as warm as she remembered. "And your clothes are all wet." She said to herself, making her mind up before she had even thought it through. Stepping over to her bike, intending to race after Emily to give her some dry clothes, maybe even yell at her a little for leaving without saying goodbye, her eyes fell on the back tire. It was flat.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" She shouted, kicking a nearby tree in anger. Pain shot up her leg from her toes, making her swear some more. She concluded after a while that standing there swearing at the tree didn't help the situation much. Throwing her hands up in defeat, she grabbed the bike and started wheeling it down the road. She was going to call Effy or Cook as soon as she got to the main road, not wanting either of them to pick her up here. This was Emily's lake after all.

She never noticed the brown eyes following her every move from where they were hidden. The way they burned into her back. She only felt the slight prickling between her shoulder blades as she walked away. The feeling was gone when she rounded the bend in the road.

* * *

**So... *grins* Everyone still here, still following? *shuffles feet***

**I'll try not to take this long with the next one. **

**Oh, and thanks for reviewing, for the story alerts and for the favourite alerts. I appreciate it :D**


	22. Tug of war

**A/N: Right, I don't know what happened. I had about 2000 words when I started this morning, where the next 5000 came from... well, you'd have to ask Naomi and Effy about that. They're the ones that kinda ran away with it all.**

**In case you didn't already figure it out, this is another joint chapter. Effy is in first person as usual, don't ask me why, and Naomi isn't. I've tried making it clear where the switches are, just look for the lines.**

**That's it I think, have fun with it. Parts of it was extremely fun to write, I'll let you all figure out which parts that were for yourself. :D (And no, that does not mean I wrote smut, sheesh...)**

**Chapter 21: Tug of war**

"What? You want me to do WHAT?" Naomi's voice reverberates in the small bathroom, bouncing back at me as she turns to face me. Her eyes are boring into mine and I'm suddenly reminded of what Katie told me she was called when they were in middle school together. Ice queen. She truly is regal in her anger, eyes like pieces of broken ice, hair like a halo around her head and flashes of red streaking out behind her. I wish I could take a picture of her, but I'm guessing that if I told her to stand still while I get a camera, she would probably actually kill me.

"All I said was that you should talk to her." She deflates when she hears me repeat myself. Usually she can get away with anything when she lets those eyes flash. She has gotten away with a lot already, but I'm not letting her this time. It's time she grows the proverbial pair and starts dealing with the situation. If she won't, well, I have a few tricks up my sleeve if nothing changes soon. Allowing a small smirk to shine through at the thought, I meet her stare, prepared to make her back down.

"I've tried talking to her, Eff." Her voice is quiet now, anger still laced in it, but quiet. She closes her eyes, refusing to look at me anymore and slides down against the wall. "You saw what happened yesterday. Some housewarming." She tries forcing out a smile at that, it only looks pained. "She barely said two words to me. All I did was ask her if she got home alright and she shut me down after saying she did. I even tried apologizing for pushing her in that damn lake, even though it was a total accident. God, how could I have been that stupid! She won't even look at me."

I don't know what to say to her, I've never been good at this whole 'friend in need' thing. So I sit down next to her, take her hand and let her lean against me. It seems to be the right thing to do, because she relaxes into me. I know what she's doing though, I can hear her mind whirring. Pushing down parts of herself, trying to brace herself so she won't feel the pain. It's heartbreaking and it's not going to work.

"At least Katie didn't rip my head off when she figured out I have the hots for her sister." She mumbles after a while. I grin at the memory of Katie chewing my ear off when she realized what was happening. Personally I can't understand how anyone can be in the same room as Naomi and Emily and not see it, but then again, I have spent most my life watching the way people interact.

"I think her exact words was something about comparing you to someone who's dying of thirst in the desert and suddenly spotting an oasis." I add, Naomi snorts.

"I bet she did. Did I tell you she dragged me inside to 'talk' about it" I see the air quotes around talk from the corner of my eye. "She was ready to go on a double date that second." Quiet chuckle escapes her. "It's funny, cause in my flickers she really hates the idea and thinks I'm stealing Emily away from her."

"A lot of things have changed." I say softly, feeling her sigh against my shoulder.

"I know." It's so low that I almost don't hear it. "I'm gonna go to bed, this day officially sucks." She adds a little louder, pushing herself off me, getting to her feet. I give her hand one last squeeze, trying to tell her that I'm here for her. She just smiles tiredly down at me and squeezes back for a moment, before leaving. I sit for another few minutes, listening to her walking up the stairs and into her room.

"I will make this right, Naomi. I swear I will fix it." I tell the empty bathroom. I mean it though, with every fibre of me. I will fix it, I just need some help with what I have in mind. Getting up, I fish my phone out of my pocket and dial a familiar number. "It's me, I need a favour."

* * *

"NO!" She sat bolt upright in her bed, staring wildly around her. It took her a few minutes to shake the bewilderment out of her head. She looked at the clock on her bedside table and groaned. "6.15... Just bloody great!" She flopped back down. She'd been having the same nightmare over and over the last few nights. Ever since she had met Emily at the lake actually. She carefully prodded the flesh over her heart, not a mark. She hadn't expected it to be.

The dream always started the same, she was at the lake, alone. The sun was shining, birds were chirping and she felt at peace. Suddenly Emily was standing before her, smiling sadly at her, telling her that she wasn't the same anymore. No matter how hard Naomi tried telling her that it didn't matter, that she would always love her, Emily wouldn't listen. So to show her she was serious, she reached into her chest and ripped out her heart. Standing there with blood dripping on the ground between them, she held her still beating, bloody heart in her hand and offered it to Emily.

It always ended the same, Emily looking at her with those stone cold eyes before shrugging indifferently and walking away. And she always stood there, rooted to the spot, watching her leave. Just before Emily was out of sight, the heart stopped beating.

She rolled over, hugging the pillow next to her. The whole thing was so messed up, she was so tired of the elation that came whenever she saw Emily, the disappointment when nothing happened the way she wanted it to. It was exhausting, she pushed the feelings away. Tried to compartmentalize it so she didn't have to deal with it anymore. There was only one problem though, there was never a compartment big enough to hold Emily and it didn't help that… A familiar tingle brushed against her mind, a flash of red flew in front of her eyes. She groaned again, but let it in.

_***Flicker*** Emily's smile could have lighted up the room, this was why she had done it. It didn't matter if Cook had scoffed and called her whipped, that Effy had rolled her eyes or her mother had laughed at her request to have the house to herself. The look on Emily's face made it all worth it, she would do anything for that look._

_"Do you like it?" She asked, looking around the room herself, she'd spent most of the day setting it up. There were candles in every nook and cranny of the living room, music was softly drifting around them. The sofa had been pushed against the wall, the table had been carried out and was currently somewhere in the backyard. In the middle of the room she had laid down a blanket, a picnic basket stood at the corner of it._

_"Did you do all this for me?" Emily asked, looking up at her with awe in her eyes. Naomi felt her heart soar as she nodded silently, trying desperately to force the sudden lump in her throat down. In the candlelight, Emily looked too beautiful for words. Swallowing, she took Emily's hand and led her into the room fully._

_"Sit." She managed to croak out as they reached the blanket. "Wait there for a second." She leant down and gave her a quick peck on the lips, unable to resist the smile on her face any longer. "I'll be right back, don't move."_

_She hurriedly walked down the hall to the kitchen, finding the glasses she had forgotten to get, grabbing the flowers she'd bought on her way back to the living room. She stopped right before she reached the door and took a deep breath. She just needed a second to prepare herself, not because giving Emily flowers is scary, but to prepare herself for seeing Emily. In her house, in her living room, in a room filled with candles. A moment of panic threatened to break through the bliss she felt about that thought, but before she lets it take hold, her feet takes the last step and her eyes find Emily._

_"I just forgot a few things." She says softly, taking in the way Emily's hair seems to come alive with each flicker of the candles. Warm brown eyes meet her own and her heart starts beating wildly in her chest. She almost forgets how to breathe. ***Flicker***_

Letting go of the pillow, she rolled back on her back, one of her hands came up and covered her eyes. The pain in her chest seemed to have doubled, eyes prickling uncomfortably under her hand. She didn't give in to the tears though, won't do that anymore. "I refuse to cry over you anymore Emily." She informs the quiet room. "I won't do it anymore, I just can't." She sighs and turn to face the wall. The dream starts up again the minute she drifts back to sleep.

"We're going out tonight." Effy tells her some time later, she has that tone in her voice that tells Naomi that she won't take no for an answer. Shrugging slightly instead of arguing, she just keeps staring at the TV, not really paying attention to what's on it. "Don't kill me with your enthusiasm or anything." Effy says, obviously trying to get an answer out of her anyways.

"What do you want me to say?" She asks, letting her sarcastic side come out and play.. "Yay? Oh goodie, we're going out? How about let's get fucking mental?" Effy grimaces at her last statement. "I'm guessing Cook will take care of that one though, he always does." She assumes that by 'going out' Effy meant that the entire gang would be coming. It's something she really doesn't want, because that would mean Emily and she just wants a day without her. Well, the real her.

"Cook's not coming. It's just going to be you and me." Effy tells her. "So you don't have to worry about running into Emily." A small knowing smile plays on her lips.

"Damn you and your all-knowing ways, Stonem." She says, rolling her eyes, but lets a feeble grin shine through her mock anger. "So, just us? Why?" She sits up on the couch, looking at Effy, trying to read her. Her face is blank though, so there's nothing there to tell her anything.

"I just thought you could use a break from it all. Have a good old fashioned night out. You know, one with way too much booze and maybe a spliff or two?" Grinning fully now, Effy produced one of the mentioned spliffs out of thin air, wiggling it between her fingers. "You in?"

"Why not." Naomi shrugged, taking the spliff out of Effy's hands and lighting it. "I could use a break." She adds, blowing out the smoke and sighing contentedly. "A night out might be just what I need." A brief look of triumph flows over Effy's face, before the smirk is back in place.

"I'll go get the vodka and some mixers. You need to change though. Not sure how many places would let you in looking like that." She gestures to Naomi's stained t-shirt and skimpy shorts. "Unless you want to spend the night at Keith's that is." She's out the door before Naomi can respond.

* * *

I bring her to a club I'm sure she has never been to, it was surprisingly easy to get her to agree to come out. I made sure she was tipsy, in a good mood, she's going to need it. I almost feel a bit bad for doing this, but the feeling disappears when I see the barely concealed anger and pain in her eyes. She's chatting happily about something trivial, avoiding what she really wants to talk about. I drag her to the front of the line and leave her there while I go right up to the bouncer.

"See that girl?" I whisper in his ear, gauging his reaction to the whisper for a moment, deciding to tell a version of the truth. "She's here to meet the love of her life. She doesn't know she'll be here, cause if she did she'd probably run for the hills. See, they don't know yet that they were made for each other and they're being a bit… stupid." We both look at Naomi, who's standing a couple of metres away staring obliviously into to space. "I need you to let us in before she gets here, can you do that?"

He looks at me for a long while, I stare back at him. "Come on then." He sighs. "I always did like a romantic story." He smiles at me, winking. "Just don't tell anyone I told you that."

"I won't." I answer, grinning back at him. "Oh, and if you see two sisters, twins, coming this way… One of them has really red hair. Will you let them in too?" I ask him sweetly. He nods, grinning wider then before. I get Naomi from where she's standing and lead her past the hulking big bouncer with the romantic heart, throwing him one last grateful smile as we pass him. So far, so good. Phase one complete, well, as soon as Katie gets her ass here with Emily that is.

We've been sitting here for a while now, chatting happily about nothing at all, drinking whatever people give us. Naomi refuses to believe that she's the one getting all the drinks and keeps telling me she's stealing one of mine. She seems relaxed, like it's getting easier to push away the feelings she tries to forget. Right now she's chatting to this guy about global warming, or she's ranting about it, while he's just nodding along staring at her chest. I almost pity him, he has no chance of getting what he wants out of her.

I know they've arrived before my phone starts vibrating, I can see her tense, see the red lights starting to race towards the entrance. She sits up, waving the guy still staring at her chest away. He tries resisting the obvious brush off, leans in and whisper something in her ear. I don't think she hears him, her eyes meets mine instead. A swirling torrent of emotions hits me when I look into them. All the hurt, love and hope, hits me like a punch in the stomach. If I weren't already sitting down, I think I might have fallen over by the sheer force of it.

"I…" She pauses, obviously not knowing how to explain. She looks lost for a second, before it looks like she's pulling herself together. "I'm gonna go dance." She stands up abruptly, making me blink a bit. This is new, she's resisting the pull. I know she can feel it, it's written all over her face. "You coming? Or are you staying here?" She holds her hand out briefly to me, I just shake my head.

"I'm staying here Naomi." I tell her. She just shrugs.

"Suit yourself." She says as she turns and makes her way to the dance floor, grabbing a random girl along the way. Her face has a stony resolve on it, it scares me for a second before I make out the way her head flicks towards the bar, I follow her gaze. Blue and red are swirling around each other somewhere in between the bar and the dance floor, constantly revolving, never touching. She's fighting a losing battle, they both are.

* * *

She made her way to the dance floor, the girl she had randomly selected trailing behind her. She didn't want to think anymore. Emily was here, she could feel her near the bar somewhere, she turned her head in that direction for a second. Her brain was telling her it was pointless to try and fight it, she ignored it and looked back at the girl behind her instead.

The girl was pretty, even in her Emily induced haze it was evident. Green sparkling eyes, a stunning smile and a little taller then herself. She was obviously way out of Naomi's league, but she didn't seem to mind when Naomi had grabbed her and practically dragged her along. Smiling back at her, Naomi spun her around making her laugh and grabbed her waist with more confidence then she felt. The feeling in her chest of someone pulling at her insides, intensified. She closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the moment, she just wanted to forget, just for a second.

"I've been watching you, you seem sad." A melodious voice in her ear says, she can feel how close she's let the other get to her. "You still do." The voice came from in front of her now. Her eyes flutter open and she stares confusedly into a pair of green eyes in front of her. "Look sad, I mean." The other offers when Naomi just looks at her.

"Do I? She offers, feeling that tug in her chest again and trying to push it away. Trying to focus on the girl in front of her. It wasn't working. Her eyes drifted to where she knew Emily was, she saw a flash of red hair and swallowed. She quickly refocused on the green eyed girl, trying to shake the overwhelming feeling that she should be following the red hair.

"Come on, I'll buy you a drink." The girl told her, dragging her off the dance floor. She blindly followed her to the bar. "I'm Lauren by the way." She flashed a smile at Naomi and flagged down the bartender.

"I'm Naomi." She offers, her eyes drifting back to the dance floor and almost chocked on the beer she was taking a swig of. Emily was moving her body to the music, hips swaying, hair flowing as she twirled. Every fibre in Naomi's body suddenly screamed at her to get up and join her. Before she was even standing though, she saw a pair of hands snake their way around Emily's waist. Saw Emily lean into someone, she had no idea who though, not really paying attention to anything but the swaying redhead.

"So…" The green eyed girl said. "The redhead, huh? Is she the reason you're so sad?"

"Look, I'm sure you're a nice person…" Naomi trailed off as she saw the hands move up Emily's body, a white hot rage seared through her body, the grip on her beer bottle almost turned white knuckled. Emily's eyes opened and stared into hers, a small smile on her lips, it looked cruel. She turned away and slammed the bottle down with enough force to make the beer splatter all around it.

"Hey." The other girl said, laying a gentle hand on Naomi's shaking arm. "Do you want to turn the tables on her?" Naomi just looked at her. "Come on. We'll beat her at her own game." A wicked smile shone in those green eyes and Naomi let herself be led back towards Emily, her chest aching more with each step.

She couldn't look at Emily again, focussed on the hand that lead her instead. It suddenly stopped and the green eyed girl, Leah? Lauren? She couldn't remember. Who ever she was started swaying to the music, drawing Naomi closer, guiding her hips with her hands. She resisted the other girl for a moment, kept the distance between them.

"This would be a lot more convincing if you loosened up a bit." The other girl whispered in her ear, the sensation of hot breath in her ear sent a shiver down her spine. It had been a long time since she had let anyone get this close.

"Why are you helping me?" She asked the other girl, drawing back to look in her eyes again. They really was the most brilliant shade of green, she could have drowned in them if it wasn't for a pair of brown eyes that flickered for an instant in front of her.

"I've been there. Unrequited love and all that." The girl shrugged. "Although in this case, it might not be so unrequited. She likes you, haven't taken her eyes off you since I dragged you out here." Naomi made a noise of disbelief in her throat. "You don't believe me? Here, see for yourself." The girl spun her around in her arms and rested her chin on Naomi's shoulder. "See?" Naomi looked up.

Emily's eyes met her own. A flash of something was in them, she couldn't place it. Time slowed, the people moving around them seemed to be stuck in molasses. The deep brown of her eyes shifted, swirled, it was breathtaking. She smiled when she saw it, there was something there. Emily drew her eyes away, breaking the spell, fighting the grip around her. She finally broke free from the arms around her and left without looking back. Naomi stood there and watched her disappear in the crowd.

"Thank you." She said to the green eyed girl, stepping away from her.

"No problem. Just promise me that if it doesn't work out, you come find me." The girl flashed her a smile. "Just ask for Lauren at the bar, they know who I am." Lauren tossed her hair away from her face. "Now, go after her." Naomi smiled at her again and disappeared into the crowd her self, letting the tugging in her chest lead her.

* * *

"Are you sure they went this way?" I hear Katie ask me as I lead her through the crowds. "I can't see shit from here." I look back down at her, smiling at her outburst.

"You're adorable." I tell her, making her blush. I love it when I make her blush. "I saw Naomi going this way, I'm sure she's following your sister." I feel a stab of guilt at the lie, I haven't seen Naomi since she headed for the dance floor to be honest, but those streaks of red are leading me in her direction. I should probably have told Katie about it, but how do you tell your girlfriend, or almost girlfriend, that you see lights burst out of her sister and your best friend without sounding like you're having a psychotic breakdown.

The lights have changed again, where they were slightly pulsating whenever Emily and Naomi was close to each other, they are now full on throbbing. Something has shifted between them, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Frowning, I start walking faster, dragging Katie along with me.

Suddenly, I feel Katie tug her hand out of my grip. I look back, feeling confusion ripping through my body. Did she not want me to touch her? Had she seen Emily and decided to remove her hand from mine? I look over my shoulder and see her being held back by a tall, weird looking girl. Katie seems a bit stunned for a moment, before her face contorts in anger. I almost feel sorry for the poor girl who took her from me.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Katie screams at the girl, rounding on her. The girl just grins at her stupidly. I'm not quite sure what I'm meant to be doing at the moment, so I step up besides Katie, placing my hand on the small of her back.

"Come on Emily, you had fun just a moment ago. Where did you run off to?" The tall girl asks. I'm starting to suspect that she's not the sharpest tool in the shed. She's also obviously colour-blind, the hair should have tipped her off that this is not Emily. I glance at Katie who now has a deliciously angry, red colour climbing steadily up her cheeks.

"ARE YOU BLIND?" That's my girl, still screaming in anger. As long as she's screaming though, the other girl should be fine. It's when she gets that razor sharp, quiet edge in her voice that the real trouble begins. "DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW WHO YOU ARE?" I smirk at the look of bewilderment on the other girls face. People have stopped dancing around us, all eyes on what is unfolding.

"Come on, don't be like that… It's me, Mandy. Remember? You had your hands all over me just a few minutes ago." The giant girl tries to smile at her sexily, it comes out as more of a sleazy one though.

"Listen, Mandy or whatever you're called. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot barge pole. Actually, I think I would need a ten foot barge pole to be able to reach you." It comes out deadly, restrained. "Now, would you just piss off and leave me the fuck alone? Find someone your own size to slobber all over." I can feel her quivering under my hand, she's about to explode and for the life of me I can't think of a reason why she shouldn't. I feel my smirk deepening.

Katie turns to leave, obviously done with the conversation, if you could call it a conversation. The giant reaches out and stops her again. "Who the hell do you think you are, bitch!" She spits in Katie's direction and I see my girlfriend, or whatever we are to each other, flinch.

I've never been a violent person, but this time I'm more then willing to make an exception. Before Katie has time to react, I've spun around, fist already ready, and hit her. I never did understand why women usually slapped others, fists seems so much more effective. I'm sure the cunt calling Katie a bitch would agree. Maybe I should ask her that when she gets back up from the floor, or her nose stops bleeding.

Leaning down close to her, I growl quietly in her ear. "She's Katie Fucking Fitch and she's mine. If you ever so much as look at her or her sister again, a bloody nose will be the least of your troubles. I'll personally make sure that not even your mother recognizes you. Have I made myself clear?" She whimpers as the words sinks in. "Good. I'd tell you to apologize, but that requires that you to talk to her and I really don't want you to do that. I'm sure you don't want that either." She looks at me wide-eyed, shaking her head furiously as I stand back up. "Nice to meet you Mandy, hope it's a long time til I see you again." I add a little louder. I hear her scramble away as soon as I turn my back to her.

Katie's looking at me like I've grown an extra head, I think I might be in trouble. I smile at her a little nervously, holding out a hand, hoping she'll take it. There's an unreadable look on her face and I don't like it. She turns on her heals and starts walking away, I follow her. The crowds parts for us effortlessly as she leads the way to a dark corner.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hit her." I try to explain to her, dragging my hands through my hair. She's stopped walking, thankfully. "It's just, she called you a bitch and…" I don't get further before she rounds on me, practically leaping in to my arms.

"Did you mean it?" She murmurs in my ear, clinging to me. "The part about me being yours?" Her breath tickles, sending shivers down my spine. I take a deep breath, inhaling her scent, hugging her closer. She wasn't supposed to have heard that part.

"Of course I did. I mean, I know we haven't defined anything or talked about it, but as far as I'm concerned, you're mine and I'm yours." I want to say more, to tell her that I love her, but the words get stuck somewhere in my throat. It's enough for now though, her eyes are telling me that when she extracts herself and looks at me. I smile softly at her as her hand trace the outline of my face with wonder.

"Yeah." She breathes out quietly. "I'm yours too." Her hands are tugging my head down to hers, kissing my lips gently. Sighing, I tighten my hold on her again. This really is just perfect. A tiny part in my head is yelling at me, telling me to go find Naomi, I ignore it as I feel Katie's tongue ghost along my bottom lip. The yelling becomes a whisper when I open my mouth and let her in.

* * *

The door closes behind her as some sort of commotion starts up behind her. She ignores it though, her mind firmly on Emily. Glancing around, she can't find her. Sighing into the cool night air, she closes her eyes for a moment and starts walking in a random direction. Opening her eyes again, she sees that her legs are carrying her further down the alleyway, not towards the road as she would have thought. A small shape comes into view, sitting leaned against a lamp post. The light isn't on.

"Emily? Are you ok?" She asks as soon as she's gotten close enough for the other to hear her. Hovering next to her for a moment before sitting down on the ground next to her. Not too close though, she doesn't want to risk touching her. Warmth floods from Emily regardless of how careful she was when she sat down. She drags her eyes away from her, staring down at her shoes instead, they're safer to look at.

"Why are you following me?" Emily sounds annoyed and defeated at the same time.

"I'm not." She hears herself answer, brain working furiously to come up with an excuse as to why she's here. She really has no idea why she had followed Emily at all. Relief floods her when she finally notice the pack of cigarettes stabbing uncomfortably unto her thigh. "I just stepped outside for a smoke." She stretches out her leg retrieving the packet, shaking it a little when she gets it out, as if to show Emily she wasn't kidding.

"Right." Emily doesn't sound convinced. Naomi brings the cigarette up to her mouth and lights it, taking a grateful drag of it. They sit there for a moment, silence wrapping itself around them. Emily suddenly stands. "I'll leave you to it then." She moves towards the side door of the club again.

"Wait!" Naomi is on her feet before Emily has taken two steps, thrusting out her hand, grabbing an arm without thinking. Electricity flows through her as it closes over Emily's arm, she doesn't let go though. "Why don't you like me? Have I done something?" She hears herself ask, sounding rather pitiful and desperate, she lets her hand drop. Her heart is thumping wildly in her chest, she wonders if Emily can hear it too.

"I don't know you." Emily answers, shoulders slumping slightly. "And you don't know me. Why do you care if I want to get to know you or not?"

"Because…" She casts her mind around for something to say, anything. Even an anecdote about lint would be good, nothing comes to her though. She takes a step closer to Emily.

"You don't have answer, do you Naomi?" Emily casts a look over her shoulder at her, a sad little smile on her lips, the stony coldness back in her eyes. It's breaking Naomi's heart, reminding her of the nightmare she keeps having, her eyes are prickling dangerously. Anger bubbles up in her, she meant what she said about not crying over her anymore, even if it was said to an empty room.

"Maybe I don't. Maybe I have no idea why on earth I bother trying to talk to you." She closes the distance between them, grabbing Emily's shoulders, turning her to face her. The anger grows when she refuses to meet her eyes. "Maybe I should just give up, just stop talking to you all together. Is that what you want? Do you want me to stop trying Emily? Do you?" Their faces are inches apart, her fingers digging into Emily's shoulders now. She's holding on to her rage by her fingernails.

Brown eyes jump up and meet hers, making her loosen her grip on Emily's shoulders. "I never asked you to try." She's getting angry too, Naomi realized, her eyes flashing dangerously. Throwing off Naomi's grip on her, Emily starts moving forward, forcing Naomi to take a step back. "Who are you to lecture me about trying? It's not like you can force us to be friends!" Relief fills Naomi as she sees something other then the usual stony indifference in those brown eyes.

She has no idea what came over her, no idea what she's doing, until she roughly pulls Emily towards her and kiss her. Emily froze for a second, before fiercely kissing back. It wasn't gentle, it wasn't sweet, but Naomi had never felt this before. The raw passion behind it, the intense feeling of Emily biting her lip almost hard enough to draw blood, it was all getting to be too much for her. She groaned.

The noise was enough to snap her out of it, she suddenly became aware of what the hell she was doing. She pulled away, breathing heavily, her eyes still closed. "I'm sorry." She opened her eyes, looking at the way Emily's hair blew in the slight breeze. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No, you shouldn't have." Emily answered, sounding as breathless as she felt. She finally shifted her own eyes to Emily's, trying to figure out what to say next. Emily refused to look at her. "I should go." She heard her say before she had found her own words. Naomi tried reaching an arm out to her, but she started backing away. "I need to go."

"Emily…" She whispered softly, watching as she turned away from her again, her speed increasing. "Emily!" She tried a little louder, her voice sounded weird, kind of strangled. She sank down on her knees, her legs refusing to hold her any longer.

By the time Emily reached the end of the alleyway, she was running, she never looked back at Naomi.

* * *

A phone vibrated between us somewhere, making us break apart. "Bloody typical." Katie growled, removing her hand from under my shirt. "Yours or mine?" She asked, her voice sounding a bit strained.

"Yours, I think." I answered. "Mine is in my back pocket." I drew it out just the same, checking it as she checked hers. Nothing, I didn't expect it to be anything on it anyways. "Anything important?" I ask, leaning over, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. She leans into my touch, it makes me smile.

Her face falls to a frown. "It's Emily, she's going home. I don't get it, what happened?" She looks up at me, concern on her face, it looks weird on her. "You said it was only a matter of getting them in the same room together."

"And I still think that. We only have to change our game plan a little." I grin at her confusion, taking her hand leading her to the front entrance, explaining my plan on the way. Her face lights up as we walk through the doors and out into the night.

"So you go after Emily, make sure she's alright, that she doesn't suspect anything and I'll find Naomi and get her home." I kiss the top of her head as she nods. "Call me when you get home, or send a text if you can't talk." She waves bye to me from the taxi after promising to call.

I turn down the alleyway, following the sound of the phone, my own cell pressed to my ear. I find her sitting against a wall, staring blindly into space. She looks like she's crawled on her hands and knees to get there. Silently, I sit down besides her, shutting off my phone as I slide down. The ringing that filled the alley, stops. She leans against me, bringing a cigarette to her lips, offering one to me. She haven't said a word, but it's ok. She'll talk when she's ready.

"Come on Naomi, time to go home." I say after a while, gently bringing her to her feet. She tosses the finished cigarette to the ground, grinding it out with her heel, before taking my hand. I lead her down the empty streets, home isn't too far away and the night actually feels warm.

"I fucked up, Eff." She says quietly, as we reach the house. "I really fucked up."

"I'm sure it's not that bad." I tell her, she just sighs and walks past me into the house. "Go sit down, I'll make you some tea." I force her down on the sofa, walk out to the kitchen and flick on the kettle. She follows me though, sitting herself down at the kitchen table instead.

"I kissed her." My back must have stiffened, given away some sort of surprise at the news, because she continues. "We were arguing, I was so angry. She wouldn't meet my eyes at first, but when she did… I saw something in them, it wasn't just that stony, cold front she usually puts up, you know." I nod, she ignores me. "I was so relieved, so unbelievably relieved. Finally some emotion! So before I knew what was happening, I grabbed her and kissed her. She ran away after I came to my senses and stopped the kiss." She puts her head on the table, sighing.

"It's ok, Naomi. We'll fix it, don't worry about it." I tell her as I stroke her hair. She murmurs something I can't hear. "Trust me." I say absentmindedly as I feel my phone vibrate. I squeeze Naomi's arm briefly, get up and check who the text is from. With a smile, I finish making the tea and sit down at the table with Naomi. I watch her drink her tea in silence and look down at my phone again. The text is short and to the point:

It's done. Call U when she falls asleep.  
XOX K.

"Was that Katie?" Naomi mumbles after a while, sounding really tired. "Is Emily ok? Did she get home safely?" She hides a yawn behind her hand.

"She's fine." I tell her, smiling softly to her. "Come on, I'll help you up the stairs." I get her to the feet, she's leaning on me heavily, yawning every other second. She shuffles up the stairs, I'm halfway carrying her by the time we reach the top. I lay her down gently, she's already sleeping quite heavily.

"You're probably gonna hate me in the morning." I tell her, stroking her hair. "I'm sorry." As if on cue, my phone rings when I shut the door behind me.

"All clear on my end." I answer, listening to Katie blabber on, on the other end. "Yeah, I'll be there to pick you up in about 10 minutes." Heading down the stairs again, I answer the next question I'm asked. "The car's parked around the corner. I rung my mum about it yesterday." I grab the keys from the bowl by the door. "No, I haven't been drinking since before we went out and I only had a beer then. I never put vodka in my mixer and I kept pouring my drinks out behind the couch at the club." I laugh when I hear the answer. "Yes, I can be sneaky, I'll see you soon."

Hanging up the phone, I open the car door and get in. This is going to be fun. I grin to myself in the mirror as I pull out of the parking space.

* * *

***Grins* What is Katie and Effy up to? I guess you all just have to wait and see.**

**Thanks for all the reviews and thanks to the crazy people who've put me as one of their favorite writers. Not sure how to respond to that one... Other then thanks and you are all crazy since I'm not a writer... I'm just pretending :P**

**Anyways, let me know what you all thought about the longest chapter yet. :D**


	23. Leap of faith

**A/N: I know, I know! *Holds up hands* I had a few weeks off uni to write a paper and decided to go home to get some peace and quiet and all... Turns out my mother's modem decided to die while I was away. (It's been replaced and all now.) And then I went to Oslo for my birthday. I got drunk, my friends got drunk, they decided to try and set me up with a friend they had... You know, the usual. (btw: what is up with straight friends trying to push every bi-curious girl they meet in front of you? Do I push them towards my male friends? No! *scoffs*)**

**Anyways; as a result of no internet, I got my paper done in record time and wrote this. I toyed with the idea of breaking it in two, but... Here we are. Have fun :D**

**Chapter 22: Leap of faith.**

She drifted in and out of consciousness, something didn't feel right. Voices was drifting around her, she tried to make sense of them. Her head felt heavy, her eyes wouldn't open. She thought she heard Effy talking to someone, words washing over her. She fought against the feeling of slipping back into blackness, pushed against it, the fog seemed to clear a little.

"…Not sure this was such a good idea…" The voice was still far away, she could only make out a few words at a time. "…going to kill us…" Was that Katie? What the hell was she doing here? She went home, didn't she? Concentrating, she tried to make sense of the next string of words.

"…wanted them together…" Effy this time, she was sure of it. The blackness started creeping back, she pushed at it again. "…only lasts for twelve hours…Fine in the morning…" She wondered what only lasted for twelve hours, maybe they were talking about some sort of show or something. She couldn't get her brain to work properly. They were closer now, a shuffling noise was swimming in her ears, it was the only way she could describe it. Like waves of sound against her ears.

"…my fucking sister!" Katie sounded mad all of a sudden, much closer too. She hoped Katie wasn't mad at Effy, they were so cute together, not that she would ever consider telling them that. And what was it about Emily? They must be in her room with her, she realized, why would they be here? She should tell them to leave. Her eyelids felt like they had weights attached to them though. Her body wouldn't move. It was useless, she felt sleep tug at her again.

"…Next to her… get pillow… right back…" Effy again, what the hell was going on? Why was Effy talking about a pillow? Maybe they wanted to borrow one? Something warm was placed near her back, it felt nice. She felt like sighing, but couldn't get the sound out. She wanted to increase the contact with this new warm thing. Someone lifted her head, smoothed out her hair, her bed felt somehow softer now.

"…Look good together… better then us?" Katie's voice had dropped a little, a note of uncertainty in it. She could barely make out the words Effy said back. Something about yours and mine and us, she couldn't make sense of it. It sounded nice though, soothing. She wanted to smile at them, then tell them to get the hell out of her room and be cute somewhere else.

The warm thing at her back was shifted, pressed closer to her. The last thing she heard before she let the calm wash over her and take her back to the blackness, was Katie saying something about operation anomaly being complete. She was sure she'd heard wrong though. Operation anomaly, what kind of a name was that?

It was the best nights sleep she had ever had, she snuggled closer to the warmth at her back and felt content. She didn't really want to wake up, but her side ached a bit, made it almost impossible to fall back to sleep. When exactly did her bed become so hard? She frowned and burrowed deeper into her pillow, shifting slightly. Still just as hard as before, she should really think about changing her mattress, maybe flipping it would help? She sighed, she should ask Effy to help her with that later, it could wait though.

Stretching, trying to ease the pain in her side, she rolled over and grabbed hold of that warm soft something next to her. Wondering what it was, she cracked her eyes open just a fraction. All she could see was red, she closed her eyes again. Sure it was another flicker, she tightened her hold, waiting for the floating sensation to begin. She could feel her skin humming, it really was a curious feeling. Her heart sped up in her chest, goose bumps erupted up her arms. The flicker felt like it took forever to come, she never usually waited this long, did she?

Her eyes opened again, still just a fraction. The world was still red, nothing but red. "Has to be a dream" She mumbled, burying her face in the hair in front of her. She inhaled deeply, sighing as all her senses was assaulted by one thing, Emily. She drifted back to sleep with a smile on her face as she felt a hand cover her own, lacing their fingers together. She was quite sure this was the best dream she'd ever had.

Emily… In her arms… Feeling warm… Feeling real…

Her eyes shot open, breath caught in her throat. Her entire body froze as she tried making sense of where she was. Her lungs were starting to burn, mind whirring at a million miles an hour. The alleyway came back to her, her lips on Emily's. She pushed those thoughts away, they weren't important right now. She could see a bathtub, tiles on the walls,. Why the hell would she be on the floor in her bathroom? Her eyes flicked down and landed on red hair. Her mind went blank, breath returning in shallow gasps.

Her mind caught up a few minutes later, or at least she thought it was minutes. It might as well have been hours for all she cared or knew. Her arms were still wrapped firmly around Emily, her head buried in her hair. Slowly she untangled her fingers from Emily's hand, drawing the arm away from her waist. She was hoping she could get out of there without Emily ever knowing she had been there. She lifted her head and shuffled over to create some space between their bodies, the loss of contact hit her like a punch in the stomach.

She closed her eyes for a second, trying to control her breathing, slow down her heart. Emily moved in her sleep, shifting slightly, trapping her arm under her. She watched the steady rise and fall of her sides, transfixed. Time seemed to melt away again. Shaking her head, she made the thoughts about just laying back down disappear. She had to move before Emily woke up, had to get out of here before she did something stupid.

She hold her breath while slowly extracting the arm from underneath Emily, exhaling only when it was free. She shuffled further away from her, eyes never leaving the other girls body. Getting to her feet, ignoring the stiffness in her limbs, she slowly backed away towards the door. Her hand connected with it, fumbling for a second to find the handle. One last look on Emily and she turned to open it, fully expecting to be out of there and that the door would open. She pressed the handle down and nothing happened. It wouldn't budge, she tried using more force, still nothing.

Her eyes went back to Emily when she heard her shift, stilling her frantic attempts of getting the door open. She was still sleeping though, hugging the pillow as if she was afraid it would disappear if she didn't hang on to it. Naomi shifted her focus back to the door again, realizing that it was probably locked. The key wasn't in the door, she bent down and peered through the key-hole and saw… Nothing.

"This is just bloody brilliant." She muttered to herself, almost clamping a hand over her mouth when she heard it come out. She closed her eyes and hoped Emily hadn't heard her. When she didn't hear anything, she sighed and slid down the length of the door. She sat there, head resting against the door, hoping that an idea would come to her. Her hand suddenly brushed against a piece of paper. Puzzled, she looked down.

Hey you two,  
We locked you up because we don't like the way you keep circling each other.  
So you two need to get your act together and find a way to get along.  
We're sorry, but we couldn't think of another way.  
There's food in the tub, don't worry it's not drugged this time.  
Both your phones have been taken, couldn't have you call anyone.  
Have fun in there and try not to kill each other.  
See you on the other side.

Katie and Effy.

P.S: Naomi, there's cigarettes in the bathroom closet.

Fighting the urge to laugh, she leaned back against the door again. This was messed up, Effy drugged her and locked her in a bathroom with Emily? What the hell was she thinking? And how was she going to explain this to Emily? She looked over at the sleeping form on the floor, that incessant tugging feeling was back, pulling at her. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"Wha..? Where the hell am I?" Naomi's head flew up, she had no idea how long she had been sitting against the door. Emily was looking at her, she met her stare. Even in this messed up situation, she couldn't help the way her heart sped up in her chest when she met those eyes. Couldn't help the small smile on her lips at the confused expression on Emily's face. She looked so goddamn adorable with that expression, her tussled hair and still sleepy eyes. Actually, on second thought, it wasn't adorable at all, it was hot as hell. She gulped, trying desperately to push that thought away.

"You're locked in my bathroom." She told her, watching as her eyes grew to the size of teacups. "Don't look at me, I'm locked in here too." She smirked, seeing the confused expression falter into the same stony resolve when it dawned on her who she was in there with. The smirk fell away. "Here, this might explain a few things." She handed the paper she'd been clutching in her hand ever since she found it, to Emily. She was careful not to touch her though, didn't trust herself not to pounce on her, kissing her until neither of them cared where they were. She closed her eyes as Emily started to read the note in a misguided attempt at trying to remove the temptation.

"They can't do this!" Emily sounded angry, her voice was low though. The enhanced huskiness in it sent shivers down Naomi's spine. "This is bloody kidnapping. I will KILL Katie when I see her next."

"If they ever let us out…" Naomi supplied, grinning. She cracked her eyes open, Emily had shifted to the other side of the room.

"If they ever let us out." Emily nodded, her face hidden behind her hair. Even with the added space between them, her scent hung in the air. It was driving Naomi crazy, her hands twitched at her side, she looked down at them. "I don't suppose there's another way out of here?" Emily asked, making her snap out of the thoughts of where she wanted to put those hands.

"Oh yes, my secret passage way is behind the toilet, just flush it three times in a row and the door opens. Can't believe I didn't think of that before." She said in her most serious voice. Emily frowned at her. "Sorry, I guess you're stuck in here with me until they open the door." She knocked it for emphasis.

"I can't believe they did this." Emily sighed. Naomi didn't bother to inform her that it was probably her fault, maybe if she hadn't moaned about Emily constantly for the last few months to Effy… Well, maybe she wouldn't have resorted to extreme measures. She did wonder how she got Katie to play along though.

"So…" She said, trying to diffuse the situation. " Did your kidnapper serve you tea too? Or did she get you some other way?"

"Tea." Was the only reply she got. The silence stretched, she tried to think of something other to say, but drew a blank. She stretched out her legs in front of her, before placing them underneath herself again and getting up.

"Might as well see what they meant about that food part." She said out loud, voicing the first thought that popped in to her head. Well, the second thought. She stepped over to the tub and peered into it. "Alright, we have Garibaldi's." She held up a couple purple packages. "Some sort of sandwiches, not sure what's on them though, but there's a lot of them." She held up the plastic bag with the sandwiches in it. "And for some reason they think of this as food." She raised the last two items in there with a grin, turning to face Emily. "Could explain the massive amounts of sandwiches."

"Spliff and fucking vodka?" Emily said, looking disbelieved and intrigued at the same time. "Do they expect us to have a fucking party?" She got up too and went to look into the bathtub too. Naomi could feel the heat from her, it took all her strength not to lean into her. She suddenly understood why Effy had supplied the vodka.

"Maybe they want us to toast to their health and happiness." She said, her mouth going dry at the flash of amusement in Emily's eyes. Maybe she wasn't going to kill Effy or Katie when she got out of here, this was getting better by the minute. If only she could drag her eyes off the way Emily's hair fell in her face, or the steady rise and fall of her chest. She suddenly found the shower curtain immensely fascinating. "I…" She croaked out, her mouth going dry. "I need a smoke." She finished lamely, moving away from Emily again. This was easier to cope with when there was a bit more space between them.

"Open the window." Was the only answer. Was the voice a bit huskier again? Or was it all in her head? She swallowed and opened the closet. On top of a huge pile of towels was two packs of cigarettes and a lighter. She took them out, putting one pack in her pocket, taking the other with her. She sighed when the first hit of nicotine hit her bloodstream.

"I wish we had coffee." She said, looking out across the garden. She looked down, judging the distance to the ground. Too high to jump and nothing to hold on to if they decided to climb down. Emily walked up next to her again, staring silently out the window too. Was she doing this on purpose? Didn't she know how the proximity was doing her head in? Probably not, was the conclusion she came to.

Emily's hand was suddenly on hers, she turned and looked at her. "Mind if I steal one?" She looked down at their hands and saw the pack of cigarettes in her own hand.

"No… ehh.. Go ahead." She said quietly, watching as Emily took the pack from her hand taking away her own hand in the process. "Do you need a light?" She asked when the cigarette was between Emily's lips. She had never really gotten the whole wanting to be an inanimate object thing, but right at this moment she would have given her left arm to be that cigarette. Brown eyes met her own, sparkling slightly. Hope sprang up in her, just a little glimmer of it, but enough to make her smile as she lit the cigarette she wished she could be.

She couldn't keep her eyes off the hand that brought the smoke up and down to Emily's lips. Her own drags were sporadic as a result, but hers were steady, almost rhythmically. It was the most fascinating thing she had seen in a while, she drew her eyes away at the thought. She threw her cigarette out the window and went to sit by the tub, again trying to put some distance between them. She grabbed the pillow from the floor and put it behind her, making it slightly more comfortable to sit there. She felt a flicker brush against her mind, but pushed it away. She had no intention of having one in front of Emily. Rubbing her temples, trying to stop the feeling from overwhelming her, she felt Emily sit down next to her.

They sat there in silence, passing one of the packs of Garabaldi's between them, slowly working their way through it. Naomi was counting the number of times their hands accidentally touched. She had gotten to 12 when the phone started ringing outside the door, breaking the silence. Naomi looked at the door, listening to it echo through the house. She suddenly started wondering where Effy and Katie were.

"Where do you think Katie and Effy are?" She asked Emily, looking back at her, adding touch number 13 to the list as she handed the purple pack to her. Each touch felt like a fresh jolt of electricity, it was almost unnerving how one little touch could affect her this easily.

A frown appeared on Emily's face and she just shrugged. "Dunno."

"I would have thought they would be right outside the door trying to listen in." The phone stopped ringing just before the machine picked it up, she tried listening for people talking, but there was no sound. "You know, with a glass pressed up against it?" She smiled at Emily, but she was still frowning. She sighed and let the smile drop. The flicker was still pressing against her, making her head throb a little.

"I need a drink." Emily suddenly said, standing up and retrieving the vodka bottle.

"Me too." She sighed. "Who knows, maybe it'll give us some ideas on how to get out of here." Emily just shot her a look, taking a deep swig of the bottle.

They were halfway through the bottle when Emily suddenly grinned widely and turned to her. "We could rip up the towels, twine them together and make a rope." She passed the bottle back to Naomi, still grinning.

"You want to rip up my towels?" Naomi shook her head, still trying to rid herself of the impending flicker, she could feel it building. Feel it trying to take hold of her, she had to get out of here. She didn't know how she could explain why she was staring slack jawed into space for several minutes. At least that was what she told herself, the real reason was how she would react if she came out of it and found the "real" Emily in front of her. She would probably do something beyond stupid. She took another drink of the bottle.

"Do you have a better idea?" Emily asked, wobbling over to the bathroom closet and started pulling out a bunch of towels, throwing them behind her.

"Fuck it, I suppose I don't." She got up and felt her head spin. "I'm so gonna make Katie and Effy buy new ones." She grumbled. The phone started ringing again.

"Gah, I wish that ringing would just fuck off." Emily exclaimed, rooting through the medicine cabinet now. "Do you have any scissors or razorblades or something? Something sharp? Never mind, found it." She held up the tiny scissors in triumph. Naomi smiled at her.

"I don't think that thing will do much harm, Ems." She didn't even flinch at the nickname, or even register that it was out of her mouth. She was too busy grinning at the fierce concentration on Emily's face as she tried getting the scissors to take.

"I only need a start, I can rip the rest of it." She answered, frowning at the offending cloth. Naomi just looked at her. "Are you just gonna stand there and stare or are you going to help?" The ringing finally stopped, again before the machine could pick up.

"Tell you what, I'll make you a bet. You said last night that I didn't know you and that's why we can't be friends." Emily's eyes snapped up, anger evident on her face. Naomi held up her hands. "Just listen." Emily's mouth snapped shut, she had obviously been on her way to say something and by the look on her face it wouldn't have been nice. "I bet that I know you, that I can tell you a few things you've never or hardly ever told anyone before." The idea had come to her around the 17th time they accidentally touched, if she could only prove that she did know Emily, maybe things would be better.

"Fine, but if you don't know anything about me… You get to rip up all of these." Emily looked half intrigued, half annoyed. Naomi took a deep breath, hoping against hope that her theory about what the flickers were, was right.

"Deal." She said, smiling at Emily. "Here goes… I know your favourite sandwich is marmite and honey, although for the life of me I can't think why." She looked for confirmation in the others face and found it. God, she was beautiful.

"I know you were afraid to sleep when you were 7, because your mother told you your grandma had gone to sleep forever, instead of telling you she had died. You were terrified that you would fall asleep and never wake up again." Again the slight widening of Emily's eyes confirmed that she was spot on, it spurred her on.

"You have three scars that means something to you and has taught you something. The first one is behind your left knee and is a chicken pox scar. It taught you to listen to your dad when he gave you advice. The second is on your neck, almost hidden behind your hairline. That one taught you not to trust Katie, cause you got it when she whacked you over the head with a Barbie she told you that you could have. The last one is the one you're actually proud of, it's not even a big scar. You wouldn't know it was there unless you really looked, it's on your right hand, just below your thumb. You got that when you rescued James when he was 2 from a dog. It taught you to be brave and to protect the ones you love. Oh, and the dog was a poodle by the way, but you were 6 at the time so it looked huge to you."

"How did you…" Naomi held up a hand again, stilling her interruption, a slight smile on her face.

"I'm not done yet." her smile deepened at the curious expression on Emily's face. "You hate your coffee black, but you think freshly ground coffee smells like heaven. Your favourite colour used to be red, you've been wanting to colour your hair red since you were 12 by the way, but it's now blue." Part of that last one wasn't technically from a flicker, but it was still true. She met Emily's eyes and took a step towards her.

"You say your favourite flower is a tie between daisies because they make you happy and daffodils because you learnt that the meaning behind them was unrequited love, but really none of them are." She took another step towards Emily. "Your real favourite flower is forget-me-nots." She could see the swirls in Emily's eyes, they pulled at her. Her voice dropped down to a whisper as she continued.

"You lick your lips when you're nervous, or you play with your hair. Your eyes light up when it's raining on your days off, because you love to spend time curled up on the couch with a book and a hot chocolate on days like that." Those eyes were still swirling, mesmerizing her. This time Emily was the one stepping towards her.

"When you finish college you want to travel. Mexico, India, Australia, The US, Europe in general, basically all over the world. You want to try all the food, see all the places and meet the people you've read about or seen on TV." Emily moved again, they were nearly toe to toe now.

"So you see? I know you Emily." She raised her arm and slowly, hesitantly and placed a hand on her face, brushing her cheek with her thumb. "I know you." It was like she broke through some unseen barrier in those eyes. She could see the wonder in them. Her heart was beating so loudly in her chest it she was sure she was going deaf.

The phone rang again, breaking the spell. Emily blinked once, twice, it was like watching reality hit her. Naomi could see the walls coming back up, she let her hand drop just before Emily took a step back. The look on her face became unreadable again, it made her sigh with regret. She was going to rip the damn phone out when she got out of here. She walked over to the window, her back towards Emily. She lit a cigarette and listened to the phones continued ringing, the ripping sound started up again.

They didn't talk for as long as the phone kept ringing. Naomi occupied herself with thinking about all the other things she knew about Emily, things she hadn't said to her. Like the way she would sigh her name if she kissed that one spot on her neck. The way she looked at her when she first woke up, so filled with love and happiness it almost was too much. The way she always used any excuse to touch her, even if it was just casually brushing against her. She stared at the backyard, feeling her head ache for real now, the flicker she was holding back almost breaking through again. She had to do something, make Emily talk to her.

"Why do you keep shutting me out?" She said as the last ring of the phone died. "Is it something I did? Something I can change?" She wanted to say that she would do anything for her, cut off her legs if that was what she wanted. She just stood there though, face turned away from Emily. She didn't think she could stand to see that closed off look on her face anymore.

"There is nothing you can do." Emily answered, sounding cold. "I just don't want to be anyone's second choice." That made Naomi's head whip around.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Second choice?" She glared at Emily who was done ripping now and was tying the fraying towel bits together. "What makes you think you're my second choice?"

"Come on Naomi." Her voice took on an edge she couldn't place. "We both know I'm not the one you originally wanted." Naomi frowned, not quite knowing how to answer that one. She didn't understand what Emily was talking about. Somewhere in the background the damn phone was ringing again.

"I'm going to fucking crush that stupid phone." She muttered before she stepped up next to Emily and grabbed her arms, stilling her movements. "I don't know what you're talking about." She tried to get her confusion across in the way she looked at her. "Tell me what you mean. Please, just tell me what to do." She was begging now, but she didn't care.

"I saw you, you know. In my backyard, heard what you told her." Emily was hissing out the words, her eyes were suddenly a roaring tempest of emotions. "Let's see if I can remember it correctly. Ahh yes. 'You know you're the only one for me'. I think that's what you said." She pulled her arms away from Naomi's grip. "She always did that you know, took whatever I wanted. Made me feel like I was some sort of accessory. I hate her for it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Naomi felt herself get angry too, she couldn't make sense of what Emily was trying to tell her. The ringing phone fuelled it.

"What do you think I'm talking about? She obviously likes you too, always talking about you. You know, the first thing she told me about meeting you was that you'd checked her out and how much it repulsed her. Guess she got over that one, huh? She's always talking about you in some way. It's Naomi this, Naomi that and whenever she talks about Effy, it's always Naomi's friend Effy. She always finds some way of mentioning you. I honestly thought…" She drew a breath. "It doesn't matter. She never could let me have anything for myself." Naomi's eyebrows shot up as it dawned on her what she meant. Emily was fuming, turning away from her.

"You mean… Katie?" She asked, mainly to confirm what she already knew. The thought was ridiculous, her lips twitched at the thought. Emily gave her a nod, still not looking at her. She wasn't sure what to do though, she couldn't say anything about Katie and Effy. "I don't…"

"Don't fucking bother. I'm not blind." Emily cut her off, she closed her mouth with a click. She wouldn't listen, not until she calmed down. Naomi just knew it. She heard the machine picking up the phone somewhere in the background. She stayed silent and watched Emily's back, willing her to turn around and look at her.

"Girls!" Her mother's voice suddenly boomed through the house and into the bathroom. "For fucks sake, you know I hate talking to this bleeding thing Naomi, pick up." There was a silence as if she was actually waiting for someone to magically appear and pick up the phone. She could see Emily half turn towards the door as if she was listening intently.

"Oh, bollocks. Fine! I just wanted to let you know we've gotten to Thailand alright, the flight from India was fine, a bit crowded, but fine. I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, but that last hotel we stayed at was in the middle of nowhere and a downpour made the phone lines cut out. Of course Kieran managed to loose the cell phone in a goddamn puddle, so that's dead. So I thought I should call you now instead, but it seems you have buggered off somewhere the both of you." Naomi almost laughed at the last statement, her mother hadn't changed one bit.

"I don't have much time, a bit short on coins, but I just wanted to say a few things to the pair of you. Naomi, get your head out of your arse and tell the girl already. You like her, I can tell by the way you're talking about her. I will have Effy smack you if nothing happens soon." Naomi snorted at that statement. Effy wouldn't have any need of smacking her, she had already taken the situation to an extreme. Emily seemed to stiffen, her back tensing. Naomi wished she could put a hand on it, or hug her, to try and make her relax. She was obviously taking this as a confirmation that she, for some reason she didn't understand, liked Katie.

"And Effy." Her mother's voice boomed out again, making her look at the door. "If this Katie girl doesn't come to her senses and tell Emily about the two of you, Emily was her sisters name right? Oh well, I'll just call her that and you can correct me later." It was Naomi's time to tense, Emily still didn't know about Katie and Effy. "The point is, she's probably scared. Her sister is the gay one, she's the one that's supposed to be straight and all. It must be scary, falling for a girl for the first time. You just give her some time, she'll be a fool to let you go. You are a wonderful person. Oh, and the same advice as the one I gave Naomi applies to you too. Tell her you love her already, she's probably not sure you do. Right, I have to go, the phone is…." The machine died.

The silence stretched, Naomi looked down at the half finished rope on the floor. She picked up an end and continued working on it. She didn't look at Emily, couldn't bring herself to answer the questions. She felt a hand on her shoulder, she closed her eyes at the contact. The hand slid down her back before it came to a stop at her hipbone. She bit her lip considering her options, should she say something?

"Look at me Naomi." That husky voice murmured behind her, she could feel the other hand gripping her other hipbone, twisting her around. She kept her eyes closed, if Emily still had that stony, angry, closed off look in her eyes, it would kill her. Her own hands clutched the rope, she looked down at it.

She drew a shaky breath. "I couldn't tell you about Katie and Effy, I promised I wouldn't." She heard the words leave her, but didn't know where they came from. She twisted the rope, trying to focus on anything other then how close Emily was. Hands gripped her own, making her stop moving them. She looked at them.

"How long have they been together?" She could tell the question was only to make her talk to her, it didn't matter though.

"I don't know." She shrugged, still looking at their hands. Emily's thumb started making soothing motions, slowly tracing circles. She didn't think Emily was aware of what she was doing. "All I know is that they match, they're good together." The circle motions stopped for a second before starting up again.

"And… Did you like her? Katie, I mean." It came out quieter, almost breathless. It was as if Emily was holding her breath, waiting for an answer. Naomi shook her head and could feel some of the tension she felt from Emily disappear.

"Katie confronted me in your backyard because she was scared there was something going on between me and Effy. I told her there wasn't, the part about me only having eyes for her, was a joke." Naomi raised her eyes to meet Emily's. They were soft, a light brown colour. "And I never checked out Katie. I looked at her, but only because you weren't there. I was looking for you." One of Emily's hands travelled up her arm, goose bumps rose in it's wake.

"The girl your mother talked about, who is she?" Naomi swallowed, her eyes never leaving those swirling brown pools. She could feel the electricity in the air, the sense of something coming.

She could see the hope in Emily's eyes, the answering of what she felt herself. She took one last shaky breath and answered. "You." She saw the relief, saw the tension leave. The cold version of Emily melted away completely. Naomi smiled softly at her.

They stood there staring at each other, none of them moving, not a word left their lips. A different kind of tension started rising, Naomi could feel it around her. She wasn't sure who broke eye contact first, but her own eyes drifted down to Emily's lips, she looked back up into those eyes. Looking for confirmation. Emily answered by pulling her closer. She dropped the rope on the floor and grabbed Emily, drawing her the rest of the way in.

Still a bit hesitant, she lowered her head towards her, still looking into her eyes. They closed when she was an inch away. She could feel Emily's breath on her lips, see the tongue coming out wetting them, it became to much to try and stop. She didn't want to stop. Emily finally tugged her down, their lips meeting in a chaste kiss. Her own eyes closed. She could feel Emily's body moulding itself to her, a perfect match. She pulled back, breaking the kiss, wanting to give Emily some space if she needed it.

She opened her eyes again, trying desperately to control her breathing. It was hard to do with Emily so close to her. She watched as Emily opened her own eyes, meeting her stare. What she saw in them took what little breath she had left away. Before her head had time to tell her to give Emily some space, tell her she should let Emily set the pace, she pulled her back in for another kiss.

Swirling dark brown eyes, filled with want and adoration, swam in her mind. Soft lips on her own, a tongue slowly tracing her lower lip. She opened her mouth, pulling Emily even closer. Her own tongue eagerly meeting Emily's. She could feel their heartbeats struggling to synch up. This was so much better then any flicker, it was just so much more. Her stomach felt like it was on a rollercoaster, hurtling endlessly down. She had never felt anything quite like it in her life. She could feel Emily's hands clutching her, like she was trying to draw her into herself. The lack of oxygen made her feel light-headed, but she couldn't bring herself to stop.

Reluctantly, she drew away, resting her head on Emily's forehead. "So I'm guessing this means you kinda, sorta like me too?" She asked, opening her eyes again. Her heart was still beating like it was trying to get out of her chest.

"What gave me away?" Emily drew her head back, smiling up at her. Her eyes were shining, Naomi smiled back. It seemed a bit surreal that Emily was right in front of her, in her arms. She tightened her hold on her, not wanting to let go yet. She could feel Emily sigh and lean into her. They stood there, hugging each other.

"We should get out of here." Naomi said after a while, Emily mumbled something against her neck in reply. She closed her eyes briefly at the sensation. "I'm sorry? I didn't hear you." She tangled her hand in Emily's hair, watching the red, smiling.

"I said, I don't want to move." Emily mumbled a little louder, stroking a hand up her spine. "A few more minutes?" Naomi breathed in, grinning to herself.

"Alright, a few more minutes." She kissed Emily's temple, lowering her head onto her shoulder. "But eventually we have to get out of here. I refuse to spend the rest of my life in a bathroom. Besides if we stay here, who's going to kill Effy and Katie?" Emily laughed and she could feel her knees starting to shake with the sound of it. It was the most beautiful thing she had heard.

"Come on." Emily said after a while, stepping out from Naomi's embrace, she didn't let go of her hand though. "Let's see if this thing is going to work." She indicated to the rope. "Ehh, we probably have to finish it though." She gathered up an end with her free hand.

"You probably need your other hand." Naomi said, letting go reluctantly, sighing. She sat down next to Emily, watching her braiding the towel pieces together. "Are you sure this thing is going to work?" She wrinkled her nose at the makeshift rope.

"It should… If it's long enough." Emily stared up at her for a few moments, Naomi brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes, staring back.

"I trust you." She said, smiling. Emily blushed, looking back down at her hands. Naomi squeezed her thigh, touching her simply because she could. She could still feel that flicker pushing to get through, but it was easier to ignore when Emily was this close.

"We'll see how you feel about it when you plummet to your death." She heard her say. Looking at her, Naomi saw the grimace on her face.

"Way to inspire confidence, Ems." She smirked, laughing at the amusement in the others eyes.

"Shut up." Emily answered, grinning slightly. "Or I will make you shut up." She added, raising an eyebrow.

"See, now you're making me want to talk and talk and ta…" Emily cut her off by placing a finger on her lips. "Ok." she mumbled over it. "I'll shut up now. I think… Maybe…" Emily rolled her eyes and moved her finger away. "No eye rolling please, that's my move."

"Your move?" Emily asked, looking at her a bit curious, still braiding the rope together.

"Yeah, passed down through generations of Campbell women. At least that's what my mother claims, I've never really seen her roll her eyes though, so it might be one of her flights of fancy." Naomi shrugged, glancing at Emily.

"Generations? Riiight…" She waited until Emily was looking at her, before she rolled her eyes spectacularly. Emily snorted with laughter.

"See? Perfected." She grinned, taking the end of the rope that was offered to her.

"Yeah yeah, you're the queen of eye rolls." Emily said. "Now would you please find somewhere to tie this thing? Just make sure it's secure though." She glanced at Naomi, smiling at her. "You do know how to make a proper knot, right?" Naomi just grinned at her again, before tying the end securely to the base of the sink.

"You know." She said as she finished making sure the knot was tight enough. "I think it's time we take a few hits of this." She held up the spliff she'd put in her shirt pocket when she had found it. "Not to get stoned out of our minds, but to make sure we're brave enough to actually do it. Wouldn't be all that much fun if one of us froze halfway down."

"Is this your way of telling me you're afraid of heights?" Emily tried to hide her smirk, but failed spectacularly. Naomi just shot her a glare and held out the spliff towards her, Emily took it and placed it between her lips. "Might as well." She shrugged, Naomi reached out and lit the spliff, again becoming aware of the sudden want to be an inanimate object.

"Thanks." She murmured as she took the spliff, taking a hit. "And you're the one talking about plummeting to your death, not me." Emily just grinned at her. She threw the other end of the rope out the window, watching as it stopped moving. From where she was standing it looked like it ended about 5 feet from the ground. That could potentially be a problem. Emily moved up besides her, staring down too.

"Looks like we might have to drop the last few feet." Emily mumbled, frowning down the length of the makeshift rope.

"Which is why we're smoking some of this." Naomi held the smoke up between them. "I heard that a guy in Russia or something, jumped out a window on the second floor and walked away without a scratch. He was drunk off his ass. The other people freaked though and called an ambulance." She grinned at the incredulous stare on Emily's face.

"Right, so one of us should have just chugged down the vodka bottle and jumped out the window, is that what you're trying to say?" Emily shot her one of those 'you've got to be fucking kidding me' looks and carefully plucked the spliff from Naomi's fingers, putting it out. "I think you've had enough." She said with another suspicious glare. Naomi just laughed.

"So…" She said as soon as her laughter had subsided. "I think I should go first." Emily looked like she was going to protest. "No no, it make sense. I'm bigger and heavier then you, if I make it down…" She let the sentence die, picturing herself in a bloody heap on the ground below. She swallowed, pushing the thoughts away. "If I make it down, you know it's safe."

"That's ridiculous, Naomi." Emily's voice made her look up from the ground and meet her eyes. The way she had said her name, her mind went a bit foggy. "What if you get hurt? How the hell am I supposed to get help?" Concern and anger shone in those swirling brown eyes in front of her. It made her want to lean in and kiss her.

"Relax." She said instead. "If I get hurt, just down the rest of the vodka and jump after me." She grinned at Emily and climbed out the window before she had a chance to respond. "Besides… If I fall down, we won't have to have that awkward talk we've been avoiding. You know, the one about that kiss?" She slid another few feet down the 'rope', this was probably going to give her rope burns.

"Hmm. I never thought about it like that." Emily's head appeared over her as she looked up. "Maybe you should fall." Emily grinned at her, but her eyes were still worried.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Naomi shot back up at her, panting slightly, feeling her arms burn from the effort of lowering herself slowly to the ground. She really should start working out she decided. The damn flicker was getting insistent again, she desperately pushed it away, trying to focus on the ground instead. Thankfully it was closer now, she'd reached the end of the rope and all she had to do now was jump down. She looked back up towards Emily and let go of the rope.

"You ok?" Emily's voice was worried. "Naomi?" The wind had been completely knocked out of her when she landed on her back, but everything felt like it was working. She wiggled her toes, moved her arms.

"Yeah." She croaked out. "Just got the wind knocked out of me." She got to her feet a bit unsteadily as Emily swung her legs out the window.

"I'm coming down now." She heard Emily announce as she started lowering herself. She seemed to move a lot faster then Naomi though. She heard her mumble to herself, something sounding like naughty bar and thanking her father. She grinned, having already heard of the infamous naughty bar from Katie. She saw her hesitate when she came to the end of the rope, her feet dangling.

"Just let go, Emily." She said, trying to get her to drop the rest of the way down. All she heard was muffled words, she stepped as close to the still kicking legs as she could. "Emily." She murmured, the legs stopped flailing and she moved up to them putting a hand on them. "I've got you, trust me."

"I'm scared." Her voice sounded pitiful, small. It made Naomi's heart clench.

"Listen to me. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." She rubbed the legs in front of her, moving them up to her hipbones. "I've got you, just let go." She repeated, twisting Emily around so that her front was towards her. "Look at me, it's ok. Just… Trust me."

Emily looked down at her and let go.

* * *

**Yes yes, sort of cliffhanger... I'm an animal and all. Oh, and this idea? I've had it for a while, kept wishing for someone to do it. (stick them in an elevator that breaks or something, I just took it to an extreme.)**

**And I said after one of the other chapters that it would be the only flicker free chapter... Obviously I lied. *Grins* **

**Push the review button to yell at me for taking too long to update, I know you want to.**

**Oh, and I'll be reviewing what I've missed soonish. Deal?**


	24. There's always two sides

**A/N: FFN have been fucking up lately, otherwise this would have been up days ago, on that note...**

**I interrupt the little Naomily bubble we were in to give you this. I think it will please you all greatly *grins***

**This one is different (again... I know... I should probably just stick to one form of narrative and all, but...) In case it's not clear enough for you guys (I highly doubt anyone will miss it, but you know...) it's in diary form. And it means we get to see some of what Emily have been up to in London. And since Skins did it in season 3, I'm gonna do it here too... It's joint with Katie.**

**So without further rambling, here you go :D**

**Chapter 23: There's always two sides**

_**Emily - London.**_

Dear diary. (Fuck, that sounds like a cliché.)

I wouldn't be writing this, but the therapist my mum is making me see, swears it will help. You know, sort things out in my head, or whatever. I haven't really written in one of these since I was 12 and Katie tore out that page. She told me it was so that our parents wouldn't find out I was a freak, but I think she was only looking out for herself. She threw it in the trash, but I found the page later and hid it. Problem is, I have no idea where anymore. So somewhere in my house, there's a page that practically proves I've known I was gay since I was 12. Go me!

My mother (THE COW!) dragged me to London 2 months ago. Things between her and my dad had been going downhill, fast. Ever since I announced that I was in love with a girl about a year ago, they've been arguing. My mum blamed herself and started trying to get me to admit that it was just a phase. My dad on the other hand, he's been really sweet about it.

"As long as you're happy Emsy love." He told me, hugging me tightly. He really is the most wonderful person in the world. It doesn't change the fact that he let my mum take me with her though. I think it's because she's his one big weakness. He'd walk through fire for us kids, but one word from my mother and he's cowering in the corner. I had to tell him to let me go, that it was ok, I just wish he'd fought a bit harder.

I have never seen him as angry as he was the day my mum announced she was taking me with her though. I know he would never hit a woman (much less my mum), but I think he came pretty close that day. No one understood why she took me. We all thought that if anyone was going to go with her, it would be Katie.

See, Katie has always been hers, her perfect little carbon copy, I was always the screw up in her eyes. I always belonged to dad, he was always mine too. When I was little and I got hurt, he was always the first I'd run to. Fitch hugs really are magic, you know. You forget what's wrong for a little while, I wish I could have one now.

I think my mum would have let my outburst about loving a girl go (She's really good at ignoring things she doesn't like or don't understand.), if it wasn't for Katie blabbing about that page she'd found. Maybe things would be different, maybe they were always meant to be different. Mum and dad wouldn't have fought like they did, they wouldn't have split up and I'd still be living in Bristol. (My therapist tells me that I'm not to blame for the divorce, I almost believe him.)

It was stupid really, talking about love when it comes to her. I'm not sure it is love. I mean, can you love someone you've only talked to once? That until two months (and a week) ago never really showed much interest? Never talked to? Not that I think brushing away dust constitutes as showing interest (I swear I felt the electricity crackle when she brushed her hand across my back. It felt… Wonderful.), but if Katie hadn't followed me as I was following her…

I think it started there, this thing I don't really know what is. These sudden flashes of blue eyes and blonde hair everywhere I go. Some of them are stronger then others, sometimes it's like I can feel her brush against me, hear her whisper in my ear. I can never really hear what she's saying though. It's driving me up the walls.

It's probably a good thing that my mum got me a therapist, even if she does think he'll turn me straight or something. He's not like that, he actually seems like a decent guy and nothing like that priest she sent me to first. I think she figured that he could somehow pray away the gay. Ridiculous thought really. She finally came to her senses when he started talking about an exorcism. Thank fuck for that! (I'm also pretty sure he was perving on me most of the time, sitting too close, sniffing my hair… The guy was a creep! Man of the cloth, my ass!)

Anyways, it was the first day of college today. It was weird not having Katie there. Weird not echoing her introduction with my own. ("I'm Emily, I've never had a boyfriend.") I got to tell people about me, without her scowling at me. People seem friendly though, even if she would call the people I talked to geeks and nerds and stuff. (I swear I could almost hear her scoffing as I introduced myself to this guy in my class. He was smoking outside and looked as lost as I felt. His name is Steve and he's from Bristol too! He looks familiar, like I should know who he is, I've probably just seen him around.)

Speaking of Katie, I should probably call her. She's probably gonna talk my ear off about all the losers she's met. I can practically hear her already… I really do miss her and even my pervy brother, weird as it might sound. I miss dad the most though.

(And I miss not seeing her, I wonder if she misses me too. Oh, who am I kidding? She probably don't even know who I am. I know who she is though. She's Naomi Campbell, ice queen and constantly on my mind.)

_**Katie - Bristol**_

How do you start one of these? Like Dear Diary or something? Oh fuck it, I'm just gonna start writing.

JAMES, YOU PERV! If you're reading this I will tell dad exactly how you got those bruises on your shins! Trying to look up Mrs. Grants skirt? The woman is 86 years old, YOU FREAK! You're lucky she only hit you with her cane a couple of times and that she only hit your shins. If it was me, I'd have made sure you couldn't walk! Gah, you're so disgusting some times. (And I'll tell him about what I caught you and that creep McPherson doing in your room two days ago.) So piss off, NOW!

I'm not really sure how to write a diary, I've never done it before, but Emily mentioned (last time she called) she'd started writing one again and I miss her. Not sure why I feel the need to do it too, but I suppose it's a way of keeping her around. To feel that she isn't gone. (God, it sounds like she's dead and not in fucking London. Wish I was the one in London… Bet the people there are way cooler then here.)

I remember when we were younger… She always wrote in one of these. It didn't matter how much I tried to get her to stop, she just kept writing in it. She wouldn't show me either, kept it hidden. She used to say there were parts of her that I didn't know, it pissed me off. We had always done everything together, so that had to mean that I knew her, all of her, right?

So one day I spied on her, saw where she hid it. I think we were like 12 or 13 or something. I only read the last entry though, but I remember being horrified. Couldn't face that my sister might be gay, so I tore the page out and threw it away. (I feel bad for that now, but I was a bit of a twat back then. I probably still am.) She never wrote anything in it again.

After that, I tried my best to make her a copy of me. Not that I hadn't already, but things got worse after that. Before, I'd only told her how to dress and who to make friends with. Fucked up, yes, but as I said… It got much worse. I think I saw her as an extension of myself, as an accessory of some sort. Like if I could control her, I could control myself.

The truth is that she has always been stronger then me, braver then me. When that poodle (the thing looked fucking huge though.) attacked James when he was 2, I froze. Emily ran right up to the beast and got James out of there. We were 6, for fucks sake, and she was (and still is) his hero. I tried making up for it by beating the crap out of the guys bullying him when he started school, but Emily upstaged me once again and actually broke one boy's nose. (The guy was twice her size, dad was so proud of her. Not that he said anything in front of mum.)

When she told me she was gay, I gave her hell. Told her she was stupid. It was only because I was scared I would lose her. I tightened my hold on her, made her come on double dates. I was the stupid one, I ended up losing her after all. Maybe if I'd just kept quiet to mum about what she'd written in that diary of hers, maybe mum and dad would still be together. And she would have been with me on the first day of college. It was fucking terrifying without her. (Not that I would ever admit that to her.)

The first person I bumped into, was her. I know she was looking for Emily, but I told everyone (including Emily) that she'd been perving on me. See, I know she has been looking at Emily. For 3 years I watched her watch Emily, I never told anyone about it. I was afraid of what it would mean. And I was pissed off that she never looked at me like that. Sounds crazy, I know, but no one has ever looked at me the way she looked at Emily. I was jealous, still am. Not that I wanted her to look at me, but I wanted someone to see me the way she seemed to see Emily. So when the opportunity presented itself, I took it.

Turns out I only fucked myself over though. I tried to make her an outcast, but no one seemed to mind that she's gay. I had to worm my way into the group (invite myself along and stuff), but she… She just fit right away. The worst part is that I don't think she even tried. She put Cook in his place without much thought, and Effy seemed to have adopted her as her long lost sister or something. (I'm not sure how I feel about Effy, her brother is a legend and she doesn't seem to care about anything. And she sometimes looks at you like she can see what you're thinking, like she can see right through you.)

Naomi isn't all that bad though, she can take a joke and is actually pretty funny. Again, nothing I would ever admit. Not even under torture. I think it's a mutual thing though, like we have agreed to pick on each other and we both know it's not really all that serious. At least that's how I feel about it. I think we can be friends. (As fucked up as it might sound.)

I wonder what it would have been like if Emily was still here. Would I still want to be friends with Naomi?

(P.S: I think Effy might be flirting with me? WTF?)

_**Emily - London**_

It's getting worse. I know it sounds crazy, but I can feel her eyes on me wherever I go. Hear her constant whispers, I still can't make out the words, the only one I've ever caught is my name. I try to ignore it, try to pretend it isn't happening, but it's not working. I'm gonna talk to my therapist, maybe learn some techniques on how to block it out?

The problem is, I'm not sure I want to block it out. It feels nice to be able to close my eyes and feel her. I could do without the constant sightings of her though. I can't tell you how many times I've run down the street, following her. I swear I can see her look back at me, smiling, before she rounds the corner and disappears. Do you know how exhausting it is to see blonde braids and sky blue eyes everywhere I turn? It's like the whole of London is infected with her. (Or maybe I'm the one that's infected…)

My mum's being a total pain in the arse too. She keeps trying to set me up with guys, I finally just told her I was dating Steve. Not that I am, but it got her off my back. The idea is laughable really, he's gay as a window, anyone can see it. So whenever we go on one of our "dates" we really go out drinking (gay bars usually). He usually pulls, but I can't seem to find anyone who'll measure up to her. I came close once, she had blonde hair and blue eyes… But the shade of blue was wrong, it didn't feel right, she just wasn't right. I ran out of there, Steve found me crying my eyes out. That was the last time he ever tried getting me to pull someone. Said he's seen it before, and that no one but the real thing will ever be right for me. (Needless to say, that didn't help my crying…)

He told me he was a homophobe once, told me he walked away from his best friend because he figured out she was gay. We don't talk about her, it hurts him too much. (I don't even know her name… Huh, never really thought about that before.) I asked him if she had been blind and/or deaf, he just laughed and said he was butcher back then. That made me laugh too, because I can't really picture it.

I wonder what Katie is doing right now. She called me earlier and said she was going to some sort of pyjama party? Hosted by some kind of animal… I think it was Panda. She tells me that this Panda girl is a bit crazy, but that she has a heart of gold. It's weird hearing her talk about someone like that. The really weird part though, is that she swears it's going to be a girls night only. She also told me that she broke up with that creepy footballer two weeks ago. (About fucking time, she should never have gotten together with him in the first place.)

But her, at a party with no boys? This is the girl that once told me that it wasn't a fucking party unless "There's plenty of fit guys, alcohol and the occasional drug." at the age of 13. I think I would gladly have paid to be at that pyjama thingy.

I made her swear to call me after, hopefully it's soon. I want all the details. (And for some reason it's easier to talk to her these days. She seems to have grown up a bit. Maybe it's the people she lovingly calls "the gang"? I can't tell you how many times I've heard her say she's going out with them the last few weeks. I'm happy for her. I just wish I was there to see it for myself, but who knows… Maybe it would all be different if I was.)

Oh, there's the phone! Got to go.

_**Katie - Bristol**_

Naomi's been acting weird lately. She keeps freezing and running away. I mean, she used to stare into space, seeming to see something wonderful. (She always looked sad after though…) But these days, she's insisting that we go out to clubs that are halfway across town, uses the side entrances when she comes to school and jumps at shadows. I can't figure it out, Effy seems to know though.

Things with Effy have been weird after Panda's pyjama party. I saw a glimpse of who she was, of what she has hidden in her. It scared the shit out of me. I mean, not only was I letting my walls down around her without really noticing it, I WANTED to lower my walls for her. And for a moment, it seemed like she wanted to do the same for me.

Effy was a bit withdrawn for a few days after that. It almost seemed like she was avoiding me or something, but things have gone back to normal. (whatever that is.) Those few days were awful, I never knew how much I looked forward to seeing her, to hear her speak. It's like… No, I can't like her, not like that. Can I?

I mean, Emily is the gay one. Emily is the one that's supposed to like girls. I've only just gotten my head around it. (Even if my mum is all pleased about this guy named Steve, she never could see what was right in front of her. Lord knows, I got away with just about anything.) I can't like girls, I just can't. I like sex with guys too much… Don't I? (And it's not like I have something to compare it to…) Maybe it's just all in my head.

But if it's all in my head… Why do I want to rip Cook's face off for ever having touched her? Why do I look at her and wish… Wish I could get to know her better. Wish that I knew how kissing her would feel like.

I wish I could talk to Emily about it. Ask her how she knew she liked girls. Not that I like girls… Gah! I have to snap out of this. Maybe it's just that it's been a long time since I got laid.

You know what? Fuck it! Just fuck it! I'm not gonna think about this anymore. Me and Effy are friends, that's it. Nothing more. I do not have any sort of feeling towards her other then friendly ones. I don not think about her any more then I think about my other friends. I'm just curious about the whole wanting to kiss her. Yeah, that's it… Curious.

So what if I watched her sleep once and wondered what her eyes looked first thing in the morning? (I swear they change colour all the time, no wonder I want to know that.) So what if I want to talk to her, hear her speak, all the time? So what if I want to memorize her face so I'll remember it when I go to sleep at night? So what if she is all I can think about most days?

I'm just curious! All I have to do is learn all I can about her and this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach will go away. (God, I hope it goes away.) It's only Effy, it's not like I'm drooling over any other girls… I don't look at Naomi or Panda any differently. Maybe it's just because Effy is so damn mysterious all the time (and fit, God is she fit!).

I'm gonna go call Emily now, try asking how she knew she was gay. I have to go about it in a roundabout way though… Be sneaky about it. No need to tell her about Effy, or wanting to kiss Effy, or anything like that.

Shit, I sound really pathetic. Way to go me… All tongue tied and nervous around a girl. Just fan-fucking-tastic.

_**Emily - London**_

It's been over a month. One month with absolutely nothing. No whispering in my ears before I fall asleep. No ghostly touches when I don't expect it. No sightings of blonde hair and blue eyes. The only time I've seen her, the only time I have felt her, is when I sleep. She's still there in my dreams, but seems to have been erased everywhere else. I know it was only in my head, but it feels so goddamn lonely.

Right now, it feels like I'm ready to explode, I just want to see her. (What I really want is to find her, tell her how I feel about her and then suffer the consequences. I'm sure she'd run a mile from the crazy "You touch me in my head" girl. I mean, who wouldn't, it's all just way to crazy to comprehend.)

I never really knew how much I got used to it, how much I looked forward to it. It feels like I'm going through withdrawals. I'm jumpy and irritable all the time. I mean I even snapped at Steve for being like 5 seconds late for one of our "dates" the other day. And I snapped at my mum when she questioned me about being all twitchy. (I think random drug tests are gonna happen any day now. It wouldn't bloody surprise me if she suddenly stood there one morning, piss cup in hand and demanded to watch me pee in it.)

It's getting harder to hide the fact that Steve and I are only friends from her. Specially since the last time we went out, Steve met Elliot. See, no matter who he hooked up with (he's been a bit of a man-whore, but I guess that's how it goes when you finally realize you're gay. You try to make up for lost time.) he's always walked me home at night. This time though, he wasn't there to walk me to the door, wasn't there to kiss my cheek in front of her. He called me the next day though, telling me all about how incredible Elliot is. He sounded so elated and in love, I'm happy for him.

Of course, this is gonna complicate our little arrangement. I'm not sure what he's told Elliot about me and my… situation… with my mother, but the chances of him actually getting why his new boyfriend (or whatever they are at this point) is spending most of his free time with a girl… I'd say they're pretty slim. We've arranged for a get together later, so we can iron out all the kinks. Hopefully we can make it work somehow. I just have an appointment with my therapist first…

I should probably stop procrastinating and go get ready.

-..-…-..-.-

Oh my freaking God! The last 24 hours have been absolutely amazing!

It started right after I got out of my therapists office. I could swear that I saw her, running towards me. She was running so fast the people around her was a blur. Her blonde hair streaming out behind her, eyes sparkling and she had the most beautiful smile on her face. I was halfway convinced she'd crash into me, I wanted to let her. Of course, she disappeared about two steps from me, but she was there again. She was here!

The entire walk home I could feel her eyes on me, feel her walking next to me, behind me, surrounding me. I couldn't really figure out which. Either way it was just amazing. She was finally back, finally here with me again. I really didn't know how much I missed her until then.

The rest of the day she was right there, I could feel her draw away sometimes, but she always came back. Throughout my conversation with Steve and Elliot, I could swear I heard her whisper my name in my ear, feel her breath tickle my neck. I'm not sure what the hell we decided to do, to be honest. I probably need to have that conversation again later, some time I'm not so bloody distracted.

When I went to bed, she was with me. I could feel her behind me, feel her warmth. Of course every time I turned around to look at her, she wasn't there. But every time I closed my eyes she was back. A constant presence near me. It made me want to smile and cry at the same time. Because as much as I love that she's back, this is torture.

I want to see her for real, I want to touch her, I want to hear her speak to me, I want to fall asleep next to her, I want to wake up tangled up in her, I want to see her smile, hear her laugh.

I just want her. The real her. I wish that was an option.

(Oh, and Katie has been weird lately… Talking about how I knew I was gay and generally just being… Weird… I mean weirder then normal. She sounds almost scared somehow. I wonder what that is all about. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she has a crush on a girl and didn't know how to handle it. But that's just ridiculous, right?)

Right, I should call Steve. Probably before I completely forget about it. (Which would mean now, cause who knows what happens next in this whole seeing/feeling thing that's happening to me.)

_**Katie - Bristol**_

There are times I can't look at her without wanting to touch her in some way. It's getting more and more insane. Actually, no, I'm getting more and more insane. I think she's flirting back, but I'm not sure at all. It's all just so confusing. I know I've called her fit and mysterious and shit, but it's getting harder to push that part of me that tells me we're more then friends down.

I think I'd do just about anything for her and it's scaring the crap out of me. It made me realize that all the times I thought I was in love before… Well, I was wrong. Because, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise, I've never felt this before. And all I can do right now, is feel it.

I can't find the words to tell her. I'm not sure I want to find the words to tell her. See, we've become friends. She tells me things I'm not sure even Naomi knows. And it's all kinds of stuff, like how she feels about her mum, about her brother, about life in general. The only thing she refuses to tell me is what the hell is going on with Naomi.

But it's ok. Because she's Effy Stonem, she was born mysterious. (If we ever got married… Would she change her name? Or would I? Elizabeth Fitch, Effy Fitch, Effy Stonem Fitch, Effy Fitch Stonem… Katie Fitch Stonem? Maybe a hyphen somewhere…)

Naomi was all grins and excitement last week, like all her troubles somehow disappeared. It's weird how much she changed, no longer jumpy and twitchy all the time. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's in love with someone and she just met them again or something. Which is totally bullshit, because she's been with one of us practically the entire time. I suppose she might have had time that last weekend, but we all got together last Sunday and she didn't mention anything. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

This weekend was different though, we went out to this club that Thomas works in. Having a right laugh the lot of us. God, Effy can really dance, the way she moves on a dance floor… It made me want to just… Anyways, Cook and Naomi had some sort of bet and I think it all went a bit pear shaped. Naomi disappeared and Cook had no idea what the hell had happened to her. Effy told us all to leave it, otherwise I think we would have mounted a search party for her.

Yesterday she was all gloomy and weird, not really answering what happened to her. She just claimed she got a headache and went home. I suppose that could be true, but she looked guilty and nauseous when Cook had playfully suggested she'd followed some girl home. She shot me a look I couldn't quite decipher, but I think it was a "help me get out of this" look. I took the opportunity to start rambling about all the guys surrounding Effy. Mostly to see what kind of reaction I could get from Effy, but also to turn the spotlight off Naomi.

Effy swears she didn't see anyone new that she liked. She even emphasized the new part. I wonder if that was directed at me or at Cook. (I could strangle Cook every time he goes near her. To think about his hand on Effy, my Effy! Makes me want to barf. He should keep his disease ridden cock far far away from her. I might actually kill him if he ever really touches her again!) It doesn't matter who it was directed at to be honest. It got his attention away from Naomi, and that's all that counts. Naomi is my friend, it's the least I can do.

The only thing that slightly worries me about Naomi (apart from her manic depressive behaviour. ) is that her and Effy seems to be getting awfully close these days. I should probably keep an eye on them, not that I think anything is going on there… But just to make sure.

Emily has been a lot more cheerful on the phone lately too. Like something that has been missing in her lately, has come back to her. It's nice. I'm a bit worried about this Steve guy getting a boyfriend though, I think that might blow up in her face if she's not careful. As daft as mum can be, she can be strangely intuitive. So I hope for her sake that she never invites BOTH of them to the house at the same time. (She tells me this Elliot guy is really cool and that they're all friends at this point. I'm happy she has people who looks out for her.)

I'm considering telling her about Effy, she keeps hinting that she knows there's something going on with me and some girl. But just like with Effy, I'm scared.

Scared that if I actually say the words out loud, it'll become something real. Right now I can pretend it's only in my head. I can push it away. If I say it tough, it becomes something I have to deal with and I just can't do it right now.

Besides, Emily is the brave one, not me. (I used to say the same about her being gay, but I'm not sure it's true any more. I'm sure I'm at least bisexual… Or maybe I'm just Effy-sexual?)

_**Emily - London**_

Shit has hit the fan! My mother have been screaming at me for the last few hours and I wouldn't be surprised if one of the neighbours called the cops on her. I have never seen her that mad before, ever! And this is the woman who once caught James stealing one of her knickers so he could give it to that Gordon McPherson boy. (I don't even know what the hell that is all about… Actually, I don't think I want to know.)

Anyways, I asked Steve and Elliot to come over because my mum had some sort of date or party or… something… (I wasn't paying attention to her to be honest. I was too busy listening to Naomi whispering in my ear. I still can't make out anything more then Emily when it happens, but the way she says it. It gives me shivers every time.) The point is that she was going to be out late. Emphasis on the "was" part.

We were just hanging out in the kitchen, making food. We had the stereo on, which is probably why none of us heard her come back. I don't think Elliot and Steve really did anything, or acted any different then they normally do, maybe they did… I just don't know, but even if she never saw them actually kiss or touch each other inappropriately, she could still hear what they said.

What they said wasn't any thing out of the ordinary either, just the usual jabs at me for liking women when men were clearly better. We didn't even see her before she turned of the music and suddenly started shrieking about depraved kids in her house. I've never been so mortified in all my life.

Actually, scratch that last part… I've never been so furious in all my life! How dare she yell at MY friends for being depraved? She accused me of lying to her, of making a fool out of her. I accused of being a heartless bitch and things really went off the rails from there.

Steve and Elliot tried standing up for me, tried defending me against her, but how do you talk sense in to a crazy, furious homophobe who tells you that your sick and will all go to hell? (Personally I think she has completely lost the plot… And when the hell did she become religious? Must have been around the time she sent me to see the pervy priest.) So they left, but only after my mother threatened to call the police on them. It was all just so bloody insane!

She did the whole: "As long as you're under my roof!" speech too, but I took care of that argument and told her I'd be moving back to Bristol as soon as the school year was over. And that if she didn't want me in her house, I'd gladly move out and live with Steve or Elliot. As soon as she saw that the whole "I'm gonna kick you out." thing didn't work she changed her tactics. It was all hurt and heartbreak over having me lie to her, she accused Steve for putting me up to it. I think I actually snorted out loud when she made that accusation.

"Before you accuse everyone else for something I did, you should look at yourself. I told you I was gay, I explained it wasn't a phase and that it wasn't going to change anytime soon, but you never listened to me. Instead you send me to a priest who was more busy staring down my top, then he was with preaching, let alone trying to 'de-gay' me. And when that doesn't work, you send me to a shrink? Why do you think I lied mum? Because I liked it? Or because it was necessary? Get off your high horse and look at me! I'm still your daughter, I'm still Emily. I just like tits and fanny!" I told her after that.

She didn't take it well… (Understatement of the year.)

I called Katie before I started writing this, she's coming as soon as she can. Says she has someone who can drive her. I don't know where mum went, but she's not in the apartment any more.

I hope Katie gets here soon, I hope she can talk mum down. She was always better when it came to dealing with her.

_**Katie - London**_

I can't believe I'm in London! Emily called me yesterday and all my plans went out the window. Not that I mind, but it was just a surprise. I can't believe my mother, she's such a bitch! Who cares if Emily is gay? She shouldn't even care if she came home and announced that she liked dressing like a dog and dry hump strangers on the bus. She's our goddamn mother! She's supposed to support us no matter what. We're still us, we haven't changed, it really shouldn't matter who we love (or like… Or like kissing… Oh god, that kiss…)

I can't believe that Effy dropped everything and drove me to London. I mean, you don't just do that, do you? Without asking why, without even seeming curious? I mean she told me everything would be alright, told me she would help me fix it and I believed her. She is just amazing. AMAZING!

It happened on the drive here, we were at this shitty little café and some guy had just made an ass of himself at our table. She looks at me in a way that takes my breath away, smiling stupidly at the way I tell him that the only woman he'll ever touch is probably a blow up doll and that he should just fuck on back to the stone ages. I smiled back at her after I got my breath back.

When she opens the door for me, obviously making sure that I'm safe, I can't help but to throw my arms around her and hug her. She just smelled so good and looked so fantastic that I couldn't stop myself. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment, but instead of brushing it off she leans down and kisses me. She looks just as scared as I felt just a moment ago, I could see the swirling emotions in her eyes. They fascinated me, I've never seen anything like it. She closed her eyes, probably freaking out and I just couldn't stand it any more. So I kissed her too.

It was… I've never… I… Just thinking about it makes me grin like an idiot. She likes me back! She does! I could have screamed with joy, I could have ripped her clothes off in that stupid parking lot, I could have howled with regret when I remembered we were in said parking lot. I drew back, missing her touch as soon as I did. I kept my hand on hers until we reached London.

When we got here, I couldn't believe how frail and small Emily looked. The strength she usually have seemed to have been drained out of her. I hugged her, hoping I could help her get some of it back. Frankly, it's scary how lost she looked. It felt weird being the stronger twin for once.

Effy left after barely being there an hour, I tried getting her to stay. Tried telling her we should talk about this (whatever it is) thing between us. She promised we would as soon as I got back home. For the first time when someone says we will talk about it, I think they actually meant it. That's the difference between the jerk-offs I've dated before and her, Effy means it. She always means it. I know it should probably scare me, should send me running, but it feels nice.

I yelled at my mother for an hour straight. I don't know who it was that said it first, but as soon as Emily has taken her exams I will make sure she's on her way back to Bristol. Dad should have never let mum take her with her in the first place. I so don't know what either of them was thinking.

We're at a friend of hers place at the moment. She's gonna stay here for a few nights, give mum a chance to cool off. I'm staying too, just so I can make sure that she's ok. That mum won't do anything stupid. I'm pretty sure I managed to make mum see that if she kept doing this to Emily she would lose all of us. Me and Emily, but also any tie she has left with dad and James.

This Steve guy seems like a great guy in real life too, I've only heard about him and Elliot from Emily, but he's everything she made him out to be. I haven't met Elliot yet, but the way he talks about him… Well, it's clear that he loves him. He loves my sister too, but in a big-brother sense of the word. Which means that I'm adopted in to the family (or so he keeps saying with a grin.)

I hope I can return the favour if he ever comes back to Bristol. I hope Emily fits in with our little gang of misfits (Effy's word, she's rubbing off on me…) too.

(P.S Effy just texted me, just to say good night… I think I'm grinning like an idiot, but I don't care.)

_**Emily - London**_

I haven't slept much the last week. I keep waking up, feeling sick to my stomach. I swear the echoes of her desperately calling my name are still hanging around me. The sound of it makes my blood freeze in my veins. The desperation in it… I can't explain it. It just kills me every time I hear it.

Parts of me feel angry with her though, I just can't make sense of it. I can hear her begging me for forgiveness, telling me she's sorry. Telling me it was a mistake. It's tearing me apart, but at least I can hear more then my name now.

It all started with a nightmare, but at the time I was convinced it was real:

I'm on a rooftop and it's raining. The door opens and she walks out. Her eyes are wild, red rimmed sure, but wild. She freezes, staring at a spot in front of her, at the edge. I try and see what it is she sees, but there is nothing there. She shivers and I step towards her, the rain doesn't seem to touch me. She doesn't notice me there, doesn't feel my hand on her arm. I should have known it was a dream just because of that, she would never ignore me like that. (At least I hope she wouldn't)

She steps further towards the edge, her whole body shakes as she is transfixed on the same spot as before. Her eyes are wide, as if she's seeing something that's too horrifying to even contemplate. It makes my heart break, she looks so small and lost. So scared. Something happens inside her somewhere and as she blinks a couple of times, I can see the numbness spread through her. Like a disease.

She finally gets to edge, stares over it for a few seconds before turning and sinking down against the wall. The rain is stopping now, I sit down next to her, just watching her. Tears are flowing freely down her face, she doesn't seem to notice them. Hours pass before she moves again, the rain is starting up again, softer then before. It takes me by surprise when she stands up.

She just stands there for a moment, I can see the rage flooding into her, see it eating away the numbness. Eating away her self control. "Let it out." I murmur in her ear, she stays silent for another minute or so. "Just let it go." I murmur again, putting a hand on her leg. She finally seems to hear me and screams her lungs out. It sounds like pure pain, pure rage. It should scare the crap out of me, but in my eyes she has never looked more beautiful. She's just so goddamn strong, a force of nature. A tempest of pure ice is raging in her eyes.

I almost miss the quiet question that follows, the simple "Why?" from her lips. It's barely a whisper, she looks around expectantly, almost like she's waiting for the answer. She gets to her feet and turns to the ledge. The "Why?" is louder now, more forceful. I watch her, hoping she'll find her answer. She gets on to the ledge, staring down at the street below her. I get up next to her, steadying myself on her arm. She's still not looking at me, but screams her final "WHY?" into the wind.

She sits down on the ledge, her feet dangling over the edge. All I want to do is take her in my arms and tell her that it's all going to be ok. I kiss her cheek and hear her words whispering around me like they do when I'm awake. Like they have done every day since I moved to London.

"Can we just sit like this? For a bit?" The voice is cracking and I didn't see her lips move, but I know it's real. I know she's waiting for the answer, her eyes are closed and her breathing is returning to normal. It's like the words hold meaning for her, like she's said them before.

My own words are out of my mouth before I know what they're going to be, like I've said these words before too. "Yeah. We can… For a bit…" The rooftop dissolves around me as I jerk awake. I'm shaking, covered in sweat.

That was the start of it. Every night after that I dream about her. She standing in front of me, but I can't reach her. No matter how much I fight, how much I run or how much I scream her name, I just can't reach her. It's slowly draining all my energy, I don't know how much more I can take of it.

Everyone has noticed it, Steve is concerned. Elliot has tried to cheer me up and even my mum has asked me if I was ill. Katie called me and yelled down the phone at me for thirty minutes straight, I barely even flinched. I eat the food in front of me, but I can't taste it. I hear the conversations and half heartedly try to respond to them. The only thing I can ever really hear, ever really feel, is her voice, her ghostly touches.

I have to make this stop, I have to tell someone about what's going on. Someone who won't judge me. The only logical person is my therapist. I know he won't judge, he's a kind man. The only problem is that he's in Bristol at the moment. The irony of it all isn't lost on me. Apparently he's gonna open a clinic there and his secretary told me that he's already assisted the police there. She's always had a soft spot for me because her daughter's gay too, she'll get me in to see him just as soon as he comes back. I just know she will.

Maybe I should call Katie again, she came the last time. She talked me down, talked my mother down. She made me feel better. I just don't see her being very understanding when it comes to this. She's probably just call me crazy and tell my mother all about it. I can't bear it if she did, can't have her looking at me like that…

No, all I need is to see Dr. Snipes. He will fix it, he has to fix it. I just need to latch on to that idea and it will all be alright. (Please, just let it be alright.)

* * *

**Did I mention this was part one? No? Oh well... *Grins***

**I've enjoyed all your speculation of what Emily really sees/feels and so on, but I just thought it was time to clear it all up. It's not really flickers, but then again... It's not really not flickers either. I did try to established that there was a difference. **

**And yes, Dr. Snipes is Emily's therapist... Small world... *grins***

**Let me know if you want the rest of it. Can't promise it will be this long, but I still have a lot of ground to cover. (sadly, I think the story itself only has a couple more chapters in it... And an Epilogue of course, but I've been wrong before... So who knows.)**


	25. to a story

**A/N: (Is just going to ignore the fact that it's been 13 days since I last updated... or something like that...)**

**For Bee for her reviews, they make me happy. Tusen takk.**

**For FitchSwitch, because Tell Me A Story and Never As It Seems are some of the best new stories I've read on here.**

**And for Es... I'd put in a disclaimer, but I have a feeling you'll read this sometime tonight. :P**

**And with that out of the way... Part 2 of the diaries :D Have fun :D**

**Chapter 24: …to a story**

_**Katie - Bristol**_

I have no idea what the hell she is doing to me. We were going to talk, not nearly have sex on the kitchen counter with Naomi in the house. We were going to define what we were to each other, talk about what the kissing on the way to London meant. She was not meant to look at me the way she was looking at me, she wasn't meant to steal every coherent thought I had just with that look. She wasn't, but she did.

I've never had anyone look at me like she does. Like I'm her own personal saviour or something. I don't know who started it, it might have been me, but all I knew in that moment was that I didn't want to stop. I don't know what she sees when she looks at me, all I know it that I've never felt so… Wanted.

So when she lifted me on to that kitchen counter, kissing me, I was kissing back. I was holding on to her like she was gonna disappear if I didn't hold on tight enough. I wanted to ask her what it meant, what we meant to each other. I wanted to ask her if this meant that we were a couple, if it meant we had to tell people about us. There was only one slight problem, I couldn't remember a single question I had. I'm pretty sure if you'd asked what my name was at that moment, I wouldn't quite know what to answer. I knew her name though, I was moaning it rather frequently, sighing it in to her mouth, breathing it over the skin on her neck, tracing it on her lower back.

I never thought I'd say it, but I've never been more happy to have someone interrupt me in my life. It was definitely completely embarrassing when it happened (I had my hands all over Effy, clutching her closer with my legs, kissing her until I saw stars… At least I hadn't started undressing her, although that was next on my agenda.), but me and Effy really need to talk. And I mean talk, not jump each other like we're two cats in heat.

I think it's the eyes. They look right through you, see what you're trying to hide. What you don't even know you're hiding. And when they look at you like you're the only person they ever want to look at… How can you not jump her? Yeah… It's got to be the eyes.

And to be honest, the thought of having sex with a girl… It freaks me out. I mean, how do you do it? Do you have to go down on them? Maybe you just do what you do to yourself, only on her instead? I wonder if there's some kind of class, or book, or something to help you learn these things. (God, if someone caught me with a book on lesbian sex…) Maybe I should just raid James room, he's bound to have some sort of… reference material… I should look into it. I mean I can't ask Emily, that would be mortifying. I haven't even told her I like Effy.

So Naomi interrupting us? A very, very good thing. (Although, her not interrupting might have been a good thing too… God, I'm confused.)

Anyways, on to something new, I can obsess over Effy later. Emily is here! She came down with my mum the day we finished our exams. I wish she'd come a bit earlier, she could have helped me with history. I'm rubbish at it! Think it went sort of ok, though, Naomi helped me study the other day and actually made more sense then our teacher ever did.

We had a "nice" family dinner, complete with some kind of green goo my mum insisted was food. Dad wasn't all that happy that she just included herself into the family, but the dinner went surprisingly well. They were both struggling to at least be civil to each other. James wasn't all that happy either, until mum announced that Emily was moving back. I've never seen the little perv that happy, except maybe when I gave him one of my old skirts and told him he could keep it. Dad was over the moon and even Emily cracked a smile.

Something is bothering her though, she seems a bit off. It's not as bad as the days I spent with her in London, but in some ways it's worse. She's lost that sparkle in her eyes, the one that made her who she is. I'm hoping the night out I have planned will help. I hope everyone likes her, makes her feel welcome.

Her therapist has opened an office down here and she's decided to keep seeing him. I asked her why she would bother, it's not like she needs to anymore, mum made her go. She told me that she felt like she needed to talk to him. And then she frowned and mumbled something about him knowing something and getting to the bottom of it. I don't understand what she meant by it, but if it's what she wants, I won't say a word.

She seemed excited when I told her we were meeting everyone, though. I think I talked a little too much about Naomi and Effy. Effy because of what I wrote about earlier and Naomi because of what she did for us. She didn't flinch or treat us any different and she promised not to tell anyone until we're ready to. She's a good friend. I can see why Emily was attracted to her once upon a time (I mean, she's got nothing on Effy, but she is pretty amazing herself.).

I wonder if Emily still likes her… When we were younger, she couldn't shut up about her for a week, after we first saw her. I know I screwed up by not telling her that Naomi couldn't keep her eyes off her (when she wasn't looking), but back then I was a right little bitch.

If the same thing happens now (that they like each other) I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. To help them see that the other likes them. Hopefully, that will make up for me being so… bitchy… back then.

_**Emily - Bristol**_

This week has been crazy, I don't even know where to start. First off I'm in Bristol and even though it's a shitty place, I've missed it. I've missed James spying on me through the keyhole while I shower, I've missed kicking the shit out of him for it, I've missed Katie and her constant bitching (well, the bitching part has gotten better and she's calmer now, more herself.), I've missed my dad's smile, I've even missed that there's nothing to do here.

Before I left London, I met up with Dr. Snipes. The way I keep hearing Naomi, seeing her out of the corner of my eye, feeling her around me, it was driving me absolutely crazy. I honestly thought he would be able to calm me down, make some of it stop. See, I don't want all of it to stop, just the parts where it leaves me completely confused and heartbroken. Lately, she's been telling things like "She means nothing to me.", "I was scared.", "I love you and no one else, please believe me" And that's when she's not saying my name in such a heartbroken way, that I can't help the stab of pain I feel when I hear it.

There are times though, times when I can feel her lips on mine, hear her sigh in my ear, feel her wrap her arms around me. And I don't want that to stop. Yes, it's only ghostly touches, so gentle it's barely there, but they make me feel like I'm on top of the world.

I thought maybe talking with Dr. Snipes would give me some perspective, but all it gave me was more questions. He made me go over the whole thing from the beginning, smiling to himself through out the entire story. When I was done, that smile just grew and then he told me it was all going to be fine. When I told him I was going back to Bristol, he actually chuckled.

"Going back for her, are you?" He asked me, confusing me even more. He gave me his card when I left, telling me that it had his new number on it, that I should look him up when I figured it all out. Before I left I heard him say to himself. "Imagine that, they really are connected." I'm not sure what he meant, I'm not even sure if he really was talking to himself, but it sounded important. It sounded almost prophetic.

I couldn't help being excited when we got to Bristol. It was the same drab buildings, the same lifeless weather, but she was here. Naomi still lived here and the city suddenly felt so much brighter, so much more alive. Even God knows how many hours stuck in a car with my mum, couldn't put a damper on my elation. I wanted to run through the streets looking for her when we got there, I wanted to scream her name from the rooftops, but I couldn't. She's not mine to look for and I'm sure she wouldn't have a clue who I was if I did find her.

The thought of that brought my mood back down. I know Katie knows her, I know she considers her a friend. So sooner rather then later I would have to face her, I would have to meet her and behave like a normal human being around her and not a lovesick puppy who wants nothing more then to just run to her and put my arms around her. God, I want to just be able to look at her, touch her, make sure she's real.

When Katie informed me (she never really asks for anything.) we were going to a club to celebrate the school year being finished and that she had invited all her friends so that they could meet me, I didn't quite know how to react. I was angry that she hadn't asked me before just deciding on what we were doing and I was all excited again because Naomi would be there. I think I got a bit too excited about that and that Katie noticed, I saw her smirk to herself when she thought I wasn't looking. Can't be helped now, though.

The club she took me to was packed. I don't think I've ever seen that many people getting squeezed into a place that small before. We couldn't find anyone, not the people Katie wanted us to find at least, for a long time. Finally, after spending 20 minutes getting from one end to another of that damn club, we found a really tall guy called Freddie. He seems like an ok guy, a bit too laid back maybe, but ok. I remember Katie leaving us to go look for some of the other guys, telling us to stay where we were so that she could find us again.

A very loud guy called Cook came bouncing towards us after a while, giving Freddie a hug and pushing some pills into his hand. He made some sort of lewd comment that I shut down, but instead of getting mad he just howled with laughter and pressed a drink in my hand before telling me. "You're clever too, Blondie's gonna love you!" He disappeared into the throng like a ghost before I could ask him who this Blondie person was.

Freddie just shook his head and gave me one of the pills. I remember looking at him a bit doubtfully, but he just smiled at me and took his own. I think the unsettling feeling that something was coming, the feeling of something tugging at me, combined with hearing Naomi tell me that she always misses me, made me swallow my own pill. Things got a bit hazy after that.

I remember dancing. Not your ordinary, innocent dancing, but full on "lost in the beat" sort of dancing. I remember my heart thumping loudly, dragging me towards the middle of the floor. I remember feeling her eyes on me, burning through me. I could feel her around me as I danced, surrounding me when I closed my eyes. It felt fucking fantastic.

When my eyes opened again I could see these pale blue streaks of colour swirling around me. They reminded me so much of her that my eyes trailed them, watching as they danced their way to the ceiling, all the time twisting around something I couldn't see. I had a feeling that there was something I was missing, some part of a puzzle I wasn't seeing. I stood there looking at the lights for quite some time. (or it could have only been seconds, I sort of lost track of time. There must have been something weird with those pills.) I could hear her breathe next to me, hear her heartbeats, the whispered calling of my name. It was intoxicating all on it's own and I wasn't sure if I was high on the pills or her.

The rest of the night is sort of a blur. I remember that tugging feeling coming back as I was dancing, pulling me towards something unseen. It almost feels like gravity, only more insistent. Katie came back and told us that we should probably just leave, that the others have all left. I remember frowning and looking for Freddie, but he was gone. I can't remember if he told me he was going or not, didn't really care at the moment. Suddenly the lone blue light is connected with a red one, only they weren't touching at all. I remember staring at them slack jawed while Katie was yelling at me, trying to get my attention.

The tugging feeling eventually drags me outside, Katie in tow, and suddenly it all became clear. My head no longer felt clouded, I could feel every fibre of me humming in anticipation as I turned around. For a split second I saw her, I saw Naomi. It's the weirdest thing I've ever felt. Even if her eyes only barely connects with mine, even if it's from the other side of the road, I can see them widening in recognition. I can hear her voice talking to me.

"Will you stay with me?" It pleads, sounding like it's about to break. It makes me want to run after her, follow that stupid cab to the end of the world. She knows me, she knows who I am! I could have cried if I wasn't so busy smiling. I don't know how I got home, my moment of clarity was short lived, but it doesn't matter. I wonder if she'll come find me, just walk up to the house and ring the bell.

On second thought, she did look a bit drunk and out of it… Maybe she won't remember. Why would she, she's never really met me. She probably don't even know who I am, just a vague girl she talked to once at a party. It was nice to have that moment though, nice to imagine that she might know me and that I might have made an impression.

At least I'll get to meet her properly in a few days. Katie's first words when we got home was something about a dinner party to introduce me properly. Apparently Cook and Freddie doesn't count as meeting the gang…

_**Katie - Bristol**_

Dinner party… What idiot came up with that idea? Oh right, that would be me. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to not be able to touch someone you really want to touch? To not be able to greet them with a kiss, or do more then briefly put your hands on them for just a second?

Effy came over before the thing started. We've already talked about our… situation. She's been really understanding about it all, even when I told her I didn't want to tell anyone what we are just yet. It's not that I don't want to shout it to the world, but I'm scared. I know it's not exactly fair on her that I insist on keeping it to ourselves, but I just… I want to make sure that what we have is real, that it's not just some extremely cruel joke on her part. I don't expect that it is, but as I said, I want to make sure.

The hard part about it is when she comes over to "help" like she did today. I had to contain my excitement and just settle for a hug. All I really wanted to do was kiss her until we both couldn't breathe and drag her up to my room, but we've both agreed on "going slow", to not rush into anything. See, we figured that both of us have had our share of meaningless sex and we just don't want the other to be a meaningless number in a long line.

Every time I see her though, I keep questioning my sanity when I said yes to it. I want her so much it's ridiculous. I want all of her, I need all of her, but I will take it slow if that's what she wants. I'll wait until we're both sure. (Just don't expect me to be happy about it.)

So there we were… Me, Effy and Emily, making dinner. It was worse then torture, just completely horrible. I sent Emily out for some supplies that we couldn't possibly have a dinner party without. Just a few things I conveniently "forgot." I don't think she cleared the corner before I was on Effy like a shot. I think I even took her by surprise. I just can't seem to get enough of her.

Emily was weird when she got back, I almost thought she might have seen us kissing (hands all over each other, under clothes and clinging to each other like the other was about to disappear.) I don't think it was something we could've explained away as a hug. Emily never said anything though and just went to our room when we were done with all the preparations, so I'm sure she has no idea that anything is going on with me and Effy.

Naomi showed up with Cook in tow. I didn't invite the fucker because I really can't stand that he's touched Effy first. It's not logical or rational, but I hate his guts… Well, until he and Naomi were standing there looking like two kids who were very proud of themselves. One with a bunch of flowers, the other with a fucking gateau. You really can't stay that mad at a person after that. But if he touches Effy again, all bets are off.

Speaking of (writing of? Hmm… Diaries are hard some times.) Effy, I almost blew it today. See, I've been worried that her and Naomi are getting too close. I mean, they live together, they're obviously good friends and I'm not sure what the hell is wrong with me. I've always been a bit too quick to get jealous, but this is ridiculous.

I watched Effy grab her hand, watched her following Naomi up to the bathroom and when I followed them up there a few minutes later, I found them laughing hysterically, holding onto each other. I never really knew I could get that unreasonably jealous. It's just insane. It felt like someone had set me on fire (and not the good kind of fire), I seriously had trouble containing myself.

I tried pushing that feeling away all through dinner, tried to find some reassurance in the way Effy kept squeezing my thigh and running her fingers lightly over it every few minutes. I hate that I felt that way, all insecure and needy. I don't want to be THAT person… You know?

So I confronted Naomi after the dinner was finished. The look on her face when I asked her what was going on between her and Effy was really more then enough to set me straight (ehh…) She looks sad though, Naomi I mean. Something is definitely wrong. She still managed to divert attention away from Effy and me when they were leaving though. I can't really believe I thought she would do something like what I thought for a second she'd done. Naomi is a really good friend, she wouldn't do that.

I hope Emily liked everyone and I hope everyone liked Emily. She's being a bit weird at the moment, snapping at me for nothing and not really telling me what's wrong. Maybe it was a bit much to introduce her to everyone all at once? Maybe I should have just done it gradually, like one or two at the time.

Oh well, too late now.

_**Emily - Bristol**_

I think this has been the best and the worst day of my life. There is no other way to describe it. For a moment, I had her. I knew she remembered me, there was something there, but she sort of closed down before we even got started.

I didn't even see her at first, her friend Effy was sort of shielding her, but all of a sudden she was just there. After spending over a year wanting to see her properly, it was a shock. She was so God damn gorgeous that I couldn't form a single sentence. I just sort of stood there like an idiot and nodded as she went on about lint and how we'd met once before.

I remember following her with my eyes as she went up the stairs to the bathroom, she stayed up there for a long time. Effy followed her first and then Katie eventually went after them. I should have figured it out then, usually Katie would just scream that dinner was ready and not bother to wait for them before she started.

The dinner itself was… Excruciating. To sit that close to her and not touch her, not talk to her. It was clear that she was squirming as well, moving away from me. I tried to get closer to her, casually of course, but she kept shifting away from me. I finally just asked her to pass me the peas. I mean, who does that? You sit next to the person you're madly in love with and all you can say is: "Pass the peas, please?" My head was screaming something else though. I'm not sure if I had actually said what was really on my mind, things would have been much better. Although "Fuck me now, please." does sound a bit better then "Pass the peas, please."

All in all, the entire dinner was just… Awkward. It didn't get much better after that.

I couldn't keep my eyes off Naomi when she slipped out the door and into the backyard. I stood there staring at the door for a while, contemplating what to do next. Katie must have gone after her when I was busy cleaning my plate in the sink, because I never saw her go out there. I heard them though, after I'd worked up the courage to go after Naomi.

I heard the flirtatious remark from Katie about having to kill someone if something was going on, and I heard the response from Naomi. It felt like my heart was shattering and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Naomi was never nervous because she was seeing me again, she was nervous because she had a thing for Katie and wanted her twin to like her. Not because she'd thought about me the way I thought about her.

The tightness of my chest only intensified as I could feel her around me again. She was still outside, I knew that, but suddenly she was everywhere. I could feel her heat radiating, hear her laughter and whispered words. The words were so soft though, I couldn't make them out again, but they were mine. And I doubt Katie has ever heard her like that, felt her like the way I feel her. That thought is the only one that made me act normal throughout the rest of the evening.

The one thing I learned from all of this was how to close down the parts of me I didn't want Naomi to see. I didn't want her to see my jealousy, my insecurity, the way my heart sped up when she was around. I just can't switch the feelings off, I can block them from my face and keep them from breaking through, but I can't stop feeling them.

I held it in, all of it, until she left. I ignored the sickening feeling I got in my stomach as Katie went out of her way to show her to the door. The way they pretended that they weren't really doing anything out of the ordinary. I saw the flush on Katie's cheeks, saw the way her gaze lingered when Effy and Naomi walked down the road together. I know what it means, I've seen that look on her face before… The problem is, I've never seen her that intense before. She must really, REALLY, like Naomi.

It makes me so fucking angry! Why couldn't she have found someone else to like? Why does she always go after something I wanted first? GAH! It makes me so fucking frustrated! She ALWAYS does that!

Fuck her! And fuck Naomi too! I'll avoid her! Hell, I'll avoid them both.

I just heard her whisper to me: "You are so breathtakingly beautiful and I'm so hopelessly in love with you. You really have no idea what you're doing to me" The words made me sigh, cause it's like a reflection of what I feel for her. I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop myself from seeking her out again.

This is killing me.

_**Katie - Bristol**_

Naomi has been acting like a mental case these last few nights. She thinks she's hidden behind that tree across the street, but I've seen her. She just stands there for hours looking up at our bedroom window. I texted Effy to let her know, but she said to just leave her there. Said something about her having some stuff to figure out. It's kinda creepy if you ask me, can't she figure it out somewhere else?

Anyways… The weather is being a bitch. It's so goddamn hot! Like all the time! If Effy wasn't so busy with Gina leaving (I'm gonna miss the old hippie.), I'd take her swimming. I mean, think about it… Effy in a bathing suit, Effy in need of sun screen on her back, Effy all wet and hot and… GAH! Right, why was I fighting this whole "I might be attracted to women." thing?

Emily seems affected by the weather too, she's been snipping at me all week. I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to have done and she won't tell me. I tried asking her about it, but she keeps shutting me down. I don't know what the hell her problem is. When she thinks I'm not looking, she glares at me like she did that time I took her favourite teddy bear when we were 5.

I tried talking to her about Naomi yesterday, that didn't go well… She nearly snapped my head off. Maybe she's just pissed off because I haven't told her about Effy. I'm sure I'm being obvious as hell, even if I never really just call her Effy… It's always Naomi's friend, Effy. Oh god, maybe she thinks Effy and Naomi is together. That could explain some of it, but why is she mad at me?

Right, I just have to make it clear to her that Effy and Naomi? Not seeing each other. I've already asked them both and they both looked at me like I was a fucking lunatic. They're close, I'll give them that, but more like sisters and best friends, not in the "Oh God, I want to rip your clothes off with my teeth" kind of a way. If they were, I would have to kill them both in the most gruesome way I could think of.

Effy just called, she's got the house to herself. I think I might just go over and spend some time with her. Emily has fucked off to God knows where and James is really starting to bug me. He's insisting on walking around the house in nothing but a bikini and high heels. I think he said something about having that Gordon kid over and I really can't stand the two of them. James is bad enough on his own, but with Gordon? Pain in the ass doesn't even begin to cover it.

I wonder if I should try and get Effy to come swimming… Better bring some sun screen to be sure. And maybe raid dad's liquor stash… No that probably won't be necessary, Effy probably has something to drink.

Hmm… What the hell do I wear? I mean, I want to look good for her, but not too good so that we'll end up doing more then kissing. I would like there to be more then kissing, but I haven't read through that article I found in that disgusting magazine I found in James' room. I'm not sure what I was looking for, but there it was… Glaring at me: "10 ways to please your woman"

Yeah, really should read that first… And now I'm late.

_**Emily - Bristol.**_

Avoiding Naomi isn't as easy as I thought. She has a way of popping up when you least expect it. (If the last day was anything to go on at least.) And when she's not popping up in person she's there regardless. Her eyes are on me, her hands ghost along my skin, whispered words in my ears. It's worse when she's actually around me though, it hurts more.

I couldn't sleep this morning (because of all this crap with Naomi) and thought I'd get out of the damn house before Katie woke up. She's been trying to get me to talk about what's bugging me and all I really want to answer is "You!" but I can't really do that. I just sort of wandered aimlessly for a while before I went to get a hot chocolate at this coffee place. Turns out hot chocolate in the middle of summer? Not very good. It did take my mind off things for a while though.

The next point on my "Avoid Katie and Naomi" list was to go get some groceries. So there I was, minding my own business, not really paying attention to anything and WHAM! Who do you think barrels into me, full force? Of course it was Naomi. I forgot how small Bristol can be sometimes.

I think I managed to stay disinterested for about 5 minutes before I sort of cracked. I don't know what it was. Maybe the flash of hurt when I pretended not to know her name, maybe the way her shirt clung to her. I honestly have no idea what it was, but pretty soon I was actually sort of talking to her. And I have to say, her voice in real life? So much better then the one in my head. (Is it really in my head though, it feels so goddamn real sometimes.)

There's a part of me that wanted to make her see that she's chosen the wrong twin. I think that's why I laughed with her and tried to help her with her mother's shopping list. (It did say kilt… I wonder what the hell Naomi's mum wants with a kilt.) It wasn't until she was so close I could feel her warmth radiating into me, surrounding me, that I managed to snap out of it. I can't help it, every time she's around me there's something inside me that is clawing it's way to the surface. I can feel my heart dragging me towards her.

I came to the conclusion right then and there that I shouldn't be around her anymore. That conclusion didn't help me very much.

See, after I went home, Katie started bugging me about how great Naomi and Effy were. I just wanted to yell at her to shut up. I already know that Naomi is a wonderful, amazing person. I already know she's passionate and opinionated, she has a heart that is so big and I know that from just looking at her. I used to watch her when we were in school together, used to listen to every word anyone ever said about her. I don't need Katie reminding me, I really don't. So I got out of there.

It really shouldn't have surprised me when I got to the lake and she was there, but when she hoisted herself out of the water like that… I swear to God I almost swallowed my tongue. (Although I wouldn't exactly say that it was surprise that made me do that…) Jesus Christ, she's gorgeous! I already knew she was beautiful, but… GAH, I can't really put into words what seeing her in a bikini did to me. I kept trying to push it away, to not perv at her, but I had more then enough trouble keeping myself from jumping her on the spot. (Not that I'm only interested in her body, but it certainly doesn't exactly repulse me. It would be easier if it did.)

I don't really know how I managed to drag my eyes away from her, all I know is that I was minding my own business and the cow, somehow, tripped and I ended up taking a nosedive into the lake. I was planning on taking a swim, but not with all my clothes on. She probably did it on purpose, even if she did apologize to me like 5 million times.

So there I was, completely wet (and not in a good way), looking at her trying desperately to keep her balance and to be perfectly honest (what's the point of a diary if you're not) I have never seen anyone that beautiful in my life. The sun was setting, lighting her up in all the right places. She was still damp from her swim, her hair curling softly. But the worst thing was, during all of it all I could hear in my head was: "NOT YOURS." It was infuriating. I hated Katie so much at that point, I didn't know where to look.

When she lost her balance again and somehow ended up on top of me, all I could do was laugh. The look on her face was priceless, but I think the real reason why I was laughing was because of the complete absurdity of the situation. Needless to say, the laughter died when it all clicked in my head. Naomi, half naked, on top of me.

A tiny part of me wanted to just roll her over and kiss her, but I couldn't. See, even if Katie would have done it to me in a heartbeat, I can't do that to her. I just can't. And the situation pissed me off so much that when Naomi went to change, I sort of let the air out of her tire and hid behind some trees.

I figured that if I just took off, she'd follow me. But if I let the air out, she'd be too far down the road before she figured out that I never really went anywhere. Stupid, I know, but it made sense at the time. Parts of me wanted to punish her for not letting me get over her. Part of me wants to just kill Katie and keep Naomi all to myself.

When I heard what she said though, my heart broke… But I just sort of froze and just stood there watching her walk away. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

I've got to get over her. I just have to!

_**Katie - Bristol**_

Things I've done in the last 24 hours that my mother would kill me for if she knew about:

1. Kissed a girl, quite a lot of kissing actually.

2. Had a bit too much to drink.

3. Taken drugs, not too many of them, but some

4. Done more then kissing a girl. (Turns out I didn't need to read that "how to please your woman" thing. Hehe.)

5. Made out with said girl in public because she was so hot when she hit that bitch (I'm sure she'd eventually get over the whole kissing a girl thing, but in public? Her head would explode.)

6. Lied to my sister.

7. Drugged my sister.

8. Kidnapped my sister

9. Put my sister in a room with a known lesbian in the hopes of said sister and said lesbian, work shit out and become girlfriends

10. Had my way with MY girlfriend again.

11. Almost told that girlfriend I loved her, but chickened out. (Actually, I'm sure mum would actually like that, but the fact that I wanted to do it… She might have still killed me just a little.)

_**Emily - Bristol**_

"Come out with me." She says. "It'll be fun!" Well, fuck you too Katie! Of all the cunting bars in all of cunting Bristol, we had to go to the one Naomi was in. I'm pretty sure she planned it, fucking cow. I should have just turned around when I felt my heart speed up at the entrance. I should have turned and run when the bouncer said something about expecting us and that our friends were waiting inside. I mean, for fucks sake! I just followed her like fucking puppy. I thought I was over that phase of my life! I could scream!

And then, you know what the fucking cow did? She ditched me to have a chat to that Effy person! Who does that? Who practically drags someone out and then just fucks off with someone the minute we get in the doors? It's bad enough that she's using me like some sort of an excuse when she's out stalking Naomi, but to see that Naomi didn't exactly seem to mind dancing with some random slut? I can't even…

I don't know why I got so angry and felt like I needed to pay her back. Make her jealous. I was doing so well with the whole ignoring her thing. I barely spoke to her at her housewarming (Or parent leaving) party. I answered in monosyllables, I didn't look at her (unless she wasn't looking that is) and I tried very hard not to care when my sister dragged her inside to "talk". Effy tried talking to me at that point, tried to distract me from it. (I swear Effy knows more then she lets on, she's probably in on all of this and is trying to push them together or something.)

So I danced with this… this… Giant not Naomi! Look, I'm sure the girl is nice (a bit clingy maybe) but fucking hell, she was tall. It probably looked like some sort of a freak show, the two of us together. And her hands were all over me, like a freaking octopus. Not cool. But do you think that worked? NO! Naomi got up and let that SLUT put her hands all over her. Even if she didn't like Katie like that (Which I'm starting to suspect, either that or she used to like her and is using this green eyed THING to get back at her. That's it, isn't it? Katie turned her down! My sister is so fucking stupid sometimes, why would she turn down Naomi. Maybe it's the clothes? Maybe Naomi is too smart for her? Or just too much.)

I knew she followed me outside before I saw her. It's the weirdest thing, I swear I could have closed my eyes in that club, spun around several times and picked her out of a crowd in an instant. So it wasn't that much of a surprise when she suddenly appeared next to me and lit a smoke. I was going to just walk away from her, but she wouldn't let me.

Thing just got kinda ugly after that. I got angry, she got… relieved? Which only made me more angry and she was just so close… And before I really knew what was happening, she kissed me. And that would have been fine if I hadn't kissed back. I could feel this surge around us, a passion I couldn't stand against. It was ridiculous. (Ridiculously hot!)

But I can't go there, I just can't. I'd be her second choice… Katie will have had her first… Gah! I don't know any more. I'm so fucking angry with her! And with Katie!

Anyways, I have to go, I can hear Katie coming up the stairs, she bringing me fucking tea… As if _that's_ gonna fix anything.

* * *

**I think we all know how much that tea helped. YAY!**

**We'll be back to our regularly scheduled Naomily next chapter, until then... Go read those fics I mentioned. I promise they are both exceptional. :D**


	26. Where do we go from here?

**A/N: What do you do when someone crashes on your couch for about a week? Well, since it's a friend and she was in need (Yeah, I went there.) you drop everything and help. And then you secretly want her to just get the fuck out of your apartment, because she's messing up both the writing of new chapters of this and your school work. So the last parts of this is rushed. It's probably not all that good. And I'm posting it anyways.**

**Disclaimer: This chapter might make you late for work Es. I'm sorry. (Also, I still don't own Naomily or Keffy, which is why there was no Naomi episode in season 4 and there was no Keffy at all.)**

**One fluffy chapter? Coming up. Any mistakes you find, were not intentional and I blame fever for most of them. **

**Chapter 25: Where do we go from here?**

Naomi hit the ground with a soft thump, hands still clasping on to Emily tightly. For the second time in minutes all the air was knocked out of her. Eyes still closed, she could feel Emily struggling to free herself from the vicelike grip holding her where she was.

"Oh God. Are you ok? Naomi?" Naomi felt the vibrations run through her body as Emily spoke. She couldn't really understand how anyone could think this was wrong. Love. She could feel her own body responding to the warmth above her, could hear the way her heart was beating rapidly, in perfect synch with Emily's. She sighed, air finally rushing back into her body as she opened her eyes. Concerned warm brown eyes were looking into her own, she saw the relief in them. Smiling slightly, she squeezed Emily tighter again.

"If you wanted to be on top, all you had to do was ask." She whispered in Emily's ear with a grin, before rolling them both over so they were side by side. Emily huffed and slapped her shoulder with a grin, while Naomi just laughed.

"You're the one that can't seem to stay on your feet around me." The tone was slightly annoyed, but Naomi wasn't fooled, those eyes were sparkling with playfulness. She pushed the strand of hair falling in front of the face in front of her behind an ear. The blush that followed the simple gesture didn't go unnoticed.

"Maybe I'm allergic to you? Would explain a lot…" She answered, raising an eyebrow, not quite managing to conceal the twitching of her lips. "…although, you're the one going beet red when I touch you." She smirked openly at Emily.

"Well…" Emily said, eyes twinkling. "We just have to test that theory then." She got to her feet and was moving away from Naomi. Naomi bounded to her feet in an instant and caught her hand.

"Oh no, you don't Miss Fitch." She said in a mock scornful tone. She felt their hands instinctively interlace, a warmth shooting up her arm. She grinned as she looked down at it in slight awe, before raising her eyes to meet Emily's. Her breath caught at the intensity she saw in them and her grin faltered. The flicker she had almost forgotten threatened to break through again. She swallowed and pushed it back down.

"I…" Emily started, breaking the trance they seemed to have fallen into, but she it looked like she was having a hard time dragging her eyes away from Naomi. The rest of her words got stuck in her throat and the silence continued, both just standing there looking at each other. Naomi was fascinated by the swirling colours in Emily's eyes, the flecks of gold, the dark brown, she just couldn't get enough. Her thumb started tracing patterns on their linked hands automatically and she saw the sharp intake of breath more then she heard it.

"Right." She heard her self say. "We should probably…" She lost her train of thought as Emily stepped closer. She couldn't quite remember what it was she had been about to say.

"Yeah, we probably should." Emily answered with a grin that softened into a smile, never breaking eye contact. Naomi smiled back, trying to reign the herd of kamikaze butterflies that had suddenly appeared in her stomach, back in. She couldn't find the words she wanted to say to her, couldn't think a single coherent thought.

Tentatively, she reached out with her free hand and traced her cheek. Emily's eyes fluttered shut and her breath seemed to hitch slightly again. She let her hand fall again, not quite sure why. Emily's eyes opened again, darker then before, the raw emotions in them made her almost want to take a step back. An abrupt feeling of need crashed through her, a need to be just a little bit closer. She couldn't quite shake the feeling of being pulled towards the other girl, wasn't sure if she wanted to shake it.

She drew a shaky breath, not realizing until her lungs started burning that she had held it for a while now. It was like that simple little act released something in Emily. Before Naomi had a chance to close the distance herself, Emily's body crashed into her. Her mind went blissfully blank as their lips met, hands trying desperately to drag the other closer, she could feel Emily doing the same.

The feel of Emily's skin under her fingers told her that she had somehow managed to slide her top upwards. She could feel the goose bumps forming on the skin her fingers grazed, could feel her own body reacting the same way when Emily's hand suddenly was on her bare skin, her other hand slipping up into Naomi's hair. When their tongues finally connected, Naomi felt like every nerve ending fired up at once, not just the ones Emily's touch had already made burn. All that went through her mind was red. It was all she could see behind her eyelids. It covered her, surrounded her and all it reminded her of was Emily. She tightened her hold, bringing them even closer. She could feel her own heartbeat, feel Emily's. She never wanted this to end, wanted this to go on forever.

Forever. The word rang in her mind and lifted the red haze she was in. It was too soon, not for her, but for Emily. She already knew that this was it, knew it was what she wanted, but Emily had only just figured it out. Reluctantly, she pulled away slightly, breaking the kiss.

"Jesus Christ." She managed to get out, her eyes still closed. She didn't trust herself to look into those eyes, they always dragged her in, fuelled the raging desire to just forget about being responsible and kiss Emily until they both were breathless and trembling. She exhaled slowly, untangling the grip she still had on Emily's hair. She took a step back, her knees trembling slightly before she opened her eyes.

"I… Umm…" Emily said, her voice so husky that it made Naomi almost swallow her tongue. Her eyes were still closed, Naomi's lips twitched into a smile, apparently she wasn't the only one who had been affected by the kiss. Emily's eyes opened slowly and Naomi's smile slid right off. Their normal warm colour was replaced by something that could only be described as a look of pure lust. It was like something hit her in the gut, she could feel her own pupils dilate, her heart thumping heavily. She licked her lips, trying desperately to regain some of her self-control.

"How the hell did you two get out of the fucking bathroom?" The voice came out of nowhere, making them both jump. Naomi whipped around and was suddenly face to face with Effy and Katie. Katie had a scowl on her face, indicating that she had been the one to speak. Effy had the ghost of a smile on her lips, but it was so small you really had to know her to see it was there.

Before Naomi had time to open her mouth and sarcastically answer a very annoyed looking Katie, a red blur shot past her with a growl. She saw the annoyance on Katie's face turn to horror, then panic as Emily was racing towards her. Even Effy looked slightly shocked when the two crashed to the ground in one big tangle. She soon got over it and joined Naomi who were now just staring slack-jawed at the pair now shrieking at each other.

"So how did you get out of the bathroom?" She calmly said to Naomi, ignoring the increasing volume of the twins. Naomi shook her head and looked back at Effy for the first time since the twins collided. She looked mildly curious, only the way she winced every time another unintelligible shriek came from the ground, told Naomi that she wasn't as unfazed as she tried to let on.

"Emsy! Just fucking stop will you?" Katie yelled, making Naomi flinch. She looked back at Effy who shook her head.

"We tied all the towels together and used it as a rope." Naomi answered, amazed that her voice sounded so calm. She looked over at Katie and Emily a bit nervously.

"Don't you Emsy me, you fucking cunt!" Emily shouted.

"Hmm… I should have known you'd find a way out of there. Did you at least work things out?" Effy was still calm, but she refused to look at the scene unfolding not that far from them. Naomi had enough when she saw Katie raise her hand to slap Emily. Effy just touched her hand and shook her head again. "They need to sort it out themselves, answer my question instead." Naomi sighed and stayed where she was.

"I was trying to help you! You've been moping around since you got back! Anyone could see you liked her! And how dare you call me a cunt?" Katie was fuming. Her hand was still raised, but instead of slapping Emily, she flipped them over so that she was on top. "You wouldn't listen to me! I had to do something, didn't I?"

"Yeah…" Naomi couldn't help the goofy grin forming on her face. "We worked things out." The grin became a frown when there was a loud yelp from Emily or Katie. It was a bit hard to tell which. She shot a concerned look at them, a brief look at Effy told her that she too was now getting a bit more worried. It turned out that Emily had flipped them over again and was now back on top. The concerned frown turned into a smirk. "Seems she does like it on top." She mumbled quietly, earning an amused chuckle from Effy.

"In what world is drugging someone and locking them in a fucking bathroom, helping someone?" Emily growled, menace pouring from every word. Effy actually looked slightly alarmed for a moment, so Naomi decided to distract her.

"Mum called when we were in there. She left a message for us." Naomi grinned as a plan formed in her mind. "I didn't hear all of it, it was a bit muffled by the door. We should take those fighting Fitches with us and listen to it." Another yelp made her look back at the twins, they were now side by side, both struggling to get the upper hand. "Ehh… When they're done killing each other that is." Effy just nodded, eyes still trained on the two on the ground.

"Are you saying it didn't help? The way it was done was probably a bit… sketchy, but you can't tell me it didn't work. Not with the way you were looking at Campbell when we came back." She must have seen something on Emily's face as she said it. "Hah! I knew it! You were all doe eyed and shit! See, I helped!" Katie suddenly sounded smug and triumphant.

"I'm guessing this whole mess was your idea?" Naomi was surprised to see a slight blush on Effy's cheeks, as if she was slightly afraid of what kind of reaction she would get. Guilty eyes met her own for a second before they suddenly seemed to find something highly interesting on the hem of her shirt, fingers twisting the material slightly. It was as close to fidgeting as Naomi had ever seen her come, it was actually a little unnerving.

"That's not the point Katie!" Emily seemed to have calmed down a little, some of the wind had gone out of her. She still sounded a bit exasperated though. Her eyes briefly met Naomi's and Naomi smiled softly at her, Emily deflated all the way when she saw that and smiled back.

"You and Katie owe us a bunch of towels by the way." Naomi stated to Effy, eyes still locked with Emily. She wanted to walk over to her, drag her to her feet and just kiss her senseless. She dragged her eyes away reluctantly when Effy started laughing. "What?" She said indignantly. "We had to get out of there somehow. Just because you two were too busy shagging each others brains out, doesn't mean you could just leave us in there forever." Effy's laugh stopped suddenly and she went back to looking guilty, the blush much deeper now. Naomi smirked at her and raised an eyebrow. It seemed she'd had the right idea about how the other two had spent their time while Emily and herself had been locked in.

"Did you tell Emily?" Effy looked up at her, fear in her eyes. Naomi almost wanted to abort the half-assed plan she'd thought out, but she saw the dangling towel rope from the corner of her eye.

"No, I didn't tell her." It wasn't a lie, she hadn't told Emily a thing. Well, not really. Confirming what she already knew wasn't telling, was it? Effy looked relieved for a moment, before her face fell and she looked impassive again, her eyes firmly on Katie and Emily. They were now hugging, the act caught Naomi off guard. Apparently she had missed something in their conversation.

"I told Katie they should stay here and have a drink." Emily said to her as soon as they came up to Effy and Naomi. Her hand twitched towards Naomi, but she never touched her, she missed seeing the same twitch from Katie towards Effy.

"Maybe we should make them tea." Naomi's lips quirked upwards. Effy chuckled lightly, while Katie huffed. Emily just smiled at her, making her heart skip a beat. She could fought down another urge to walk over to her and kiss her.

"When you two are done eye fucking each other…" Katie let the statement hang in the air as Emily and Naomi ripped their eyes away from each other. "That's what I thought." She said and strutted towards the backdoor. Naomi just shook her head, while Effy actually smirked, before they all followed her in.

* * *

"I can't believe you did that!" Effy huffed, shoving Naomi roughly. They were both standing in front of the window watching the retreating forms of the twins. "That was not how I wanted her to find out, damn it!"

"Well, I never planned on spending the day in a goddamn bathroom, so I guess we're even." Naomi smirked, feeling the flicker that had almost broken through when she was around Emily, flee into the back of her mind. "Besides, I was only trying to help." She quipped as she ignored the feeling the vanishing flicker left behind, she was after all, getting kind of good at it.

"Yes, but having the girl you love finding out you love them through your… your…" Effy waved her hand in the air, obviously trying to figure out what Gina was to her. "Whatever the hell Gina is to me… And on a damn answering machine. Jesus Christ!" Naomi raised an eyebrow at Effy's rambling, this was a day for firsts with her.

They were still at the window and saw Emily shove Katie and laugh. The sight made both of them grin like idiots before catching each others eyes and then they both blushed. Regardless of the tension, they still stood there and watched the two girls round the corner.

"So when are you gonna tell Emily?" The question sort of blindsided Naomi and she wasn't too sure what exactly Effy meant. "About the flickers." Effy clarified as she saw the confused look on Naomi's face, Naomi grimaced.

"Oh, I can just see that conversation…" Naomi answered. "Just imagine it: Oh, Emily… I meant to tell you sooner, but I've been have these things I call flickers. I have some idea what they are, since I see you all the time in my head, feel you, hear you. I doesn't mean I'm crazy though, it just means I'm special… That would be the conversation of a lifetime." She lifted a hand to her head, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"Give her some credit, she might understand it better then you think. Well, maybe not if you explain it like that…" Effy grinned at the crestfallen look on Naomi's face.

"Damn it Stonem! What do you know?" She growled, making Effy grin even wider. "You are so fucking annoying sometimes." She threw her hands up and walked out of the room.

"I know more then you think, Campbell!" Effy shouted after her, laughing when she heard Naomi let out another growl of frustration.

"You're still buying new towels!" She shouted down the stairs, grimacing over the faint chuckle she could still hear from below.

Shutting the door to her bedroom, she let out a sigh and leant temporarily on it. She could still feel the flicker in the back of her mind, but it was like it was meant to come at another time. Like she was meant to have it in front of Emily. The thought made her exhale softly, it terrified her. She had finally made some sort of progress with her and now she stood to lose her and all over something she had no control over. Well, at least she thought she would lose her.

"Cause who would believe it? It all sounds too crazy to be true." She said quietly to herself. The thought stirred something in her. She pushed herself off the door and went over to her desk. She rooted around under the various scraps of papers, lifted some books out of the way, before she found it. "You would believe it, wouldn't you?" She said to the business card, flipping it over to read the note on the back again.

Call me when you find out  
-Wes

Before she could dial the number on the front though, another flicker snuck up on her. She didn't know how she knew it was different then the one that had threatened to overpower her when she was around Emily, but she did. She placed the card and phone back on top of her desk, before closing her eyes and letting it in.

_***Flicker*** Her fingered hovered over the call button. This shouldn't be too hard, right? Emily was the one that told her that they were going to spend the next two years around each other, so why shouldn't they go out to this quiz thingy? Taking one last deep breath and another swig of the vodka bottle in her hand, she pushed the button before she had time to reconsider._

_She answered after two rings. "Hey!" She sounded cheerful, Naomi could practically hear the smile on her face. She swallowed, images of a drunk and happy Emily in a bouncy castle invaded her mind._

_"Hi!" She fought back the groan, she sounded like a freaking teenage boy, her voice breaking. "It's me. Erm… Can you talk?" She cringed, this was not going well. She should have planned this better._

_"I know who you are, you twat. I have your number." Naomi could picture the smirk on her face, the hair falling in front of her eyes. She took another drink of the bottle, felt the burn down her throat. It took her mind of Emily for a second, but Emily wasn't done talking. "So… why did you call?"_

_"I was wondering if you would like to come to the quiz at Keith's tomorrow?" She closed her eyes briefly, that had sounded too much like she wanted to ask her on a date, crap. "I mean… Erm… The boys were talking about it and I just thought it sounded… fun." She finished lamely._

_"Sure." Emily answered and Naomi could actually feel her heart soar at that one little word._

_"Great. Cool. It's at 5. We can meet there? Or if you want to meet somewhere else, we could do that." She almost groaned again, this was not the way this conversation was supposed to go. She was supposed to have casually mentioned that she was going and that was that. Not ask her to come, not sound like she was asking her on a date. And she was not supposed to be this nervous._

_"Naomi?" Came the hesitant reply._

_"Yes?" She closed her eyes again, she could hear the question she didn't want to answer in the way Emily had said her name. She wished she could rewind the entire conversation._

_"Is this… I mean are you…?" Emily hesitated._

_"I just thought about what you said the other day." Naomi interjected, trying to fend of the inevitable. "You know, the thing about us getting along?" She didn't give Emily a chance to answer. "So I thought we should do something together. You know, like normal people do. Like friends do." She said the last part with an air of finality, hoping Emily would catch on._

_"Friends." It sounded defeated. "Yeah, sure. I'll meet you there. 5 was it?" Somewhere in the last sentence, Naomi thought she could hear a resolve. It scared her._

_"Yeah, 5." She answered, putting the bottle down. "So I'll see you there then?" The last question sounded weird in her own ears, needy and almost hopeful. She rubbed her hand through her hair._

_"Yeah, I'll be there." Emily answered, sounding a bit more cheerful again. There was a muffled shout somewhere behind Emily, Naomi couldn't make out what it was, but she got her answer only a second later. "I should go, dinner is ready. See you tomorrow, Naomi." The way she said Naomi, made her insides tingle, she shuddered._

_"Good, I'll see you tomorrow." She croaked out and waited a few moments before hanging up, but Emily didn't say anything else._

_Finally groaning out loud, she slumped down on her bed. "Great!" She told the darkened room. "That wasn't awkward at all." She snorted, covering her eyes with her hands. "It's not a date, even if she might think it's a date, it's not. Just a friendly outing, nothing special. It's not like I want it to be a date, it's not like I think about her all the time, or think about how soft her lips were, or how I want to… Nope, not going there." She didn't even manage to convince herself. Sighing, she got back up and walked out of the room. ***Flicker***_

She found herself in her room again, sitting on her bed. Effy was standing in her doorway, looking at her. She lifted her eyes and found concerned ones staring back. Offering a small smile, she got back on her feet, walked over to her desk and picked up her phone.

"I know I should tell her, Eff, but I need time. I need her to not judge me before she hears the full story. If I lose her, if she won't talk to me, it will break me." She lifted her head and looked at Effy again. "And I don't think it'll be as easy as drugging her and stuffing her in a room with me the next time." She smiled sadly at Effy and fidgeted with the phone.

"It's ok, Naomi. You guys will be ok." Effy stepped in to the room and stilled her movement. "Trust me. I'm the all-knowing one, remember?" She smirked slightly and carefully wrapped Naomi in a hug.

"Thanks Eff." Naomi mumbled, feeling a bit foolish all of a sudden.

"I actually came in here to ask if Katie could stay the night, but I can tell her not to come over if you want." Effy stepped back and the look on her face almost made Naomi laugh.

"Don't be daft. Of course she can stay here, just don't repeat the kitchen performance and we're good." Relief flooded Effy's face. "And do try to keep the noise down." She stuck out her tongue at Effy and got a punch on the shoulder in return.

"So we're good? You know what to do?" Effy asked, the double meaning wasn't lost on Naomi.

"Yeah, we're good and you need to get the hell out of my room, because I'm going to call Emily and ask her out. And no, I don't need an audience for that." She grinned. "Now get! Go call Katie and invite her to the house of madness." Effy smirked and walked out the door. "Oh, and Eff?" Effy stuck her head back in. "Tell her to bring towels." Effy flipped her off and Naomi laughed.

She smiled at the phone when she found Emily's number, she'd gotten it only hours ago. Of course, she had already known the number, but she hadn't exactly known how to explain that to her. So she had just neglected to mention it. She hit the button and lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hey, miss me already?" A husky voice answered, making Naomi grin. The flickers were nice when she had no way of seeing Emily or talking to her, but now that she did have a way, they really paled in comparison to the real thing.

"You wish." She said in what she hoped was a flirty manner. Emily chuckled lightly on the other end. "I was thinking that we should go out tomorrow. If you don't have any other plans that is."

"Didn't get enough of me today?" The tone was light and slightly hesitant. Naomi frowned, trying to think of what she had done wrong, it all suddenly clicked in her head.

"So you're saying it's too early for me to ask you on a date? Or are you trying to say that _you_ got enough of _me_ today?" She joked, crossing her fingers on her lap. She really hoped she had read Emily right.

"So this would be you, asking me on a date?" Naomi smiled like an idiot at the question.

"Yes, Emily Fitch. This is me, asking you on a date." She held her breath waiting for the answer.

"Well, Naomi Campbell, it depends on where you're planning on taking me." The husky note was back in her voice and it made Naomi picture just the ways she did want to take her. "Naomi? Are you still there?" Naomi let out her breath, trying desperately to dispel the pictures in her head.

"Yeah, I'm still here." She managed to get out. "Just trying to figure out if I should answer your question or say it's a surprise."

"And what did you settle on?" Emily asked, grin evident in her question.

"I'm gonna go with… It's a surprise? I promise it won't involve climbing out a bathroom window though." Emily laughed.

"Well, when you put it like that. How can I resist?" Naomi's heart fluttered and she wanted to run around the neighbourhood screaming that she had a date with the hottest girl in Bristol, she settled on an incredibly goofy grin instead.

"Yeah? You're coming? Great! I'll pick you up at five." She got up from her bed and did a little victory dance around her room.

"Can't wait!" Emily sounded giddy.

"I know, I can't wait either." She still had that grin on her face when she caught sight of herself in the mirror. "So, I'm going to hang up now and go to bed."

"Where is the logic in that?" Emily asked, sounding a bit puzzled.

"The sooner I go to bed, the sooner it'll be tomorrow. I don't think you can fault that logic, Ems." She answered, well aware that it made her sound like a love-struck fool.

"Ahh…" Emily said, with an air of understanding. "I guess this is good night then."

"Yes it is." Naomi said. "So, good night Emily."

"Good night, Naomi. Sweet dreams." Naomi had no worries about what her dreams would be about. It was probably the same thing all her dreams had been about lately.

"Sweet dreams." She answered. "I'm gonna go now before we start the whole 'you hang up' thing. Cause that might be a little bit too sappy, even for me." She grinned at Emily's sudden laugh, she wished she could spend her life making her laugh like that.

"Alright then. I'll see you at five tomorrow. Bye Naoms." The line went dead, but Naomi's smile only got bigger.

"Yeah, you will." She told the empty room, grinning madly.

* * *

**Next chapter? I don't know when it'll come. I have a plan though (yay!) so not too long. (I hope!)**

**Anyways, If you want to read something fun and new... Try Per Ardua Ad Astra by Darthcaiter. I promise you it's good.**

**Do your thing down here, tell me I'm killing you with fluff. Complain about the lack of retaliation from Naomily towards Keffy... Or just tell me to update soon. :P **


	27. The right way

**A/N: All I have to say is that exams are a bloody nightmare and I'm up to my eyeballs in textbooks. **

**So without much more fuzz...**

**Chapter 26: The right way.**

The sun came through her window, making it impossible to fall back to sleep. She tried anyways though, not wanting to get up just yet. She hadn't been able to go to sleep after asking Emily out, it felt something was missing. She had finally fallen asleep about, she opened an eye and cast a quick glance on the clock, three hours ago. She groaned. Burrowing further under her covers, trying desperately to block the world out just for a little while longer, she suddenly became aware of her door opening slowly. The smell of coffee drifted towards her.

"You must be mad if you think I'm going to drink anything you're offering me, Eff." She croaked, the coffee smelt really good though. She shifted under the covers, rolling towards the shuffling footsteps and the heavenly aroma.

"It's a good thing Effy isn't the one offering then." She heard a familiar voice husk out, complete with a little chuckle that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

"Emily?" She cracked her eye open again and saw the slightly blushing form of Emily leaning over to put the coffee down on the bedside table next to her. She propped herself up on her elbows, her eyes opened all the way now. "What are you doing here?" The blush deepened.

"Oh, you know… I was in the neighbourhood." Emily joked, refusing to meet Naomi's eyes. Naomi frowned, not quite understanding why she all of sudden was acting like that. She shook her head slightly, trying to clear it.

"Right…" She tried to compose herself, push the nagging feeling that something was wrong back down. "And what exactly brings you to my neighbourhood then? Well, apart from making sure Effy doesn't knock me out with her beverages." She grinned, but Emily was still looking around the room, avoiding looking at the bed all together.

"I… ehh…" Emily chuckled nervously. "Katie called me." She got out after a while, eyes sweeping over the bed briefly, her cheeks turning red again. She fiddled with a ring on her finger, Naomi smiled at her and reached for the coffee cup.

"Really? And what did the lovely Katiekins want?" She took a sip of the coffee and sighed with pleasure, eyes slipping shut for a moment. "Thanks for the coffee, by the way." She brought her free hand up to her face and rubbed at her eyes, feeling more refreshed. She looked up at Emily, willing her to turn around and meet her gaze, but found herself tracing the sight of her bare neck with her eyes instead, forgetting what she was thinking. She really wanted to reach up and touch the skin there, brush the few strands of hair that was in the way away and kiss her there. She shook her head again, looking back down into her cup.

"I… She… Umm…" Emily swallowed loud enough that Naomi could hear her. "She.. Ehh… forgot to bring towels." Emily turned towards her again, eyes nervously darting around the room before landing at a spot right above Naomi.

"I did tell Effy to remind her." Naomi chuckled weakly. The chuckle died when she saw Emily close her eyes and mutter under her breath. She frowned. "Is something wrong?" She asked, hoping to get to the bottom of the slightly insane behaviour. "Did I do something? I know I can be a bit of a twat, but…" She let the statement drop, brow still furrowed, she put the cup back on the bedside table.

"No! You haven't done anything. You just… I'm just… I… Oh God" Emily groaned, eyes still closed, her hand coming up to cover her face.

"Whatever it is…" Naomi leaned out and touched her hand, trying to get her to look at her, electricity shot up her arm. "…just tell me." Her voice was soft, low. Emily grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together. Naomi wasn't sure she was aware she was doing it, it just seemed like something she felt compelled to do. The gesture made Naomi smile softly. Emily just let out a sigh and finally met her eyes. The smile slipped off Naomi's face, her mouth went dry. She felt her heart speed up.

"I can't look at you." Emily finally said, eyes dark, hypnotic. "I can't look at you because when I do…" Her voice dropped another octave, the huskiness becoming more pronounced. "When I do, all I can think about is…" She took a step closer, bringing her free hand up to touch Naomi's cheek. It trailed down it, skirting lightly over her neck, tracing her collarbone. "…this." The reason why she hadn't been looking at her, hadn't met Naomi's eyes, suddenly became painfully clear.

Naomi blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "I sleep naked." She wanted to close her eyes at the ridiculousness of that statement, but she couldn't look away from those eyes. Emily growled somewhere in the back of her throat at the exact time Naomi tugged her down, not caring that her blanket slipped as she rose to meet Emily's lips.

Everything seemed to slow down when their lips connected, Emily ended up straddling her somehow. Their hands were still interlaced in-between them, she could feel the back of Emily's on her bare stomach, the other hand clutching her hair. Her own free hand seeking skin, pushing at the t-shirt Emily had on. The moan from Emily when Naomi finally manages to scrape her fingers against a bare back almost makes her lose all control.

"Emily." She sighed against her lips, feeling a flicker press on her mind, waiting for her to let go of the last of her resolve. She knew that if she let it break through, Emily would see what she sees, she would feel what she feels, but she can't. She can't let her, not yet, so she pushed the urge to let go down and concentrated on Emily's lips on hers. On the hand in her hair, tugging her closer.

Their tongues met, making them both moan at the same time. The electric feeling shooting through her body, intensified. She could feel Emily's heartbeats, beating in time with her own, racing along. The skin under her fingers was hot, smooth. It was driving her insane, she wanted to feel all of it, to see all of it, she wanted to taste it. Her lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, her head was telling her to ignore it, but it was getting more and more difficult. Gasping in a lungful of air, she broke the kiss, she could hear an echoing gasp from Emily.

"Naomi." The reverence she could hear in that one word, made her head spin even more. She felt the hand still clutched in her hair loosen its grip, drawing circles on her neck instead. Her eyes fluttered open and met Emily's. There was a fire in those eyes, a swirl, that took her breath away. Their foreheads connected, neither looking away. Emily's skin felt so soft under fingers, so warm. They just sat like that, staring into each others eyes, none of them saying a word.

Minutes passed, her heartbeat wasn't as frantic anymore, but it still thudded heavily in her chest. She could see the swirls calm down in the eyes in front of her, feel her own breathing become steadier. The flicker pushed against her mind again, trying to break free, she still wouldn't let it. She slammed it back down before she could even think about it. She drew back from Emily slightly.

She drew a deep breath, savouring the scent that was distinctly Emily. "We should probably go down to the others." She whispered, not sure if she wanted to break the silence. She watched as Emily closed her eyes and slowly got off her. Hands were sliding over skin and her breath caught at the sensation. The hands that had been trapped between them stayed interlaced. She missed her warmth immediately. It took all her strength to focus on pulling the sheets back up around her body, instead of pulling Emily back down on top of her.

She watched as Emily reluctantly takes another step away from her and gave their joined hands a quick squeeze before letting go. Emily smiled down at her briefly.

"I should go and let you get… umm… dressed." The blush working itself up Emily's cheek is adorable, she can't help the insane grin spreading over her own face at the sight of it. "I'll be downstairs, I wanted to ask you something, but…" She takes a deep breath and closed her eyes, looking pained. "… if I stay here any longer, I'm gonna ignore the fact that we haven't actually been on a date yet and, well, jump you again."

"Erm…" Naomi swallowed. "Yes… That would be bad." She tried desperately to hide the smirk at her statement. Still clutching the sheet to her chest, she got out of bed and started looking absentmindedly for something to wear.

"What…What are you doing?" It sounds all husky and breathy again. The flicker in her head makes another desperate shove, trying to push it's way out. It's actually giving her a headache. Couple that with Emily's voice sounding like that and she's not quite sure how to focus on what she's doing, much less actually answering the question. She reached for a random t-shirt in her closet. She slipped it on without really looking at it, somehow managing to not lose the sheet in the process. Her back was to Emily, she could feel her eyes following her every move. She took a final deep breath before she turned around.

"Emily…" It sounded strangled, even in her own ears. Dark eyes was staring back at her. She could hear her own heart pounding in her chest again, before finally managing to actually tear her eyes away. Another deep breath and she could feel herself calm down enough to start moving again. She could see how Emily's eyes grew wider when she brushed against her on her way to the dresser, hear the soft exhale she made at the contact.

She shot a quick glance at Emily when she finally managed to find a pair of shorts, she was facing away from Naomi, eyes trained on the closet in front of her. Naomi took the opportunity to slip on the shorts without much trouble.

"You can look now. I've got clothes on." She said with a small smile, throwing the sheets back onto her bed. Emily turned slowly and Naomi couldn't resist holding her arms out and exclaiming a soft. "Taadaa!" She grinned at the incredulous look on Emily's face.

"Taadaa? What the fuck?" Emily growled, stalking past her heading for the door. Naomi stopped her with a hand on her wrist. The touch seemed to ignite something in her, the hand gripped instead of just softly stopping Emily from walking away from her. Emily's resolve seemed to snap too, meeting Naomi halfway as she was rapidly closing the space between them.

The kiss was frenzied, desperate. Before Naomi had time to think about it, she'd backed them both into the dresser with a soft thud. Hands were gripping, drawing the other closer. Naomi found herself grinding into the other when she heard her moan. The kiss broke abruptly as Emily suddenly wrenched her self away from Naomi. Naomi just looked at her, feeling more then a little dazed.

"If you don't stop, right now." Emily growled. "I won't be able to stop myself from doing something we really shouldn't do until we at least had one proper date." The words made their way slowly to her brain, registering somewhere in the back of her head. She hastily took a few steps back, face burning from the blush making it's way up to the root of her hair.

"Sorry." She breathed out, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. "I just… You just…" She stammered, not really knowing what she was trying to say herself. She sighed dejectedly, hoping Emily would understand from that.

"I know, I feel it too." Was Emily's only response. Naomi looked back up at her, noting the same blush she was sure was on her own face, on Emily's.

"We should never be alone together." Naomi groaned, sitting down on her bed and put her head in her hands.

"I don't think that's very realistic." A new voice coming from the doorway suddenly said. Naomi's head flew up and locked eyes with Effy, looking rather amused.

"How… How long have you…" Emily stuttered, looking rather uncomfortable. Naomi just shot the new arrival a weak grin before putting her head back in her hands. She didn't stay that way though, she pushed her hair away from her face and sat back up.

"Been here?" Effy asked with a smirk on her lips. It turned into a full-blown grin when Emily went beet red again and nodded. "Since you growled at Naomi and told her to stop or you'd take her right here and now." Naomi didn't think it would be possible, but Emily's face got redder.

"What do you want, Eff?" She asked harshly, trying to get her to stop focussing on Emily. "Did you just come here to perv, or did you actually have a reason for barging into my room without knocking?" Effy raised an eyebrow at her, making Naomi roll her eyes.

"Katie sent me, wanted to let you know she's saved you a towel and that there's breakfast in the kitchen." She grinned at Naomi and added. "And for the record, I did knock… You must have been too…busy to hear it." She chuckled at the face Naomi knew she must have made at that last statement and Naomi used the opportunity to throw one of her pillows at her.

"Shut up, Eff. At least we didn't go at it at the kitchen counter." Naomi smirked herself when the chuckle stopped abruptly.

"Oh God." Emily moaned. "Please tell me this was before you dated my sister." She shuddered and muttered something about mental images. Naomi winced in sympathy, before grinning devilishly at Effy's flustered appearance.

"What was before me?" Katie suddenly stuck her head into the room and took in her sisters tussled hair, her girlfriends blush and Naomi's grin. "What the hell just happened?" She demanded, coming fully into the room, hands on her hips, frowning. Naomi just laughed in response, making the frown deepen.

"You don't want to know." Emily muttered. "Now, come on. Someone said something about food." She dragged a spluttering Katie out the door leaving the other two behind. Naomi went to follow them, but Effy suddenly found her voice again.

"I wish you'd stop trying to make me look like an idiot in front of my girlfriend's twin." She sighed, pushing her hands through her hair.

"Hey! You're the one going around drugging people and interrupting stuff you really shouldn't interrupt." Naomi exclaimed with a huff.

"It looked like you managed to get yourselves under control, like you were done." That insufferable smirk was back on her face. Naomi huffed again.

"Trust me." She said. "We were nowhere near done." She grimaced and walked out the door. "Come on, before they eat all the food. I'm hungry."

The quiet. "I bet you are." Followed by another chuckle from Effy, really didn't do anything to dispel the growing feeling of frustration in her. She could feel the flicker retreating back somewhere in her mind, at least she didn't have to fight to keep that back too. She sighed.

Breakfast was excruciating, she could feel Emily's bare leg pressed up against her own as she tried desperately to just concentrate on following the conversation between the others. Effy's knowing smirks and amused face did nothing to help the situation. Emily didn't seem as affected by the whole thing as Naomi was, she seemed to easily follow the ramblings of her sister. Naomi, however, had lost the thread somewhere around Katie's explanation on something to do with something. Alright, maybe she'd lost concentration before she'd even sat down. She shuffled the food around on her plate, trying to snap out of it.

"…Don't you think?" Naomi looked up and saw three pairs of eyes on her. She had no idea what or who to side with. Effy raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"I'm sorry? What are we talking about?" She asked, trying to dig through her brain for the first part of the sentence. She came up blank. Turning to Emily, she could see the faint smirk on her lips and what seemed to be a triumphant light in her eyes.

"Told you she wasn't paying attention, Kay." Effy said, grinning in her direction. Laughter filled the kitchen as Naomi still wasn't quite sure what they had been talking about.

"Whatever." Naomi shot back and got up to put her mostly empty plate in the sink. A sudden thought came to her as she turned back towards the table. "Emily? What did you want to ask me earlier?" She smiled softly at her as she saw the faint blush start up Emily's face. Effy looked from Naomi to Emily for a second before turning to Katie, who suddenly looked intrigued.

"Come on, Katie. We've got places to be and towels to buy." Katie looked like she was going to protest, but Effy silenced her with a quick kiss and practically dragged her out of the kitchen, only to stick her head in a second later. "If we're not allowed to do anything in here, neither are you." She stuck her tongue out at Naomi who flipped her off. An indignant sounding Katie made Effy disappear quite quick though. Naomi just shook her head before looking back at Emily.

"Oh my god!" Emily said loudly. "You weren't kidding when you said you caught them on the kitchen counter, did you? I thought you were having me on!" She looked absolutely horrified.

"No." Naomi chuckled. "I wasn't having you on at all. I didn't even know they were together before I found them. Katie was probably more horrified then you are now." Naomi grinned at the slight shiver running through Emily's body.

"That's just.. Urgh!" Emily grimaced, another shiver clearly visible. She got up from the chair and started to pace. "They really… You know what, just don't tell me. Don't ever mention it again. Just… Urgh." Naomi smiled at her, finding her absolutely adorable in that moment.

Naomi walked up to her and placed her hands on Emily's shoulders, stopping her from pacing. She could have swore she felt the flicker in her head grow, like there was something being added to it. Ignoring the feeling, she used one of her hands to tilt Emily's chin up. Their eyes met again, for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, it still felt like the first. Her breath caught in her throat and she could feel her heart speeding up, feel Emily's heart doing the same.

"Just breathe." She murmured, she was getting lost in those eyes again, they were swirling with emotion. She briefly wondered if her own eyes looked the same. She wanted to kiss her again, but she wanted to talk to Emily too. The wanting to talk won. "Your question?" She said, hoping Emily would know what she was asking.

"Huh?" Emily looked bewildered for a moment, before realisation seemed to hit her. "Oh! Right! Erm… I just wanted to know what to wear. You know, for tonight?" A shy smile seemed to stretch across her face, making Naomi smile encouragingly back.

"I like what you're wearing now." She said, looking down at the shorts and the scruffy looking t-shirt Emily had on. Naomi thought she had never looked more sexy, but that might be because she was allowed to touch her, to hold her. She met Emily's eyes again, grinning.

"So… You want me to wear a basically see-through t-shirt and shorts that might have seen better days?" Naomi just continued to grin, watching as Emily raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to tell me we're not going somewhere fancy?"

"Nope. I'm telling you I don't really care what you wear, because you look beautiful no matter what." It slipped out before she could stop it, it sounded so goddamn cheesy. She closed her eyes for a second, trying to stop the embarrassed blush from crawling up her cheeks. It didn't work.

"Well, you look pretty good yourself." Emily whispered, making Naomi look back at her. The intensity in her eyes almost knocked her over. She tried gathering herself, but there is no way she can do that with Emily staring at her like that.

"Right." She cleared her throat, trying to get her voice to come out the way she want it to. "What I meant to say is that you should dress up too much, we're not…" She trails off when Emily smirks at her. To be honest, she has no idea where she's taking Emily yet. " Umm… You should wear something smart, but casual?"

"You're cute when you're flustered." Emily just answered, smiling up at her. "I should go. I promised my dad to help him with his latest fitness craze." She laughed. "I don't know what he's dreamed up now, but he was saying something about physical therapy and stuff. To be fair, I didn't really pay much attention, I was sort of thinking about this very hot blonde who's taking me out on a date later today." Her eyebrow quirked up and one of those heart stopping smiles was on her face. Naomi could feel her own face light up.

"Oh really?" Her mouth quirked upwards. "Hot blonde, huh?"

"Yes. A very hot blonde." Emily seemed to purr the words out, her eyes trailing the length of Naomi's body. Naomi could feel her knees trying to buckle, her heart pounding and the flicker trying desperately to get her to let go. She swallowed, regained some of her control, suddenly determined to make Emily feel the same things she did.

"Well…" She let her voice drop a few octaves, it couldn't compare to Emily's natural huskiness, but she could try. "…it's too bad you're not free tonight, cause you see, I have a thing for redheads and although you're really a brunette…" She reached up and touched the fire red hair, sliding it through her fingers. "I'd be willing to make an exception." She trailed the same fingers almost lazily down Emily's arm, grinning when she saw the goose bumps rise.

"You're not playing fair." A much huskier voice then her own managed to get out, shaking slightly under the strain of… something. Naomi raised her eyes to Emily's, while casually continuing to trace random patterns on her arm.

"Was I supposed to play fair?" Naomi asked innocently, licking her lips and watched as the brown in Emily's eyes became a little darker, her pupils just a little bit larger. Naomi let her hand drop from Emily's arm and walked over to the table, picking up the rest of the plates from it.

"And just where do you think you're going?" Emily growled behind her, sounding a bit annoyed. Naomi looked back at her, grinning when she saw the pout on her face.

"I'm just trying to clean up a bit… Why? Was there something you wanted?" She smirked at a now flustered Emily and moved past her, depositing the dirty dishes in the sink. She turned back to Emily, looking at her slightly parted lips, letting her eyes roam over her body.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" A breathless voice was asking her, she felt the question draw her closer to Emily. She wanted to be closer, be too close. She swallowed again, wondering vaguely if what she was doing to Emily, had anything to do with what Emily was doing to her. She bit her lip and let her eyes be dragged up to Emily's eyes.

"The same thing you're doing to me, I suppose." She couldn't keep the uncertainty out of her voice, the slight hesitation. Emily's eyes were dark and fiery, almost drowning out her fears. She felt too vulnerable, too open, it made her want to run. There was only one problem though, she had promised herself when all of this started, when she finally came to terms with having the flickers, that she would never do that to Emily. Ever. So, she stood her ground, feeling the pull of the flickers get stronger, felt it grow.

Emily didn't say anything else, she just closed the distance between them and gave her a hug. It wasn't what Naomi expected at all. Slowly, she put her own arms around Emily and buried her face in Emily's hair. It felt spectacular, she wanted to stay like that forever. Sighing, she tightened her hold and started to rub slow circles on her back, inhaling the scent that was so uniquely Emily. She could feel all her tension and apprehension melt away.

"Mmm… This is nice." She murmured, brushing a kiss on to the red hair, slowly exhaling. She could feel Emily trying to burrow herself even closer, it made her smile. It felt like they were made for each other, the perfect fit, she wondered if Emily felt the same. Her train of thought was rudely interrupted by the slamming open of the kitchen backdoor, Emily stepped away from her at the sound and she suddenly felt cold, despite the warm summer air that drifted through the door.

"Don't stop on my account." Cook grinned. "In fact if you want to step it up a notch or two, I'd be happy to lend a hand, or should I say, a body part of your choice." He spread his arms and grinned even wider, walking towards them. "Or I could just watch while you two muff monkeys go at it, all up to you." Naomi saw Emily scrunch up her face in disgust out of the corner of her eye.

"Cook, stop being a twat!" She walked over to him and swatted him across the back of his head before giving him a quick hug. It felt wrong, he didn't feel the same as Emily, she gave her a smile before turning back to him. "What are you doing here? Did you get lost on your way to the pub?"

"Nah, came to see you, didn't I?" He grinned like a little kid on Christmas morning. "Been a long time, just thought I'd check to see how you're doing." His smile slipped a little and she felt a tug of guilt somewhere in her gut. He looked lonely, the look only lasted for a fraction of a second. "But looks like Red here finally came to her senses, so I'm not needed." She shot another look at Emily, noticing the embarrassed blush on her cheeks.

"Cook." Emily interrupted. "You should stay, I was leaving." She looked at Naomi, seemingly almost apologetic.

"You sure, Emilio?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, I have some stuff to do." She broke out into a radiant smile that was directed at Naomi. "And then this gorgeous blonde is taking me out on a date." Cook bellowed his trademark laugh, while Emily's eyes sparkled.

"Alright then Blondie, don't just stand there. Follow your girl to the door, say a proper goodbye." He eyed the food still on the counter as he spoke. Naomi could basically see the way his mind worked.

"You just want us out of the way so that you can polish off our food." She grinned at the slightly guilty look on his face, he masked it quickly with another face splitting grin. "Just eat, for God's sake Cook." She waved a hand at the food, before turning to smile at Emily again. "Come on you, I hear I'm supposed to walk you to the door." Emily laughed, holding out a hand to her, she took it and laced their fingers together.

"He's not as bad as he sounds, is he?" She asked quietly as soon as they closed the kitchen door. Naomi just smiled and shook her head. "I mean, he's all loud and lewd and somewhat disgusting, but…" She let the sentence drop, but Naomi knew what she meant.

"He's my friend. I love the bastard." She said with a grin, hoping to convey what he meant to her with those simple words. She locked eyes with Emily, stopping in front of the front door. "So… Here we are, milady." She made a small bow, feeling utterly stupid when she straightened up. "The front door." She held her arms out to it, a stupid grin on her face.

"Why thank you." Emily answered, curtsying with a small chuckle. "How kind." She smiled up at Naomi, lifting a hand to trace her cheek. "I had fun. See you in a few hours, yeah?" Naomi smiled softly, leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Try and keep me away." She answered, opening the door. Emily surprised her by gripping her t-shirt and pulling her down for a proper kiss. She moaned when she felt a tongue drag across her bottom lip, hands bury themselves in her hair and Emily's body pressed up against her. Hastily, she grabbed at her waist, dragged her even closer as she opened her mouth. The flicker that had retreated when Cook came through the doors, came thundering back, almost managing to get out this time. She broke the kiss with a gasp.

"Now that's how you say goodbye." Emily purred, her eyes still closed, breathing still shallow.

"I wouldn't mind it if that was how we said hello too." Naomi grinned, slowly managing to extract herself from Emily and lean against the open door.

"That could be arranged…" Emily answered, her eyes opening slowly. "I should go, or I think I'd never leave." She grinned back at Naomi. "See you later, I can't wait for our date." She walked out the door and down the path, turning at the end and waved in goodbye. Naomi hadn't really moved, her eyes tracking every movement Emily made, she waved back. Sighing, she turned back into the house and closed the door, leaning her head to the door for a moment.

A flicker pressed it's way to the surface, different again from the one that had been pressing against her mind when Emily was around her. She couldn't quite place a finger on how she knew, it just felt… Different, smaller somehow. She wondered briefly if she should just push that down too and go talk to Cook, but figured she might as well get it over with. Her mind flickered and a ghostly Emily swam into view.

_***Flicker*** "Happy anniversary, Ems." She grinned at the slightly shocked look on Emily's face. "Did you forget?" She asked as she watched her brows furrow as if she was trying to remember, Naomi's grin deepened. "You did, didn't you?"_

_"I'm not sure…" She answered, looking a bit lost, Naomi decided to take pity on her and not tease her about it._

_"It's one month since our first date." She told her, dragging a finger across that furrowed brow, trying to smooth it out. Emily grabbed her hand as it trailed down her nose, and placed a kiss on the fingertip, smiling up at her._

_"Nai… Our anniversary isn't for another two weeks." She kissed the palm of Naomi's hand. Naomi raised an eyebrow._

_"No… It's one month today… I checked." She frowned as Emily shook her head. "No? Wait a minute, two weeks ago? That's the lake!" She could feel her cheeks reddening at the memory. "You think of that as our first date?" She asked softly, dragging her closer to her so that she could kiss her cheek._

_"Yeah!" Emily nodded, her hand inching under Naomi's shirt so she could drag it across her skin. Naomi could feel goose bumps forming, feel what felt like electricity shoot up her spine. "What do you think of as our first date?" Naomi brought her hands up to rest on Emily's shoulders, sneaking them around to play with Emily's hair, to gently stroke her neck. Emily sighed contentedly and leaned into her, body moulding itself to Naomi's._

_"Erm… I always thought… Well… That the quiz at Keith's was our first date." She answered sheepishly. She could feel Emily shake with laughter._

_"No, Naomi… You made it very clear that it wasn't." She grinned up at Naomi to make sure she knew that she wasn't mad about that. Naomi frowned._

_"Does that mean that…" She paused and dragged Emily towards the kitchen and opened the door. "…this." She gestured to the table set with candles, the vase with freshly picked forget-me-nots and the stove where steam was still coming from the pots. "..was for nothing and I have to do it again in two weeks?" She looked down at Emily who seemed to be speechless, staring wide eyed at the kitchen for a few seconds before looking back at Naomi._

_"You.." She put her arms around Naomi's neck and pulled her down. "…are amazing." She breathed across her lips. Naomi closed the gap, gently kissing her. Emily pulled away slightly. "And no, in two weeks time, we're going back to the lake to recreate our real first date." She brought her mouth up to Naomi's ear. "All of it." She whispered, licking an earlobe before pulling back with a mischievous smirk as Naomi moaned. ***Flicker***_

Smiling to herself, she made her way back to the kitchen. Cook was still wolfing down the leftovers, grinning at her as she came back in. "Alright Naomikins?" He managed between swallows, smiling around some toast and scrambled eggs.

"You ok, Cook?" She asked, wondering why he really was here. She ruffled his hair on her way past him and to the coffee pot. "You want some coffee?" She found two new cups without waiting for an answer.

"I was actually gonna ask you girls to come to the pub later, but since you have a date…" He grinned up at her when she placed the cup in front of her. "Thanks." He muttered, taking a gulp.

"How about tomorrow? We can lounge here for a while, maybe fire up the barbeque and have some beers and then go out?" She drank some of her own coffee, looking at him. "We could invite the other tossers too." She smiled at him.

"Sounds like a plan, Blondie." He scraped the last bits of food from his plate and leaned back with a satisfied smirk. "So… Where are you taking Emilio? Somewhere fancy?" He looked at her, genuinely interested in what she had planned.

"You know, I really didn't know what to do until a brainwave hit me about half an hour ago." She leaned back too, mirroring his position. "I'm gonna need some help though. You up for it?" She took another sip of her coffee and smiled as Cook's face lit up with excitement.

"Hell yeah! We'll give little Red the night of her life." He grinned smugly. "What do you need Blondie? Name it, I'll do whatever you want me to do." He leaned forward and squeezed her knee, she smiled back at him.

It took Naomi and Cook about an hour to come up with a plan that might actually work, they worked it all out while doing the dishes and having a more coffee. She hugged him and watched him stride down the road with a spring in his step and a whistle. He turned around and gave her two thumbs up, before disappearing around the corner. She had barely shut the door and taken a few steps up the stairs when Effy came in the door, dumping several bags on the floor.

"Was that Cook I saw down the road?" She asked, looking up at Naomi.

"Yeah, he stopped by and ate all the food." She grinned at Effy's smirk. "I got him to do the dishes though, so I guess he earned it." She shrugged, her grin deepening at the look of disbelief that flittered across Effy's face. "We're having a barbeque tomorrow, we just need to rally the troops first. Thought we'd go out after. You in?"

"Sure, sounds like fun." Effy grinned. "You on your way in the shower?" Naomi nodded and smirked when Effy handed her a new towel. "We went a bit overboard, I think there is sets in every fucking colour that ever existed." She grimaced at the bags before looking back at Naomi.

"We?" Naomi asked, amused.

"Alright… Katie went a bit overboard." Effy rolled her eyes in a fair imitation of the 'Campbell eye roll of death'. Naomi just laughed and continued up the stairs to the bathroom, Effy following with some of the bags. "You'd probably be better off using the one Emily brought. We need to wash these first." She gestured to the new towels.

"Did I tell you I have a date with Emily today?" She asked, absentmindedly, deciding to find something to wear before her shower and changing direction suddenly. Effy nearly bumped into her.

"Would explain the lack of coordination." She heard Effy mutter. "And no, you didn't, but I figured it was something like that Emily wanted to talk to you about earlier." She continued to the bathroom as Naomi got to her room, but came back a few seconds later, just as Naomi was eyeing her closet. "Forgot to ask, did you want me to clear out for the evening?"

"Nah, I'm taking her out." Naomi grinned, pulling out a top and holding it up so Effy could give her verdict. Effy shook her head. "No? How about this one?" She held up another, this one got a tilted head. "Warmer, but not quite, huh? Alright, this one then?" Another top was held up. Effy just sighed.

"For Christ sake… Just go in the shower, I'll find you something." She ushered Naomi out the door and towards the bathroom. "Go on now."

"Thanks Eff. You're a lifesaver." She shot her a grateful look, Effy just waved a hand and ducked back into Naomi's bedroom.

She was in the shower until the water turned cold, just thinking. She was determined to do what was right when it came to Emily, she just had to figure out what the right thing was. Humming under her breath, she turned off the shower and grabbed the towel. Inhaling the faint lingering trace of Emily still on it, the answer came to her. It was simple really. She smiled to herself as she dried herself off and made her way back to her room. An outfit was laid out on the bed, her fingers traced it, but she went to her desk instead. She picked up her phone and dialled the number on Dr. Snipes' card, nervously waiting for an answer.

"Dr. Snipes' office, how may I help you?" A friendly voice answered after three rings.

"Umm, hi… This is Naomi Campbell, I wanted to talk to Dr. Snipes, if he has some time?" She told the friendly voice, feeling butterflies line her stomach.

"Ahh, miss Campbell. One moment please, I'll check." The person on the other end sounded like her call had been expected, it puzzled her slightly. She didn't have time to contemplate what exactly that meant before the voice was back. "He'll talk to you now, just hang on while I transfer your call." The line went silent for a few more seconds, then a familiar voice sounded over it.

"Naomi, I've been waiting for you to call." He sounded excited. "How are you?"

"Hi Wes." She put real warmth into her voice, pleased that he had time to listen to her. "I'm good, thanks. You?" She fiddled with the card, trying to figure out where to start to tell him what he wanted to hear.

"I'm good too, but that's not why you called." He answered knowingly. "Have you figured it out yet?"

"I think I have, but that's not really why I called." She took a deep breath and just jumped into it. "Emily is here. I mean, actually here, not just in my flickers." She paused again.

"I see. And has anything changed?" She could almost see his face before her, picture the look on his face.

"I still have the flickers, if that's what you mean… But yes, some things have changed." She raked her fingers through her still damp hair.

"And what are those things?" He sounded interested. "Is it about the flickers, or is there some other aspect that has changed?"

"Well, Emily and I have a date later today." She looked at the clothes on her bed again, smiling.

"Congratulation." She could hear the grin in his voice. "Let me guess, you're wondering how to tell her?"

"Yeah. I just want to do it right, you know? You see, every time I'm around her these days, there is this flicker that wants to come out, but I won't let it. I feel like I can't risk it." She looked down at her feet.

"You feel like if you tell her, you can lose her." She nodded, not remembering that he wasn't in front of her and couldn't see her, he continued anyways. "You haven't had one in her presence before and you want to know what would happen if you did. You want to know how she would react, if it were to come out."

"Exactly. But it's more then that. It's growing, I can feel stuff being added to it the more I'm around her. It's starting to get a bit…" She let it trail off, not really finding the words to explain it.

"Frustrating?" He chuckled.

"That sounds about right." She laughed too, feeling relieved. It was nice talking to someone who seemed to understand exactly what she was getting at.

"Well, all I can really offer you at this point is some friendly advice." He said, his voice sounding more serious.

"Lay it on me, Doc." She grinned, picturing the look on his face again.

"I agree that this isn't something you should rush into, Naomi." She tried to protest. "However…" He cut her off. "I think that the choice will soon be taken away from you. From what little you've described, it sounds like it's building up, getting ready to explode. Sooner or later, it's going to come spilling out."

"How long do you think I can keep it in?" She asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I'm not sure. I'll tell you what, I'm going to give you an appointment here in a week. You can come in and talk to me face to face." She could hear him clicking away at his computer, finding an opening. "Here we are, Thursday next week at three." He took a deep breath. "I want you to bring Emily."

"What? How the hell do I explain that?" She asked angrily.

"Naomi… Do you really think you can hold it in much longer?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I'm just offering you to be there when you explain it to her. If you have a flicker in front of her before that, just call me and we'll set up an emergency appointment. I'll give you my direct number."

"So what you're trying to say… Is that there is no right way to do this?" She sighed, not quite knowing how to respond to all of it.

"Of course there is." He answered, she knew he wouldn't tell her what exactly the right approach would be.

"So next week, huh?" She asked.

"Don't worry, I'll send you a text on the number you're calling from with the details. That way you have my cell number in case you want to talk some more down the line." She could hear the grin in his voice.

"Alright. It was nice talking to you again, Doc." She smiled.

"You too, Naomi. Now, remember… You still owe me a talk on what the flickers are. We'll compare notes when I see you, how does that sound?" Naomi just shook her head slightly, wondering why he always had to be so damn cryptic.

"Sounds good." She answered, making sure her annoyance was shining through. The slight chuckle at the other end, told her she'd succeeded. "Alright then, Doc. I should probably go. I have a date to prepare for." She smiled at the thought of Emily.

"Have fun, Naomi. I'll see you soon." He hung up before she had a chance to say goodbye. She sat there for a while, looking at her phone. A few minutes later, a new message came through.

Good luck on your date. Remember, Thursday at 3.  
Just do what comes naturally, you'll know when it's time.  
Like you told me your flickers told you once:

Be brave.

-Wes.

* * *

**Yes yes, we'll get to the actual date in the next chapter. I promise not to let Cook screw it up too badly *grins* **

**And yes, Wes is annoying, I know, I wrote the damn guy like that. :P**


	28. With a little help

**A/N: Sorry about the delay... It just wouldn't flow right. Still not sure it did. Oh well, it's here now. Feel free to rant and scream and just generally chew me out in the reviews. :D**

**Chapter 27: With a little help.**

"Will you stop pacing!" Effy yelled at her for the tenth time. Naomi stopped by the window and looked out. "Thank you." She heard Effy say behind her. The words had registered somewhere in her, but she wasn't really paying attention to anything other then the rolling clouds outside.

"It's going to rain." She sighed, Effy ignored her. "It's going to fuck up everything." She leaned her forehead on the windowpane, watching as her breath fogged it up. Lifting her hand up, she traced the letter E on to it and leaned back. She checked her watch again, desperately wanting time to go just a little bit faster, it had only been about thirty seconds since the last time she checked. "I think my watch is broken." She mumbled to herself, scowling at it, she started pacing again.

Effy sighed and got off the couch, stopping Naomi with an outstretched arm. "Listen to me." The grip on Naomi's shoulder tightened. "This is ridiculous, you love her. She loves you too. It's just a date and even if it fails spectacularly, which it won't…" She added quickly, seeing the look of pure panic Naomi was sure just flittered across her face. "She's still going to be just as head over heels in love with you."

"You don't know that." Naomi answered quietly. "You don't know she loves me." She refused to meet Effy's eyes. "And even if she did… Once I tell her about the flickers, she's going to run screaming in the other direction. She'll probably have me committed or something."

"So don't tell her tonight." Effy said back, just as softly. "And she does love you, even a blind man can see it."

"But I don't know how much longer I can keep it from her. Every time I'm around her, it keeps pushing and pushing… It feels like I'm about to explode." Naomi sighed, rubbing a hand across her eyes. She felt Effy gently tug her hand away.

"Look at me." She reluctantly lifted her eyes to Effy's. "Don't worry so much about it. You are going to be fine, Emily is going to be fine and the date will be the best date either of you have ever been on." She felt strangely calm. The words coming out of Effy's mouth had very little to with it, it was the certainty in her eyes that convinced her.

"Well, the date part of that statement is easy to fulfil at least…" Effy quirked an eyebrow. "I've never really been on a date before, I have nothing to compare it to." She admitted, grinning back at Effy who was suddenly sporting a smirk. "Oh, like you have." She rolled her eyes playfully, but didn't miss the way Effy's smirk seemed to drop just a little. "She'll come to her senses, Eff." She said, her heart dropping a little at the weak nod Effy gave her. "What was it you said? Oh yes…" She cleared her throat. "She loves you, even a blind man can see it." She grinned.

"That sounded nothing like me." Effy snorted, shaking her head slightly, but the smile on her face had grown again and Naomi patted herself on the back. "And you look like a dork when you do that." Effy moved passed her and slumped down on the couch again.

Naomi went back to the window, back to staring at the rolling clouds in the horizon. They seemed to be a bit closer now, but she wasn't sure. She hoped the hurried call to Cook, the insistence on his part that he would take care of it, would have some result. She glanced at her watch and was pleasantly surprised that another 5 minutes had passed. It was almost time. Her hands fiddled nervously with the hem of her shirt, smoothed down the fabric, before flying up to her hair.

"You look great, stop fiddling." She looked at Effy, she was reading a magazine, not really paying attention to her at all.

"How do you do that?" She muttered, before starting to pace again. She really wasn't interested in an answer and she knew she wouldn't get one. At least not a real one

"Magic." Effy replied lazily, Naomi snorted.

"Is this your way of telling me you should have been at Hogwarts?" Naomi replied, grinning at the way Effy's lips actually twitched in amusement.

"Go back to watching the clouds, nerd-whisperer." She shot back, her gaze still firmly on the magazine.

Naomi was watching her turn the page when she saw the flash of red, she turned in it's direction and missed Effy looking up at her. She let her eyes scan the outside for a second, convinced that Emily might have turned up, that somehow they got their wires crossed and she thought she was picking up Naomi. Her heart rate sped up, before she forced herself to relax as she felt the damn familiar feeling of something wanting to get out.

_***Flicker*** She trailed a finger down Emily's spine, there was barely any light in the tent, but it was enough to see the goose bumps forming on Emily's arms. She watched the tiny hairs rise, heard the intake of breath as she got the tailbone._

_"What are you doing?" She heard her whisper. She didn't answer, just shifted her body closer to Emily's. Her hand retraced it's path, going back up, brushing away hair when fingers reached it. She let her lips ghost along the newly uncovered skin at the nape of her neck. "Naomi." It comes out more as a sigh, she smiles into the warm skin beneath her lips, her insides tingling from hearing her name spoken like that._

_Emily shifted, she could feel muscles flexing under her hand, skin slide under her lips. She rolls back a bit to give her the space to actually be able to roll over and face her, her hands never leave her. She needs some kind of connection between them, finds that with Emily moving like she does, her hands are her only option._

_Brown eyes sparkles suddenly in front of her, she feels a hand slowly making it's way up the arm that's now clasped around Emily's waist and cup her face. A thumb traces her lips, she sees the brown eyes follow it's movement, lets her tongue dart out and taste. Dark eyes grow darker, the swirling want in them getting more pronounced, she smiles softly as lips cover the her own, trapping the thumb between them._

_The world fades, no, her world gets condensed. There is only Emily. The way she tastes, the feel of her skin under her fingers as she pushes the t-shirt up, the warmth radiating from her, the way she feels pressed up against her, a hand tugging her hair, tongues meeting. She can hear her heartbeat, feel it speed up as the thumb gets replaced by a tongue. She's not quite sure where she ends and Emily starts._

_The kiss breaks with a soft sigh, she's not sure if it's both of them making the noise or if just herself. It all feels slightly unreal, she's still a little high from the magic mushrooms. Her eyes follows the way Emily is biting her lip, it's all she can see when she is suddenly pushed backwards on to her back. Or at least that was the intention, but her back connects with another body._

_She quickly changes the direction they're rolling in and pushes Emily onto her back instead, covering Emily's mouth with her hand, eyes nervously darting towards the living, breathing mound at the other end of the tent. They lay there for a few seconds, listening as JJ shifts in his sleep. At least Naomi hopes it's in his sleep._

_She let's out a quiet groan, burying her face in Emily's neck. The body underneath her is shaking, she lifts her head up and searches Emily's face, finding sparkling eyes filled with mirth. She lifts her hand and hears the stifled giggle, it makes her smile. ***Flicker***_

It took her a moment for her eyes to refocus, her forehead is leaned against the cool surface of the window. Pushing herself upright, her eyes fall on the E she drew earlier, before seeing beyond it and out onto the now grey skies. It's definitely going to rain, she groans quietly and checks her watch. It's almost time.

"Where did you go?" Effy asked her softly, a hand suddenly resting on Naomi's shoulder. The touch comforts her, makes it seem just a little more bearable that it wasn't real. She shook her head, trying to clear the fog that lingered in there.

"Camping." She answered, turning around with a smirk on her face. Effy looked annoyed for a split second, before she began to laugh.

She was still laughing when Naomi's phone finally rang. Hurriedly, Naomi fumbled with it, trying to get her hands to work long enough to push the right goddamn button. "Hello." She managed to get out, relief flooding her.

"Naomikins!" Cook's voice boomed, sounding pleased. "I've got the cure for all your problems!" He chuckled at his own lame joke.

"Funny Cook." She said in an even tone, making him chuckle even more. "Does that mean you managed to…" She got interrupted.

"Are you doubting the Cookiemonster? That hurts, that does!" She could practically see the fake pout on his face, she grinned. "I got it all, Blondie. I should be there in about 5 minutes, plenty of time before we pick up Emilio. Don't worry about the rain either, I took care of it." She frowned.

"Are you trying to tell me you're God or something? Just how exactly did you take care of the rain." She scrounged her face up and looked at Effy, Effy just shrugged and grinned.

"Of course I'm a God! In bed!" Laughter filled her ears, it made her wince and hold the phone away from her. Effy laughed lightly behind her back, Naomi turned to her and rolled her eyes, indicating to the phone. Effy shook her head and motioned for her to talk to Cook who seemed to be talking again.

"…so now we've got that up, I'm gonna let them set up the rest and come get you now. Sound good?" She had no idea what he just said, she took a moment to figure out if she should tell him she hadn't been listening, or just trust that he haven't fucked up too badly. "Naomi?" His voice drew her back out of her head.

"Yeah, sounds good Cook." She answered a bit half-heartedly, he didn't seem to mind. Effy chuckled quietly behind her, Naomi rolled her eyes at her again.

"I'll be right there, Blondie. Your girl's gonna love it!" He hung up before she had a chance to tell him that Emily wasn't her girl. Well, not technically at least. Maybe after tonight though, a small smile danced on her lips at the thought.

She was out the door before Cook even had the chance to park properly, Effy running after her with an umbrella under her arm. She shot her a grateful look before getting in the car, taking the umbrella with her. Cook had obviously made an effort, hair tamed and wearing a suit. It looked ridiculous on him, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him that though, his shit-eating grin was nearly splitting his face in two.

"You look like you're about to faint, Blondie, relax." He sounded too amused, she hated him just a little bit at that moment.

"Fuck you too, Cook." She told him, lacing her voice with sweetness. "Let's just go." She scowled out of the window, not looking at him.

"I'm just messing with you. You look great." He was obviously trying to soothe her nerves, she let him. "So, you want to go see what we set up?" She was aware of him trying to read her, she cast a glance on her watch.

"Alright, show me." She said with a nod. He grinned at her again, turning the car around.

They drove in near complete silence, only exchanging the odd comment about things they passed, the weather, trivial things. Naomi could feel her nerves trying to run rampant in her, she pushed them down, telling herself it was only Emily. The voice in her head kept reminding her just how much she did have to worry about, however. Reminding her that Emily could never be 'only' Emily, that she would almost mean more. That thought reminded her of her early flickers, of the fear she felt in herself in them. She had to keep telling herself that things were different, that she wanted this. She got lost in her own thoughts, not realizing that the car had stopped and the scenery outside her window had suddenly turned green. The sudden knock on her window made her jump.

"Come on Blondie." She heard Cook tell her, the sound muffled through the glass. She drew a deep breath and got out of the car. "I was a bit worried about that." He pointed up towards the sky where the grey clouds still rolled. "So I got some help."

"Help?" She looked at him, confused. "What do you mean help?" He grinned and dragged her up the hill until she could see a large white something. She stopped dead in her tracks as two people came out of it, waving at them. Cook tugged at her, impatiently.

"It's been in Freds' shed for a while, but it aired out quite nice. Only we couldn't figure out how to put it up, so we had to call in the boy genius." He explained, still dragging her towards the weirdly shaped thing at the top of the hill. "There was a slight problem with some of the poles being bent, but we straightened them out as much as we could." They reached the thing that turned out to be a party tent of sorts, only it looked slightly lopsided. Freddie grinned at her, while JJ awkwardly waved at her again.

"Umm…" She couldn't quite find the words to say, it looked a bit ridiculous. Cook didn't seemed deterred though, dragging her around to the other side.

"See? We put in a bunch of pillows and some blankets. And we figured that while I drove you to Emily's, these two could set up some candles and crap." He was beaming along with the other two. She had to admit that this side of it looked better. The side of the tent was open here and directed at the view below.

"We couldn't figure out if we wanted to set it up over the bench or not, this seemed to be the best solution. Unless you want something else, then we will of course try our best to right the horrible mistake and…"

"JJ!" Three sets of voices shouted.

"Right." JJ muttered. "Locked on." He took a deep breath and composed himself. "What I was trying say was that we can move it."

"Thanks, but I think this is perfect." Naomi answered with a smile. The boys grinned, obviously pleased with themselves, Naomi fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"Told you I'd take care of the rain." Cook said, eyes twinkling. "Now, let's go get the only thing missing with this picture, and I'm not talking about food…" He grinned, before turning and basically sauntering down the slope towards the car. Naomi shot an apologetic stare to the other two.

"I kinda have to go with him, he's my ride… But thank you so much for this." She gestured to the tent again, it was looking better by the second. She pulled them both into a hug, which left JJ spluttering and Freddie rubbing his neck again.

"Umm… No problem Naomi. We'll stay until we see you and Emily. Make sure no one else spots it and decides to just… You know… Take advantage." He grinned at her, Naomi smiled back and made her way to Cook's car.

Fifteen minutes later she stood in front of Emily's door, desperately trying to calm her breathing. "Just ring the fucking doorbell already. Stop being such a weirdo." She muttered to herself. One last look at Cook who was grinning and motioning her to go on, she raised her hand and pushed the button. She listened as the sound reverberated throughout the house, hoping Emily would be the one to answer the door. Her hopes were dashed abruptly when the door opened.

"Bloody fucking hell, no wonder Emily is a dyke!" Naomi blinked at what looked like an empty hallway and shifted her eyes down. The grin on James Fitch's face was almost as lecherous as any grin she had seen Cook make, the only difference was an innocence to it all that almost made her laugh. Before she had a chance to respond, Katie appeared behind him and smacked him over the head.

"Fucking pervert." She muttered. "Go find dad and tell him what you said." She glared at him.

"But Katie…" He whined, eyes large in an attempt at looking apologetic. Naomi grinned.

"No buts! You tell him what you said, or I will." She crossed her arms and continued staring him down. Naomi watched him stomp down the hallway, grumbling to himself about someone called Gordon McPherson and dykes.

"Sorry about him." Katie said. "He's not been quite right since that time me and Emily was supposed to watch him and he fell on his head from the highchair." She smirked, looking rather pleased with herself.

"Ehh, right…" Naomi answered, not quite knowing what to say to that.

"EMILY!" Katie suddenly screamed, making Naomi jump slightly. "NAOMI'S HERE!" She turned back to Naomi and said conspiratorially. "She's been shitting bricks for the last three hours, pacing like a bloody zoo animal and snapping at anyone that tried talking to her."

"I know the feeling." Naomi mumbled sheepishly with a small blush on her face, making Katie's smile deepen.

"You two are beyond cute some times." She said, shaking her head. "I'm sure she'll be down in a sec." Before she was done speaking, the creaking stairs alerted them to someone coming down them.

Naomi could feel her heartbeat pick up and time slow down. She was vaguely aware of Katie saying something, but her only focus was on the legs, hips, stomach, breasts, neck, mouth, nose and eyes that never left her own, slowly appearing in front of her. She saw Katie throw up her arms and stalk away out of the corner of her eye. She could feel the tension of the last few hours roll off and leave her.

"Hey." She said softly, reaching out and pulling Emily closer to her, their bodies were almost touching. She could feel the warmth radiating between them, it felt good.

"Hey yourself." Emily answered just as softly, smiling up at her. She stepped closer and Naomi could feel her breath hitch as a hand snaked it's way up her back and into her hair, pulling her down. She knew she was loosing herself in Emily's eyes, knew she should say or do something, but let her mind drift slightly and met her lips.

The damn flicker started building again, she wanted to scream, but pushed both the scream and the flicker down. Concentrating on Emily's lips instead, on tightening the hold she had on her. A soft moan from Emily made her remember where she was, she reluctantly drew away, breathing erratic. The effect Emily had on her, amazed her. She opened her eyes slowly, not really knowing when she had closed them.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked shakily, pushing a strand of hair behind Emily's ear, smiling at her. Emily looked up at her again, there was so much emotion in her eyes. She could see that Emily was trying to read her too and it took all she had to keep her flicker firmly down.

"Yeah, I just need to go tell my dad I'm leaving." The smile on Emily's face slipped a little when she turned away and walked towards the back of the house. Naomi frowned, wondering if she'd done something wrong, she couldn't think of anything though. Before she had too much time to worry, she saw Emily moving back towards her. She slipped her hand into hers and intertwined their fingers as soon as she was close enough.

"You look amazing." Naomi said sincerely, gaining an ear-splitting smile in return.

"You don't look so bad yourself." Emily husked in to her ear, sending a shiver down Naomi's spine. The smile was back on her face and Naomi decided to just let the small slip earlier go. She grinned at Emily, before practically dragging her out the door.

"What's he doing here?" Emily had frozen halfway down the driveway, staring at Cook. Naomi followed her eyes and watched as Cook took one last drag of his cigarette, throwing it to the ground and grinning widely at them.

"He's our driver." Naomi almost laughed at the look on Emily's face, but kissed the side of her head instead. Emily looked up at her, sceptically. "No, he's not part of the surprise." Naomi answered before Emily had a chance to ask.

"Are you two gonna stand there all day?" Cook bellowed. "Come on my lovely little rug-munchers, your carriage awaits." Naomi dragged a reluctant Emily the rest of the way and fixed Cook with an annoyed stare.

"Such a charmer Cook." She said sweetly, before punching him hard in the shoulder. His shit-eating grin faltered slightly into a grimace, but was back within moments. "Come on, let's go." She opened the car door for Emily and smiled gently at her.

"Thank you." Emily murmured, smiling back. Her eyes were blazing into Naomi's, as if they were trying to unearth some deep, dark secret. Naomi could feel the flicker sort of twisting inside her, looking for a way out. She froze momentarily, not knowing what the hell was going on. Emily's soft hand on hers, shook her out of it. She blinked a couple of times and watched Emily get in, following as soon as she had closed the door and gone around the car.

The weather finally broke with a bang. Thunder rolled in the distance as the first few raindrops hit the cars windshield. Cook was chattering away up front, but Naomi couldn't take her eyes off Emily and had no idea what he was talking about. She could feel her heart fluttering whenever Emily glanced at her, feel the goofy grin on her face whenever Emily smiled at her. She reached out and took Emily's hand, remembering that she could, her eyes drifted back front and she caught Cook winking at her in the mirror. She smiled back at him and felt Emily squeeze her hand lightly.

"So…" Emily started, stroking her thumb in circles over Naomi's hand. "Where are we going? Or is it still a surprise?" Naomi opened her mouth to answer, but Cook beat her to it.

"Still a surprise, Red. And a bloody good one." He grinned as Naomi shook her head.

"He helped." Naomi answered the unasked question on Emily's face. "Gave me time to pace around and annoy the heck out of Effy." Emily laughed, making Naomi grin too.

"Seems it's going around." Emily told her, squeezing her hand again. "I did the same thing to Katie." She frowned a little. "I don't know why though, I mean, you're you and…" She let it trail off, but Naomi knew how she felt, she felt it too. She smiled gently at her again, wanting to tell her without actually telling her.

"If you two lovebirds are done making mooneyes at each other, we're here." Cook said, saving Naomi from formulating some sort of response. She cleared her throat and regretfully let go of Emily's hand.

"You just sit right there." She told her. "I'll go get the door for you."

"Umm, I can get the door myself, you know. I do know how a handle works." Emily replied, her lips quirking.

"I know that, smart ass, I'm trying to be romantic." Naomi answered, her eyebrow lifting slightly in a silent challenge. "So don't move until I come get you." Cook laughed, as Emily just sort of huffed, she still had a smile on her face though.

Naomi grabbed the umbrella, opening it before she even got fully out of the car. The rain wasn't too heavy, just a drizzle, the clouds were black above her though, promising there would be more. She hoped the ramshackle tent the boys had put up, would hold. She opened Emily's door with a dazzling smile, extending her hand to her. She saw the wonder in Emily's eyes at the gesture and smiled deeper, she wanted to be the cause of that look for the rest of her life. The thought scared her slightly, but made her insides soar.

"So your idea of romance is calling your date a smart ass?" Emily questioned, teasingly, as she took Naomi's hand and exited the car. "You do that with all your dates, or am I special?"

"What other dates?" She answered, looking down at Emily, fighting the urge to blush. Emily opened her mouth a couple of times, clearly not knowing what to say. "Come on, we're going for a nice little walk around the park and then we'll see what pops up." She grinned at Cook over Emily's head and he nodded, smirking back at her.

"But it's raining…" Emily protested as Naomi dragged her along the path. "…and it looks like it's getting worse." The sound of thunder rolling in the background became more pronounced. Naomi just smiled and hooked their arms together.

"A little rain never killed anyone, Ems." She grinned when she saw the grimace on Emily's face. As if her words were a cue, the heavens decided to really let loose. "Although I could be wrong…" She said with a grimace of her own, pulling Emily closer and hopefully out of the rain.

They walked in silence, she didn't know what to say. It felt awkward, but it also felt wonderful. She cast small glances at Emily, reminding herself that she was real, this was real. The flicker was swirling in her head, adding to the knowledge that she wouldn't suddenly be ripped out of this world, a world were Emily really was there. The arm she had used to take Emily's shifted, snaked around Emily's waist instead, she wanted to feel more of her. She smiled down at her, adjusting the umbrella, listening to the steady pounding of the rain and the sigh the gesture brought from Emily's lips.

"Where are we going?" Emily asked, her own arm snaking around Naomi's waist too. She was looking around the park with interest, Naomi could see the wheels turning in her head, trying to figure out what they were doing here.

"You'll see." Naomi shifted her arm up to around Emily's shoulders, drawing her even closer. She fit perfectly, like she was made for it. The thought made her place a small kiss on Emily's head, on her red hair. "We're almost there." The words held a double meaning for her, but she knew that it would take more then one date to give her the courage to tell her, to show her. It would, however, only take a few meters more to get to their destination.

"Are we going up there? Up to that white blob with the people?" Naomi looked up from Emily at her words and saw the slightly less lopsided tent, it looked like JJ and Freddie had tried to straighten the poles more and succeeded. They were standing there, obviously looking for them, both under umbrellas of their own. Cook was with Freddie, pointing them out and giving them a small wave, the three of them left before they were halfway up the hill.

"Where are the people going?" Emily asked, not realizing who they were. "And why did they leave when they saw us?"

"Did you want an audience? I can call and get them back if you want." Naomi answered as they got even closer, sure that Emily could make out that it was a tent now. "I wanted to surprise you… It was supposed to be a simple picnic, but…" She trailed off as another round of thunder rolled in the distance. "The weather obviously didn't want what I wanted." She chuckled weakly, wondering if she had made the wrong decision.

"You did this for me?" Emily asked, wonder in her voice, her arm clutching Naomi tighter. The tent in front of them was illuminated despite the early dark from the clouds, candles lighted standing a safe distance from the canvas. Pillows and blankets on the ground, a basket standing discretely in a corner. It looked like something out of a fairytale.

"Of course it's for you." She wanted to add something, wanted to tell her that all she had ever done, all she would ever do, would always be for Emily, but couldn't find the words. She lead Emily inside instead, placing the umbrella on the inside of the tent. Emily looked around the space, eyes glowing in the candlelight, she looked breathtaking to Naomi. She led her deeper into the tent, tugging her down to the blankets.

"This is…" Emily seemed to struggle for words. "I mean, no one has ever…" She looked up at Naomi. "Thank you, it's wonderful."

"Stay there." Naomi said and hurried to the basket, dragging it with her to where Emily was sitting and plopped unceremoniously down next to her. "Do you want something to drink? A snack maybe? I didn't know what you'd want, so I have soft drinks, juice, beer, vodka…" She trailed off as she opened the basket. "And apparently champagne… How the hell did that end up in there?"

"There's a note." Emily said, taking the bottle from Naomi and turning it around to show her. "It says 'Enjoy', see?" Naomi looked down at the post-it, noting the unmistakable scrawl that could only mean one thing.

"Effy." Naomi stated, shaking her head with a smile. "I should have known she was planning something. Oh well, let's open it." She grinned at Emily and looked down into the basket again, looking for glasses. "Looks like she thought of everything…" She mumbled, pulling out a couple of plastic champagne flutes.

"How did you do all this?" Emily asked as Naomi was trying to open the bottle.

"I had help, Freddie and JJ for the tent… And Cook I suppose… And Cook brought the basket up when we took the long way around." She looked up at Emily, smiling softly. "Sorry about that, by the way. I just wanted to give him some time to get here. I had no idea it would start raining like that." Her eyes drifted across Emily's body, making sure she wasn't drenched from the water pouring down outside. She looked ok though, her sleeve a little damp maybe. She frowned.

"I didn't mind the walk. It was nice." Naomi could practically see the words she didn't say, could still feel the faint traces of Emily's warmth along her side. Emily cleared her throat, cheeks faintly red. "Are you going to open that? Or are you waiting for it to pop on it's own?" It came out throaty, with a hint of a challenge. Naomi looked down at the bottle she had momentarily forgot and handed it wordlessly to Emily, their eyes connecting.

"Knock yourself out." She said after a while, after finding her own voice, Emily hadn't taken her eyes off her.

"Huh?" Emily blinked, looking down at the bottle, a puzzled frown on her face. "Oh! Right." She smiled sheepishly at Naomi, before uncorking the bottle with a pop.

"Show off." Naomi muttered affectionately, smiling as she brought the glasses up for Emily to fill.

"You love it." Emily grinned, looking away from Naomi, missing the subtle intake of air from the other as she filled the glasses. "So…" She continued, oblivious. "A toast, maybe?" She gave one of the glasses to Naomi and raised her own towards her.

"Right… Erm." Naomi answered, scrunching up her face, trying to think of something. "To first dates?"

"To first dates." Emily echoed with more certainty. "The first of many, I hope." She smiled.

"Not satisfied with just one? I should have known you would be high maintenance." Naomi countered, raising her own glass up to touch Emily's. She smiled, dropping the teasing tone in her voice to one with more sincerity in it. "To the first of many." Her smile turned into a face of disgust with her first sip. "God, I hate this stuff." She shuddered as she swallowed, Emily laughed.

"It's not really good, no." She answered. "But the thought was good, though."

* * *

She walked through the doors at home 6 hours later, the smile on her face feeling like it was going to stay forever. "Honey, I'm home!" She shouted, knowing Effy would still be up. She went straight to the kitchen, not bothering taking off her dripping wet coat.

"You're home early." The voice was dripping with disinterest, Naomi chuckled. Effy looked up over the magazine she was pretending to read. "Jesus, Naomi, looks like you were dragged head first through a fucking river."

"Aww, thanks. You look good too. You want tea?" Naomi shot back, knowing that the longer she held back, the more frustrated Effy would become and the more hints that she wanted to know what had happened would surface.

"I wouldn't say no." Effy answered. "What happened to the umbrella? Too hard to figure out how it opens?" Naomi ignored her, filling the kettle with water instead of answering. "If that shit eating grin is anything to go by, I take it things went well?"

"A lady never kisses and tells." Naomi replied airily, quirking an eyebrow at Effy, silently challenging her.

"Fine!" Effy huffed. "Naomi, would you please sit the fuck down and tell me about your date?" She batted her eyelashes. "And after we can braid each others hair and paint each others toenails." Naomi laughed.

"Since you asked so nicely…" She grinned at the eye roll her words got her. "You've spent far too much time with me, you know." She shook her head. "Anyways, we had a few drinks, some food, talked a little, kissed a little." She waggled her eyebrows at the last one, earning a smirk. "And no, I didn't tell her. It didn't go beyond kissing and the real reason I look like a drowned cat, is all the musketeers fault. Fucking tent kinda imploded." She waved her hand, dismissing the look of amusement on Effy's face. "Doesn't matter, I walked her home, kissed her good night and came home. End of."

"Let's back up a bit. You're telling me there was a tent, you two were alone and you expect me to believe that you didn't… ahh… take advantage of that? You two have so much unresolved sexual tension that you could light up a city." Effy raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"I… um… we…" Naomi blushed, remembering the feel of Emily's skin under her skin. The look in Emily's eyes, the feel of her hands under her shirt, trailing fire over smooth skin. Effy cleared her throat. "What? Oh, ehh…" She blushed again. "I think we would have, what were the words you used, taken advantage of the situation… But being doused with God knows how many litres of water, kinda puts a damper on things…"

"So that's why you 'kissed her goodnight' for about 30 minutes outside her door." Effy smirked.

"How did you…" Her eyes fell on Effy's phone, till on the table. "Katie! I'm going to kill that…" Naomi grumbled.

"Shut up and make me some tea."

* * *

**There you go, brand new chapter.**

**Sorry about the lack of actual date, but as I've said... It wouldn't flow. It didn't matter what I did, so in the end... This was the best solution (Or we'd be sitting here another month, waiting for an update... I'm sure no one wanted that.)**

**Happy new year people :D**


	29. To lose control

**A/N: What can I say about this one... Hmm... Well, I suppose I should tell you all that this is all Emily. Every last word is in her POV. And I should perhaps warn you that there will be... a smut attempt in this one. **

**Anyways, enjoy, see you on the other side of it.**

**Chapter 28: To lose control.**

Emily sighed, her gaze falling on the empty bed on the other side of the room. The clock on her bedside table mocked her with its bright numbers. It had been three days since her and Naomi's official first date, three days of interruptions. Three days of Naomi telling her all about herself, of Emily returning it. She smiled softly into the dark room, remembering all the small touches and all the bigger ones. Her eyes fell on the empty bed again and she sighed again. She wanted Katie to be there, wanted to ask her about the wall she saw in Naomi's eyes, but Katie wasn't plagued with the same interruptions her and Naomi were. She got to crawl into bed with her girlfriend at night, while Emily got to be alone in their room, got to explain to their father why Katie wasn't here in the mornings. Some things never change.

She couldn't shake the feeling that Naomi was holding back, hiding something. It made her insides clench just thinking about it. That was why she was staring longingly at the empty bed across from her, she wanted to talk to Katie about it. Not that Katie would have anything useful to say, but she needed to unload it all on someone, anyone. She sighed a third time and got out of bed.

The house was eerily quiet, no James stomping up and down the stairs, poking his head into rooms or shouting crude remarks at the top of his lungs. No Katie yelling about make up or clothes, no clicks of high heels on the floor. No dad, entertaining them with stories about the patrons of his gym, or babbling something about the newest piece of equipment he'd dreamt up. There was just a ticking from the grandfather clock in the hallway, the faint sounds of snoring, probably from her father's room and the sound of her own bare feet on the floor.

She sat at the kitchen table, absentmindedly tracing the beads of condensation on the glass of water in front of her. The sky was breaking outside the window, her eyes on the cracks in the clouds, the approaching dawn. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, didn't turn to check the clock on the wall behind her, lost in contemplating what Naomi could be hiding. She knew it was something big, it was almost always followed by a flash of fear.

"What are you afraid of Naomi?" She whispered to the room. Sighing, she got up to put the glass in the sink. She stood there leaning over it when it happened. Hands were suddenly ghosting over her hips, her head flipped around in an instant, but the kitchen was empty. The hands were still there though, tracing patterns on her stomach, the feeling of lips on her neck. She closed her eyes and could almost see Naomi behind her, whispering words she could almost hear, but not quite. A small gasp fell from her mouth as the lips on her neck made their way to her face, nipping at the corner of her mouth.

Her eyes flew open again, it seemed so real, like Naomi was right there with her. A single word drifted through the constant whispering she couldn't hear. "Emily!" She felt her insides constrict, her heart skip a beat. She could hear it, whispered with reverence, with love. Her mind was made up before she even made it out of the kitchen. She knew exactly what she was going to do, she was going to get Naomi to tell her what she was hiding. Whatever it took.

She didn't waste any time, didn't bother showering, just threw on some clothes and walked out the door. Left a note for her dad, telling him something about a breakfast with Effy and Naomi, that Katie would be there too. It wasn't a lie, not really.

She was smiling as she walked, she always smiled when she knew she was going to see Naomi, or when she thought about her, or someone mentioned her name. She knew what it meant, knew that this had progressed so much further then a crush, so much deeper then lust. Not that there wasn't a healthy dose of that too. The smile turned into a smirk, she could feel her eyebrow raising and knew that if she had been speaking, her voice would have dropped.

Maybe it had always been more, she frowned slightly, trying to gather her thoughts. Trying to remember a time since she first looked into Naomi's eyes that she hadn't been thinking about her, hadn't wondered. She drew a blank. Maybe there was no maybe about it.

She was still deep in her head when she rounded the corner, her eyes falling , as it had so many times in the last few days, on the blue door that she wished she lived behind. Only this time, Naomi was already sitting on the outside, leaning against the doorframe, eyes closed. She looked perfect, even in a pair of old sweats and a tattered t-shirt. Her hair was a mess, sticking out in all directions, but the soft light of the dawn hit her just right and Emily could feel all the air in her lungs leave her. She wanted to drop to her knees, clutch at her chest and worship the vision in front of her. Wanted Naomi to open her eyes and see what she was sure would be blazing out of her own eyes. Love, pure unadulterated love.

Taking a shaky breath, she gave herself one moment to just look at her. Just file away all the little details of her face. She almost thought she was sleeping, but the small smile on her face, the finger tracing the rim of the coffee cup at her side, told her differently. She forced her legs to move, to get closer. The overwhelming need to touch, to see her eyes, to hear her speak, driving her forward. She was going to break through that wall today, there was no doubt in her mind about it.

"Fancy seeing you here." She said with a smile, almost close enough to stretch out a hand and touch her. Naomi's hand stopped tracing the cup, her head cocking slightly to the side. It was as if she was questioning if Emily was really here, not daring to open her eyes just yet. Emily was studying her face intently, wanting nothing more then for her to open her eyes. Naomi shifted her head up, cracking her eyelids just a fraction, the blue of her eyes barely visible. It all took less then a second, but it seemed like an eternity.

"It is rather odd, seeing as it's my house and all." Came the dry reply, but her eyes opened fully and the smile that was barely there before, stretched much wider. Emily fought the urge to reach out, to run her fingers through all that blond hair, she sat down beside her instead.

"Oh well, just one of those freak coincidences then. It's not like I knew you'd be here or anything." Naomi grinned at her and Emily felt her heart doing back flips. "Has nothing to with me wanting to see you or have breakfast with you." She slipped her hand into Naomi's, revelling in the feel of her skin against her own.

"Heaven forbid you should want to have breakfast with your girlfriend. That would just be all kinds of wrong." Naomi was still grinning at her, not knowing the effect of her words. 'Girlfriend', the word rang through her head, making the hair on the back of her neck try to stand, making it slightly harder to breathe. The fact that Naomi seemed to have no idea just how radiant she looked, only added to the feeling.

"And what makes you think I wasn't telling you the truth before?" She raised her eyebrow, watching as Naomi's smile grew slightly. "I could be here for Katie, come to drag her home by her hair for staying out all night. Or maybe I'm here to talk to Effy."

"The door's right behind you, don't let me stop you." Naomi's eyes were sparkling with mischief. "But there is only one thing though…" She let it trail off.

"And what's that Naomi?" She kept her words light, curious.

"Well… I can't really let you come in without a kiss." Naomi grinned at her fully again. "See, it's a new rule. Anyone here at this time of the morning, have to at least kiss one of the people living here." Her eyes casually flitted down to Emily's lips, before settling on her eyes again.

"Is that so…" Naomi nodded solemnly, as if it pained her to enforce it. Emily made a show of dipping her own eyes to Naomi's lips, of letting her tongue dance over her own, leaning just a little bit closer. Letting her voice drop down to a husk she knew would have Naomi shivering slightly. "Maybe I should give Effy a call then, so I can give her a kiss." She saw the shiver, just as she wanted, saw the words hit by the way Naomi's lips quirked slightly.

"Ahh, you could. But she's a bit… indisposed at the moment." The mock concern on Naomi's face almost had her laughing.

"Looks like there's only one option left then." She husked, watching as the blue eyes in front of her became just a little bit darker, the pupils dilating a fraction.

"Looks like." Naomi agreed, leaning forward a little. "Unless you want to wait for Effy to come out, I'm sure if we sit here long enough…" With one swift motion, Emily cut her off with her lips. It seemed like the best solution, otherwise they'd be sitting there for a while.

The burning feeling in the pit of her stomach intensified as Naomi got over the initial shock of it all and started kissing back. She could taste the coffee she had been drinking and something so uniquely Naomi it almost knocked her over. She wasn't sure how she managed it, but she was suddenly straddling the other girl, she was vaguely aware that the coffee cup had tipped over. The only thing that made sense to her at that moment, was the feel of Naomi's hands on her back, the tongue darting out deepening the kiss and the intense feeling of wanting more.

She could feel Naomi holding back, it was just tiny feeling in the back of her head, but she could feel it clearly. She pushed herself closer, trying to get her to let go, to make her lose control. The feeling wavered, as if it was balancing on the edge, she pushed harder. Naomi fell back against the door with a thud, taking Emily with her. Emily's hand was on the back of her head in an instant, checking for bumps. Before she could make sure, or break the kiss to ask if Naomi was ok, the door opened and they tumbled inwards.

"I so didn't need to see that." Katie huffed, looking down at them. They broke apart, reluctantly on Emily's part. She couldn't read Naomi, her eyes were still closed, she shifted her eyes up to Katie.

"Then you shouldn't have opened the door, should you?" She smirked and tried to untangle herself from Naomi, but Naomi was still holding on to her. She could feel her shaking slightly and looked back down with a frown, laughter bubbled up when she saw mirthful eyes looking back at her. Katie did what she usually did, threw up her hands and stalked into the kitchen.

"I know it's your house and all Naomi, but it's usually a good idea to invite people in before you jump them." Came a disinterested voice over their heads. Naomi laughed again under her and let go of the hold she had around Emily's waist. Emily sat up, but didn't leave Naomi's lap.

"You're right Eff, I should have at least waited until I was in the kitchen." Naomi sat up, wincing a little, rubbing the back of her head. Emily brought her hand over Naomi's, feeling the small lump, looking at her apologetically.

"Jesus, you make it sound like it's a regular thing. One time! And I thought you were in the shower. You, on the other hand, are giving the whole neighbourhood a show." Emily blushed, hiding her face on Naomi's shoulder. If it wasn't for the way Effy looked at her twin, she didn't know if she'd like her much.

"Not much of a show if no one is awake to see it." Naomi stated calmly, Emily could feel a hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. She inhaled deeply, letting Naomi's scent wash over her, before leaning back a bit to look at Effy.

"Besides, me and Naomi are much hotter then you and Katie. I'm sure the lucky few who did get to see anything will survive." She smirked at the crestfallen look on Effy's face, pleased to get a reaction out of her. Naomi started laughing, hugging her closer. The smirk fell into a soft smile as she looked down at the absolutely breathtaking sight.

Effy was saying something, but she couldn't make it out, too transfixed by the look on Naomi's face to really care. Naomi was answering though, the words made no sense, she couldn't make them make sense. She felt her shift underneath her and her own eyes drifted to the skin her neck. Unable to stop herself, she leaned back down and kissed the steady pulse she could see there, her tongue sneaking out to taste. Naomi shuddered underneath her, she could feel hands clutching the back of her shirt, gripping tighter. She was vaguely aware of Naomi saying something to her, but again the words were lost, all she felt was the soft breath near her ear.

"Emily." It's quiet, almost like a sigh, but it snapped her out of it. She leaned back and registered somewhere in the back of her mind that Effy has gone back in. The pained look on Naomi's face sobered her a little. She's panting slightly, her eyes screwed shut, a deep furrow on her forehead. Emily brought her hand up, slowly, tracing the furrow. It smoothes out almost the instant her hand made contact.

"Umm…" She cleared her throat, trying to get her heartbeat under control. "We should probably, you know, go inside." Naomi's eyes fluttered open, the fear was much heavier now. Emily fought the urge to frown, wanted nothing more then to ask her why. She took a deep breath instead and plastered on a smile. "Was that payment enough? Or should we try that again."

"What? Payment?" Naomi looked bewildered for a moment. "Oh, right." She laughed. "I think that's enough… For now." Smirking, she looked up at Emily.

"Promises, promises." Emily sighed, getting up. "Don't forget the cup." Her eyes drifted down, it was shattered on the ground. "Or… erm… what's left of it." She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Naomi's head, before walking in to the house.

* * *

Breakfast became lunch, lunch became beers in the garden and beers in the garden turned into calling the rest of the gang over. Calling the rest of the gang over, meant going home to change. Going home to change, meant standing at the foot of the stairs, tapping a foot and waiting for Katie to just hurry the fuck up.

"Katie! For fucks sake!" She looked at the clock, rolling her eyes. "KATIE!" She started pacing, contemplating if she should just leave without her. She wanted to get back to Naomi, it was ridiculous to miss someone after 45 minutes, but she did. She felt she was getting somewhere with her, there were these moments where it seemed like she was about to say something, but as usual, they got interrupted. "5 minutes without someone barging in, is that too much to ask?" She muttered.

"Talking to yourself, love?" Her dad laid a hand on her shoulder almost scaring her to death. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. You look nice by the way, going somewhere?" He smiled at her and she couldn't help smiling back. She'd missed him, while she was in London.

"Yeah, we're going to Naomi and Effy's. We're probably gonna go out later." She couldn't help smiling when she mentioned Naomi. He chuckled affectionately at her.

"You really like her, don't you? This Naomi, I mean." She nodded. "You should invite her for dinner. I want to meet her."

"Dad…" She tried thinking of an excuse, but came up blank. "It's a bit early for that, don't you think?" She glanced up at him and saw the soft smile on his face, the curiosity. "But I can ask her."

"Ask who what?" Came Katie's voice from behind her.

"Naomi's coming for dinner." Their dad said, a happy smile on his face. Katie's face fell a little, she tried covering it up, but he saw it. "Do you want to ask the person you're dating to come too?" She looked panicked for a second, he just chuckled. "I'm not stupid Katie, you haven't slept at home for the last few days and I caught you singing in the kitchen the other day."

"So I sang, doesn't mean I'm dating anyone." Katie said sullenly. Rob laughed.

"Sweetie, I'm not stupid. You're always out, you don't sleep at home and you're always happy." He stepped closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I just want to meet whoever put that sparkle in your eyes, love." He gathered her into a hug before she could say anything, Emily smiled at the sight.

"I don't know if you'll be hugging me when you see who it is, dad." She replied sadly, Emily's heart broke a little for her.

"As long as you're happy…" He opened up one arm and drew Emily into the embrace too. "As long as you're both happy, there is nothing more I can ask for. It doesn't matter who you bring home." He kissed them both affectionately on their heads. "Now scoot, get out of here. Go have fun!" He practically pushed them out the door, before either of them had the chance to say something.

Emily just turned and started walking, after a few steps she heard Katie follow. She slowed down a little, waiting for her to catch up. Katie wordlessly linked her arm with Emily, seemingly lost in her own little world. Emily didn't mind, her mind was off with the fairies too, if Naomi would classify as a fairy. A sudden image of Naomi, scantly clad in rag like green fabric and with wings, popped into her head. She chuckled quietly, shaking her head.

"Bad enough I got to deal with dad being all curious, now I have to deal with an insane sister too." Katie mumbled. "And could you make it more obvious who you're thinking about?" Emily glanced sideways at Katie, still grinning widely.

"Shut up, Katie. Your grin is almost identical when you think about Effy." Katie huffed, but a smile softened her face almost immediately. "And you should just tell dad. He's still gonna love you. Mum on the other hand… Well, that's not important." Katie's smile faltered slightly.

"I know I should tell people, but… I just… I want something that's mine, you know? Without people sticking their noses into it." She grimaced. "And mum can go fuck herself. I should have stuck up for you sooner. I'm sorry, Emsy, I really am."

"I know Katie. It's ok." She smiled at her sister. "And Effy will still be yours, even if you tell people about you two. Plus, you get to smack the people who hit on her around." Emily laughed at the delighted look that spread on Katie's face, she had been moaning enough about it over the past few days. Always going on about how she just had to stand there and watch as one after the other was hitting on her girlfriend, and how there was nothing she could do about it. Emily wasn't sure who Katie thought she was fooling, she looked like a thundercloud every time someone as much as looked at Effy the wrong way.

Still laughing, they reached the house and once again, Emily's heart stuttered when she saw the blonde outside. She was standing this time, casually leaning against the door with an unlit cigarette hanging from her lips. She didn't even register Effy on the other side, until she waved at Katie.

"Look at that Katie." She said loud enough to carry. "Our very own welcoming committee." She grinned at Naomi, who grinned widely back. She practically ran the rest of the way up, dragging Katie along.

"Oi, some of us have high heels on, bitch!" She heard Katie exclaim indignantly. She looked back briefly and saw the dazzling smile she had on her lips despite the insult, it was directed at Effy of course. She let go of her sister's arm and practically threw herself into Naomi's instead, burying her head in her hair, inhaling deeply.

"Miss me?" Naomi murmured quietly in her ear, tightening her hold. She could hear her heart beating wildly, almost as wildly as her own. She smiled, brushing her lips against a bare shoulder and listened to it speed up for a moment.

"Always." Emily murmured back, placing small butterfly kisses up her neck. She could feel Naomi sigh and smiled against the skin.

"If you two are done dry humping against the doorframe…" Katie huffed. Emily could feel the laughter bubbling in Naomi and reluctantly drew away a few inches, glaring at her twin. Effy chuckled from inside the door.

"Leave them alone Katie, I think it's kinda sweet that they can't keep their hands off each other." She smirked. Katie rounded on her.

"She's my fucking sister! It's creepy!" She whined, making Effy smirk just a little bit wider.

"Ladies! Party on the doorstep? I like it!" Cook suddenly came into view, throwing an arm around Effy's shoulders. "Of course, I wouldn't say no to a private party. Wanna go to your room, babe?" He leered at Effy, waggling his eyebrows. Emily barely registered the look of fury on Katie's face, the widening of Effy's eyes as she caught the same look.

"Oh crap." Emily muttered and felt Naomi tense. Cook kept grinning like an idiot, while the rest of them waited for the explosion.

"James Cook." Katie started, her voice eerily quiet. Cook turned his grin on her, still not getting it. She walked closer to him, looking up at him. "Get." She poked him in chest. "Your filthy." She poked him again, he stumbled backwards. "Hands." He looked confused. "Off." She was practically growling now. "MY girlfriend."

"Your what? Who?" He asked feebly, she ignored him and continued.

"My girlfriend." She pointed to Effy who stood there and looked at the display quite calmly. She looked pleased, Emily noted before Katie started up again. "Keep your hands OFF her. If you don't, I will tear your fucking balls off and feed them to you." Her nostrils flared. "Have I made myself clear?"

Cook stood there slack jawed for a second, before howling with laughter. He was completely oblivious to the arm Effy placed around Katie's waist, holding her back. "FREDDIE!" He suddenly yelled. "YOU OWE ME TWENTY QUID!" He grinned at Katie and Effy. "I told him you two were shagging." He scratched his head and practically skipped back into the house.

Naomi just shook her head and laughed, Emily joined her after a moment. Effy and Katie was just looking at each other. Effy cleared her throat, looking a bit embarrassed all of a sudden, Emily could see it through her wheezing breaths, the tears streaming down her face from laughing too hard.

"Does this mean I get to hold your hand in public?" Effy asked quietly.

"Of course it does." Katie beamed. "It also mean you're coming for dinner on Saturday." Effy laughed and for a split second Emily saw the person under all the layers and knew just why Katie had fallen for her. She looked back at Naomi, laughter dying rapidly in her throat. Effy might be beautiful, but Naomi with her head thrown back, laughing like she'd just seen the funniest thing in the whole world, was absolutely gorgeous.

She stood there, transfixed by Naomi. Watched how her neck tilted backwards, the tears streaming down her face. She reached up and brushed them gently away, Naomi's eyes connected with her own and she saw the light shining brightly in them. Absolute joy. It was one of those moments she knew she would remember forever. Naomi stopped laughing too, leaning in to the hand caressing her cheek, wordlessly placing her own hand on top of it. Emily knew what it meant, didn't need the words that suddenly were running around in her head, threatening to spill out. They didn't though, but she wanted them to.

"We should get inside." Naomi whispered. Emily suddenly noticed that they were alone again, she grinned at Naomi and kissed her chastely on the lips. Naomi smiled as Emily laced their hands together and led them inside.

Naomi playfully pushed her down on the couch next to Cook, looking at him for a moment, before turning back to Emily. "I'll be right back, if he tries anything…" She looked at him again, Emily looked too and saw Naomi had his attention. "…I'll sic Katie on him and then I'll chop off what's left of his equipment." She poked her tongue out at him, before kissing Emily quickly.

"What the hell have I ever done." Cook grumbled under his breath, shifting away from Emily a bit. "Bloody scary the both of them." Emily giggled.

* * *

She watched the room intently over the next few hours, not really drinking all that much. It looked like everyone was relaxed though, at home. Or maybe the word she was looking for was comfortable. Naomi didn't seem to drink much either, she watched as Cook swept her up and twirled her around, laughing along with the rest of them. It felt nice. She wanted time alone with Naomi though, even contemplated following her to the bathroom when she went. She dismissed that thought almost immediately. Spotting Effy, she quickly made her way over.

"Effy!" She exclaimed. "Do you have a minute?" Effy looked at her, a bit surprised, but nodded. "I just wanted to… Umm… I wanted to have a moment alone with Naomi." Effy smirked at that, Emily swatted her shoulder. "Not for that. I just wanted to talk to her. She's hiding something and I want to know what that is, but every time we get close to talking about it, people interrupt us."

Effy looked at Naomi, doubt flashing in her eyes, before looking back at Emily. "Leave it with me." She just said and slipped out the backdoor to the garden. Emily looked after her for a while, before going back to the living room, wondering if she'd done the right thing.

10 minutes later, she got her answer. Effy somehow managed to spill a glass of red wine on Naomi's very white top. She was apologizing profusely, to Naomi's back who was already halfway up the stairs, when she caught Emily's eye and winked. She pointed up the stairs and looked quite pleased with herself.

"Thanks Effy, but what about the others?" She murmured as she got close enough.

"I called a cab while I was outside smoking, I'll get them all in it. Now go!" She pushed Emily towards the stairs as a car honked outside. She wondered how Effy knew when the cab would be there.

Emily was vaguely aware of the others protesting about waiting for them, but heard Effy practically manhandle a few out the front door, as she herself stood in front of Naomi's door. She drew a deep breath, hearing the front door click shut and let it back out. She gripped the handle, determined to get Naomi to talk and opened it. Her eyes found Naomi and all thoughts of talking flew out the window.

Naomi was in her underwear, head in her dresser, completely unaware of the effect she was having on Emily. All that skin! She let her eyes roam over it, licking her lips. Her conscience told her she was here to talk, but her body had other ideas all together. She could practically feel her pupils dilate, her mouth go dry. Before she was aware of anything happening, her legs had carried her to Naomi and she slipped her hands around her.

"Emily." Naomi sighed, causing Emily to sigh too. Naomi straightened up and Emily took the opportunity to press her body more firmly against Naomi's. She spread her hands as wide as she could, trying to touch as much skin as possible. "Where are the others?" She could feel Naomi's muscles working under her hands and almost didn't hear the quiet question.

"They left. Effy called a cab before the whole wine incident. We're supposed to follow them later." Emily answered, not really aware of just how husky her voice was, before she felt the shiver running up Naomi's spine. She couldn't resist placing a small kiss on the exposed shoulder in front of her, grinning into the skin.

"Follow them… Umm… Sure…" Naomi mumbled, turning around in Emily's arms. Emily used the opportunity to let her nails scratch softly against the stomach and sides underneath them. Naomi leaned forwards, lips almost brushing Emily's. "Does this mean…" The whisper of movement on Emily's lips was driving her mad. "…we're all alone?" She felt Naomi's hands sneak up under her top, drawing small circles on the skin.

"Yes." Emily whispered and crushed their lips together with a moan. The small circles on her back, became an insistent grip instead, drawing her closer. She opened her mouth, revelling in the feel of Naomi's tongue against her own. She could feel her heart slamming against her chest and wondered briefly if Naomi could feel it too. The thought quickly left her, her brain going into to overdrive.

Thoughts of talking had completely fled her mind too, along with any other thoughts, but as Naomi gaspingly broke their kiss, it came flooding back. Naomi's face was flushed, her eyes closed, but the look of total concentration was obvious. She lifted a hand and stroked a thumb over Naomi's lower lip, hoping her eyes would open.

She gasped again, when they finally did. The usually bright blue eyes were several shades darker and her pupils seemed to take up almost all of them. The need was so obvious in them that she almost missed that tiny little part that seemed to still be closed off to her. Her own eyes must have looked similar, specially when Naomi playfully bit the thumb she had forgotten was still on Naomi's lower lip. Her breath hitched when a tongue came out to soothe the bite. She licked her own lips and Naomi made a sound that sounded an awful lot like a growl. She would have giggled if it wasn't so goddamn hot.

She wasted no time in practically throwing herself against Naomi, desperately clinging to any part of her she could reach at first, before her hands began to touch as much skin as possible. She felt Naomi guide them backwards, furiously tugging at her clothes, the back of her knees connected with the bed and she dragged Naomi down on top of her.

"Too many clothes." Naomi mumbled, trailing kisses down her neck, still tugging at the clothes Emily had on. She sat up, pushing Naomi back, quickly discarding her top. Naomi had stopped her frantic movements, her eyes widening trying to look at everything at the same time. Emily could feel goose bumps erupt under the gaze, her breaths coming in bursts.

"You're gonna need to move if you want more clothes gone." She husked at Naomi, bringing her eyes back up to her own. The half smile on Naomi's face and the raised eyebrow, made her shiver.

"I definitely want more clothes gone." She growled, raising herself up and dragging her fingers down the fabric of Emily's stockings. Emily quickly flipped them over and got to her knees, backing slowly off the bed. Naomi raised herself to her elbows, watching intently as Emily slid the rest of her clothes off, leaving her in her underwear too.

"You want me to continue? Or do you want to take the rest off yourself?" She had no idea where her confidence came from. It wasn't like she had done anything remotely like this before, but Naomi's eyes burning trails up and down her body, gave her all the confidence she could ever need.

"Come here." Naomi extended an arm to her, dragging her back down. The feel of skin against skin was intoxicating. She felt hands glide up her back, stopping at her bra clasp. "Are you sure about this? We can stop if you want to." The words were soft, but needy. As if it would hurt her to stop, but she had to ask, had to make sure. Emily smiled down at her, lightly dragging her nails around Naomi's shoulder blades.

"If I didn't want this, I wouldn't be sitting here in my underwear. I wouldn't be doing this, now would I?" She licked a path up to Naomi's ear, husking in to it as she reached it. "Now just take the damn thing off." She smiled as Naomi sat frozen underneath her for a moment, before groaning loudly.

She was vaguely aware of Naomi pushing the strops on her bra down, burying her hands in blonde hair as Naomi kissed her throat, tongue coming out to taste every now and then. Sighing, she arched back to give her more access. The kisses followed the newly opened path, lips resting right over her heart. Her hands were gripping Naomi's arms tightly, sighing at the sensation.

"God, you're beautiful" Naomi murmured, her lips never breaking contact with the skin underneath them. The lips that were driving Emily absolutely crazy, made their way back up. Emily tilted her head down, meeting Naomi halfway. Doing her best not to go too fast, Emily deliberately tried to keep the kiss slow. She could feel Naomi's hands sneaking up her back again, this time not stopping at the clasp, but flicking it open. She quickly took it off, not breaking the kiss, pushing herself against Naomi as soon as it was off.

She dragged her hands down Naomi's back again, unclasping the bra as she went, gasping lightly for air when Naomi broke the kiss and started trailing those lips back down. She pushed her away slightly, Naomi looked up at her, she looked kind of dazed, but that wall was back. It made Emily want to start crying, she wondered what it would take to break that wall down, she pushed the thought away and concentrated on making Naomi feel good. She grinned.

"I just want you to take this off." She fingered Naomi's bra strop. "I want to feel you against me. All of you." She brushed a finger down to the top of Naomi's underwear. "That means these have to go too." She hardly recognized her own voice, it was dripping with need. Naomi shuddered, dipping her eyes down, licking her lips.

"You're going to be the death of me, Emily Fitch." She answered, slowly stripping away her bra. Emily whimpered when she threw it away. Naomi used the distraction to flip them over, push them further on to the bed. Emily swallowed as fingers slowly, but deliberately, trailed down her body, stopping to trace around nipples. "Lift your hips" Naomi murmured, sliding her fingers underneath the fabric of Emily's underwear. Emily acted on autopilot, raising her hips and felt Naomi sit up to get a better grip on it.

She felt Naomi leave the bed and raised her head to look at her. Unashamedly, she let her eyes drift over every inch of skin on display, watched as the last piece of clothing left Naomi's body. She shifted her eyes up and met Naomi's eyes, smiling softly, letting every ounce of the love she felt shine through.

Naomi crawled up her body, stopping every now and then to place a fiery kiss on skin that was already burning. Her eyes never left Emily's though and Emily could see the wall crumbling. She giggled, half because of what she saw in those beautiful eyes and half because of the tickles Naomi's hair created as she worked her way up.

"Naomi." She sighed as she felt lips close on her nipples, sucking lightly. She grabbed hold of her hair and dragged her up so she could kiss her. Naomi's hand instantly replaced her lips, making it extremely hard to concentrate on actually moving her lips against Naomi's. She reached down and mirrored the movement, making Naomi break the kiss with a groan.

"Jesus, Emily!" She exclaimed as the hand drifted down, stroking over a quivering stomach, continuing down. Emily flipped her onto her back, hovering over her, hand cupping her prize. "Should have known you wanted to be on top." Naomi laughed, sounding breathless.

"Are you complaining?" She put a little extra pressure on her hand, dipping down to kiss Naomi's neck. Feeling the laughing turn into a quiet moan. She slid further down, kissing Naomi's nipple, bringing her free hand up to the other.

"Not even close to complaining." Naomi answered, arching up into Emily's touch. Naomi's hand squeezed her arms, before ghosting over shoulders and up in to her hair. "I need to kiss you." She breathed, tugging slightly. Grumbling slightly, Emily reluctantly let go of the nipple between her teeth and brought her mouth up to meet Naomi's lips. Both of them moaned when their tongues touched.

The sound seemed to spur Naomi on, her legs falling open a bit more. Hands lifting one of Emily's thighs over her own, rocking up. Emily broke the kiss with a soft sigh, grinding down. She looked down at Naomi, her hair spread out, her cheeks flushed, eyes half closed. She watched intently as she pushed into her, watched as her face contorted in pleasure. She could have swore her heart stuttered at the sight.

The rhythm came naturally, Emily didn't really have to think too much about it. All she really wanted to think about anyways, was getting Naomi to let go. She had a small inkling that if she could just push her over the edge, all her questions would be answered. The breathy moans coming from Naomi, mixing with her own, was just a bonus. A big, orgasmic bonus. She grinned at the thought.

Her grin faltered when she felt Naomi's hands dig into her thighs, urging her to grind harder. She leaned into Naomi, letting their foreheads touch. Letting the steady building in the pit of her stomach take over all her senses. All she could see was Naomi, all she could feel was her and when she touched her lips to her, she was all she could taste.

As their lips connected, something tugged at the edge of her mind. It felt like something was about to break through, she raised her head a fraction, staring down at Naomi. Blue eyes stared back at her, seemingly clinging desperately to some sort of control, she smiled softly into them and increased the pace of their rhythm. Naomi arched a bit more, a guttural groan ripping from somewhere inside her. She gasped too, the increased pace making her feel just a little bit delirious. She was so close, but she wanted Naomi to come with her.

"I've got you." She breathed. "Let go for me." Words kept tumbling out of her, she didn't know where they came from, didn't care. "I…" She swallowed a moan. "I.. lo…love you." She managed, pressing her lips to Naomi's again, before she could say anything back.

Naomi's hands were suddenly in her hair, pressing her closer, opening up to her. The flood of relief had a quite different outcome then she could ever imagine though. Images started flooding her brain, jumbled up and making no sense. Snippets of feelings and conversations pulsed through her.

_***Flicker*** She saw Naomi walking away from her and tried desperately to hold back her tears. Anger coursed through her, she felt the need to lash out despite the fact that it hadn't stopped Naomi yet. She had to try. If only she would turn around, if only she had woken up first._

_"I know you, Naomi." She followed her down the gravel road, but Naomi picked up her pace. "I know you're lonely." Her voice and her words seemed to only spur Naomi on, to drive her further from her. She couldn't stop though._

_"I think you need someone to want you." She cried, the desperation clear in her voice. "Well, I do want you!" Naomi seemed to bow her head a little, as if she was considering the words. It gave her hope, it gave her the last push she needed to get the rest of the words out._

_"So be brave!" Her mind was screaming the words loud and clear, but the voice that came out was breaking. "And want me back!"_

_She watched in disbelief as Naomi continued to walk away, never slowing, not even looking back. She could feel her heart shattering. ***Flicker***_

She didn't know what to make of it, but didn't have a chance to figure it out before another one slammed into her.

_***Flicker*** "When I'm with you, I feel like I'm a better person. I feel happier. Less… Alone. Less lonely." Naomi's voice was muffled, coming from outside her door. She sounded so lost that Emily's heart went to her._

_When the words finally made sense to her, she sobbed. Finally it seemed like Naomi understood. Doing the only thing she could, she extended her hand through the cat flap and grabbed hold of Naomi's. It felt right, it felt nice. She sighed softly. ***Flicker***_

Her head was spinning, she wasn't sure if it was from the images in her head or the lack of oxygen. It didn't stop anything though, they still kept coming.

_***Flicker*** Emily leaned in closer to Naomi, trying to get as close as she could without actually touching her. She could see the reaction she had on the other, the hairs standing, the subtle intake of breath. It made her smile._

_She was getting to Naomi, there was no question about it, all she had to do was to keep pushing._

_"So you see, all you have to do is add these two columns up and the rest is easy." She said, well aware that Naomi wasn't paying attention to anything she actually said. She could, however, not take her eyes off her lips. She smiled again when she saw Naomi licking her own._

_Oh yes, she was definitely getting to her. ***Flicker***_

The flickering became worse, coming faster and faster. She was in a bouncy castle, kissing Naomi. Being chased up a lawn, before falling over giggling. She was screaming at the top of her lungs in the middle of a crowded street at her, furious with her for cheating with Sophia. She looked into her eyes right before they kissed at the lake, making love by a fire afterwards. She was on a rooftop, crying, her heart shattering in a million pieces and she felt sick. Naomi kissing her softly by the front door, not questioning her need to move in. A Love Ball where she took a chance and told Naomi she loved her in front of the entire school, Naomi telling her she loved her back. She was at a barbecue, trying to hurt Naomi as badly as she had been hurt herself.

It was all so mixed up, bleeding into one another that she had no idea how to make sense of them all. Not until the final one, did she get it.

_***Flicker*** "Who's gonna start." JJ asked. The shed was filled with smoke and Emily wondered what the hell she was doing here. She wished she had stayed home, maybe burrowed under a blanket with a box of Kleenex by her bed. Her heart felt like it was encased in ice, but she pushed that hopeless feeling down, determined to stay strong. She heard the door open behind her and looked over curiously._

_"I will." For a moment, her eyes locked with Naomi's and everything felt like it was going to be alright. She pushed that feeling down too and stared at her, defiantly. She met her stare head on, not wanting to show any weakness. Naomi took a deep breath and seemed steel herself, like she was willing herself to go on._

_"I've loved you from the first time I saw you. I think I was 12." Whatever Emily expected Naomi to say, this wasn't it. "It took me three years to pluck up the courage to speak to you and I was so scared of the way I felt… You know…" She indicated towards Emily. "Loving a girl." Emily wasn't sure what was happening, but Naomi suddenly had her full attention, she had everyone's attention._

_"That I learned how to become a sarcastic bitch, just to make it feel normal. I screwed guys to make it go away, but it didn't work." She didn't quite know if she should react, tell her it was ok, but Naomi was stripping away every layer right in front of everyone and she couldn't help the ice around her heart thawing just a little._

_"When we got together it scared the shit out of me, because you were the one person that could ruin my life." She was breaking down in front of her, casting all the bullshit to the side. She was finally making a stand, she was finally fighting for them. Emily watched the tears on her face, listening to the little sniffle Naomi made and saw her pull herself together. She had never been more proud of Naomi in her life._

_"I pushed you away, I made you think things were your fault, but really I was just terrified of pain." Naomi was staring right into her eyes, she knew she was trying to read her, but Emily gave her nothing._

_"I screwed that girl Sophia, to kind of spite you for having this hold on me, and I'm a total fucking coward because…" She broke eye contact and Emily desperately wanted it back, but she was rifling through her bag and her eyes followed her hand. "I got these…" She drew out what looked like two tickets. "…These tickets to Goa for us, three months ago…" She looked down again at the tickets and Emily wanted to end it, end the speech and just put her arms around her, but she knew there was more to come. Needed to hear it all._

_"…But I… I couldn't stand…" She was almost completely broken, tears streaming down her face. Emily tried to give her what she had to continue, tried to will her with her mind to finish._

_"I didn't want to be a slave to way I feel about you. Can you understand?" She couldn't believe the words coming out of her Naomi. Her beautiful, broken Naomi. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest._

_"You were trying to punish me back and it's horrible. It's so horrible, because really, I'd die for you." She bit her lips, trying to hold her own tears in. The ice was in a puddle around her heart, spilling over into her eyes._

_"I love you! I love you so much it's killing me."** *Flicker***_

She gasped for air, the world rushing back to her as she wrenched her lips away from Naomi's. She looked down, eyes focusing on Naomi's face. She was chewing her lip, eyes closed and brows furrowed. Tears were leaking out. She whimpered slightly as Emily drew her fingers out, tensing under her. Emily finally understood what she had been afraid of, what the purpose of the wall was.

"It's ok, Naomi." She murmured, hugging her closer. "It's gonna be ok. I've got you, I'm still here."

* * *

**A special thanks to Es and her story "Dragons", I love it almost as much as I do the actual mythical creatures. If you haven't read it you are insane and not a very good Naomily fan.**

**If you're looking for some real smut and not my trainwreck of an attempt, go read Hypes' "99 problems" or the last chapter of Myrtle's "Best Served Cold."**

**I'll be back with the next chapter when it's written. *grins***

**P.S: You guys on twitter are hysterical and very distracting, thanks :D **


	30. Everything is connected

**A/N: You're right, Vangoghgurrl, I was doing... stuff. And that stuff was editing this chapter while slightly drunk. Any mistakes you find, is because of that. Thanks to the twitter peeps for all the procrastination opportunities. And thanks for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter.**

**Also, I'm very sorry Es, this might not be what you're looking for.**

**On that note, I think it's time that Dr. Snipes has his say. Here you go :D**

**Chapter 29: Everything is connected.**

He stared at the cracks in the ceiling, he had counted them all before, so he didn't really see them anymore. His hand was splayed over the cold space next to him, the empty part of the bed. Searching for warmth, even though he knew he wouldn't find it. He knew he should get some sleep, but these days it was harder and harder to come by. He concentrated on his breathing, on the steady rhythm of his heart, trying desperately to find sleep. The phone rang out into the empty room and he had never been as happy to hear it in his entire life.

"Hello?" He sat up in bed, not even bothering telling whoever was on the other end off.

"Umm…" He heard a voice say, it was quiet, uncertain. "Hi… It's Naomi." The sound of running water in the background and the way her voice seemed to be barely above a whisper, confused him for a second.

"Is everything alright? You sound strange." He wondered briefly if his choice of words could be better.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" She deflected. He let her, sure that she would get there eventually, she usually did. He smiled softly, getting out of bed.

"Nope, I was staring at the ceiling. I can't seem to sleep." The silence stretched, he could almost hear her fidget. Almost see the way she was biting her lip, considering her next words.

"Wes?" Her voice was even softer now, even more hushed. "Emily knows." A thousand scenarios suddenly flashed before his eyes, some were good, others were devastating.

"Are you coming in tomorrow?" He asked, voice just as soft. "There is probably a few things I should tell you before then."

"I don't know how to get her to agree to it, but I'll try." He heard the shaky breath she drew.

"Naomi? Where is Emily now?" He asked.

"In my room. I snuck out when she fell asleep. I still can't believe she stayed." The running water suddenly stopped.

"Tell her about me, she already knows me. If she's stayed, there is no reason why she wouldn't come with you." He wondered if this was revealing too much, but shook his head and pushed the thought out. "Trust me, Naomi. She'll come."

"You're her therapist." It was a statement, not a question. "I should have known, don't know why I'm surprised, really." She chuckled dryly. "She did tell me he was setting up a Bristol branch, it's obvious."

"Are you mad?" He asked, tentatively. "I couldn't just come out and tell you…" He trailed off.

"I'm guessing that since you phrased it like that, you wouldn't have told her about me either, so I don't mind." Her voice was still as hushed, he could hear her shifting things around. He looked out the window, watching a cat crossing the yard in front of his house, he didn't quite know what to say to her.

"So…" He cleared his throat, remembering how his wife used to tease him about being horrible on the phone. "Why did you really call me?" He asked, trying to figure out why she hadn't talked to her friend instead.

"I needed someone to tell me to get my ass back to bed." She chuckled sadly. "And Effy is still out with Katie, they're probably trying to give us space or something." He heard her sigh. "I just… I can't believe she here, you know? I can't believe she's not running as fast as she can."

"Why would she run, Naomi? From what you've told me, there is nothing to run from, unless love scares her." Silence greeted his reasoning. He looked at his phone, making sure the call was still connected. He was just about to speak again when he heard the faint knocking on the other end.

"Hang on." She whispered urgently. He all but held his breath, trying to hear what was being said.

"Naomi?" He heard a faint, husky voice say. He recognized it as Emily. "Why are you in there?" He could hear the innocent curiosity, it was plain even through Naomi's faint rustling, through the closed door. The water started up again.

"I'll be right back, Ems. Just give me a minute." Naomi answered, he could hear the warmth in her voice plainly. It made him smile.

"Well, hurry up. The bed is cold and lonely without you." The husk was more pronounced now and he could have sworn he heard Naomi swallow thickly. He suddenly felt like a peeping tom and wondered if he should just hang up. There was a mumbling answer from Naomi, he didn't try to hear the words this time, focussed on the tone instead. It was sweet, the love was plain in it, he grinned to himself.

He realized he must have zoned out when he heard her voice directed at him. "Wes? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." He answered, knowing that the call was coming to an end. "Listen, go back to Emily, tell her about me. Tell her that I'll answer any questions the both of you have tomorrow." He pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly feeling extremely tired.

"Alright." She said, he could hear the doubt in her voice, but decided to let it go. "Can we push the meeting, or whatever you want to call it, forward though? I'm thinking around 1?" She sounded hopeful again, he smiled.

"That will be fine, Naomi. Emily knows the way to my office, just tell my assistant who you are." He could hear the professionalism leak into his words.

"I'll see you then." She simply said and hung up. He stared at the phone in his hand for a few moments, his mind revolving around the remarkable person who'd just hung up on him. He smiled softly to himself and crawled back into bed. For the first time in weeks, he fell asleep without really trying.

* * *

He sat in his chair, listening to Mrs. Spencer going on and on about her idiot son. He knew he was supposed to be objective and offer her some advice, but the boy sounded like he had the IQ of a goldfish. He watched the clock behind her, it seemed to be standing still, this was just ridiculous. He made some affirmative noise in the back of his throat, the woman kept prattling on, oblivious to the fact that he was in no way paying attention to her. His eyes drifted over to the desk, making sure that the book he had brought was still there. He held up a hand, not really looking at Mrs. Spencer, cutting her off midstream.

"That's all the time we have, Mrs. Spencer." He said apologetically, getting out of his chair. "Why don't you bring your son to the next session?" He offered, watching her gather her purse and get up herself.

"Do you really think that would help, doctor?" He fought down the urge to sigh and offered her a smile instead.

"I think it couldn't hurt." She laughed at that as he ushered her out the door and into the waiting area. He caught the eye of his assistant, nodding slightly. "Glenn here will set it all up, I'm thinking next week some time?" He looked at Glenn again, who nodded back, smiling sickeningly at Mrs. Spencer. "I'll leave you in his capable hands, take care now." He went back to his office, seemingly not noticing the goodbyes from the woman behind him.

He let out a sigh the second the door was closed behind him and made his way to the desk. He should have known that opening up a practise in Bristol wouldn't be a good idea, but here he was anyways. The picture next to his computer had him smiling, forgetting why he was feeling all jittery for a moment.

"The things you do for love." He said softly, tracing the face in the picture for a moment, before remembering the book in front of him. The old, worn leather bindings looked like it had seen better days, but it was what was inside it that was important. He opened it carefully, scanning the handwritten pages in front of him for a few seconds, finally he found the passage he was looking for. Marking the page with a spare bit of paper, he put the book back down.

The knock on his door came as a surprise, he'd been miles away. He blinked a couple of times, trying to get his thoughts back to the present. A brief glance at the clock told him that he still had about 15 minutes before Naomi and Emily was supposed to be here. Glenn stuck his head in before he had a chance to call him in.

"Hey Dr. S." Glenn was grinning like a fool at him. "You told me to let you know when they got here and it looks like they're early." Glenn shrugged slightly. "At least there are two young people outside, seemingly debating if they're coming in or not."

"They'll come in." Wes smirked. "I'm sure of it. Now get back out there and show them in when they do." He could feel the excitement bubble in him and quickly grabbed the old, tattered book from the desk.

"I honestly don't know how you do that." Glenn mumbled.

"Do what?" He whirled back around to face his assistant. The smirk was still on his face as he looked at the other man. "Know that they're coming in?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's like you know things before they happen sometimes, it's actually kinda creepy." The younger man stated. "Oh, if you did, can you tell me the lottery numbers?"

"And lose a perfectly good assistant? I don't think so Glenn." Glenn laughed at that. "I know no more then you do. I just observe people, know what makes them tick, occupational hazard I guess." He shrugged and moved to sit down in the chair in front of the couch. It was cliché, having a couch instead of chairs, but he liked it. There had never been any complaints as far as he knew.

"Whatever you say, Dr. S, whatever you say." Glenn turned around, ready to leave. "I'll send them straight through when they're done debating." Wes was hardly surprised over the abrupt change in demeanour. They both knew how to turn things professional at the drop of a hat. He watched his assistant leave, thankful that he had chosen to come with him to Bristol. He was by far the best assistant he had ever had.

He only had to wait for about 5 minutes, before there was a soft knock on his door. "Come in." He said loudly enough to carry through the heavy door. His eyes were trained on the handle, watching it turn slowly. It seemed like time slowed and he found himself holding his breath for some reason. He exhaled hastily.

Eyes darted over every last detail of the two people in front of him. The way Naomi bit her lip, indicating that she was beyond nervous. Emily's hesitant smile directed at him. They way their hands were clasped tightly, as if they both were afraid the other would disappear if they didn't hold on. The brief look between them, it somehow made the love between almost tangible. He could almost have sworn he saw lights swirling around them as he looked at the couch, indicating that they should take a seat. Sparkling in brilliant blue shades somehow blending seamlessly into red. He shook his head, the image dispelling in an instant.

"Erm… Hi." Naomi said, sitting down at the exact same time as Emily, hands disconnecting, but still brushing against each others. . They chose the middle, Emily pressed as close to Naomi as she could, without ending up in the other girl's lap. He smiled softly as Emily's hand disappeared behind Naomi's back and Naomi's hand rested on Emily's thigh. He didn't think they were even aware that they hadn't stopped touching in some way since they stepped into the room. He wondered if this was the way they normally interacted, or if that particular trait had popped up somewhere in the last few days.

"Hello Naomi." His voice was warm, genuine. "Hi Emily." He looked from one to another, anticipation heavy. He smiled softly at them, wanting to put them at ease. The tension in Naomi's shoulders lessened a little, but he wasn't sure if it was Emily's hand on her back or his smile that did it. If he had to guess, his money would be on the red head. They both smiled back at him, but remained silent.

"So…" He started, but he wanted one of them to start, so he stopped there. He looked at them both expectantly, absentmindedly tracing the spine on the book in his hands. He watched as Naomi drew in a breath, closing her eyes for a moment, before exhaling. He hoped it meant she was ready to talk.

"I don't know where to start." She said quietly, he saw Emily's free hand cover the hand Naomi had on her thigh, squeezing it slightly. Naomi looked at her, smiling softly.

"How about you start at the beginning, unless you've already told Emily how this all came to be?" He was pretty sure he knew the answer, but he didn't want to assume too much. "And then Emily can interject when she feels she has anything to add." He knew there were plenty of things both of them had to go over, had to tell each other, but he was unsure how much they'd already told each other. "Does that work for the two of you?"

"Yeah…" Emily answered, looking at Naomi who nodded at her. "She wouldn't tell me anything, said I had to come here with her because there were still things she didn't quite understand." Naomi nodded again, her eyes focussed on him now.

"I thought… well… If I got stuck anywhere, you'd be able to help me continue." She said nervously, he just continued smiling at her, nodding slightly. She cleared her throat and turned toward Emily. "This is gonna take a while, although you probably saw most of it last night." There was a faint blush on her cheeks, it was mirrored by Emily.

"It was rather… intense." Emily answered, the blush deepening. "Anyways, why don't you start with the first time it happened." He watched Naomi smile at her, watched Emily smile back.

"Remember the party when we first talked to each other?" Naomi started.

"When we talked about lint?" Emily asked with a laugh. "Yeah, I remember. I also remembering wishing that you would just shut up about the damn lint and just kiss me." She continued, her eyes glimmering, a playful expression on her face. Naomi grinned.

"Well, I went outside, trying to get away from you. You see, I wanted to kiss you too and it absolutely terrified me." Emily's face dropped a little, but he watched her force it back. He leaned forward a little, completely mesmerized by the two in front of him. "I grabbed a bottle of vodka on the way out and fully intended on getting very drunk, very fast. I don't know why I sat behind the shed, but before I could get my head around anything, you and Katie came outside too."

"Oh yes, the screaming match about me being gay. One of our finest moments, I'm sure." Emily smirked slightly and Naomi just grinned wider.

"It was all very fascinating." Naomi continued, Emily slapped her arm before returning her hand to Naomi's. They were behaving like they had been bantering like this all their lives, he suddenly wished he had grabbed a notebook too. He stretched towards his desk, just barely reaching a notebook and a pen, they never noticed.

"Hey! That was a private conversation, you know. You should have told us you were there…" Emily countered.

"Yeah and have the conversation turn on me? No thanks." Naomi laughed. "Anyways, there I was, minding my own business and all." She grinned again as Emily rolled her eyes. "When this husky voice reaches my ears and despite the fact that you'd only said like two sentences to me, I knew it was you."

"That's actually kinda creepy, Naoms." Emily told her, scrunching up her face. He had to bite his tongue to avoid laughing at the expression on Naomi's face at that comment. In the end, Naomi just shook her head, while Emily laughed softly at her. "I'm kidding! Continue, please."

"Yes, well… As I was saying, I knew it was you. I actually debated if I should get up, but my survival instinct won. Katie shouted your name and I was elated, I remember thinking that it suited you." She trailed off, smiling softly at Emily. "Suddenly though, something happened. I can't really explain the feeling, but I guess I don't have to." She looked pointedly at Emily, who nodded. "The world sort of flickered out of focus and suddenly I was on the bench by the door instead of behind the shed. You came and found me, told me your name and kissed me. It was so real, then Katie dragged you off me and the thing ended. That was the first time it happened." She finished, eyes locked firmly with Emily's. "You have no idea how horrible it was when I came out of it and realized it had been all in my head."

Emily was still looking at her, tears filling her eyes. She raised their hands that had somehow intertwined during Naomi's story, and kissed it gently. He felt like an intruder for a brief second, a feeling he hadn't had since he the first few months of his career. He cleared his throat to get their attention. They both blinked, he noted, looking sort of surprised at him. They had clearly forgotten where they were, he chuckled at that.

"Oh… Right. Sorry." Emily mumbled. She locked eyes with his, question plain in her eyes. "Should I…?" She trailed off when he nodded and looked at Naomi. "You're not the only one who's had… Umm.. Strange things happen?" She fidgeted slightly, shifting in her seat.

"What do you mean?" Naomi asked, eyebrow quirked quizzically. "Did you have flickers too?"

"Not exactly…" She grimaced, but Wes could see Naomi squeeze her hand and the grimace faded. "While you had flickers, I had something else. It started in London… Actually, that's not true. It started when Katie was yelling my name at the top of her lungs as I was walking away from that party. I had barely rounded the corner before I could feel you all over me. I didn't know what it meant, or what was happening, only that I actually turned around, expecting you to have followed me. I almost went back, but I was so angry… I wish I had though, I really do."

Naomi looked surprised for a moment, before a smile spread on her face. "It started at the same time." She said softly, it was more a statement then a question. Emily looked at her in wonder.

"They're connected." She breathed. "We're connected." Naomi stared back at her with the same wonder spreading over her face.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes flickered over to him for a second, looking for confirmation. He'd actually thought it would take longer to reach this conclusion, but here they were already. He met her stare, tilting his head slightly, she took it as a sign to move on and turned back to Emily. She opened her mouth to say something and then frowned, closing her mouth again.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked her, a frown on her face too. Naomi just stared at her. "Naomi?"

"It's just… Did you stop seeing me for about a month, somewhere in there?" She asked. Wes suddenly understood where she was coming from. If they truly were connected, if the things they saw were connected, there would be a period of time where neither saw anything. Emily's eyebrows flew up, seemingly understanding exactly what Naomi was asking her. Her face settled into a smile.

"It was more like 5 weeks, three days and 7 hours… Not that I was counting or anything." She smirked at Naomi, who grinned back. Wes just shook his head.

"So whenever I had a flicker…" Naomi trailed off.

"…I could feel you." Emily finished.

"That's the same conclusion I came to when I was talking to the two of you individually." He interrupted, they both turned to face him. Emily looked intently from one to another.

"Wait… How exactly did the two of you meet?" She asked suddenly.

"Do you want to answer that, or should I?" He indicated to Naomi that she should go ahead and answer the question. She turned towards Emily. "Alright… I sort of… umm.. Got arrested."

"You what?" Emily leaned back a little, shock on her face.

"Well, you see… I was on this rooftop and people might have thought I was going to jump, seeing as I was standing on the railing…" Naomi fiddled with the hem of her shirt, not looking at Emily at all. "I wasn't though!" She grabbed Emily's hand again and looked at her imploringly. Emily just sat there with her mouth hanging open.

"Emily?" Wes asked, but he got no response. He furrowed his brows and tried again. "Emily!" Her head snapped up, turning towards him again. "You need to tell her what you told me." She nodded. Naomi was looking from one to another. He could see her trying to make sense of it all. He locked eyes with Emily and nodded towards Naomi.

"I was there." Emily whispered, in the quiet office, none of them had any trouble hearing her. "Well, not really there, there, but I sort of… Umm… Dreamt it." She blushed, Naomi still looked confused. "You were on a roof and the rain was pouring down. You were walking towards the railing, freezing every now and then. I think you were having those… Flickers. You got to the edge and sort of sat there for a while and then you screamed in frustration. I was right there, I even kissed your cheek, and that's when I heard it. I heard it again last night. I answered you too."

"How is that possible?" Naomi turned towards Wes. "I mean, I get that we're somehow connected, but…"

"You believe me?" Emily interjected, looking shocked.

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Naomi looked back at Emily, smiling gently. The words were spoken with sincerity as far as he could tell. "What I want to know…" She turned back to face him, eyes flashing. "…is what you know about this." The silent challenge didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Yeah, how exactly are we connected?" Emily supplied, her eyes trained on him as well. He sighed, looking down at the book in his lap.

"I want to read you something." He opened the book carefully, finding the page he had marked. "This was written by my grandmother, almost 70 years ago." He looked back up at them for a moment, making sure he had their attention. There was no doubt that he did, they had both leaned forward, interested expressions on their faces. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"Have you ever felt like things were meant to be different? The war is here, we're all living in fear and still there is something that's not quite right. I feel like there's something else I should be doing. I used to see it from time to time, but these last few days it's been worse. It's exhausting and confusing. I never know when I'm going to zone out on the world, what if it happens in the middle of an air raid? There is hardly any warning, just a faint feeling of recognition before it happens."

He turned the page, remaining silent for a while, trying to find the passages he wanted. He wished he had taken more time finding them all, there was so many things he wanted to read for the two on the couch. He looked up at them again, Naomi looked disbelieving, Emily was clutching on to her hand as if it was a lifeline and she was drowning. He looked back down at the book and found the next passage he wanted.

"I figured it out today, what it is that I see. It's him, it's always him. There is only one problem though, he's not been here for about 6 months. That doesn't change anything though, nothing does. I have a feeling that this is how it's supposed to have been. Somehow he should have been here, if only for a few more months. I kept seeing him in the hospital I volunteer at, he had some sort of accident. Only, he'd been deployed for a while when I started having these… flashes. I can't think of anything else to call them."

Again, he turned the pages, looking for the next entry. He didn't bother looking at Emily and Naomi this time, knew the looks on their faces wouldn't have changed much. He scanned a section he didn't plan on reading, just letting the words wash over him, he was vaguely aware of Naomi and Emily shifting on the couch. He turned to the last few pages and finally found what he was looking for. He cleared his throat again.

"The day he came home, was arguably the best and worst day of my life. I was so overwhelmingly scared that he would reject me when I told him what I had been seeing, not to mention what he would do if I told him what I thought it all meant. The minute I saw him though, something started clawing at me to get out. It took all my strength not to give in to it instantaneously. It kept building and building, it was driving me insane."

"We were both shy, could barely look at each other at first, but then he made a comment about how he kept thinking of me when he was away. My heart soared, I thought he might have had the same flashes I did, the truth was much more spectacular though. It seemed he had felt every last one of the flashes I'd been having, only seeing me out of the corner of his eye. I couldn't help myself at this admission and I know this isn't ladylike at all, but I kissed him."

"The most amazing thing happened when we kissed. Every flash I had ever had, repeated itself. He saw it all, but he insisted that it had been from his point of view, not from mine. It was remarkable and I felt that I'd finally come home. We got married a week later." He looked up from the book again, finding Emily and Naomi having what looked like a silent conversation with their eyes.

"I only read the parts I thought were necessary, there are things that are… private." He looked at Naomi, who had turned towards him again and looked like she wanted to say something. "I know…" He held up a hand. "I know that you told me everything about what you went through and I wish I could let you read the entire book, but my grandfather doesn't like being parted from it. My grandmother died while giving birth to their second child, this is all he has left."

"I get it Wes, but to be honest, this just gave me more questions." She looked at him expectantly, Emily nodding along next to her. He once again marvelled at the fact that they seemed like a unified front, so in tune with the other. He watched them, not addressing the underlying question of her statement. Emily was rubbing small circles on Naomi's hand. Naomi shifted on the couch, it looked innocent enough, but she had somehow managed to make the already small space between them, even smaller. He let his eyes drift shut, trying to formulate an explanation.

"Do you believe in fate? In karma? Or perhaps that everything happens for a reason?" He opened his eyes again. "And I don't mean in a religious way." Naomi looked at Emily, having another of those silent conversations, Emily met her eyes briefly and he saw the smallest of nods from her. Emily turned back towards him and he knew they had just agreed that she would be the one to answer the question.

"I can't say I did, but after coming back here… After seeing what I saw yesterday, I think I do." Naomi nodded next to her. "Is this what it is? Fate?" She looked at Naomi again, smiling at her. "Fate…" She breathed. "I think I like the sound of that."

"I'm not sure if it is fate, but I think it comes close. I think you're soul mates, not in the Hollywood sense of the word, but true soul mates." He let the words hang for a second, before continuing. "You two are connected, you will always be connected. My theory is that something threw off the balance, it was supposed to have played out different."

"Different, how?" Naomi interjected, her eyes were searching his, hanging on to every word he told them.

"From what you two have told me, Emily was never supposed to have moved away. I believe the events in your flickers would have happened if she had stayed. I'm not sure what happened to shift everything, but I'm guessing it was something small. One tiny little event to upset the balance." He looked at them both, Naomi looked blank, but Emily furrowed her brow.

"Like me forgetting to put away my diary and Katie showing it to mum…" She said quietly. Naomi looked at her questioningly. "I would've never come out if it wasn't for that." She grinned slightly at Naomi. "You're not the only one who fell for someone they never talked to. See, there was this girl… Her eyes were bluer then the sky and she had a scowl on her face. I wanted so badly to just say hello to her, but…"

"Katie wouldn't let you." Naomi finished for her. "I… umm… found that page actually, at your house. I wasn't looking for it or anything." She added in a hurry, but Emily just beamed at her and drew her in for a kiss.

"You're adorable." She mumbled. Naomi hummed in appreciation, before she obviously remembered that they weren't alone, he could see the tips of her ears turn red. He chuckled to himself, snapping Emily's attention back to him. "So, what exactly does this soul mate thing mean?" She asked. He contemplated the question for a moment, watching as Naomi's ears returned to their normal colour.

"There are numerous explanations, myths and even legends, stemming from all over the world. The oldest soul mate theory, is probably the Egyptian myth about Osiris and Isis. The most commonly known, however, is probably the one presented in Aristophanes' play, Plato's Symposium. Do you know it?" He looked at them expectantly.

"Is that the one where the humans had four arms, four legs and two faces?" The question came from Emily. Naomi shot her a disbelieving stare. "What? You seem surprise that I would know…"

"I just didn't know you were into Greek myths, that's all." Naomi answered with a shrug. "I think it's kind of hot." She grinned at Emily.

"There are lots of thing you don't know about me yet." Emily practically purred back.

"Is that so?" Naomi raised an eyebrow, leaning closer to her. Wes just shook his head and cleared his throat. Two pairs of eyes, snapped to him in an instant. Naomi cleared her throat. "Umm… Sorry. Please continue." She smiled sheepishly at him, he just chuckled again.

"No problem Naomi, I have been 17 and in love once myself." He smiled at her. "And you're right Emily, that's the one. See, the Greek Gods saw that the humans were getting too arrogant and that they were thinking of overthrowing the Gods, becoming Gods themselves, they were scared and horrified by that. So after much debate amongst themselves, Zeus finally came up with the idea to split them all up. And so, the humans were split and the plan worked. They were now too busy looking for their other half to plot against the Gods." He suddenly wished he had a glass of water or something and contemplated calling Glenn in with some refreshments. The anticipation on Naomi and Emily's faces, however, made him just move on with it.

"The text goes on about the different types of humans that were separated. Interestingly enough, there were three types. The male/female form, the male/male form and the female/female form. There were no distinction between them. The common belief was that, if they found each other, they had no choice but to be together." He finished.

"So you're telling me that we had no choice?" Naomi countered, tensing. He watched Emily squirm in her seat, a grimace on her face. The distance between them seemed to increase, Naomi was too busy staring at him to notice.

"There's always a choice, Naomi. Ever since I read my grandmother's diary and heard my grandfather's version of it, I've been actively searching these stories out. I happened on yours by accident, but I have interviewed people about this before. Granted, there aren't many of you out there, but out of the 5 couples I've talked to, you two are the only ones that have embraced it. I'm not including my grandparents in that." He watched Naomi relax, lean into Emily again and smiled.

"If they were meant to be, why did they reject it?" Emily asked quietly. Naomi finally sensed her discomfort at the direction the conversation was going in and put her arm around her and drew her closer. "And why couldn't we? Could we still… I mean… What if one of us get bored of the other, or we want someone else…" The words were quiet, uncertain and barely over a whisper. Naomi looked at her sadly.

"There are no guaranties in life, Emily, but the fact that the two of you have accepted it… That you have chosen to believe it, well that's something that the others didn't do. The funny thing is, the ones that rejected the notion, whether they moved away or just ignored it, all ended up together a few years down the line." He answered.

"I love you Emily." Naomi told her. "I've found you and I'm not letting you go. You're all I want." She kissed the side of Emily's head and he could see the contentment spread on Emily's face.

"Yes, well…" He started, fighting the lump in his throat. "As I was saying earlier, the Greek version of the soul mate myths, are probably the well known. There is, however, also the one about the red string of fate in Japan, where the two that are destined to be together are bound together by a red thread. Whoever your thread is tied to, is the one you are destined to end up with. There's the Hinduism belief that involves karma and previous lives. There's even stories of soul mates in the Bible." He took off his glasses and polished them, before resuming. "So you see, people have always believed in it, but in actuality, I've found it to be quite rare that you actually find the one you're meant for. You are two very lucky people." He smiled at them again.

"Yes, we are." Emily murmured, lovingly pushing a few strands of hair out of Naomi's eyes. She turned back to him. "But I still want to know where the flickers came from…"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Blame it on an alternate reality, different dimension, Gods, The Powers that Be, or even the Easter bunny, if you want." He grinned at them, they grinned back. "I've learned not to question it. It's just one of those things we might never know the answer to. I'm sorry if that disappoints you, but there you go." He leaned back in his chair, exhaling softly, waiting for the reaction.

"But…" Naomi scowled, but managed to look bewildered at the same time. "I don't get it, what was the point of them in the first place? It seems like we would have ended up together no matter what… I just don't get it."

"The point is that you have had them. The point is that you've learned from them, sped up the process. The point is that you've learned from the mistakes you've never made, yet somehow got to see regardless. They have made the two of you a stronger couple, you understand each other on a whole other level." He was pacing now, he didn't remember getting up. "They have taught you that nothing stands in the way of true love." He was practically shouting now. "Do you know how many people would KILL to be in your shoes?" He panted, hands flexing into fists. He slowly let himself relax.

They sat there, looking at him with their mouths hanging open. He knew he had overstepped his boundaries, probably scared them. He looked at them apologetically. "I'm sorry." He offered into the silence. He sat back down in his chair.

"I… It's ok." Emily answered, Naomi nodded. "We understand that this isn't exactly something that can be answered. I mean, I'd never even heard about this before. The soul mate thing, sure, but not the flickers." Naomi nodded again.

"I'm sorry too, it's just… Frustrating. I had hoped you might have had the answers to what they are, but maybe you're right. Maybe it was never about that.." Naomi interjected.

"I get it, I get the frustration." He answered. "But I don't think that's a question anyone CAN answer, but if you have any other questions about what we've already talked about. Feel free to ask them." He had calmed down completely by now, but he still felt ashamed that he had lost control.

"Do you have anymore questions?" Emily asked Naomi. "Cause I think I've got all the information I need. And no offence to you Dr. Snipes, but the things I still want information on… Well, I think it's best we talk about them in private." She was absentmindedly stroking Naomi's thigh, fiddling with a hole in the tights Naomi was wearing.

"I think I've got it too." Her hand covered Emily's, stilling it. She looked at him again. "Thanks though, Doc, for the advise. For not throwing me in jail when we first talked." She smiled at him. "For taking the time for this and not charging us." The smile turned into a grin when he laughed. "Unless there is anything else, I think we might get going."

"You are very welcome, both of you." He answered with a huge smile on his face. "If any of you ever need to talk, you know where to find me." He stood up as they stood up and was surprised when Emily gave him a hug. He noticed that she never let go of Naomi as she did.

"Thank you." She breathed and he got the feeling she was thanking him for a lot more then just a few sessions and a conversation. He smiled at her.

He followed them to the door, much to the surprise of Glenn, and watched them walk away hand in hand. They stopped at the corner, even from the front door he could see Emily throw her head back and laugh, Naomi watching her in silent awe. He turned away as he saw Naomi whisper something to Emily and tug her around the corner in a sprint. He shook his head, smiling softly.

"Any messages while I was in there?" He asked Glenn, leaning against his desk.

"Your wife called, she's coming home sooner then she expected. She should be here tomorrow." Glenn smiled at him. "She said I shouldn't disturb you, but that you should call her when you were done. And if you didn't she would kick my ass, so you better call."

"She knows me too well." Wes mused, smiling. "The only way to get me on the phone is to bully you and then get you to bully me."

"Well, you are a bit crap on the phone, Dr. S." Glenn grinned. "Now, go call her so I can get something done around here."

"Yes, sir." Wes mock saluted, grinning back. "Now go home, I'm giving you the rest of the weekend off… After you cancel all my appointments, of course." Glenn nodded.

Wes went back to his office, and closed the door. His mind was still buzzing, swirling around the implications. He grinned and picked up the phone. He couldn't wait to tell his wife about his day, about Emily and Naomi. When he thought about it though, all he really wanted to do, was to tell his wife that he loved her.

* * *

**The examples that are used in this, might have been altered just a little bit, but should all be easily found with a bit of googling. **

**Now, if you'll all excuse me... I'm ****going to bed. **

**Please leave any complaints you have after the beep. **


	31. Real life

**A/N: We're coming to an end people, after this there will only be an Epilogue left. So I thought we'd go out with a bang... In other words, there's another one of those "I'm not sure this is smut, but it looks kinda like it" scenes in here.**

**Oh, and read The Game! I seriously doubt anyone has missed that little fic, it has been plugged enough times on here already, but I have to say... You're REALLY missing out if you haven't taken a look at it. Emily has handcuffs! (And Naomi goes crazy and decks a guy in it... *grins*)**

**Chapter 30: Real life.**

"It was a fucking disaster!" Effy screamed, Naomi flinched at the sound. She wondered if Effy was aware of how much she had changed in a year. There was no way she would have reacted this way even 6 months ago. She would have shrugged and smirked and just generally not given a shit, but here she was stomping into their house, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Babe…" Katie followed her through the door.

"Don't even talk to me, Katie!" Effy shouted, tramping up the stairs, Katie darting after her. Naomi exchanged a look with Emily.

"Do you think we should try and talk to them?" She asked, eyeing the stairs nervously.

"Hell no, I'm not getting in the middle of that." Emily stated, as they heard a door bang shut upstairs. She tugged on Naomi's hand and led them to the kitchen. "You want some tea?" She said, not waiting for an answer before letting go of Naomi's hand and getting the kettle.

"But…" The sound of unintelligible screaming and what sounded like someone trying to kick a door down, made her flinch again. She sighed and cast a nervous glance at the ceiling. "…Maybe you're right… I don't get what the big deal is though, so Katie forgot to tell her that your mum was going to be there." She shrugged, stepping closer to Emily, putting her arms around her waist and leaning her head on her shoulder.

"Mmm…" Emily hummed, leaning back into Naomi's embrace. "If anything, Effy should probably be angry with us. I knew my mum was coming down to visit this weekend and I was going to tell her… But you sort of distracted me yesterday." Naomi smirked, tightening her hold, placing a kiss on Emily's neck.

"Maybe you're just easily distracted. We should probably work on that." Emily chuckled, she could feel the ripples of mirth under her hands, she smiled happily at that. She gave Emily one last squeeze, one last kiss on her neck, before letting go and sitting down at the table. She watched as Emily finished putting the kettle on and turn towards her.

"Maybe you should be distracting me right now." She husked, sliding towards her. Right on cue, a huge crash and frustrated yell sounded from upstairs. Emily froze, hand outstretched towards Naomi, eyes trained on the ceiling. Naomi remained silent and just reached out to drag Emily down on her lap.

"I'll distract you any day, Emily Fitch." She smiled at her. "I just hope I can distract you from what I can only assume, is your sister and my roomie killing each other upstairs."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?" Emily asked, settling in on her lap, running her fingers up and down Naomi's arms.

"I just figured that this way, we have an alibi if they are actually killing each other. I can just see it now: '…but we were too distracted to intervene, officer.' I'm sure that will be enough to get us out of trouble." She ran her hands up Emily's back, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Good point." Emily answered, hands playing with the short hairs on Naomi's neck. Naomi found the small strip of skin Between Emily's clothes and ran her fingers lightly over it. "We should probably get right on that." Emily husked. Naomi shivered, she felt goose bumps rise under her fingertips, saw the swirling in Emily's eyes. It still felt like the world moved in slow motion whenever they kissed, she hoped that feeling would last forever.

"Oh, for fucks sake! Do the two of you ever stop being all gross and loved up?" Katie suddenly huffed, breaking the nice little bubble they were in. Naomi pulled back from Emily, sighing. She looked at Emily as she turned towards her sister.

"Katie!" Emily huffed back. Naomi watched the silent argument in front of her, watched Katie look at Emily pleadingly, felt the slight exhalation from Emily and knew what was coming.

"Right then…" She shifted under Emily and lifted her off her lap. Emily squeaked at her, giggling slightly. "I'll just go… Umm… talk to Effy I think." She said, giving Emily one last squeeze and kissed the top of her head. Emily held her back for a moment.

"Thanks." Emily whispered. "I'll make it up to you." She smirked as a shudder ran down Naomi's back and gave her a chaste peck on the lips. Katie rolled her eyes at the display, Naomi just grinned at her and blew her a kiss, she got a small, reluctant smile in return. She heard them start to talk the moment she was out of the kitchen, she chuckled to herself and shook her head.

For the first time since Effy moved in, the door was closed during the day. She stood there staring at it, wondering whether to knock, or just try the handle. She sighed. A very big part of her just wanted to go back downstairs and snuggle up to Emily.

"Get it together, you can't even make it one minute without her. It's pathetic." She muttered to herself and knocked on the door.

"Damn it, Katie!" The door was ripped open. "I told you I needed some time to… Oh, it's you." Effy deflated in front of her, looking a bit sheepish. It looked weird on her, Naomi didn't like it much. "What do you want?" The monotone in her voice was back, she didn't even bother closing the door when she turned around and flopped down on her bed. Naomi followed her in, letting the door smack shut behind her.

"Aren't you a joy." She commented, sitting down on the bed next to Effy. "So what's really going on? It can't just have been that the lovely Jenna Fitch was at dinner."

"I don't want to talk about it." Effy reached out and grabbed Pato from his place next to the pillow, sighing as she turned over. Naomi held her gaze, cocking her head, trying to read her. A glimmer of something in Effy's eyes, made all the pieces click into place. Effy turned her gaze away abruptly, staring at the ceiling instead.

"Do you want my opinion on it?" Naomi asked, watching her twirl Pato around in her hands.

"No, but I'm guessing you're going to tell me anyways." Effy answered, same disinterested lilt in her voice as she used to have before Naomi knew her. Naomi smiled, knowing that she was actually curious and putting up a front. She shook her head, grinning openly when Effy turned to look at her. "Oh, don't look so bloody smug, Naomi. Just tell me what you think."

"Not gonna roll your eyes and huff? I've taught you nothing!" She joked, seeing a slight twitch on Effy's lips. "Fine then, I think you're pissed off not because Jenna was there and Katie didn't tell you. If you were, you'd be pissed at me and Emily since we're the ones that forgot to tell Katie." She looked expectantly at Effy, who was looking anywhere else but her, before finally settling her gaze on Pato. "How am I doing so far?" She asked.

"I'm starting to wish I never moved in here, that's how you're doing." Effy answered.

"You know you love me, Stonem." Naomi grinned. "I also know that I'm on the right track." She smirked as Effy turned to look at her.

"When the hell did you become all observant and shit? I thought that was my job." The trademark half smile on her face, made Naomi laugh.

"And I thought my job was to be a neurotic basket case in denial. Things change." She shrugged. "You want me to go on with my glorious insight into all of this?" Effy nodded. "Alright, you're pissed off because when Jenna turned her Fitch glare on you, and ranted about you corrupting her precious little angel, Katie just sat there. I defended you, Emily defended you, Rob tried to soothe her and even James spoke up for you, but the one person you thought would have your back just sat there. There's just one thing you forgot though…" She let it trail off, waiting for Effy to catch on by herself.

"What the hell are you on about?" Effy looked at her, confusion on her face. Naomi just stared back, waiting for the pieces to click into place. She saw the look of realisation on Effy's face just as the door burst open. She turned around at the sound and was practically pushed off the bed as Katie flung herself on Effy.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. Oh God, I didn't think… I'm such and idiot. Please talk to me babe, please don't shut me out." She mumbled, kissing every inch of Effy she could reach., the string of apologies continued. Emily burst into the room seconds later, panting wildly.

"I'm sorry, I was just in the bathroom… I didn't realise she would run up here." She panted, Naomi walked up to her and put her arms around her. She felt Emily relax into her.

"It's not your fault, Katie. I'm sorry I overreacted." Effy murmured, Naomi watched her grab on to Katie, hugging her to her. She silently led Emily out of the room and closed the door behind them.

"We're just gonna leave them in there?" Emily asked, eyeing the door curiously.

"Unless you want front row seats to the make up part of the fight, I'd say yes." Naomi snorted, grinning at the look of disgust on Emily's face. "What did you say to Katie, by the way?"

"I told her she was an idiot for thinking that Effy was mad because she hadn't told her about mum being there. She was handling herself just fine, until the screaming started." Emily shrugged, but Naomi saw the heartbroken look on her face. She hugged her close, wanting to protect her from the world.

"Are you staying here tonight?" She murmured into her hair, closing her eyes as she felt Emily hug her back. She could feel herself relax into Emily's arms, breathing in deeply. It was amazing how relaxed Emily made her feel, she hoped she did the same for her in return. She sighed happily when she felt Emily sink into her.

"I'm sorry, I promised dad I'd sleep at home tonight. He didn't want to antagonize my mum more." Naomi heard the sadness in Emily's voice, knew that this was tearing her apart. She kissed the top of her head. "You know I'd love to stay, don't you?"

"I know, Emily. I know." She answered, shifting slightly so she could look into Emily's eyes. "It something you have to do, not something you want to do." She let herself get lost in Emily's eyes, just taking a moment to memorize the colours in them. She lifted a hand to cup her cheek and felt Emily lean into it. "I love you." Naomi murmured, she could swear she saw glints of gold in Emily's eyes as she said it.

"I love you too." Emily sighed, leaning further into Naomi. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt Emily's breath on her lips, she could feel her heart rate pick up when their lips finally connected. The kiss turned heated in a moment, tongues intertwining. She was vaguely aware of being pushed backwards, her back hit the wall with a dull thud. She didn't feel the pain, to occupied with trying to get her hands on skin.

"When do you have to be back?" She gasped as Emily refocused her attention on her neck. She bit her lip to hold in a groan, clinging to the red head, loving the way their bodies seemed to fit together.

"Too soon." Emily husked between placing kisses on Naomi's collarbone. Naomi felt Emily's hands slide up her sides, spread wide as if she was trying to touch as much skin as possible. "Maybe if we're quick?" She murmured, pressing herself a little harder against Naomi.

"Last time we tried to be quick…" She shuddered as Emily licked a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, she could feel her smile against her, making it clear that she'd noticed the reaction. ".. Oh God… What was I saying?" She let her head thud into the wall, turning it, giving Emily more room to continue what she was doing. "Oh yeah, we were almost late for dinner. If it hadn't been for Effy banging on the door…" She let the rest of the statement drop, stifling a moan.

"Mmm… I remember…" She breathed in Naomi's ear. "I also remember you telling me you'd let me have my way with you later… I'd say this is later, wouldn't you?." She punctuated the last statement by licking her earlobe. Naomi felt her knees starting to give out. She groaned out loud, unable to hold it in any more.

"You're killing me here." She whispered back, grabbing Emily's shoulders to stop her from continuing the assault on her neck.. "If you don't stop I'm just going to have to pick you up and carry you to bed." She inched closer to Emily again. "And you know… You're not getting out of there until tomorrow." She smirked as she felt Emily shudder and saw her eyes go glassy. She loved that she could make Emily lose herself like that. Emily was tugging on her shirt, but Naomi just backed them towards the other wall, trapping them together.

"Jesus!" Emily hissed as her back hit the wall. Naomi felt hands in her hair, dragging her mouth down. Emily's mouth was suddenly on hers, hungry, relentless. Hands were everywhere, gripping hips, sneaking under shirts, messing up hair. Naomi wasn't sure who moaned first, didn't really care. Emily's legs were suddenly around her waist, she couldn't remember lifting her up, details lost in a cloud of lust. She wanted to make Emily moan again, wanted to make her scream out her name. Growling, she shifted her grip, steadying her wobbling knees. Somehow she managed to get them across the hall again, slamming them both against her bedroom door.

"You guys do know you're still at the wrong side of that door, don't you?" Came Effy's amused voice from somewhere down the hall.

"Not for long." Emily panted out, reaching behind her to get the door. Naomi just ignored the interruption, biting gently on Emily's neck, licking the spot when she was done. She could barely hear Effy chuckle, too focussed on the breathy moan coming from Emily at her actions. Emily's hand had stilled at the doorknob, head tilting.

"Emily! What the hell?" Naomi was suddenly aware of Katie's voice, it was piercing. She groaned for all the wrong reasons, reluctantly letting go of Emily. Her erratic heartbeat echoed in her ears, she could feel Emily's heart beating just as erratically, hear her uneven breaths in her ear. She closed her eyes, trying to get herself under control. To her surprise, she felt Emily tighten her hold, fumbling to open the door.

"Shut up Katie." She growled, Naomi felt a fresh wave of arousal sweep through her. "Don't you dare move Naomi!" She whispered quietly, grabbing Naomi's hands and putting them back on her ass, Naomi gave it a squeeze, grinning into Emily's neck. "You're gonna go home and you're gonna cover for me." She said louder, obviously directing it at Katie. Naomi couldn't see Katie's expression, but Emily obviously could. "And don't look at me like that, you owe me for all the times I've covered for you." She punctuated the statement by finally getting the door open, Naomi didn't wait for Katie's reply before she was through it.

Emily slid off Naomi as soon as the door was closed, pushing her towards the bed. Her shirt was off before her legs even hit it, she sat down heavily. The hunger in Emily's eyes doubled, shedding her own shirt. Naomi let her eyes roam over her skin, mapping it. She licked her lips and hooked her finger in a belt loop, dragging Emily towards her. Their lips met, unhurriedly. There was suddenly no rush anymore, no need for frenzy. Well, not yet. Naomi grinned into the kiss, letting her fingers dance over Emily's skin on her back, barely gracing it.

"Tell me." She growled, tugging Emily down so she talk directly into Emily's ear. "When you felt my Flickers… Did you feel all of them?" She licked a path down Emily's neck, nipping at her collarbone.

"Yes." Emily gasped, threading her hands into Naomi's hair. Naomi's fingertips ghosted along Emily's stomach, circling upwards.

"Did you lay in your bed in London, feeling me all over you?" She drew back, watching her hand trail upwards, the fingertip circling a nipple, the way Emily's body reacted to her touch never ceased to fascinate her. She raised her eyes to meet Emily's, almost black eyes stared back into hers.

"Yes." Emily rasped out again, Naomi smiled lazily, refocusing her attention on Emily's body. She let her fingers glide back down, loving the way the muscles twitched under them. She reached the top of Emily's pants and popped open the button effortlessly, dragging down the zipper excruciatingly slow. She felt Emily's hands flex in her hair, trying to drag her closer, she resisted the pull.

"Tell me about it." She breathed, finally allowing herself to be tugged forward, her lips now gracing the same path her fingertips had taken only moments before.

"Naomi…" Emily husked, arching into Naomi's touch. Naomi drew back a little again, still only barely touching Emily. A pained groan reached her ears.

"I know…" Naomi murmured into her skin. "Just tell me what it was like." She let her fingernails scrape lightly down Emily's back, tugging at her pants when she got to them. Emily stepped out of them as soon as they dropped, leaving her in only her underwear.

"I was doing my homework…" Emily started, her voice so gravely it was almost a sin. Naomi was sure she could listen to her read the dictionary and still be ridiculously turned on. Naomi stared into those magnificently dark eyes, so much darker then usual and smiled. Emily continued.

"…sitting on my bed. Suddenly I could have sworn your lips were on mine." Naomi reached up and dragged her down, kissing her passionately. Emily thrust her tongue into her mouth, gripping the back of Naomi's head, no doubt trying to keep her in place. She moaned as Naomi lightly bit her lip and drew back again.

"And then?" Naomi asked breathlessly, surprised to hear that her own voice sounded rather husky too. Emily groaned at the sound of it, her eyes opening slowly.

"It was like someone pushed me down, I felt like I had no control." She licked her lips. Naomi growled, gripping Emily's hips and managed to flip Emily on to the bed, hovering over her. She held herself up, willing herself to not simply sink down onto Emily. To not lose what little restraint she felt she still had left. She let her eyes drift over the flush rising on Emily's chest, the way it was heaving. She swallowed heavily, continuing upwards, seeing how Emily's red hair contrasted with her white comforter.

"I could smell smoke." Emily continued, her hands gripping onto Naomi's back, flicking open her bra. "Smell the wet earth around me" She grabbed the straps and pulled them down, eyes roaming the newly exposed skin above her. "When I closed my eyes I could almost picture you, hear the way you spoke to me, but I could never quite make it out." She rose up, pressing her body against Naomi's. "Then I flipped us over." Naomi was suddenly under Emily, not quite sure how she got there. "It was all a bit weird, I could feel you when I closed my eyes, but you were never there when I opened them." Naomi looked up at Emily's closed eyes, feeling her hand trail down between her breasts.

"Open your eyes, Emily. I'm here, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." She reached up and ran her thumb along Emily's cheekbone, running her hand up into Emily's hair. "The house could be on fire and I still wouldn't go anywhere, not without you." Emily opened her eyes, tears sparkling in them. "I'm real." Naomi managed to get out, the emotions in Emily's eyes so clear it made her loose her breath.

"I need to feel you." Emily mumbled, getting to her knees, tugging at the remainders of Naomi's clothes. Naomi knew the feeling, it was part of the reason why it was so hard to be away from Emily. It was the fear of finding our it was all in her head, that she'd somehow imagined it all. She sat up, helping Emily take everything off. She flopped back down on the bed when they were done, watching Emily as she rid herself off her last piece of clothing too. She reached out her arm to her when Emily looked back up, spreading her legs to make room for her. Emily grabbed on eagerly, almost throwing herself onto Naomi.

"See?" Naomi said. "All real." She still clung to Emily like she was a life raft though, needing to reassure herself just as much. She could feel everything, every heartbeat, every breath, as she buried her face in Emily's hair.

"I might need more proof." Emily husked, raising herself up to look into Naomi's eyes. The fire was back in them, it made Naomi grin.

"Is that so?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow. "And just how did you want me to prove I'm real?" She ran her hands down Emily's back, pulling her closer again.

"Oh, I don't know…"Emily hummed. "Any suggestions?" She barely let Emily finish, before flipping them over again.

"I have a few." She answered, grinning at Emily. "And they all start like this…" She leant down and kissed her gently, she only let it last for a second. "How's that? Believe I'm real yet?" She drew further back, letting her hands slide up Emily's stomach. Emily shook her head, biting her lips, eyes sparkling. "Hmm… I'll have to do something about that." She inched her hand upwards, stroking the underside of Emily's breast.

"Shut up and kiss me." Emily husked, gripping Naomi's hair, dragging her down to her lips. Naomi smiled, feeling Emily do the same. She felt Emily's hands leave her hair, scraping lightly down her back. She shivered, felt Emily arch into her when she brushed her hand lightly over her breast. Emily broke their kiss, gasping, Naomi let her lips trail down her chin, nibbling on an earlobe.

She loved how responsive Emily was, the small gasps, the low moans. The way her nails dug in harder when she licked a path downwards on her neck, the way her body surged up to get closer to Naomi's. She followed the collarbone, peppering kisses all over it, licking the hollow at the base of her throat. That earned her another gasp, she smirked into the skin, continuing down. Her mouth closed over a nipple, hand gripping onto Emily's hip. Emily moaned louder, arching up again, fingers clawing at her back. She was going to have marks all the way down it, but right now, she really couldn't care less.

She slid her mouth across Emily's chest, hand coming up automatically to cover the breast she'd just abandoned, she could feel the steady thumping under her lips. "Naomi…" She closed her eyes, loving the way her name sounded, the groan following it. She growled as Emily's hands came up into her hair, gripping tightly, tugging at her. She let go of the nipple with a slight pop, raising her head to meet Emily's gaze.

"Emily…" She sighed, licking her lips. She wanted to kiss her way down Emily's body, wanted to taste every inch of her. The hands in her hair told her Emily wanted something else, they were still tugging lightly. She sighed again, placing a light kiss on the spot just above Emily's heart and let herself be tugged back up.

"I want you up here." Emily whispered, her breath coming in pants, Naomi could feel each exhalation play across her own lips. "I need to see you. I want you to watch what you do to me." Their lips touched, sending sparks all the way down to Naomi's toes. She understood perfectly what Emily wanted, she smiled into the kiss, letting her tongue trace Emily's bottom lip. She leant back, grinning as Emily tried to follow.

"I get it." She murmured. "I'm not going anywhere." She brought a hand up, brushing some of Emily's hair out of her face. "I love you." She kissed the tip of Emily's nose, making her scrunch up her nose and giggle. Naomi sighed. "I'm so ridiculously in love with you." She breathed, making the giggles stop in an instant. Emily's eyes were burning into hers, she felt like drowning in them.

"Good. 'Cause I'm ridiculously in love with you too" Emily answered, surging up and claiming Naomi's lips. She could feel herself sink into the kiss, wanting to feel Emily all around her. She let her hand drift down Emily's body, felt the kiss turn more sloppy as she shifted her own body. Emily broke the kiss with a gasp, eyes flying open a second later, searching for Naomi's. Naomi met her eyes, trying to let all the love she felt shine through.

She loved watching Emily like this, her head thrown back, gasping for air. Eyes struggling to stay open, never leaving her own, a flush working it's way up her face. She could feel Emily's nails digging into her bicep, feel her tremble underneath her. She leant her head onto Emily's forehead, her own breath coming in bursts as well. She shuddered as their nipples brushed together, Emily's pupils seemed to dilate just a fraction more, threatening to swallow her whole. Naomi moaned, feeling Emily clench around her at the sound. She felt her heart thud just a little bit stronger, responding to the way Emily was falling apart because of her.

Emily was pushing herself just a little bit harder into her hand, clinging just a little bit more to her arm. For a moment, the entire world seemed to hold its breath, hanging on the edge of something huge. Naomi let her eyes roam down Emily's body, watching the way her back was arching off the bed, the vein in her neck that was throbbing still. The sweat on her skin, a drop of it running down between her breasts. She wanted to lick it off, but was torn not really wanting to move from where she was right now. Hearing the way Emily's breath hitched, seeing her mouth hanging open in a silent moan, the unfocused look in her eyes. She kept her own eyes locked with Emily's and pushed into her one last time.

Everything seemed to happen at once, sound rushing out of Emily, her eyes widening. She could feel her muscles spasm, fluttering around her fingers. Emily's hands grabbing at anything she could get them on, pulling Naomi on top of her, holding her in place. Her eyes finally slammed shut, head hitting the pillow heavily.

"You are so amazing." Naomi breathed, peppering kisses all over Emily's face. "So goddamn beautiful." She sighed. Emily just grunted under her, Naomi tried to roll off her, but Emily just tightened her hold.

"Stay." She managed to get out. "I love the way you feel on top of me." Naomi just chuckled, kissing her again, before moving her head to rest on Emily's shoulder.

"I love you." She murmured again, closing her eyes, revelling in the feel of Emily's naked body against hers. She had never felt so connected to someone, never wanted to feel it with anyone else. She smiled when Emily's hand came up and started stroking her hair, she wished they could stay like this forever.

"I don't want to move." Emily sighed, echoing her thoughts.

"Then don't." Naomi answered, shifting slightly, grabbing an end of the comforter and covering what she could with it with them still on top of it.

"But what about you?" Emily husked seductively into her ear.

"What about me?" She sighed, hissing as Emily brushed her fingertips across some of the scratches she had made earlier.

"You know what I mean." She punctuated the statement by squeezing her ass playfully. Naomi chuckled again, placing a kiss on Emily's neck.

"I thought you said you didn't want to move? That would definitely mean you would have to move." Emily's answer was to roll them over.

"I changed my mind." She smirked, taking Naomi's breath away with the hunger she saw in her eyes.

"Fine." She sighed. "If you must." She smirked back, offering herself to Emily.

"I would say it's a matter of life or death." Emily whispered, crashing their lips together, swallowing Naomi's answer.

* * *

Several hours later, she was humming to herself in the kitchen. Smiling as she rummaged through the cupboards, looking for something to eat. Her mind wandered as she pulled out some Garibaldi's, she remembered the playful growl Emily had sent her downstairs with and grinned wildly in the empty kitchen. She put the biscuits down next to the fruit she'd found earlier and turned to the fridge, looking for something to drink, exclaiming triumphantly when she came across a couple bottles of water.

"Someone's happy." The voice startled her, she jumped, banging her head in the process.

"Jesus, Eff." She muttered, rubbing the sore spot on her head. "I should make you wear a bell or something." Effy smirked at her, lighting up the cigarette between her lips. Naomi shook her head and placed the water next to the rest she was bringing with her upstairs.

"I'm loving the outfit." Effy said, eyebrow raised and looking smug. Naomi frowned and looked down at her clothes. The t-shirt was too small, because it was Emily's, the shorts were barely hanging up, because she'd forgotten to tie them up. She grinned when she looked back up.

"Thanks, I thought I should make an effort. Never know who you're gonna run into, you know?" Effy grinned back. "You have another one of those?" She indicated to the cigarette in Effy's hand.

"Sure." Effy slid the pack across the table, Naomi smiled gratefully at her and lit one too and sat down on a chair. She slid the pack back, studying the hunched shoulders, the slightly forlorn look on Effy's face.

"So… Why are you down here? What's troubling you?" Naomi asked, watching Effy stiffen slightly.

"I don't know what you mean… I just came down for a smoke, heard something in the kitchen and decided to check if you were a burglar or something." She answered lamely and shifted in her chair. She met Naomi's eyes with defiance, silently asking her to drop it.

"Ah yes, I'm clearly a burglar, come to steal whatever's not nailed down and shit…" She huffed, rolling her eyes. "Come on Eff, tell your aunty Naomi what's on your mind." She batted her eyelashes, pouting at Effy.

"You're way too perky. I liked you better when you were all angsty and moping." Effy replied, shaking her head. She couldn't hide the slight quirk of her lips, the smile that crept up. "I blame Emily for this, she's ruined my perfectly good brooding buddy."

"Yeah yeah, get on with it. I left a very hot, very naked, red head in my bed, I'd like to get back to her some time tonight." Naomi smirked at Effy, taking another drag of the cigarette.

"Alright already. I couldn't sleep…" She said, not giving anything away. Naomi sighed and stared pointedly at her. Effy rolled her eyes and continued. "I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about the difference between my relationship and yours." She stubbed her cigarette out, lifting her eyes to Naomi. "There were also some very interesting noises coming from across the hall… I think someone found God, several times." She smirked, Naomi just grinned.

"And what are your thoughts on the differences in our relationships?" She asked, ignoring the last statement Effy made. There was a strange light in Effy's eyes, a sadness, that bothered her. She shifted her chair closer, close enough to put her hand over Effy's.

"Apart from the fact that you two are clearly made for each other?" Effy smiled sadly. "See, I'm not sure Katie and I are on the same page. I think we're in two totally different stages in the relationship. I don't think we're ready for each other. I love her, she loves me, but…" She trailed off, her eyes focussed on a point above Naomi's head. She looked lost, Naomi realised.

"I don't know how to help you with that… I don't think anyone but Katie can help you with that." She answered, at a complete loss for what else to tell her. "Maybe you should talk to her about it?" She asked tentatively.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." Effy sighed, taking her hand out from underneath Naomi's, leaning back in her chair. "It's probably all in my head anyways, we're going to be fine." She smiled, but Naomi didn't believe it for a second. "I do love her, you know. I just… I just think she looks at this relationship a bit differently then I do. I think we might have gotten together a bit too soon. Maybe… I was too eager… I wanted it too much. I saw what you and Emily had, and I just wanted that too, but I think that maybe, just maybe, I should have waited a while longer. I should have been patient, but I was falling in love almost before I knew it was happening." Naomi wanted to ask what she was talking about, wanted to ask what she knew about herself and Emily. She sat watching Effy light another cigarette instead, not quite knowing how to ask.

"Naomi? Did you get lost on your way back to bed?" Emily's voice drifted into the kitchen, moments before she came through the door. "Oh, hi Effy, I didn't know you were up." The grin on her face slipped into a polite smile. She tugged absentmindedly at the t-shirt she had on, Naomi smirked when she saw it was her old pig shirt.

"I'm sorry, I kept her down here. I couldn't sleep." Effy shot Naomi a glance. "I'll just… go back to bed. Maybe text Katie, see if she's still up. Good night you two, have fun." She smirked at them both, before leaving.

"Hey you." Emily said, eyes on Naomi. She slid onto her lap, slinging her arms around her neck. "I missed you…" She frowned a little. "Is that bad? Missing you when you've only been gone for 20 minutes?"

"Hey yourself." Naomi smiled at Emily. "And no, it's not bad, because I missed you too." She hugged her closer, inhaling deeply, smiling into the crook of her neck. "Promise me you'll tell me if you have doubts about us?" She heard the uncertainty in her own voice and winced.

"Of course I will." Emily pulled back, looking into her eyes. "Why would you…?" She trailed off, Naomi bit her lip, looking back up at her. "Effy has doubts about Katie, that's why you stayed down here, isn't it?" Naomi sighed, closing her eyes. She debated if she should downplay it, or just tell Emily all of it. "Hey, look at me." She opened her eyes again, met Emily's eyes and saw understanding and love shining back at her. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I get it, Effy is your friend." Emily smiled.

"You're amazing." Naomi murmured, sighing again. "She thinks they're in different places in the relationship. Thinks they got together too soon, whatever that means." She grasped Emily's hand, intertwining their fingers. "Do you think… I mean… do you think we… umm…" She couldn't get it out.

"Naomi, I love you. I want to be with you every moment of the day and night. I'm pretty sure I can't sleep without you, I know I go crazy when you're somewhere I can't see you, or touch you. I don't know if I believe in all this fate business, but I believe in you. I believe in us. You're stuck with me, I'm yours." She raised an eyebrow, smiling at Naomi. "Does that answer you question?"

"Stay with me?" Naomi asked, her heart soaring.

"I'm right here." Emily answered, looking bemused.

"No, I mean… Move in with me." She looked at Emily, trying to gauge her reaction. "We'd have to ask your dad of course and I know it's still early and…"

"Yes." Emily interjected.

"Yes? Really?" She squeezed Emily's hand, still trying to read her.

"Really." Emily grinned. "I love you, you idiot. Of course, I'll move in with you." She leant down, placing a kiss on Naomi's lips. "You do know this means that we'll be that stereotypical lesbian couple, right?" She asked, hand still cupping Naomi's cheek.

"Hmm, maybe I should take you out on our second date then, so you can bring the U-haul." Emily laughed, eyes sparkling, it made Naomi smile. " I love you too, Emily"

"Good." Emily answered, giving her another kiss before climbing off her. "Now bring the food and follow me, I feel like celebrating." She threw Naomi a wink and a smirk over her shoulder.

"Emily Fitch." Naomi murmured as she watched her go. "You are going to be the death of me… And I wouldn't want to go any other way."

* * *

**You should all know what to do down here by now... **


	32. Epilogue

**A/N: This has a little bit of everything. Enjoy.**

**Epilogue.**

_6 years later:_

"Emily, I love you. All of you. I love the way your eyes light up when you hear your favourite song on the radio. I love that you leave your clothes all over the floor next to our bed. I love that you send me text in the middle of the day, just to let me know you're thinking of me. I love that you steal my tomatoes when we go out for dinner, just because you know I don't like them. I love your voice in the mornings just as much as I love that you're the first thing I see every time I wake up . I love your smile, your eyes, the goose bumps you still get when I touch you… I just love you… And…" Naomi paused, shoving her hand through her hair, before letting out a frustrated noise.

"This is just stupid." She sighed, looking at herself in the mirror, blue eyes stared back at her. "I should just ask her… Just come right out and ask her. How freaking hard can it be?" She looked down at the box in her hand, opening it and looking inside. The two simple silver rings were mocking her, mocking the inability to get her shit together and ask. She sighed again. "You are a coward." She told her reflection pointedly, before putting the rings back in her pocket and exiting the bathroom.

"Still haven't asked her, huh?" Came a disinterested voice from the couch. Naomi froze, spinning around. Blue eyes met another pair of blue eyes and a smirk.

"Effy! When the hell did you get here?" She crossed the space between them in two strides, not that the apartment was all that big too begin with, but still. She dragged Effy to her feet and gave her a bone crushing hug. To her surprise, Effy hugged back just as tightly.

"Thought I'd catch an earlier train." They drew back from one another, Naomi let her eyes roam over Effy's form, she looked good, a bit thinner maybe, but good. "I missed you, both of you." Effy looked around the apartment expectantly, as if it just occurred to her that something, or rather someone, was missing. "Where is Emily?"

"She'll be here any minute, she's just gone across the hall to talk to…" Naomi trailed off, not knowing quite how to proceed. Effy eyed her, quirking an eyebrow. "Anyways, you want anything? I think we have juice, possibly a bottle or two of beer somewhere… Vodka perhaps? We were going to go shopping when Emily came back, but you kind of came a bit early." She rambled, making her way to the kitchen, hoping Effy would just forget her little slip up.

"It's been 4, almost 5 years, Naomi. You can say her name, you know." Effy followed her, hopping up on a kitchen counter. "Is it ok to smoke in here, or…?" Naomi turned to look at her, seeing the slight tightness in the set of her jaw, indicating that it really wasn't ok to talk about certain things, almost 5 years or not.

"Sorry." She grinned sheepishly, letting it slide for now. "And yeah, just don't get the ash everywhere, Emily will kill you." She turned and fetched an ashtray from the cupboard and handed it over. Effy was looking at her with twinkling eyes, chuckling to herself. "What?" She asked bewildered, not understanding why Effy had that look on her face.

"Nothing." Effy shrugged, still grinning. "It's just cute, that's all."

"Cute?" Naomi asked, confused. "What's cute?" She handed Effy the bottle of beer she found in the fridge, twisting the cap of her own bottle and taking a sip. She hopped up on the counter too, turning to face the other girl.

"You and Emily." Effy answered, shrugging again. Naomi saw her eyes drift across the apartment, taking it in, stopping at the board where they'd tacked up all the postcards people had sent them over the years, and a few they'd bought themselves. "Gina says hi, by the way. Told me to tell you to call more." She smirked at the eye roll coming from Naomi.

"Figured you'd been home, either that or you developed some new skills on your travels." She grinned, Effy looked bemused. "She gave you the key I left for you, right?" She clarified, watching the look of understanding fly over Effy's features. They sat in silence for a few moments, sipping their beers, before Naomi jumped off the counter again. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."

"Grand tour? That's a little ambitious, don't you think?" She watched the small grin on Effy's face, shaking her head.

"Be nice, or I'll have to kick you out… Or have you sleep in the tub." She grinned back at her and turned around, not bothering waiting for the reply, walking towards the middle of the living room. "This is obviously the living room and kitchen." She swept her arms out, as if she was showing off a much larger apartment, not one that had a tiny kitchen corner attached to a modest sized living room.

"Very impressive." Effy countered. "I love how spacious it is." Irony laced her voice, Naomi shot her a half hearted glare. Effy held up her hands defensively. "Sorry… It does look very cosy though, and it feels like home."

"Yeah." Naomi's face softened. "But I'm biased." She shrugged. "It doesn't matter where I am, anywhere Emily is… Is home." She stared into space for a moment, grinning stupidly, picturing the day they'd moved in. The happy look on Emily's face, after they'd gotten all the boxes unpacked, the memory never failed to give her butterflies. Effy nudged her after a while. "What? Oh yeah, I was showing you around, sorry." She said sheepishly, wiping the grin off her face.

"Don't be." Effy answered, shrugging. "So what's next?"

"Well, bathroom is this way. It's actually quite big and one of the reasons we went for this place to begin with, plus it was in our price range and the location was right." She opened the door to the bathroom. "This where we keep the towels. Feel free to use whatever we have of products and stuff, I think we even have some spare toothbrushes somewhere." She opened a closet, rummaging through it for a second, before dragging out the toothbrushes. "Here we are." She grinned.

"Very organized." Effy smirked.

"Yeah, well…" She smiled, handing Effy one of the toothbrushes, shrugging. "Emily trained me well and all that." She laughed. Effy smirked at her and shook her head.

"Naomi?" The front door slammed, Emily's voice drifting through the apartment. "Katie is freaking out cause Effy's coming, she asking all these questions and I might have to go back later. You'd think this whole mess would just…" Emily halted midstream, eyes bugging out of her head as Naomi and Effy came out of the bathroom. "Oh… Umm… You're here early…" She finished lamely, eyes trained on Effy.

"I am." Effy simply stated, Naomi could tell she was closing down and off. The tightness of her jaw was back, miniscule traces of pain flashing over her features. Naomi felt her heart go out to her, and gently touched her back.

"Well…" Emily mumbled, shifting her feet, her eyes flickered to Naomi. "I didn't know you were already here. I'm sorry if I… Umm.. Well…" She gesticulated, waving her hand around. Naomi fought down a smile, squeezing Effy's shoulder in a show of support, Effy shot her a look of gratitude.

"It's ok." Effy answered. "I'm ok. Don't worry about it Emily, now get over here and give me a hug." Emily looked taken aback for a moment, before grinning delightedly, stepping into Effy's already open arms.

"Now that's all settled, did Naomi show you where you're going to sleep?" Emily asked as she stepped back, hand automatically finding Naomi's.

"Didn't get that far." Naomi answered before Effy had a chance to. "I was just showing her the bathroom when you walked in."

"Does this mean I don't have to sleep in the tub? Cause as nice as it looked, I doubt I'd be able to fit in it." Effy grinned.

"You'd be surprised." Emily mumbled, blushing slightly as Effy smirked. Naomi squeezed her hand. "Anyways…" She continued, motioning with her hand towards a door. "This is sort of our study, or library, and our guestroom. It's not all that big, but you have a window and a bed."

"I'm sure I've slept worse places, Emily." She stepped through the door and froze, Naomi grinned as Effy's mouth fell open, eyes trained on the wall of books in front of her.

"It sort of got out of hand somewhere along the line." She explained as Effy turned around and looked at them questioningly. "Remember I told you I worked at a bookstore for a while? Well, I got a discount and it sort of just snowballed into this." She shrugged.

"That would explain the lack of books in the living room." Effy nodded, stifling a yawn. "I think I need a nap. Between the jetlag and Gina…" She yawned again.

"Point made." Naomi nodded, remembering when Emily and her had gotten back from their trip. The jetlag had been bad enough, but add her mum and her bizarre sleep patterns and they'd still been completely exhausted by the time they left for uni. "Why don't you get some sleep and we'll go get some groceries or something." She looked at Emily who smiled back at her, nodding.

"You sure?" Effy asked, eyeing the bed with interest.

"Yeah." Naomi chuckled. "I'm sure. Get some sleep." She paused on her way out of the room, letting go of Emily's hand. She watched the sway of Emily's hips for a second, before turning back towards Effy. "Anything you want us to pick up for you?" Effy had flopped down on the bed the moment they'd turned around apparently, and just mumbled incoherently. Naomi laughed and shook her head, closing the door behind her.

"Let me guess." Emily husked, already putting her shoes on. "She just passed out?" The rumble of her voice drew Naomi closer to her, it never failed to make her want to just touch the red head in some way. Emily looked up, a smile creeping up her face as Naomi just opened her arms and raised an eyebrow. "I take it that's a yes." She smirked, closing the distance, sighing contentedly as she closed her arms around Naomi.

"Out like a light, doesn't even begin to cover it." Naomi murmured into her hair, breathing in the scent that was uniquely Emily. "And that means I get to do this without her smirking in the background." She whispered, shifting her stance a little, trailing her lips lightly over Emily's cheek. Emily tugged her closer, wasting no time in pushing Naomi back against the wall, kissing her like they'd been away from each other for days.

"Do you have any idea what you do to me? What you've always done to me?" Emily breathed against her neck, pressing light kisses all the way down it. Her hands were roaming dangerously close to the box that were in Naomi's pocket still. Naomi stifled a moan, using all of her willpower to grab Emily's hands, flipping them around.

"I have a pretty good idea." She smirked. "Because it's what you do to me." She kept her hold on Emily's hands, angling the pocket away from Emily's body, her other thigh finding it's way between Emily's legs. The breathless moan the action cause, made her smirk deepen before she surged forward again, claiming Emily's lips in another kiss. She could feel the slight gyration of hips and couldn't resist letting the hands go, grabbing on to them roughly. She knew they should stop, knew Effy was sleeping just a door away, but with another moan from Emily all thoughts that didn't have anything to do with the red head she had pinned to the wall, fled her mind.

"This is slightly insane." Emily groaned as Naomi managed to get a hand between them. Head slamming backwards, hips thrusting faster. Naomi growled, hand finding skin, sliding downwards. Intent on showing Emily just how insane this really was. She was vaguely aware of Emily tugging on her hair, the harsh breathing in her ear, the dull roar of her own heartbeat. All she was focussed on was the heat radiating from where her hand was headed, the skin under her lips. She wanted Emily to fall apart, the gasp she more felt then heard as her fingers somehow managed to get between her thigh and Emily, made her growl again.

"I'll show you insane." She was aware that it didn't make any sense, didn't care. She managed to lift Emily off her thigh, get her pants open and gained a bit more room to move. She grinned against Emily's neck, using her body to keep Emily in place as her hand once again slid down.

"Oh God!" Emily clung to her. Desperately turning her head, mouth seeking something to latch on to. Naomi wasted no time, crashing their lips almost violently together. She wanted to devour Emily, there was no other way to put it. Emily slammed her head back against the wall again, eyes unfocussed. Naomi redoubled her efforts, increasing her rhythm.

"Do you know how breathtaking you look right now? Head thrown back, eyes glassy?" She murmured, surprised at the words spilling from her. "I will never get tired of watching you look like this, of feeling you pressed against me like this. I love the way you feel, the way you moan as you get closer." As if on cue, Emily let out a rumbling moan, biting her lip. Naomi drank in the sight, the sound, licking her own lips. "I love that you cling to me just a little bit tighter each time I do this." She thrust a bit faster, just a little harder, ripping another moan from Emily.

"Don't stop, just please…" Emily breathed. "I need you to… Jesus! Naomi!" Her voice was raw, desperation clear in it. Naomi closed her eyes, burying her face in Emily's neck.

"The way you say my name, the way you claw at my back. I love all of it." She wasn't sure Emily was hearing her, but the way she tightened her hold instinctively when Naomi spoke was amazing. "You're perfect, so fucking perfect." Naomi sighed, feeling Emily clench around her fingers. "I love you so much." The answering groan from Emily made her head spin, the feeling of her spasming around her fingers, threw her over the edge as well.

They stood there, both breathing heavily, still clinging to each other. Naomi drew her hand out and felt Emily shudder. She giggled, making Emily laugh too.

"Where the hell did that come from?" Emily smirked, pulling Naomi's head from the crook of her neck, eyes locking. "Not that I'm complaining or anything." She grinned again, but it slipped away as she stared further into Naomi's eyes. It felt like she was looking right through her, Naomi smiled softly.

"I don't know… You just… smelled really nice." She finished lamely, leaning into the hand Emily placed on her cheek. Emily laughed, shaking her head before placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"I smelled nice? Really? Remind me to let you sniff me more…" She grinned happily, Naomi stepped back a little, letting Emily's leg slide down her own. "And just where do you think you're going?" Emily smirked, holding on as Naomi tried to step back further.

"I was going to go wash my hands and change my underwear." She raised an eyebrow, grinning at the look of realisation that crossed Emily's face. "So we can go to the shops?"

"Oh god, Effy…" Emily exclaimed, head slumping forward.

"No… I'm Naomi. I thought we'd established that." She shook her head, lips twitching. "Really, we've been together for six years, you should know my name is Naomi by now… Specially since you just said it in a quite lovely way." That earned her a smack on her arm, but the mirth in Emily's eyes was beautiful. She smiled happily back at her, head screaming for her to just ask her, just ease her hand into her pocket and take out that stupid box. She didn't though, she wanted the perfect moment. She wanted to make it special.

"What are you thinking about?" Emily asked quietly, hand playing with a strand of hair.

"You." Naomi answered.

"Marry me." Emily's eyes widened comically as soon as the words were out of her mouth. "I didn't… I had a speech… I was going to get rings and there was going to be flowers… I was going to take you somewhere nice and…"

"Yes." Naomi answered, cutting her off. "And unlike you, I actually did buy rings." She whipped the box out, opening it. "I thought we should both have one. They're not much, but…"

"Naomi…" Emily breathed, eyes darting between her and the rings.

"I was going to ask you too. You know, had a speech prepared, wanted to take you somewhere special, maybe buy you flowers?" She grinned sheepishly at Emily, basically telling her the same thing Emily had just said to her.

"Flowers are overrated anyways." Emily grinned back at her. "Besides, I seem to remember you asking me to move in with you while I was in a pig shirt and you were in my clothes."

"Clearly, you're just returning the favour." Naomi nodded, grinning just as wide.

"Clearly." Emily nodded. "Have I told you how much I love you?" Her eyes were still flitting from the rings and Naomi's eyes.

"You just want me because I give you amazing orgasms and because I buy you rings." Naomi countered, unable to wipe the idiotic smile off her face. She took a dramatic step back, dropping to her knee. "Emily Fitch, will you please do up your pants and then tell me you'll marry me again?" She looked up at the brilliant smile on Emily's face, remembering the first time she'd seen it directed at her, hoping she would see it for the rest of her life.

"Of course I'll marry you." Emily answered, ignoring her open pants, sinking to her knees too. She cupped Naomi's face. "Yes, Naomi Campbell. Yes." She beamed, surging forward, knocking them both over. Naomi looked up at her, seeing nothing but love and happiness in her eyes. "Show me the rings?" Emily murmured after a while, bracing herself on one arm looking expectantly at her.

"Hang on." She fumbled a bit, getting the still open box up between them. "I know you didn't want anything too elaborate, so when I found these… I thought, why not?" She looked from the box and met Emily's eyes.

"They're perfect." Emily smiled at her. Naomi smiled back, slipping one of the rings on Emily's finger. Emily grabbed the remaining ring, struggling to hold herself up while putting it Naomi's finger. As soon as she was done, Naomi drew her down and gave her a kiss. None of them noticed the front door opening.

"You couldn't walk the two steps it takes to get to your bedroom? I swear, you two are worse then cats in heat." Katie's voice drifted towards them, sounding exasperated. Emily dragged her lips from Naomi's and slumped down onto Naomi's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Katiekins. I just wanted to kiss my fiancée." Naomi answered with a smirk, stroking Emily's back lightly. She could feel Emily's lips smiling against her neck. She smiled too, but her eyes were trained on the way Katie's face seemed to go slack for a moment, before letting out an ear-splitting roar of sound and practically jumping on top of the both of them.

"OH MY GOD! CONGRATULATIONS!" Naomi winced, both at the added weight and the sound level. Another round of swears and high pitched squealing, threatened to rupture her eardrums. If Katie didn't tone it down, she was going to wake…

"What the actual fuck?" The sound of shuffling followed Effy's voice. "I thought you guys were going to the shops… Oh…" The shuffling sound stopped abruptly. Naomi closed her eyes, groaning. This wasn't exactly how she imagined spending her first few moments after she got engaged. The weight on top of her suddenly lessened. Emily grunted slightly as Katie obviously got off them.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Katie asked, voice dripping with venom. Naomi's eyes flew open, staring into a set of brown eyes above her. Emily grimaced, communicating without words that she wasn't sure of what to do. Naomi squeezed her hand, before motioning her to get up too.

"I was invited, Katie." Effy answered calmly. Naomi looked over at her, trying to gauge her reaction. Emily rolled off her, getting up. Naomi locked eyes with her briefly, reading the panic in them. Getting to her feet, she shielded Emily slightly, giving her time to do up her pants properly. They both remained silent.

"I know that, but you weren't supposed to be here until later." Katie sneered. Naomi felt Emily tug on the back of her shirt, making them back up towards the bathroom.

"Sorry to disappoint." Effy spat out, her face becoming more impassive. Naomi swallowed, this was not good. Not good at all. It was like watching a car crash, she just couldn't look away. The sneer on Katie's face deepened.

"You're good at that, aren't you Eff? Disappointing people." The smile on Katie's face was anything but pretty.

"I'm not the only one there, am I Kay?" Effy's own mocking smile was firmly in place. Emily had somehow managed to manoeuvre them into to the bathroom now, closing the door softly. Naomi blinked, trying to regain some focus.

"We need to do something about those two." She whispered, turning around to face Emily. The pain on her face made Naomi step over to her and enveloping her in a hug. Emily clung to her, breathing in deeply. Naomi could feel some of the tension leave her as she kissed the top of her head. "We'll fix it somehow." She murmured into Emily's hair. "We have to, this can't go on." The sound of glass breaking in the other room, only served to emphasise her point.

"How?" Emily asked quietly. "They can't stay in the same room long enough to actually talk to one another. They still love each other, it's so obvious. The number of times Effy has called you while drunk, crying. Katie hasn't had a real relationship since they broke up. I just don't know how to fix it. I'm not sure it's fixable at all." The sound of the front door slamming shut, reached them. Naomi's looked at the ceiling, not really seeing anything. Her mind whirring as she tried to figure out a way to get the two in the same room long enough. She grinned as the thought came to her, disentangling herself from Emily's arms.

"There is one thing we can do…" She looked at Emily, raising her eyebrow. Emily searched her eyes for a moment, before a slow smile spread over her face. Naomi knew she had caught her meaning, grinning wider.

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Emily asked, obviously wanting to make sure.

"I doubt it." Naomi answered seriously, almost laughing when Emily's face fell. "Cause right now I'm thinking how cute you look with your face scrunched up like that." Emily made a tutting noise, slapping her arm. "Oh, was I not supposed to mention how cute I find you?" She asked innocently, before grinning again.

"Seriously Naomi!" Emily huffed, the only thing betraying the look of annoyance was her lips twitching. "How are we going to make it happen?" She asked, stepping forward onto Naomi's arms again.

"Don't worry, I have a plan." Naomi tightened her hold, grinning into Emily's hair as she told her everything she would need to know. By the time she was done, Emily was grinning just as widely as Naomi was.

* * *

"I'm sorry I ruined your engagement night." Effy slurred several hours later, taking another swig of the vodka bottle. Naomi waved a hand dismissively, drinking from her own bottle of vodka. "You should be spending it with Emily, not listening to me bitch about Katie." She continued, eyes trying to focus on Naomi. Effy was beyond drunk at this point, obviously having trouble seeing anything. "She's just so frustrating!" She exclaimed suddenly. "The way she walks into my life again, shoving her perfect little body in my face… Well, not literally, unfortunately." She giggled for a second, before pointing seriously at a spot somewhere next to Naomi's head. "Don't tell her I said that!"

"I won't." Naomi simply answered, bringing her bottle to her lips again.

"You're a good friend Naomi." Effy mumbled, eyes drooping. "It's just a shitty situation, you know? I can't help wanting her, remembering how she felt, the way she smelled." She continued, shaking her head. "It just wasn't the right time for us. I'd hoped that maybe it would be different this time, but…" She trailed off, but Naomi knew the rest of the words by heart. She'd been saying them over and over since they started drinking. Had explained how they fallen apart all those years ago. She'd even cried at on point. Naomi found the situation completely exhausting and wished that the bottle she was taking swigs out of actually held the vodka she pretended it did and not just water.

"This would be so much easier if I really was drunk." She murmured under her breath. She looked at Effy, judging the way her head lolled and reached a conclusion. "I think you've had enough vodka, Eff." She said out loud. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up and put to bed."

"I don't' think Emily would like it if you put me to bed." Effy giggled sleepily, trying to focus on Naomi again. "Unless she wants to join too… Although, that would probably be weird…" She continued rambling, letting Naomi guide her into the bathroom and sit her down on the toilet lid. "Besides, I don't think you two are the types to share, and I wouldn't want to do that to you. I love you guys, you know that right? So fucking much! Not as much as I love Katie, but you don't need to know that." She suddenly looked around in surprise. "Weren't we just in the living room? Did we teleport? We'd be rich if we could do that…Hey! Where'd the vodka go? I wasn't done with it!" She tried getting back up, but Naomi easily pushed her back down.

"Stay here, I'll get it for you." Naomi answered, suppressing a laugh.

"Such a good friend." Effy mumbled, closing her eyes. Naomi watched her for a few moments, making sure she was really out for the count, before making her way back into the living room and out the front door. She didn't even bother knocking as she entered Katie's apartment.

"Yay! The lezza is here!" Katie squealed excitedly, bounding to her feet as soon as she saw her, Naomi rushed forward when Katie swayed, looking like she was about to fall down. She reached her just as she toppled over, grinning at the way Emily rolled her eyes at the display. "Trying to cop a feel there? One twin not enough for you?" Katie laughed, looking up at her. "You have really pretty eyes, not as pretty as Effy's, but I see why Emily likes them so much." The lisp was much more pronounced, her eyes swimming.

"She's been rambling about Effy non-stop for the last few hours." Emily interjected. Naomi lowered Katie onto the couch.

"Have not!" Katie shrieked, making Naomi wince. "Don't believe a word she's saying, I have not been talking about Effy!" She was looking at Emily, tilting her head slightly. "Did she look thin to you? I think she looked thin. I want to take her home and feed her, just tie her to a chair or to the bed and feed her until she looks healthy again. Mmm… Effy tied to a bed, that was always fun." She stated, staring glassily at a wall, swaying in her seat. Naomi grimaced at Emily, who just smirked and shook her head.

"She's been doing that a lot too." Emily stated, looking at Naomi. "I think I'm going to need a proper drink when this is done."

"Who are you talking to?" Katie slurred, obviously snapping back from wherever she'd been. She looked around wildly, eyes falling on Naomi. "Whoa! When did you get here?" Naomi opened her mouth to answer, but was cut off. "Did you teleport in? You totally did, didn't you? Don't worry, though, I won't tell anyone… Shhh… Emily wouldn't be happy if you got taken away and experimented on. I bet you'd like it if Emily experimented on you, though." She finished, waggling her eyebrows in a perfect imitation of Cook.

"Okaaay…" Emily said. "Katie?" She waited until Katie was somewhat focused on her. "I want to show you my ring, but I left it at our place. Want to come with us to get it?" Katie nodded furiously in reply, grabbing Naomi's hand in one hand and Emily's on the other.

"LET'S GO!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, practically dragging the two of them across the hall. Naomi shot an amused look at Emily, who shook her head again, grinning back. Once they were in Emily and Naomi's apartment, Katie seemed to forget what she was there for, dropping both their hands and flopped happily down on their couch.

"I wonder what the deal is with them and teleporting." Naomi mused out loud. Emily shrugged at her, grinning. "Oh well…" She looked back at Katie. "How close would you say she is to sleeping?" Naomi murmured, moving closer to Emily.

"Oh, I would say any second now." Emily answered, slipping an arm around Naomi's waist. "She's been a nightmare, by the way. Everything she talked about somehow led back to Effy, she even managed to work her into a conversation about James. I think she managed to say that she loved her at least 20 times in the last few hours. And I did not need to know how much better in bed Effy was then any of the guys she'd been with." Emily shuddered slightly.

"Effy was the same." Naomi sighed, watching Katie happily snuggle into the shirt Effy had left on the couch. "I just hope this works."

"It worked for us." Emily answered, quietly. Naomi kissed her temple. They stood in silence a while longer, both watching Katie bring the shirt to her face, inhaling greedily. "I think it's time, why don't you go get the pillow and stuff and check on Effy. I'll go get the food from the fridge." She placed a kiss on the corner of Naomi's lips, leaving Naomi grinning goofily.

"You two are so fucking adorable." Katie mumbled from the couch. "Was me and Effy ever that cute together?"

"Yes, you were." Naomi answered as she passed her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "And we're going to fix it for you... I hope." Katie didn't answer, her eyes already closed and her breathing evened out.

She gathered the things she needed from the spare room, bringing it to the bathroom. She paused in the doorway, her eyes trained on Effy, she didn't stir as Naomi spread out the blankets on the floor. Didn't even grunt when she was shifted on to them. Naomi looked up as Emily walked through the door, depositing the food next to the sink.

"We should get Katie." Emily whispered, looking uncertainly at Naomi. "We're doing the right thing, aren't we?"

"Did you hear Katie? See her practically inhale that shirt. They love each other." Naomi guided Emily out of the bathroom. "Imagine if they never locked us in a room together." She reasoned, trying to convince herself as well. She knew this wasn't the way they should be doing this, but she figured desperate times called for desperate measures. "Now, which end would you like?" She grinned, looking down at Katie.

"I have a better idea." Emily answered, determination in her voice. "KATIE FITCH!" She yelled suddenly, making Naomi jump. "YOU MARCH YOU BUTT OFF THAT COUCH, THIS INSTANT!" Katie rumbled, but got up. "Support her other side." Emily said softly, smiling when she saw the slightly confused look on Naomi's face. "This is what we used to do when Katie was a kid, she used to refuse to go to bed. The only way was to yell at her. It still works."

They walked Katie into the bathroom, watched her lie down next to Effy without even registering what she was doing. Effy turned over automatically, draping her arm across Katie, snuggling closer. Katie sighed, grabbing hold of Effy's shirt, scooting even closer, burying her face in the crook of Effy's neck.

"Still wondering if we're doing the right thing?" Naomi asked, looking at Emily. Emily shook her head, smiling stupidly at the sight. She grabbed the key from the lock on her way out, locking the door as soon as they were on the other side. She stood there for a while, hand resting on the door. Naomi stood silently behind her, just waiting for Emily to turn around.

"Take me to bed." Emily murmured, sounding exhausted. Naomi didn't say a word, just gently laced their fingers together, leading them to the bedroom. Emily raised her arms, letting Naomi undress her, getting under the covers when they were all off. Naomi took her own clothes off, sighing as she slid under the covers too.

"I love you." She dropped a kiss on Emily's nose. "It's going to be ok."

" I love you too." Emily half-yawned, wrapping her arms around Naomi. " And I know…" She trailed off for a second. "Just hold me?" She asked, sounding small.

"I can do that." Naomi answered, tracing her spine. She loved the way they seemed to fit together, the way she could feel Emily's heart beating against her own. She smiled as Emily sighed, already falling asleep. "Sweet dreams." She whispered, closing her own eyes too.

* * *

She jerked awake, confusedly looking around for whatever it was that woke her. Emily's side of the bed was empty. She frowned, pulling back the covers, getting to her feet, grabbing some sweatpants and a t-shirt from a chair. She was just pulling the shirt over her head when she heard it, she groaned realising that this must have been what had jolted her out of her sleep in the first place.

"I DON'T CARE IF WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED, OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, RIGHT NOW!" She couldn't quite make out if it was Katie or Effy, but her money was on the first one. Throwing open the door, she quickly made her way to Emily's side.

"We won't open the door until you two talk to each other." Emily answered, locking eyes with Naomi.

"This is bull-shit!" Effy growled from the other side. "And so not original!"

"Yeah!" Katie agreed. "Get your own fucking ideas!"

"There you go." Naomi answered. "Congratulations, you agree on something. Talk about that." She huffed. "Now me and Emily are going to go use your shower, Katie, and then we're going for a nice walk. Maybe some breakfast?" She directed the last at Emily, who nodded with a grateful smile.

"You can't just leave us in here!" Katie whined.

"Leave it Katie, we did it to them. It's only fair." They heard Effy say.

"That was different!" Katie shouted back. Naomi threw up her hands, practically dragging Emily back to their bedroom, the sound of Katie and Effy arguing at the top of their lungs following them.

"We should just get out of here." Naomi walked towards their closet, dragging out some of her clothes. "I have a feeling it's only going to get worse, before it hopefully gets better." She smiled sadly over her shoulder. Emily nodded, grabbing her own clothes. "Come on… I promise to smell you up in the shower." Naomi smirked as she walked passed Emily, winking at her. Emily laughed, following her.

* * *

The sky was darkening by the time they got back. They hesitated in front of their front door, looking at each other. Naomi drew a deep breath, opening the door. The silence was almost overwhelming.

"Maybe they're asleep?" Emily murmured nervously.

"I just hope they haven't killed each other." Naomi answered. They exchanged another look, before they both almost ran to the bathroom door, unlocking it in a hurry, wrenching it open.

"Jesus!" Katie exclaimed, clambering off Effy in a hurry, covering up her naked torso. "Don't you people knock?" She demanded angrily, snatching a towel off the rack. Naomi and Emily stood there stunned for a moment, before the hilarity became to much. Their eyes met and they both started laughing uncontrollably. "Oh for fucks sake." Katie exclaimed as Effy started laughing too.

"We thought… We thought… You might have killed each other." Naomi laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, well…" Katie answered sheepishly, exchanging a smile with Effy. Emily and Naomi looked at each other and burst out laughing again. "It's not that funny!" Katie yelled, but Naomi was clinging to Emily at this point, not sure if she could stop laughing even if she tried. Katie threw up the hand not hanging on to the towel.

"I think we should just leave them to it." Effy said calmly. "Obviously they don't intend on stopping any time soon."

"So this might be the perfect time to show you my place?" Katie smirked. "There's a few things I want you to see."

"Oh?" Effy answered, looking intrigued. "And what might that be?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I was thinking you'd like to see the paint job on my bedroom ceiling…" Katie said innocently, walking out of the bathroom towards the front door, leaving Effy slightly dazed behind her. Naomi finally got control over her laughter, grinning at Effy. "Are you coming?" Katie shouted from the hallway, shaking Effy from her reverie.

"I have a feeling I will be soon." Effy muttered, a dazzling smile on her face. "Thank you." She said louder, not realising that Naomi had heard her murmur and was fighting not to start laughing again. "I owe you big time, Naomi. We owe you." Naomi instantly grew serious at those words, nodding at her.

Emily cleared her throat, laughter gone from her face as she fixed Effy with a determined stare. "If you break her heart again, I will hunt you down and end you." Naomi's eyes widened, eyes darting from Emily to Effy.

"If I break her heart again, I'll come find you myself." Effy answered seriously, Emily nodded, looking thoughtful.

"You really do love her, don't you?" She stated more then she asked. The stupid grin on Effy's face was more then enough answer. "Then what are you waiting for? Go." Emily grinned. Effy wasted no time, practically running after Katie. They heard the door slam shut across the hallway and grinned to each other.

"Well, that was eventful." Naomi remarked.

"I have a feeling it's just the beginning." Emily answered, stepping into Naomi's arms.

"I hope it is." Naomi breathed, smiling. "I can't wait for the rest of it."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Do you want to go look at our bedroom ceiling?"

"Are you propositioning me, Emily Fitch?"

"Yes I am, Naomi Campbell."

"Maybe we should take turns looking at that ceiling?"

"I think that would be best… Compare notes when we're done and all that."

"Naomi?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Bossy."

"You love it."

"Yes I do."

**-The End-**

* * *

**A proper authors note will be along within the next few days.**


	33. End of story ramble of gratitude

**Just a rambling ranting Author's Note.**

First of all, I can't believe I'm done with it. It's over. I've actually finished it… Wow. *shakes head* Took me long enough... *grins* Congratulations to everyone who managed to get passed the first few chapters.

I started this story as a way for me to hang on to Emily and Naomi just a little while longer. I wanted to keep them alive, I guess. As some of you might have already read on my profile, I love Naomi and Emily. I love them so much it's killing me... *Ahem*

I have no clue where this idea came from, I don't even know what possessed me to write it down. I do, however, know that the decision to post it was fueled by too many beers and me being bored. It also had everything to do with Heather Hogan's 4.08 review. I read it and I missed them terribly, so after rewatching every episode again (for the 5th or 6th time), this story came tumbling out.

People have told me that it's been confusing, they've wanted to know what the flickers are. They've wanted to know why and they've been bugging me to explain it all. The problem is, I didn't want to explain it all. I wanted to give you all a chance to imagine things for yourself. I personally hate when writers explain every little detail of their stories.

But enough of the why's and the how's... I want to get down to what I really wanted to do with this Author's Note. The thank you's. (And if I forgot to mention you, it's because I should have made a list before attempting this. I'm sorry.)

I guess I'll start with **Esdiferente: **Thank you for listening to me whine and moan about word counts and writers blocks and anything else I threw at you. If it wasn't for you, this story would have been dead in the water a long time ago. I hope everyone here has read and loved your stories like I have, because you are talented. Disclaimer or not. *grins*

**Hypes:** You are just incredible and a lovely person. Thanks for reading and reviewing. And I've said it before, but I'll say it again, IHAFICC is one of the first stories I read an loved on here. And one of the reasons I started to write. If I have a tenth of your talent, I'll consider myself lucky.

**Stunty: **You were one of the first people to review, and Anything to Declare is a piece of art. I love the story and I thank you for the support. (Even if you do keep claiming Naomi is yours...)

**Blue-Eyed-Blonde: **Thank you for all the encouragement, all the reviews. I loved them all and I love your stories.

**NiceOneBlondie: **Your story is one of those that made me write. I loved it from the first few words of it. Thank you for writing it, and thank you for the reviews.

**Lumagoo, Coolbeans and every other regular and irregular reviewer: **Thank you so much. They've all meant a lot.

And last, but so not least... I'd like to mention **Vangoghgurrl.** Generalissimo. The creator of the Game. *grins* You're just fun.

Also a big thanks to everyone that have read it all, lurking in the shadows. I hope you liked it.

To everyone that have asked me if there's going to be more... I doubt it. As far as I'm concerned, I've sent the Flickers versions of Naomi and Emily off into the sunset (Along with the rest of them.) I hope they're happy, actually, I know they are. *smiles*

And before you all go, yes... I am writing something new. I'm not sure when it will be here, but I do know it's going to be called **Chasing Shadows **and it'll be rated M for all the wrong reasons *grins*. It will be completely different from Flickers and not all of you are going to like it. But I'm ok with that.

Keep writing all you writers, keep dazzling me with your wonderful stories. There are so many talented people here, and I'm just honoured to read your work. See you all some time soon *Grins*

**-Hawke**

P.S: To all the twitter people, you are all hilarious and lovely. And you constantly try to invade my brain... Some of you even seem to have set up camp in there. I should have mentioned all of you.


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